Would you leave your wife if she let herself go? - Page 5

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Posted: 7/28/2015 8:41:03 AM EDT

[#1]

Yep. Fat means you don't care.
I had a buddy who had a fat wife. I can still see her at the stove....
I don't know how you can come home to it and still have a positive attitude, much less do her.
Height and weight proportional.

Posted: 7/28/2015 8:51:29 AM EDT

[#2]

Quote History

Quoted:
Yep. Fat means you don't care.
I had a buddy who had a fat wife. I can still see her at the stove....
I don't know how you can come home to it and still have a positive attitude, much less do her.
Height and weight proportional.

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Some people are just into bangin fatties though. I don't get it either.

Posted: 7/28/2015 9:09:12 AM EDT

[#3]

No.

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Posted: 7/28/2015 9:12:18 AM EDT

[#4]

just tell her your going to start fucking women that weight less than you, if that's not her it will be someone else.

Posted: 7/28/2015 9:21:49 AM EDT

[#5]

If she refuses to be realistic about things then it's time for a shrink.

If she exhausts every possible avenue then I'm out.

Time is short and I don't want to spend my whole life dealing with an irrational person.

Posted: 7/28/2015 9:22:15 AM EDT

[#6]

I'm not worried about my woman getting older and suffering the effects of age, injury and illness, except that I don't want her to have to go through that at all. I would never leave her for weight gain or attractiveness reasons, as that's not why she's mine in the first place. I would still miss the amazing hotness, though.

However, if her weight and general behavior were part of an overall abandonment of our relationship and my larger needs, I would consider dumping her if she couldn't be brought back to the place I need her to be in the relationship.

Posted: 7/28/2015 9:23:53 AM EDT

[#7]

No. I'm committed to her. I've only asked that she stay healthy. Age takes it's toll on us all.

Posted: 7/28/2015 9:25:34 AM EDT

[#8]

People should have more respect for their spouse and themselves.
Letting ones self go is not just a physical appearance issue.
It leads to health issues also.

Posted: 7/28/2015 9:25:40 AM EDT

[#9]

Quote History

Quoted:
I'm not worried about my woman getting older and suffering the effects of age, injury and illness, except that I don't want her to have to go through that at all. I would never leave her for weight gain or attractiveness reasons, as that's not why she's mine in the first place. I would still miss the amazing hotness, though.

However, if her weight and general behavior were part of an overall abandonment of our relationship and my larger needs, I would consider dumping her if she couldn't be brought back to the place I need her to be in the relationship.

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Bingo.

Generally speaking, when there's a tremendous weight gain, one of two things has happened--either the marriage is going stellar and things are SO good people can't help but be gluttonous, or things suck and they are eating for comfort. JME.

Posted: 7/28/2015 9:28:21 AM EDT

[#10]

Quote History

Quoted:

Bingo.

Generally speaking, when there's a tremendous weight gain, one of two things has happened--either the marriage is going stellar and things are SO good people can't help but be gluttonous, or things suck and they are eating for comfort. JME.

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Quoted:

Quoted:
I'm not worried about my woman getting older and suffering the effects of age, injury and illness, except that I don't want her to have to go through that at all. I would never leave her for weight gain or attractiveness reasons, as that's not why she's mine in the first place. I would still miss the amazing hotness, though.

However, if her weight and general behavior were part of an overall abandonment of our relationship and my larger needs, I would consider dumping her if she couldn't be brought back to the place I need her to be in the relationship.

Bingo.

Generally speaking, when there's a tremendous weight gain, one of two things has happened--either the marriage is going stellar and things are SO good people can't help but be gluttonous, or things suck and they are eating for comfort. JME.

It can be a symptom of rebellion and means of creating distance. JME.

Posted: 7/28/2015 9:40:53 AM EDT

[#11]

She was big when i met her...my previous gf was a size 2...i kept wanting her to put on a few pounds..be careful what you ask for

Posted: 7/28/2015 9:55:56 AM EDT

[#12]

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Probably not, but I wouldn't have sex with her anymore.

I guess that's why some guys get a girlfriend on the side.

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I thought withholding sex from a spouse was generally frowned upon. Women are soundly condemned for doing so, so why would it be OK for a man to do so?

Posted: 7/28/2015 10:23:04 AM EDT

[#13]

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I thought withholding sex from a spouse was generally frowned upon. Women are soundly condemned for doing so, so why would it be OK for a man to do so?

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Quoted:
Probably not, but I wouldn't have sex with her anymore.

I guess that's why some guys get a girlfriend on the side.

I thought withholding sex from a spouse was generally frowned upon. Women are soundly condemned for doing so, so why would it be OK for a man to do so?

[GD]Well, that's different[/GD]

Posted: 7/28/2015 10:32:29 AM EDT

[#14]

Shit my wife is in better shape than when we met and I'm in worse!

Posted: 7/28/2015 10:35:24 AM EDT

[#15]

Every inch she gains is an inch I lose.

Posted: 7/28/2015 10:42:58 AM EDT

[#16]

No I would not. But I would probably not let her get that way either. But if she did, I would hope to do my best and help her get back on track.

Posted: 7/28/2015 11:44:14 AM EDT

[#17]

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I really pray that Arfcom is mostly kids under 18 because y'all sure act like it.

I think one of the reasons that married people live longer is that spouses take care of each other. I know my wife would help me up if I started taking a dive, and I know I would her.

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The whole premise of this thread is that your wife decides to disregard her body, acquire type 2 diabetes and increase her health insurance premiums because she just doesn't give a shit anymore. You've tried to help her but she goes batshit. Let's assume this has gone on for a long time and she is increasingly obstinate.

Do you really love somebody if you are fine with them increasing their risk of heart disease by well over 30% and decreasing their life expectancy? Gluttony is just as bad as any other addiction and lol @ everyone blaming it on slowing down and aging.

Posted: 7/28/2015 11:58:12 AM EDT

[#18]

Quote History

Quoted:

The whole premise of this thread is that your wife decides to disregard her body, acquire type 2 diabetes and increase her health insurance premiums because she just doesn't give a shit anymore. You've tried to help her but she goes batshit. Let's assume this has gone on for a long time and she is increasingly obstinate.

Do you really love somebody if you are fine with them increasing their risk of heart disease by well over 30% and decreasing their life expectancy? Gluttony is just as bad as any other addiction and lol @ everyone blaming it on slowing down and aging.

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Quoted:

Quoted:
I really pray that Arfcom is mostly kids under 18 because y'all sure act like it.

I think one of the reasons that married people live longer is that spouses take care of each other. I know my wife would help me up if I started taking a dive, and I know I would her.

The whole premise of this thread is that your wife decides to disregard her body, acquire type 2 diabetes and increase her health insurance premiums because she just doesn't give a shit anymore. You've tried to help her but she goes batshit. Let's assume this has gone on for a long time and she is increasingly obstinate.

Do you really love somebody if you are fine with them increasing their risk of heart disease by well over 30% and decreasing their life expectancy? Gluttony is just as bad as any other addiction and lol @ everyone blaming it on slowing down and aging.

At that point in time, it's not about appearance, insurance, etc. At that point, there are mental health issues in play. Either you are OK with living with those issues, or you insist she seek mental health counseling, or you give up. Hopefully, you encourage the mental health counseling, because she's probably extremely depressed. Generally, when people are that obstinate and defensive about obesity, that is the root cause.

Posted: 7/28/2015 11:59:19 AM EDT

[#19]

Quote History

Quoted:

The whole premise of this thread is that your wife decides to disregard her body, acquire type 2 diabetes and increase her health insurance premiums because she just doesn't give a shit anymore. You've tried to help her but she goes batshit. Let's assume this has gone on for a long time and she is increasingly obstinate.

Do you really love somebody if you are fine with them increasing their risk of heart disease by well over 30% and decreasing their life expectancy? Gluttony is just as bad as any other addiction and lol @ everyone blaming it on slowing down and aging.

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Quoted:

Quoted:
I really pray that Arfcom is mostly kids under 18 because y'all sure act like it.

I think one of the reasons that married people live longer is that spouses take care of each other. I know my wife would help me up if I started taking a dive, and I know I would her.

The whole premise of this thread is that your wife decides to disregard her body, acquire type 2 diabetes and increase her health insurance premiums because she just doesn't give a shit anymore. You've tried to help her but she goes batshit. Let's assume this has gone on for a long time and she is increasingly obstinate.

Do you really love somebody if you are fine with them increasing their risk of heart disease by well over 30% and decreasing their life expectancy? Gluttony is just as bad as any other addiction and lol @ everyone blaming it on slowing down and aging.

Funny side note, I once had a gf that blamed weight gain on aging. She was 29...

Posted: 7/28/2015 12:27:49 PM EDT

[#20]

It's about respect. If you are staying fit, provide for her and her needs, then there is no excuse for her not trying. If she respects and wants you, then she should at least give 100% to the relationship by trying to comply with her partners wishes. If she doesn't, then she is breaking her vows and shows a lack of respect to you and the relationship.

If you feel that you have exhausted all avenues to get her to try to change her habits, respect your wishes and she still won't try, then eject. Life's too short to be unhappy.

Posted: 7/28/2015 12:39:00 PM EDT

[#21]

Quote History

Quoted:

I thought withholding sex from a spouse was generally frowned upon. Women are soundly condemned for doing so, so why would it be OK for a man to do so?

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Quoted:

Quoted:
Probably not, but I wouldn't have sex with her anymore.

I guess that's why some guys get a girlfriend on the side.

I thought withholding sex from a spouse was generally frowned upon. Women are soundly condemned for doing so, so why would it be OK for a man to do so?

Because the person you quoted is a dumbshit and regularly posts dumbshit things.

Posted: 7/28/2015 12:43:40 PM EDT

[#22]

No. I took an oath.

Posted: 7/28/2015 12:47:21 PM EDT

[#23]

Til death til do you part, is how it goes.

If you need an asterisk at the end of that statement, then you shouldn't take the vow

Posted: 7/28/2015 1:08:50 PM EDT

[#24]

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Til death til do you part, is how it goes.

If you need an asterisk at the end of that statement, then you shouldn't take the vow

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Some people just say what they have to...in order to get elected,get the job,get married,get the loan....whatever....

Other people may mean if from the heart but the cares of this present world erode away their commitment....

Others made their promises to God and believe He holds them accountable as they hold to his promises......

I can guarantee that the latter holds far less pain in the long haul than any of the former.

Posted: 7/28/2015 1:15:26 PM EDT

[#25]

http://www.ar15.com/forums/t_1_5/1772641_Watching_My_Wife_s_health_Grind_Her_Down__Helplessly.html&page=1&anc=-1

Posted: 7/28/2015 1:39:38 PM EDT

[#26]

ITT: The Sanctity of Marriage

Posted: 7/28/2015 2:02:46 PM EDT

[#27]

Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, ...

Posted: 7/28/2015 2:10:06 PM EDT

[#28]

Fat girls give better blowjobs, you know?

Posted: 7/28/2015 2:10:25 PM EDT

[#29]

no, I made a promise.

Posted: 7/28/2015 2:12:02 PM EDT

[#30]

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No, mine has gained 20lbs per kid and hasn't lost it while I am fit. For better or worse

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This, words have meaning.

Posted: 7/28/2015 2:19:00 PM EDT

[#31]

Had a guy that I worked with dump his wife because she became a pig. She put on about 50 lbs from when he married her and he gave her a year to drop the weight. The way I understand it he mentioned it to her in passing, something like "if you don't lose the weight in a year I'm filing for a divorce". Never said another word to her about it. One year to the day he dropped the divorce papers.

Sort of cold thing to do and I'm sure there was no love in the marriage. In his defense she didn't work, no kids and sat at home stuffing her suck with food.

Posted: 7/28/2015 2:21:32 PM EDT

[#32]

No, there is more to marriage than looks. If you think so, then you shouldn't be married.

Posted: 7/28/2015 2:24:59 PM EDT

[#33]

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Quoted:
I don't know why people get married.

Just buy a house and give it to a fat chick, that's how it's going to end anyhow.

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But seriously, OP, you need help. Like, legal help. Unless she's dealing with health issues that caused the weight gain, she's just mooching off of you. No kids, but she still stays at home? THAT is a big red flag.

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Posted: 7/28/2015 2:34:51 PM EDT

[#34]

Maybe the wives should leave the husbands that let themselves go.

Posted: 7/28/2015 2:38:34 PM EDT

[#35]

Of course not. If anyone would they should probably reconsider the arrangement in the first place.

Posted: 7/28/2015 2:42:17 PM EDT

[#36]

Quote History

Quoted:

But seriously, OP, you need help. Like, legal help. Unless she's dealing with health issues that caused the weight gain, she's just mooching off of you. No kids, but she still stays at home? THAT is a big red flag.

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Quoted:

Quoted:
I don't know why people get married.

Just buy a house and give it to a fat chick, that's how it's going to end anyhow.

But seriously, OP, you need help. Like, legal help. Unless she's dealing with health issues that caused the weight gain, she's just mooching off of you. No kids, but she still stays at home? THAT is a big red flag.

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This is where one has to determine what infidelity in a marriage actually means. I feel that it means intentional, long term unfaithfulness to the relationship every bit as much as it means sex with others. That could be many things, but the litmus test lies in the partner's motivations. To my mind, selfishness maintained through repetitive victimization and the infliction of discomfort through deprivation and aggression are a truer form of abandonment and infidelity than any illicit sexual activity which might be more traditionally defined as infidelity in the strictest sense.

I won't accept either type of activity in any committed relationship. YMMV.

Posted: 7/28/2015 2:56:11 PM EDT

[#37]

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Maybe the wives should leave the husbands that let themselves go.

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I know a lot of men that would be in real trouble if that happened.

Posted: 7/28/2015 3:27:54 PM EDT

[#38]

Quote History

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Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, ...

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Proverbs 23:20-21
Be not among drunkards or among gluttonous eaters of meat, for the drunkard and the glutton will come to poverty, and slumber will clothe them with rags.

1 Corinthians 6:19-20
Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.

Titus 2:3-5
Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled.

Proverbs 23:2
And put a knife to your throat If you are a man of great appetite.

Posted: 7/28/2015 3:44:01 PM EDT

[#39]

Quote History

Quoted:

Proverbs 23:20-21
Be not among drunkards or among gluttonous eaters of meat, for the drunkard and the glutton will come to poverty, and slumber will clothe them with rags.

1 Corinthians 6:19-20
Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.

Titus 2:3-5
Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled.

Proverbs 23:2
And put a knife to your throat If you are a man of great appetite.

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Quoted:

Quoted:

Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, ...

Proverbs 23:20-21
Be not among drunkards or among gluttonous eaters of meat, for the drunkard and the glutton will come to poverty, and slumber will clothe them with rags.

1 Corinthians 6:19-20
Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.

Titus 2:3-5
Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled.

Proverbs 23:2
And put a knife to your throat If you are a man of great appetite.

Mick Jagger, Keith Richards, 1969 off of the Let it Bleed album.

I saw her today at the reception

A glass of wine in her hand

I knew she would meet her connection

At her feet was a footloose man

No, you can't always get what you want

You can't always get what you want

You can't always get what you want

But if you try sometime you find

You get what you need

And a little Stones for perspective and then some Queen to brighten the day for all you guys married to fatty fat fatties.

Posted: 7/31/2015 1:57:47 AM EDT

[#40]

Promises and vows... BLEH, what the fuck ever...

Promises and vows don't mean shit to them, so, when deal breakers are reached, well then, deal breakers are reached. I've been a chump "Oath keeper" before, and I stood there like an idiot. Fuck that, I'm not sticking around for some fat cow.

Posted: 7/31/2015 6:34:14 AM EDT

[#41]

How many of these wives who let themselves go are being allowed to stay at home instead of work? And how many were merely youthful, and not into fitness when you married them? I'm not talking about playing a sport because it's fun, but determined to stay healthy.

Posted: 7/31/2015 11:41:22 AM EDT

[#42]

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How many of these wives who let themselves go are being allowed to stay at home instead of work? And how many were merely youthful, and not into fitness when you married them? I'm not talking about playing a sport because it's fun, but determined to stay healthy.

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Insightful question. My wife got into jogging more than a decade after we got married. I appreciate her efforts. She was always a busy person, but hadn't been involved in athletics for a long time. Then again, I was in much the same boat. We've been rejoicing in that recently we both got new bikes and for the first time in our marriage we've done some bike rides together.