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Link Posted: 4/20/2015 5:45:25 PM EDT
[#1]

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Fixed it. Didn't Lucas own the toy rights to the originals?

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I'm sure other people feel this way as well, but I view Ewoks as a disturbing harbinger of Star Wars developments to come, especially after the release of the not Star Wars prequels.



Shit, there was an entire full of fuck Ewok movie, that a lot of young people (including myself) were tricked into watching as a kid because it was a Star Wars movie, and Star Wars movies were awesome!




Harrison Ford referred to it as the worst ending ever, having "a teddy bear picnic" at the end of the trilogy.
Lucas- "well at first I wanted it to be a whole planet of wookies (which would = awesome), but I decided that would be too cool make less money and made kids get into teddy bear kid sized wookie-ish costumes instead."

 




Fixed it. Didn't Lucas own the toy rights to the originals?

Oh yeah.  He had some deal with Kenner.  I had a bunch of that stuff in the late 70s and early 80s.  The ships like the tie fighter and x-wing were about $9.  Big ones like millenium falcon were more like $25 IIRC.  I had the death star with the cardboard inserts, I think those were about $30.  The stuff wasn't super expensive, but not cheap either.



That was the beginning of the Christmas fights in stores to get the correct toy.  Begun the action figure war has.



 
Link Posted: 4/20/2015 5:47:19 PM EDT
[#2]

The uncle was instructed to keep Luke in the dark about his family history. Its why Luke was not allowed to "join the academy" and his uncle kept pushing that back.  He had to keep Luke off the radar, or Vader would come calling to offer Luke a dark side apprenticeship.  While the movies didn't make it all clear, the books certainly.  did.  

Link Posted: 4/20/2015 5:48:42 PM EDT
[#3]
In 2000 years this saga could be taught like the bible.
Back to the topic at hand.
Link Posted: 4/20/2015 5:50:48 PM EDT
[#4]
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That part has always bugged me.
When I saw the movie as an 8-year-old kid, I assumed he was dressing incognito and hiding out in bedouinish robes like they said, a hermit in the desert.
25 years later it turned out that was how the Jedi dressed.
Why didn't people recognize him for what he was on sight?
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Why did Obi-Wan Kenobi continue to dress like a Jedi when he was in hiding?Why does he fondly remember a guy that killed 30 children and that he himself chopped in half and left to die in a volcano?


Those are just some of the questions that are raised rewatching the original trilogy after watching the prequels.

That part has always bugged me.
When I saw the movie as an 8-year-old kid, I assumed he was dressing incognito and hiding out in bedouinish robes like they said, a hermit in the desert.
25 years later it turned out that was how the Jedi dressed.
Why didn't people recognize him for what he was on sight?


They were weak minded.
Link Posted: 4/20/2015 5:51:07 PM EDT
[#5]
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In 2000 years this saga could be taught like the bible.
Back to the topic at hand.
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Reminds me of the movie Reign of Fire, where Christian Bale and Gerard Butler are doing a play based on ESB in front of the kids in the castle.
Link Posted: 4/20/2015 5:54:07 PM EDT
[#6]
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Personally, I would have expected him to notice the last name similarity, and probably even get teased about it somehow, and it would have taken little to no research to discover Anakin later became a hero Jedi of the Clone Wars where he often fought alongside Obi-Wan Kenobi, whose name Luke did not even recognize in A New Hope though he rightly guessed it was the same person as Ben Kenobi.

Maybe Luke flunked history class.
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In the EU, almost everything Jedi related was censored by the Empire.
Link Posted: 4/20/2015 5:54:51 PM EDT
[#7]

I started out on page one and was all like "hey cool, a Star Wars thread."

Now, that I'm on page five, I'm all like:


Link Posted: 4/20/2015 5:57:13 PM EDT
[#8]
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In the EU, almost everything Jedi related was censored by the Empire.
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Personally, I would have expected him to notice the last name similarity, and probably even get teased about it somehow, and it would have taken little to no research to discover Anakin later became a hero Jedi of the Clone Wars where he often fought alongside Obi-Wan Kenobi, whose name Luke did not even recognize in A New Hope though he rightly guessed it was the same person as Ben Kenobi.

Maybe Luke flunked history class.


In the EU, almost everything Jedi related was censored by the Empire.


I liked the EU. Too bad the story lines won't be used though. Dearth Bane was very fucking awesome.
Link Posted: 4/20/2015 5:59:53 PM EDT
[#9]

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Regardless, even if 1-3 don't exist, someone still made the brilliant decision to hide Luke from Darth Vader and the Empire on Anakin's home planet with his family and the same name. You can't tell me that the Emperor and Vader were so retarded that in their hunt for the Jedi that they up and missed something that flipping obvious - Jedi powers run in bloodlines, they would have been wiping out most Skywalkers (and any other traditional families) even if Luke weren't there.
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The answer is:



Star Wars is shitty as fuck and the story is stupid. The end.



If you refuse to accept that the prequels exist this question becomes easier to explain.


Pretty much this. Episodes 1 to 3? What episodes?






Regardless, even if 1-3 don't exist, someone still made the brilliant decision to hide Luke from Darth Vader and the Empire on Anakin's home planet with his family and the same name. You can't tell me that the Emperor and Vader were so retarded that in their hunt for the Jedi that they up and missed something that flipping obvious - Jedi powers run in bloodlines, they would have been wiping out most Skywalkers (and any other traditional families) even if Luke weren't there.




 
Vader thought that Paddy and the kid died in childbirth because that is what the Emperor told him. I'm pretty sure no one was looking for Luke.
Link Posted: 4/20/2015 6:07:04 PM EDT
[#10]
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This.
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Quoted:
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The answer is:

Star Wars is shitty as fuck and the story is stupid. The end.

If you refuse to accept that the prequels exist this question becomes easier to explain.


This.



Yep
Link Posted: 4/20/2015 6:07:21 PM EDT
[#11]
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This.
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Quoted:
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The answer is:

Star Wars is shitty as fuck and the story is stupid. The end.

If you refuse to accept that the prequels exist this question becomes easier to explain.


This.

Link Posted: 4/20/2015 6:13:26 PM EDT
[#12]

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  Vader thought that Paddy and the kid died in childbirth because that is what the Emperor told him. I'm pretty sure no one was looking for Luke.

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Quoted:


Quoted:


Quoted:


Quoted:

The answer is:



Star Wars is shitty as fuck and the story is stupid. The end.



If you refuse to accept that the prequels exist this question becomes easier to explain.


Pretty much this. Episodes 1 to 3? What episodes?






Regardless, even if 1-3 don't exist, someone still made the brilliant decision to hide Luke from Darth Vader and the Empire on Anakin's home planet with his family and the same name. You can't tell me that the Emperor and Vader were so retarded that in their hunt for the Jedi that they up and missed something that flipping obvious - Jedi powers run in bloodlines, they would have been wiping out most Skywalkers (and any other traditional families) even if Luke weren't there.


  Vader thought that Paddy and the kid died in childbirth because that is what the Emperor told him. I'm pretty sure no one was looking for Luke.

The point is true.  But the emperor told him he killed her.  That way he would go from fuckchop to self-hating darkside fuckchop.



 
Link Posted: 4/20/2015 6:16:35 PM EDT
[#13]
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The answer is:

Star Wars is shitty as fuck and the story is stupid. The end.
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Must be a trekkie  
Link Posted: 4/20/2015 6:20:28 PM EDT
[#14]
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Because star wars is retarded.



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So your a Trekkie or Brony?
Link Posted: 4/20/2015 6:20:48 PM EDT
[#15]
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Must be a trekkie  
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The answer is:

Star Wars is shitty as fuck and the story is stupid. The end.


Must be a trekkie  


Actually, with that level of hate, I'd bet a trekker.
I know lots of trekkies, myself included, that also enjoy Star Wars.
Link Posted: 4/20/2015 6:30:41 PM EDT
[#16]
Prequels are fucking retarded and is so is trying to rationalize the plot.
Link Posted: 4/20/2015 7:09:31 PM EDT
[#17]
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Just because it was never brought up doesn't mean he didn't know. A podrace won Thirty to Forty years before also would not maintain a man's celebrity. It would be known by hardcore enthusiasts, but likely no one else. Can you, off the top of your head tell me the quarterback of the winning Superbowl XII team?
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Jim Plunket  



ETA:  Not very close
Link Posted: 4/20/2015 7:15:16 PM EDT
[#18]
How did the Death Star move from system to system? In EP IV it takes FOREVER for the damn thing to get into firing position.

Oh, and why in EP IV didn't they launch more Tie-Fighters?  WTF? Only three Tie-Fighters?  The Death Star must have had at least a full squadron.
Link Posted: 4/20/2015 7:23:39 PM EDT
[#19]
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How did the Death Star move from system to system? In EP IV it takes FOREVER for the damn thing to get into firing position.

Oh, and why in EP IV didn't they launch more Tie-Fighters?  WTF? Only three Tie-Fighters?  The Death Star must have had at least a full squadron.
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It had hyperdrives. Also, Tarkin was so certain that the Rebel fighters weren't a threat that he refused to launch fighters. Vader took his personal squad out anyway because he recognized the threat, especially since he could feel one of the pilots was strong in the Force.
Link Posted: 4/20/2015 7:27:49 PM EDT
[#20]
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And another thing.  Little Anni's win happened about 35 years before Luke was born.

Can YOU name the winner of the Daytona 500 from 1980?  How about LeMans?  Or the Monaco GP?

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This one I can get -  1980 was Buddy Baker
Link Posted: 4/20/2015 7:44:57 PM EDT
[#21]
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The answer is:

Star Wars is shitty as fuck and the story is stupid. The end.
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Could you do me a favor? Since I'm currently force choking you through the internet I'm going to need you to go ahead and choke yourself.

Link Posted: 4/20/2015 7:45:50 PM EDT
[#22]
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Could you do me a favor? Since I'm currently force choking you through the internet I'm going to need you to go ahead and choke yourself.

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The answer is:

Star Wars is shitty as fuck and the story is stupid. The end.


Could you do me a favor? Since I'm currently force choking you through the internet I'm going to need you to go ahead and choke yourself.



I find your lack of faith disturbing.
Link Posted: 4/20/2015 8:12:34 PM EDT
[#23]
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To be fair, it seems like some of the EU may yet survive. We will see. I am optimistic for some Zahn elements in the new movies.

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If the new Star Wars movies are good then there will be six episodes.  Right now there are only three.  IV, V, and VI.


Disney canned the Expanded Universe first. The three new movies are dead on arrival as far as I'm concerned.


To be fair, it seems like some of the EU may yet survive. We will see. I am optimistic for some Zahn elements in the new movies.

Posted Via AR15.Com Mobile


Don't forget the director for the new Star Wars movie is the same guy whose reboot of Star Trek meant the original series, all of the movies, The Next Generation, Deep Space 9, and even Voyager were retconned into oblivion.  In fact the only thing kept is fucking Enterprise, the only ST thing worse than Voyager.

So don't expect any beloved Expanded Universe stuff to survive.

Once he's done, expect a retcon where the only thing to exist is Phantom Menace, this scene in the prequels:



And the Holiday Special.

Link Posted: 4/20/2015 9:12:43 PM EDT
[#24]
What was the name of a movie that came out in the 80s, were some family crash landed on that planet with all the Ewoks?
Link Posted: 4/20/2015 9:19:29 PM EDT
[#25]
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What was the name of a movie that came out in the 80s, were some family crash landed on that planet with all the Ewoks?
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Caravan of Courage/The Ewok Adventure.

Also, Ewoks: Battle For Endor:

Link Posted: 4/20/2015 9:23:19 PM EDT
[#26]
Yep.............and Luke first found that out when Obi-Wan told him Vader killed his father............probably intentionally kept in the dark to prevent Vader from finding him

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IIRC, Luke KNEW Anakin was his father, but that he was killed by Vader. The fact that he was a local celebrity for winning the race would have been an irrelevant point. The detail of Anakin BECOMING Vader is something that wouldn't have been well known given the chaos going on at the time and Vader hoping to conceal his past.

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Anakin Skywalker was the only known human to podrace, and he won the Boonta Eve Classic which was a really big deal on Tatooine. Since Luke also grew up on Tatooine, why didn't he know anything about his father who would have been a local celebrity? I suppose Uncle Owen could have sheltered him, but I'd think he'd have to have no knowledge of local history or pop culture to miss this one.



He did not know Anakin was his father at all.


IIRC, Luke KNEW Anakin was his father, but that he was killed by Vader. The fact that he was a local celebrity for winning the race would have been an irrelevant point. The detail of Anakin BECOMING Vader is something that wouldn't have been well known given the chaos going on at the time and Vader hoping to conceal his past.

Posted Via AR15.Com Mobile

Link Posted: 4/20/2015 9:26:37 PM EDT
[#27]
Because episode 1 contributes absolutely nothing to the Star Wars series, and never should have been made.

I recently was introduced to the "Machete Order," of watching the Star Wars series, and episode 1 is pure and utter shit. Throw it straight in the trash.
Link Posted: 4/20/2015 9:27:05 PM EDT
[#28]
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To be fair, it seems like some of the EU may yet survive. We will see. I am optimistic for some Zahn elements in the new movies.

Posted Via AR15.Com Mobile
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Quoted:
Quoted:
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If the new Star Wars movies are good then there will be six episodes.  Right now there are only three.  IV, V, and VI.


Disney canned the Expanded Universe first. The three new movies are dead on arrival as far as I'm concerned.


To be fair, it seems like some of the EU may yet survive. We will see. I am optimistic for some Zahn elements in the new movies.

Posted Via AR15.Com Mobile



Zahn, Rogue/Wraith Squadron and Mara Jade better all be coming back or Disney can fuck itself to death.

Corran Horn was a badass
Link Posted: 4/20/2015 9:29:43 PM EDT
[#29]
Episode one is to Star Wars what episode 2 is to Highlander - it's best to ignore.
Link Posted: 4/20/2015 9:35:18 PM EDT
[#30]
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My son Luke and my dog Leia said this in unison to you....

"You shut your whore mouth!!!"



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Quoted:
The answer is:

Star Wars is shitty as fuck and the story is stupid. The end.



My son Luke and my dog Leia said this in unison to you....

"You shut your whore mouth!!!"





This.
Link Posted: 4/20/2015 9:36:54 PM EDT
[#31]
Luke took the short speeder to Jawa school.
Link Posted: 4/20/2015 9:39:07 PM EDT
[#32]
Because Lucas is a hack?
Link Posted: 4/20/2015 9:45:09 PM EDT
[#33]
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The answer is:

Star Wars is shitty as fuck and the story is stupid. The end.
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Link Posted: 4/20/2015 9:46:06 PM EDT
[#34]
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Ah, a sad story that.  It all goes back to the moisture collectors.

They got infected with fungus.  Luke's job was to clean them.  He inhaled a lot of spores so he was basically tripping balls for most of his childhood.  He had an invisible friend named Obi Wan Kenobi who liked to tell Luke that he was special.

The truth is the fungus rotted his brain to the point where the walls between fantasy and reality completely broke down.  He concocted wild stories about space travel and talking droids.

All of it was just the hallucinations talking.  In one violent hallucination he murdered his foster family, screaming that Stormtroopers had done the deed.

He spent the rest of his days at the Vader Clinic For The Criminally Insane ranting about the "force" and how he was a man of destiny.
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Link Posted: 4/20/2015 9:49:03 PM EDT
[#35]
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Because episode 1 contributes absolutely nothing to the Star Wars series, and never should have been made.

I recently was introduced to the "Machete Order," of watching the Star Wars series, and episode 1 is pure and utter shit. Throw it straight in the trash.
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Amen.

I actually like 3 (heresy to some, I know), and I can stomach 2.

1....is a living abortion of a Star Wars film. It seriously felt like a Michael Bay 'movie' than anything else.
Link Posted: 4/20/2015 10:04:54 PM EDT
[#36]
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You shut your whore mouth!

That there is female perfection.

Link Posted: 4/20/2015 10:10:06 PM EDT
[#37]




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He did not know Anakin was his father at all.
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Quoted:




Anakin Skywalker was the only known human to podrace, and he won the Boonta Eve Classic which was a really big deal on Tatooine. Since Luke also grew up on Tatooine, why didn't he know anything about his father who would have been a local celebrity? I suppose Uncle Owen could have sheltered him, but I'd think he'd have to have no knowledge of local history or pop culture to miss this one.

He did not know Anakin was his father at all.







 









Luke's mom was a skanky hoodrat
















 
Link Posted: 4/20/2015 10:10:41 PM EDT
[#38]
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I liked the EU. Too bad the story lines won't be used though. Dearth Bane was very fucking awesome.
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Personally, I would have expected him to notice the last name similarity, and probably even get teased about it somehow, and it would have taken little to no research to discover Anakin later became a hero Jedi of the Clone Wars where he often fought alongside Obi-Wan Kenobi, whose name Luke did not even recognize in A New Hope though he rightly guessed it was the same person as Ben Kenobi.

Maybe Luke flunked history class.


In the EU, almost everything Jedi related was censored by the Empire.


I liked the EU. Too bad the story lines won't be used though. Dearth Bane was very fucking awesome.



What did he do besides wipe out all of the Sith in the gayest manner possible and reintroduce the Rule of Two?
Link Posted: 4/20/2015 10:13:38 PM EDT
[#39]
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He knew of his father, it is unknown if he knew his father was a pod racer.
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This.  He knew his father was Anakin Skywalker.  

He didn't know Anakin Skywalker was Darth Vader - no one did, other than Obi Wan, Yoda and maybe a few others that weren't talking.
Link Posted: 4/20/2015 10:14:34 PM EDT
[#40]
Double Tap crap Internet disturbance in the force let the wookiee win bantha poodoo.
Link Posted: 4/20/2015 10:15:13 PM EDT
[#41]
I believe that Luke knew that Anakin Skywalker was his father but he was brought up believing that Anakin was dead.

What he didn't know was that Anakin was actually Darth Vader.
Link Posted: 4/20/2015 10:15:31 PM EDT
[#42]
Someone convince me to watch the Star Wars series. I've never watched a whole movie. Pretty sure I've watched about 1 hour of 1 part(don't remember which one) and that was it. Other than that, I've seen small bits and pieces of some of them.






Would it be best for me to start in the order they were produced or should I go in chronological order?
Link Posted: 4/20/2015 10:15:42 PM EDT
[#43]
Why is it that Lando has the same outfit as Han?
Link Posted: 4/20/2015 10:17:38 PM EDT
[#44]
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Someone convince me to watch the Star Wars series. I've never watched a whole movie. Pretty sure I've watched about 1 hour of 1 part(don't remember which one) and that was it. Other than that, I've seen small bits and pieces of some of them.



Would it be best for me to start in the order they were produced or should I go in chronological order?
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Machete order -

4,5,2,3,6

(I left 1 out on purpose.)
Link Posted: 4/20/2015 10:17:39 PM EDT
[#45]



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Why is it that Lando has the same outfit as Han?
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They shop in the same aisle at WalMartian?




 
Link Posted: 4/20/2015 10:19:20 PM EDT
[#46]
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Quoted:
Someone convince me to watch the Star Wars series. I've never watched a whole movie. Pretty sure I've watched about 1 hour of 1 part(don't remember which one) and that was it. Other than that, I've seen small bits and pieces of some of them.



Would it be best for me to start in the order they were produced or should I go in chronological order?
View Quote


Try the "Machete Order"

It goes 4, then 5, then 2 and 3, and finally 6.

The reason for this is that Episodes Two and Three are meant to serve as an extended flashback. Notice how I did not include 1? That is because the story has no use for it.

Believe it or not, it actually makes it more enjoyable to watch, as 2 and 3 will now better fit into the story.

ETA: Beat by 87 seconds, but here's a link: Machete Order
Link Posted: 4/20/2015 10:19:39 PM EDT
[#47]
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Why is it that Lando has the same outfit as Han?
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I thought about asking him that this weekend if I make it to the Bangor Comicon.  

I think they were Han's clothes.  He took Han's ship - and he had to change his clothes after all the running and battling.  You think that smooth motherfucker was going to wear sweaty old clothes around Princess fine as hell?  
Link Posted: 4/20/2015 10:22:20 PM EDT
[#48]
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Try the "Machete Order"

It goes 4, then 5, then 2 and 3, and finally 6.

The reason for this is that Episodes Two and Three are meant to serve as an extended flashback. Notice how I did not include 1? That is because the story has no use for it.

Believe it or not, it actually makes it more enjoyable to watch, as 2 and 3 will now better fit into the story.

ETA: Beat by 87 seconds, but here's a link: Machete Order
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Quoted:
Quoted:
Someone convince me to watch the Star Wars series. I've never watched a whole movie. Pretty sure I've watched about 1 hour of 1 part(don't remember which one) and that was it. Other than that, I've seen small bits and pieces of some of them.



Would it be best for me to start in the order they were produced or should I go in chronological order?


Try the "Machete Order"

It goes 4, then 5, then 2 and 3, and finally 6.

The reason for this is that Episodes Two and Three are meant to serve as an extended flashback. Notice how I did not include 1? That is because the story has no use for it.

Believe it or not, it actually makes it more enjoyable to watch, as 2 and 3 will now better fit into the story.

ETA: Beat by 87 seconds, but here's a link: Machete Order




It also preserves the surprise of Vader being Luke's father - if kids watch 1-6 in that order, they lose out on the big "HOLY COW" at the end of Empire.

Link Posted: 4/20/2015 10:24:30 PM EDT
[#49]
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You shut your whore mouth!

That there is female perfection.

http://www.starwars-union.de/bilder/lexikon/20070913PrinzessinLeia.jpg
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You shut your whore mouth!

That there is female perfection.

http://www.starwars-union.de/bilder/lexikon/20070913PrinzessinLeia.jpg


Seems that site was upset you tried to link their scheisse porn to here.
Link Posted: 4/20/2015 10:24:55 PM EDT
[#50]
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