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Posted: 10/17/2014 1:44:41 PM EDT
[#1]
Sounds like the crazy is about to stick it back in you.
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Posted: 10/17/2014 1:44:43 PM EDT
[#2]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Only have soft porn pics lol Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
where are the pics? Only have soft porn pics lol That'll work. 
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Posted: 10/17/2014 1:44:46 PM EDT
[#3]
damn...
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Posted: 10/17/2014 1:45:08 PM EDT
[#4]
dont ask to see a ultrasound, if she is halfway smart a generic one from google would work
tell her you scheduled her a ultrasound for next week time to put up or shutup my lady #1 rule of sex with new women is dont trust the woman dont trust her birth control dont trust the condom the condom leaves with you.... |
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Posted: 10/17/2014 1:45:10 PM EDT
[#5]
If your 3 week old baby has a heart rate of 62 you'd be getting get ready to fit him/her with a pint-sized hockey helmet.
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Posted: 10/17/2014 1:45:16 PM EDT
[#6]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
In Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
 In Apperantly, so was the OP. |
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Posted: 10/17/2014 1:45:19 PM EDT
[#7]
 Congrats, OP! I can tell you're going to be a wonderful dad. You're off to a great start.
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Posted: 10/17/2014 1:45:45 PM EDT
[#8]
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Posted: 10/17/2014 1:46:07 PM EDT
[#9]
Be sure to tell us when the episode of Maury Povich airs.
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Posted: 10/17/2014 1:46:30 PM EDT
[#10]
Quote HistoryQuoted: PM them to us? Quote HistoryQuoted: Quoted: Quoted: where are the pics? Only have soft porn pics lol PM them to us? Get those pics yet? |
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Posted: 10/17/2014 1:46:52 PM EDT
[#11]
Of all the money I've ever spent, the vasectomy I had in my early 20's was the one investment that has provided the greatest returns... OP, get a paternity test, deny everything, make counter-accusations... and buy some condoms FFS... |
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Posted: 10/17/2014 1:47:00 PM EDT
[#12]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
So, what you are saying is that this crazy bitch doesn't have a back suitable enough for you to have your seed die on, and you have no pictures? 
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Posted: 10/17/2014 1:47:06 PM EDT
[#13]
Quote HistoryI actually , you owe me a keyboard
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Posted: 10/17/2014 1:47:06 PM EDT
[#14]
They do make a baby gravy containment device.
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Posted: 10/17/2014 1:48:00 PM EDT
[#15]
Is this OP?
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Posted: 10/17/2014 1:48:30 PM EDT
[#16]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
They do make a baby gravy containment device. A Vagina? |
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Posted: 10/17/2014 1:48:31 PM EDT
[#17]
OP, may I suggest...................
my chirren loved it! 
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Posted: 10/17/2014 1:49:36 PM EDT
[#18]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Quote HistoryQuoted: Quoted: Quoted: Quoted: where are the pics? Only have soft porn pics lol PM them to us? Get those pics yet? Nope
 |
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Posted: 10/17/2014 1:50:58 PM EDT
[#19]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
A Vagina? Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
They do make a baby gravy containment device. A Vagina? I was thinking mouth but whatever |
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Posted: 10/17/2014 1:51:01 PM EDT
[#20]
 Is your other account ilikeporkchops?
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Posted: 10/17/2014 1:51:44 PM EDT
[#21]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Can't remember.... Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
You made a deposit?  Can't remember.... 
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Posted: 10/17/2014 1:52:21 PM EDT
[#22]
They count the number of weeks pregnant in a weird way. It's not the date of "conception" but when the mother had her last menstrual cycle, which could have been near the beginning of September. The heartbeat is detectable at this point.
ETA: She could actually be "six weeks" not the four weeks since your loving embrace. |
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Posted: 10/17/2014 1:52:29 PM EDT
[#23]
 |
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Posted: 10/17/2014 1:54:46 PM EDT
[#24]
This is why I now run far and fast from crazy girls.
Risk reward ain't there no more. |
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Posted: 10/17/2014 1:55:14 PM EDT
[#25]
Yer fucked.
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Posted: 10/17/2014 1:56:20 PM EDT
[#26]
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Posted: 10/17/2014 1:56:20 PM EDT
[#27]
You're so done |
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Posted: 10/17/2014 1:56:44 PM EDT
[#28]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Can't remember.... Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
You made a deposit? Can't remember.... If you're really luky you'll get Ebola and die.
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Posted: 10/17/2014 1:56:46 PM EDT
[#29]
Congrats OP. Guess you never saw this.
 |
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Posted: 10/17/2014 1:58:25 PM EDT
[#30]
the only " deposits" you should make to strange new girls... should be oral in nature.
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Posted: 10/17/2014 1:59:09 PM EDT
[#31]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Fucking the crazy is fine. Cumming inside her is not. That's why god created stinkholes Fuck that! Condoms!!!!!!! |
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Posted: 10/17/2014 2:01:01 PM EDT
[#32]
Claim you had a vasectomy .
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Posted: 10/17/2014 2:02:05 PM EDT
[#33]
Quote HistoryThat's a great ad!
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Posted: 10/17/2014 2:03:03 PM EDT
[#34]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
I did! Idk if all the cheeto powder was too abrasive 
Serious note I did. It just seems weird. Questioned me about why I wanted to see the ultrasound. Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
Whelp I couldn't resist and went ahead and porked a crazy girl. We did it the 21st of September and she is trying to tell me that the baby has a slow heart rate 62~ bpm I'm pretty sure this bitch is crazy and just wants attention. Is 4< weeks too soon to detect a heartbeat? You used PPE gear, right? I did! Idk if all the cheeto powder was too abrasive
Serious note I did. It just seems weird. Questioned me about why I wanted to see the ultrasound. Tell her to fuck off. 
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Posted: 10/17/2014 2:03:23 PM EDT
[#35]
that is why when I was single, I enjoyed fucking pregnant girls, cant get double pregnant
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Posted: 10/17/2014 2:06:05 PM EDT
[#36]
Quote History
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Posted: 10/17/2014 2:08:08 PM EDT
[#37]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
OP, may I suggest................... http://li.c-b.co/is/image/LandOfNod/3501651_GoodnightMoonBB_0308/$web_zoom$&wid=550&hei=550&/1308310657/goodnight-moon-board-bookby-margaret-wise-brown.jpg my chirren loved it! Holy shit, I can still recite that book! |
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Posted: 10/17/2014 2:09:21 PM EDT
[#38]
If I made a list of all stupid shit I like to watch people do to completely fuck up their lives, and believe me I do enjoy the schadenfreude as pertains to stupidity, this way would be at the very bottom of my list.
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Posted: 10/17/2014 2:09:22 PM EDT
[#39]
After reviewing the pics...
 Congrats daddy!
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Posted: 10/17/2014 2:12:04 PM EDT
[#40]
Heart rate is very low. It should be around 110 to 120 bpm. The heart starts beating around 3 weeks or so.
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Posted: 10/17/2014 2:15:40 PM EDT
[#41]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
After reviewing the pics... http://s2.quickmeme.com/img/2d/2db85a78ccdbcb45bd122315533ec8f0aec40ccd1b9b420fb9362d777ac2d28a.jpg Congrats daddy! I wanna see!! Pepper your angus OP. You's about to get fooked. |
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Posted: 10/17/2014 2:15:42 PM EDT
[#42]
Mother fucking amateurs, when will you listen!?
That ride ain't worth the pain. 
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Posted: 10/17/2014 2:15:59 PM EDT
[#43]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Welcome to fatherhood. Don't be a deadbeat shitbag. This! |
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Posted: 10/17/2014 2:16:10 PM EDT
[#44]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
After reviewing the pics... http://s2.quickmeme.com/img/2d/2db85a78ccdbcb45bd122315533ec8f0aec40ccd1b9b420fb9362d777ac2d28a.jpg Congrats daddy! You are now tasked with passing them on. |
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Posted: 10/17/2014 2:17:06 PM EDT
[#45]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
After reviewing the pics... http://s2.quickmeme.com/img/2d/2db85a78ccdbcb45bd122315533ec8f0aec40ccd1b9b420fb9362d777ac2d28a.jpg Congrats daddy! My PM box has some extra space 
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Posted: 10/17/2014 2:19:02 PM EDT
[#46]
Always wrap it
Before you tap it Unless you think In the stink! |
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Posted: 10/17/2014 2:20:04 PM EDT
[#47]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
After reviewing the pics... http://s2.quickmeme.com/img/2d/2db85a78ccdbcb45bd122315533ec8f0aec40ccd1b9b420fb9362d777ac2d28a.jpg Congrats daddy! Wolverine nipples ??? |
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Posted: 10/17/2014 2:20:24 PM EDT
[#48]
Play stupid games, win stupid babies.
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Posted: 10/17/2014 2:20:42 PM EDT
[#49]
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Posted: 10/17/2014 2:21:15 PM EDT
[#50]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
If I made a list of all stupid shit I like to watch people do to completely fuck up their lives, and believe me I do enjoy the schadenfreude as pertains to stupidity, this way would be at the very bottom of my list. Well put. Things become unfunny real quick when it involves someone else's life who has no say in it. |
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