My Grandma gave me "highlights" magazine until I was 20.

I also got some Mega-blocks once, I was so fucking pissed, Legos or nothing.

Rlly??!?

My wife and I got the same thing from her mom. Weirded us out.

A case of chef boy ar dee pizza sauce for Christmas.  

 
 

I gave one to my mom.

The tightwad bitch my grandfather married after my grandmother passed away never liked us.  It became a running joke to see who got the worst gift; the glow in the dark Wonder Woman light switch plate with the .50 cent clearance tag still on it that I received for my 16th birthday is considered the best. It beat out the Florida t-shirts with the greasy gear holes where they'd gotten caught in some sort of machine that we all received one year for Christmas.  It wouldn't have been so bad if she was that cheap with everyone, but her kids and grand kids got nice stuff; her two daughters and one of her sons got nice clean used cars at least once each, they got gold jewelry and home furnishing, one year her grand kids got video games, etc.  You could tell my grandfather wasn't happy about it but he never did anything about it (one of his few faults was that he wasn't assertive or argumentative).  Lots of stories there including some that exemplify families at their worst- her's of course.  

I know I've posted this before in one of the "Worst Christmas Gift" threads.
I got a dead puppy for Christmas one year. I wanted a Lab so bad because I loved my friend's Black Lab, so my parents decided to get me one for Christmas.
Well, that morning, minutes before I came downstairs to open presents , they tied a bow around it's neck and put it in a box.
When I opened it, the puppy was dead, it had chewed the bow off it's neck and choked to death on it.
My dad tried to revive him, but he was gone

Has she worn it out yet?

Wife and I received a complete set of The Muppets Show matching coffee cups as a wedding gift!

They are good for cutting gun case foam. Break that bitch out!

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Oh no!

Oh crap!

WTH!  

Your poor parents

I'm the worst gift giver of them all.  We're in tough times right now, and just had our 15th wedding anniversary.  I came down with the flu a couple days before and wasn't able to do a thing.  Not even a card.  I meant to make it up to her the following weekend, but she was so mad at me that it just didn't happen.  Feeling like shit now.  I put it back on her and asked what she had gotten me?  She said she threw it away.  

So you're fine with popping locks, but draw the line at party favors?

One Christmas, when I was 12, a aunt got me and 10yo cousin mechanical robots-this was the 70's, so it was metal and plastic, used 2 C batteries. it would "walk' forward a few step, it's chest would open, and "laser guns" (lights) would shoot. Repeat. WTF? we were both too old for that.

She and her husband only had child, a girl, so that may have been part of it.

Did security for a company that gave us turkeys for our holiday bonuses. I guess its better than nothing.

Recently received a battery operated ear wax remover "As seen on TV".  It's a gag gift from a niece and nephew, and the niece had to try it out.  It didn't work

Hughes Aircraft did this, a certificate for a Turkey up to $10.



 

Gave the ex a gold and diamond necklace for Christmas, I got a mechanical scale. I did finally get a SA XD45 one year. We split a month later.

Our coin club had a Christmas party and everyone was supposed to bring a coin related gift to swap under 15 bux.  You picked a gift from the pile.

I had given a nice 1995 proof set I had extras of and others were opening things like silver eagles (silver was about 10 bux an ounce back then)

I proceeded to open my gift and I was like "What the hell?". Some jerk in the group had given a damned DVD by Al Gore on Global warming.

 I should do that to my son.  He loves things that shoot or explode.

Similar story. Got ex girlfriend like $350 worth of Christmas presents. In return I got a sweet Disney shirt with "Grumpy" character on it like, yeah I wear this stuff What's best is the shirt didn't fit so I had to return it and order the correct size online to not make her feel bad. Well Disney check out didn't work right and I ended up buying my own Christmas present shirt that I didn't even want. I gave the gift card (credit) to her. And speaking about her reminds me, hope that bitch burns in hell.

axe body spray for my 40th birthday from my then girlfriend, who totally forgot my birthday... it was a huge disaster of a story anyway...

That's actually pretty cool.



 

Do tell

Growing up my dad worked night shift, I never saw him.  He was just the guy that yelled at me to clean my room, lol.  He was into guitars and that was it.  For my 15th birthday I begged for a three wheeler.  We lived in the country and everyone had one but me.  He tells me it is too dangerous for me.  So my birthday rolls around and my dad comes out with a rifle, no shit.  He wasn't into guns, it was completely out of the blue.  He never took me out to shoot it either.

when I turned 18 I moved three states away and left it at a friends house because I didn't know how the laws worked with guns.  I reclaimed it once I had turned thirty and finally shot the thing.  It's my favorite gun in the safe.

That's the worst gift you have recieved? What was the best?

My worst is a tie between one of those crockpot sized deep fryers for a birthday in my mid teens or the large box wrapped up for Christmas that turned out to be a combination printer, fax machine and scanner. Just what every kid wants.

At 15 years old and no one in the house caring about guns, it was really out of place.  It's no dead puppy I will admit.

Years ago for Christmas my EX GF gave me a down filled parka. Tried it on and it fit well , it was a honey. Put it on the sofa and her cat sprayed the inner lining. That was the end of that.
Same girl my birthday gave me Back Door access.
Man that wasn't good at all.
I had to listen to "If you really loved me you would not have done that".
For the next 2 years

A fucking Summer Sausage for Secret Santa at work...

Every occasion is an exercise in acting for me, my wife just doesn't get it.

Had an Aunt tape a quarter in a birthday card for my 18th birthday.  She was a bitch.  I sent it back and told her she needed it more than I did.  

Ex-wife gave me a VHS tape rewinder for Christmas one year.  I cherished it as much as I did her.

Have some relatives that give gifts that lead you to believe that they are just cleaning out their closets.

Had a gf give me a mix cd on valentines day.  One of the tracks was "cry me a river" by Justin Timberlake

I am a knife guy, but I say without reservation that electric knives ROCK for those things that they do well, such as cutting bread and carving meat.

 

Stereotypes exist for a reason.

Was dating a Jewish chick who happened to be a millionaire and learned about Hanukkah the hard way. I got her 4-5 things from Tiffany & Co. along with flowers, etc. She got me..... a Sharper Image $5 multitool. We lasted a few more months and that was it.

ha this is funny, I got a few white elephants

I got a white porcelain nativity set missing one of the figures,  at the time I was single, no kids, living in a shoe box and spent the holidays with my family so I didn't even decorate for Christmas.  I was looking at it, expecting one of my mother's "ooops, hide that, that's supposed to be for so and so".   She's pretty regular with forgetting what's in what box or labels fall off and she gets confused.  Nope, no mistake I guess, mom says "I thought that was a really nice set", me thinks it's ugly and just say thanks.  

Just last year, I got a heavy crystal vase or wine cooling thing, inscribed with 2000 on it.  I pretty much think this was a cleaning out the closet gift.    My mom is a shop a holic and I think she was just cleaning out the house before selling it.  

I love my mom but I can't say I've gotten a cool gift in over a decade.  As such I tell her just save your money and if you need to give me a gift some socks, underwear and some wrangler blue jeans or a flannel shirt is more than enough.  I'm the outdoor guy and my brother is the family guy, I get the nativity set and my brother gets a petromax lantern and cast iron camp cookware set.

In the last few years she's really goofed up the clothes, XXLong when I'm 5'3" or just some plain old hideous shirt with zipper off hoodie.  I was wondering if she was mad at me for something as the trend had been going on a few years.  Meanwhile I have been spending on nice stuff,  pricey home appliances she wanted, TV's, DVD players, etc.    

Now my mom is up in years so I pretty much get whatever she can find in a catalog.  Lets just say I recognize the Sportsman guide stuff.  She has a quantity over quality approach.

enough about my mom

family exchanged names a few years ago.  My sister had a failing shop that sold crafts, antiques on consignment.   She closed up the shop and for years after she'd give out some of the old inventory.  One year was a giant chinese watch, or more correctly a broken chinese watch, well it was right 2x a day.    Another year she drew me again.  More inventory gifts; cloisoned chinese decorations that she called Christmas ornaments.  She's still gifting those a decade later.   I had to stand in at her wedding when her husband to be's best man didn't (bother) to get a passport to come to the US.   I got the please help us out and do it, when I clearly didn't want to due to having a painful health issue at the time, was told to plan a bachelor party in area I lived 5 hour away from for a guy I've met once.   That went off passably.  My best man gift was the lavender cummerbund I had to wear in the wedding and the hideous cheap glass tie tack.    On top of that they were supposed to pay for the tux rental and true to form did not.  Same kind of people that short their part of the bill going out to dinner.

from a coworker or more correctly his wife;  I got a Pam Anderson mouse pad with large boobs.  OK, that was a funny gift not a bad gift.  She said I could rub them all I want.  

 

Or you could order a large fru fru coffee with it and accidentally knock it over on the counter and have them make you another one and walk out without it when you "suddenly realize" you're carry and wish to immediately comply with their policy. (Run on sentence deliberate.)

Request "no hands, lights out."
Jeebus Klist you guys fail at making the best of a bad situation!

You got paid for all those hours right ? I wouldn't be complaining. I don't see where a bonus is required if you got the pay you agreed to work for.

Man, fucking with fast food workers over a corporate policy they don't control?  Your such a badass

Get off your high horse. Funning around in a funning kinda thread. As to bad ass, You never really know, do you? Careful what you wish for.

High horse?  I didn't know that NOT fucking with low wage employees for something that isn't their fault was a holier than thou attitude.  Always thought it was just common decency.

my bad, don't want to awaken your inner internet commando

that is....kind of creepy looking.

I give all my buddies the 5 dollar toaster from walmart as a wedding gift...... It started as a prank when one of my buddies got married and a bunch of us got him toasters.

Yep...same exact thing from my daughter....sits on my reloading bench too.