I don't know if it is the same everywhere, but I am kind of getting tired of all the whiney bitching in my local youth football league, much of it coming from the other teams coaches.  I have helped coach in the league for the last 10 years, It used to be a great league, but lately it seems to be getting unbearable.  

I currently have 3 boys playing on different teams.  Two on flag teams, and one playing his first year of tackle.  

Last Saturday my 5 year olds team won the game 35-12.  My son is the star running back and has scored every time he has got the ball this season except once.  He had already ran three 60+ yard touchdown runs that day, and the head coach at that point began giving it to other kids to not run up the score even more.  We were up 28-12 and got the ball back with about 20 seconds left. Trying to be sportsmanlike, we told the ref and other coaches we were going to take a knee to end the game.  The opposing teams coach essentially called us pussies for not being man enough to try and run it.(hoping we would fumble)  We said fine, if that's what you want.  So the coach had my son run it again and scored on the next play, to run out the clock.  

After the game, the three coaches from the other team walked across the field to our sideline and proceeded to tell us how dirty of a team we were and how terrible of players we were teaching our kids to be.  They complained how our kids were grabbing their kids necks and one kid had a scratch.  They bitched about how on one play, one of our coaches in an effort to help,  slightly moved one of their players who was lined up offsides back to where he should be, in an effort to help them avoid a penalty.  Then they bitched about how we ran up the score on them.  Then they demanded to see the birth certificate of one of the bigger players on our team.  Then the lady coach who was with them went off on how that big kid was pushing one of the smaller kids on their team in the chest all game long.  I had been pretty silent to that point, but lost it after hearing her say that.  I essentially told her, " That is football lady. It's called blocking. That is what you are supposed to do.  If you prefer, We can teach our kids to hit them in the nuts or just smack them in the head.  If you or your kids are too big of pussies to handle being blocked, you shouldn't be playing the game.  Have them go play soccer or something."  at that point, our teams coaches said we are done with this BS and turned and walked away.  They started saying how they were going to take it to the league president.  We told them go ahead.  We then saw them go over and start taking multiple photos of the 1/2 inch scratch on one of their players necks saying how it was going to be evidence.

I guess the pussification of America continues.  There are two teams in the league that are mostly filled with the FSA type, and they are the main two teams where all the bitching occurs.  I guess they want their wins handed to them.  Their whining during the game was so bad,  the ref just let the clock run instead of stopping it when he should, because he was tired of hearing it.

The part that really ticked us off was after watching the game film a parent made,  Their players were the ones who more often grabbed our kids throats, or had players that picked up our smaller kids and threw them down.  There were even several times their coaches touched or moved our players.

Working with the kids is great, and that's why I continue to do it.  It's dealing with the retarded adults that drives me insane.

I saw a game of 54-12 this weekend and... it. was. awesome.

I'm into my 3rd year.  There a couple of coaches that are a pain to deal with, but not any different then the retards I have to deal with at work.

Our biggest problem is a couple of lazy kids and their parents that feel we are not motivating them properly and giving them enough playing time.

Don't know what to tell you.  The fact that the other team scored 2 TD's in a game where YOU DON'T KEEP SCORE, says they at least scored.
But I will tell you, and any other Tiny Mite parents the same thing... coming from a parent of a 19 y/o Marine who played Pop Warner and went on to High School varsity as a sophmore, and I now have a almost 7 y/o playing his 1st year:  Relax!  They are kindergarteners and 1st graders.  They still like stuffed animals, play innocently with Legos and believe in Santa Clause.
Enjoy the fact they are having fun playing the game in uniform, win or loose.  I'm sure you and other parents got mouthy during the tense moments.  Before you know it they will be in HS and turn in to teenage assholes.  That I can guarantee.
Please remind the coaches, the parents and yourself, they are not playing in the NFL.  
Set the example and if you see a coach get out of hand take it to the committee.  And if a parent gets out of hand remind them that if this causes the team to forfeit they will have a problem with you.
Two weeks ago (2nd game of the season) my wife witnessed a parent in the pee wee league go way out of bounds and used racial slurs against the coach  to the point they called the cops.  He left but you can tell he was using language and posture that would have had a lesser person get in to a fight.  It was video'd all right and he was permanently barred from all future games and practices for life.
Teach your kids how to earn their position in the team and be part of the team.  Remember, your star running back kid can't make TD's w/o the rest of the team.  I can immediately recognize the pop warner parents in high school games and thanks to Facebook, Marine Corp boot camp parents page.  Those parents are usually not that helpful at that point.  Ask any HS level football coach about pop warner "parents".





ETA: My sons team played  3 games in which the other team have yet to score.  The last game OUR side looked bad because our coaches were playing the same kids more often and OUR parents were getting vocal when the refs started to do things where the other team scored one TD,  We were up by 5 TD's (if we had kept score) and I had to go around and ask these parents to keep calm and realize it's a Tiny Mite game.  That their kid will care less about that one TD.  I'm more than satisfied how the coaches do toughen up our kids, so I'm not seeing the Pussification at all.  Let them be kids.





On the flip side teach also them to be gentlemen with honor (professional).  Like I mentioned above, they will be ass holes before you know it.





And don't worry, when they realize what the world is like, their assholeness tend to subside.



 

There's your problem. Your little Bobby is just the best a a perfect little star and can do no wrong.

It's in every kid sport.  Parents are the problem with sports (and school) not the kids.

OP don't sweat idiotic posts like this one. There will always be jealous people in life that can't stand for others to excel.

This is the problem.  And I'm positive the other team coach's son is also their star player.





My sons Tiny Mite team of 22 players has SEVEN coaching staff, plus a team mom.  My HS varsity team of around 35 players in the 80's had 3 coaches and a manager (student).
 

What are you talking about?  I am one of the main people telling the coach to run other people.  He is in charge of the offense and calls the plays.  Last year my boy played line and he and I were fine with it.  I would have been fine if he played line this year.  The offense coach wanted to try him at running back and he did well.  So what's the problem ?

The problem is as a coaching staff and a parent of a player there is a conflict of interest. You are way too emotionally vested in a game.
I will guarantee that is the same on all pop warner/youth sports.  The coach's kid are always the most played players.
But once they hit high school, ohhhh man!  Much worse is the attitudes of the kids who were brought up as such.  Nevermind that 99% of all teens in HS are assholes to begin with.



Yeah, they may be good players but their attitude suck and have the lousiest sportsmanship manner.  This usually doesn't end well.
It's usually the players who's parents weren't their coaches, or defacto managers, who did well.  They learn at an early age to have the hunger and play harder to earn their spot in the team.
I know if the youth sport leagues made it a rule for parents not to coach, they'd have no coaches.


 

Step on their Swedish sandals then kick them in the inseam of their madras shorts

They do keep score.  We did not used to, and I was fine with that.  It was because of the whining of some of the teams that they started keeping score.

Everything you mentioned is what we try and teach our kids and parents.  We tried to emphasize to the opposing coaches that they are 4 and 5 year olds and they were taking it way to seriously.  

We try and make it fun for the kids.  I tell the offense coach to limit my son's carries. I was not trying to brag about him, but to tell the story of how the coach used him because the other coach was being a dick about us trying to  take a knee.  As I said, I would be fine with him on the line.  He would too.  He enjoys carrying the ball, but has just as much fun when we have him on the line blocking.   We try and work every kid on the team to the running back at some point during the game.  Sometimes they run the wrong direction.  That is what makes it fun.    

What really ticked me off about the other coaches was that they were stoking the fire under their players parents.  Many of the players are playing for the first time, and when a Mom sees her little Timmy get pushed down during a block,  they complain to the coach how rough and dirty the other team is. Instead of explaining to the parent that that is what happens in football, they fuel the fire by saying "yes they are, and we are going to talk to them afterwards about it".  

We do try and set a good example, and let the parents know what to expect.  

That is why I let a different coach work with my son.  I work with the defense where he plays very little.  I have 2 older boys that I helped coach and I know how easy it is to get to involved, and possibly "favor" them.  I wasn't going to coach this year due to time constraints, but was begged by the head coach to help because no one else would step up.  I let him make the decisions who plays where and have not pushed once for my boy to run it more, but to let all the kids have a chance.

It would be nice if we could have teams without parent coaches,  but it is not going to happen.  I would love to be able just to sit on the sideline and watch for once.

Youth football coach here. There's always going to be shitheads among the parents/coaches that you have to deal with. I'm in an inner city league, the ONLY white coach in the organization...ask me what kind of problems I've had.

Idiots can get in our way in ANY situation, youth football is obviously no exception. Don't let them knock you off course, they're not worth it.

I used to help coach youth baseball back in the early 2000's and encountered all kinds of crap. It goes with the game unfortunately. I finally decided I had enough. We had a kid who was a really good hitter, but wasnt the best fielder in the world. We worked with him, and he showed alot of progress toward the end of the season. Come All Stars time, we lobbied hard to have him included on the team, because of his hitting ability. The other coaches didnt vote for him ( only the head coach got a vote) and he didnt make it. His parents began going around to other parents starting a bad mouthing campaign because they felt we prevented him from getting on the team. Some of the other coaches were just as bad

I have been coaching (dad coach) in an all girls soccer club for 10 years.  Right now I have a group of 10 year olds.  It is a great way to get to know your kids and their peers. I have had very few problems with other coaches or parents, little stuff like not playing a kid enough or playing them is a position other than the one the parent wants.

This weekend was fun. A girl on the opposing team got smashed in the face, which produced a gushing nose-bleed. She was a good sport about it, no crying. She was laughing at all the blood, even going so far as put huge streaks of blood on her cheeks and forehead before returning to the field.

In the second half one of my players took an elbow to the face, another gusher.  She took her cue from the other girl. No crying, put on her "war-paint" and got back to business. Our team has white uniforms, and hers was covered in blood from collar to waist. She looked like an absolute horror show. The kids loved it. The parents were not as amused.

If you have a chance to coach youth sports, even if you're not a sports guy, DO IT.

TL,DR

We said we'd never do travel ball.
After 6 years of rec ball, we and some like minded parents have formed our own travel team.
Putting up with the rec league  bullshit got old.

I was a volunteer (i.e. I didn't get paid, and didn't have a child on the team) coach youth football for 6 years right after I graduated from college.  I loved coaching the kids, but hated dealing with the parents and opposing coaches.  

I had a few simple rules for my teams:

1)  We play to win, and win with class and sportsmanship (no trash talking, no taunting, and help up the other team when we knock them down).
2)  No back talk, no smarting off, etc. to any coach on either team, or any official.
3)  If a parent had a concern about playing time or position their child was playing, they were welcome to come to practics and review what myself and the coaching staff saw at practice, and then we'd discus.


I never had a problem with #1 or #2.  My kids were great and we were able to go 24-6 in those years (5 games per season) including a couple undefeated seasons and leage championships.

I had a few parents challenge me on #3, but never had any of them take me up on my offer to come and watch practice to see what I saw in practice.  They were always too busy, or had other stuff to do, which is fine since in today's world we're all busy.


The worst was the other coaches.  We had a similar game to what the OP mentioned.  We were leading big, and we started trying to run some plays that would take more time to develop and use more clock, and allow some kids to carry the football that otherwise didn't get as many touches.  But try as we might we were still able to score almost every time.  It was a tough situation...I realized that for the good of all the kids on the field that a complete butt kicking could discourage some of the kids from playing in the future, and since we were trying to prepare them for high school ball, we needed to keep them interested.   On theother hand, I couldn't ask my players to slack off or play 1/2 speed either.


After our last touchdown, the opposing coach ran across the field, while the game was still in play and confronted me and told me that I needed to call my guys off and stop rubbing it in.  I told him in a not so calm manner "My job is to each my team how to play to win...and it is your job to teach your kids how to play to win."   Telling them to back off is not teaching them how to win, and isn't doing anyone any favors.


Our society has started putting more value on making sure everyone is recognized for showing up, rather than recognizing achievement.

This is why I don't coach my boys' teams.

I was asked to coach line in a 12-13 yo league since I played in college (I didn't have kids on the team). Didn't have to call plays on game day, just had to make sure the O line was blocking and the D line was in the right gaps. Easy Peasy. so with the rest of my time I got to be the jerk of a coach on the sideline that yelled the whole time. I mean I yelled the entire game. If we were up 21 and kicking off I was screaming that "we're gonna get the onside"... I constantly screamed. Didn't matter what we were doing. The only rules were I could only address my own players with positive reinforcement and no cursing. The effect of that was that the other teams players affect got flat quickly. The other teams coaches were more worried about the other coach going nuts, and the other teams parents (as I was told by our head coach) were too scared to approach him for the first time in his youth coaching career. Our teams parents were concerned at first, but soon were persuaded by a winning record. The point is that youth coaching is a head game. Approach the other team like your whipping boys. It will build your own teams moral on the crushed hopes and dreams of others.

This may come as a shock to you, but the kids playing on a "Tiny Mite" team are going to require MUCH more supervision than HS aged kids.

To the OP: I also help coach a youth football team.  If I've learned one thing, it's this: THERE WILL BE DRAMA! You just have to keep the part in red above in mind.

Ah youth football coaches. AKA:  High-school quarterbacks that never left.

I coached little league baseball for 8 years. The kids were great, the parents not so much.

I umpired too becuase we didn't have enough. Want to see some apeshit parents, try officiating!

There is literally nothing like youth sports to bring out the raging asshole in otherwise semi-normal people.

 

During a 1st grade, yes 6 year olds playing, basketball game, I witnessed the following.

A little boy was running down the court, he ran into and knocked down a little girl on the other team, YES it is co-ed teams.

coach is off the bench screaming at the officials and the other coach about the incident.   All gets settled down.

About 20 mins later, same two kids are running down the court, and run into each other.  The girl falls down and starts crying.

The coach runs out on the court once again screaming.   Referee tells her to sit down. Yes it is a woman coach.  

She then walks over to the bench, picks up a folding chair and throws it at the ref. hitting him in the back of the head.

You might say she got escorted from the building.

We did have one good ref last year and I wish he was back, but I think he got tired of the crap.  

There were several games last year where if the coaches or parents started yelling, cussing, or getting out of hand,  he would stop the game remind them of the kids that are present, and tell them if he heard another negative word from either side (parents or coaches) they would be gone.   A few games he did eject people after the warning.  A couple times cops needed to be called to escort people away that wouldn't leave.  Usually after that the games were under control.

I understand these kids were a little older, but you sound like an asshole and a big problem for everyone else involved.

Asshole parents have ruined it.  They drive away most of the good coaches and officials and you're left with the clusterfuck we have now.  It's a shame because in the end, it's the kids that miss out.

Because what if your kid was the one "scratching" and doing what the other guy said  You would never believe it because he's your "star" play and the apple of your eye.   Conflict of interest.

No, at least in my experiences, the coaches chew their own kids out for unsportsmanlike behavior more then the other kids.  I know all the coaches I work with would have no problem telling their own kid they are done for the day and sit on the bench, if they act unsportsmanlike.  We have done it before.  

I actually watched the game film almost frame by frame to see if I could see any of the "dirty" stuff they were talking about, so if there was something, we could talk to that specific player about it.  There was nothing obviously dirty that we could see.  Both sides were using the same blocking methods.  Both sides were playing like 4 or 5 year olds typically would.  I felt like printing out screenshots of their players with their hands around our kids necks, their player throwing our player, and their coaches touching our players, and giving them to the opposing coaches next time I see them.   Maybe it would shut them up,  but probably not.

Game film on 4 and 5 year olds?  I think you just explained your own problem.

Yes, a parent with a good video camera records the games at the request of the other parents, and makes copies for them to have.  

We don't do it for coaching purposes.  The parent heard the complaints that we were being accused of and offered us a copy to see if their was any legitimacy to their claims.

I'm concerned about my son's high school team.

And it's not the parents or opposing players.  It's the coaches.

Week before last, we recover a fumble. 1st and 10 inside the opponents 40.  2:30 left in the 4th.  By some miracle, up by one score. Just bleed the clock out and head for the bus with the win.

1st down: pass incomplete, clock stops.
2nd down: pass incomplete, clock stops.
3rd down: quarterback keeps, gain of 6.
4th down: pass incomplete, clock stops.

Turnover on downs.

Total time run: 28 seconds, opponent 1st and 10 at their 34 with 2:02 left.

We very nearly lost that one. Had they been competent, they could have scored easily.

Last Friday, we ran  6 plays with only 10 men on the field.  On BOTH sides of the ball. When we wouldn't get called for the penalty, we'd miss a block on offense or completely fail to cover a man on defense.  

It's bad when your own fans are having to point out the mistakes that the coaches are making. What's worse is when they believe they know better and ignore it, which they basically did until one parent yelled for the head coach to tell the booth coach to get his head out of his ass. I agreed with the sentiment, if not the method of delivery.

What he didn't realize was that the booth coach had already left the booth and had come to the sideline for the last few minutes of the 4th quarter. He heard the guy, turned around and a shouting match ensued.

Man.  Embarrassing.

If I could afford it, I'd move one county over just so my son wouldn't have to play FB here.

Her name was Bobbi Knight?

Unbelievably true.  A girl two classes above me in high school was a phenomenal player, no questions asked free ride to college skill level.  However, her dad was such a fucking raging psycho on the sidelines that she couldn't handle it anymore, and dropped out of the sport.  It's sad because she would have been good enough to have been selected for the women's world cup team, she was was in the same development programs as several of the women's world cup team members that won the whole thing in 1999.  All that gone because her dad was too much of an asshole to contain himself on the sidelines.

Boy, reading this thread sure does shine a light on the parents of the lazy kids that don't want to excell.

Thats the point. If you take a bunch of flack from people then you will get more of it. As far as being a problem, I was asked to coach again the next year by coaches and many parents but was unable to, due to work. So I guess not everyone thought i was a problem.

I hate some of my son's midget football fans.  Shitty fucking people that should never be allowed to attend a game.

I didn't say you were a a problem; I said you sounded like a big problem.  I'm guessing your story isn't an accurate representation of your coaching if you got asked back.

I concede the internet is a damned close second.

I had my suspicions until the soccer comment.  That's when your true colors were confirmed.  You are exactly what you dislike about the other coaches.

HS, Rep Side, and Olympic Athlete coach here (IRB Level Three).

I think coaches should learn how to coach.  That's a problem with many football leagues, even up into high school. Most are ex players that often motivate by manipulation, intimidation, and lots of yelling or humiliation (all of which were covered by your description).  Usually this is learned behavior from their former coaches.  None of that is teaching those kids to be a true athlete or a productive member of a team.  

Think about that next time you start complaining, putting down others, or raising your voice to your opponents.  Are your sons learning about being a great athlete or be like dad and the other coaches that yell at other adults and the kids on the field?

Good youth leagues/programs are coached by people who don't have kids on the same team they coach.

I coach 8-9 year olds in tackle football.  I have some stories but I figure a parent or two are arfcom members.  The "My Baby di'int do nuffin" and "My son is the best there is, he needs to carry the ball every time and play every snap" is the hardest to deal with.  My kids are athletic as hell but total dingbats, all go, go, go, no think, think, think....

It's fun though, I definitely dig it and try to keep it positive and fun for me and the kids.

I coached youth football for nine years.  I didn't have kids on the team.  I have some good stories, but it would be TLDR here.

13ers

Tell them to stop being whiny cunts. Verbatim.

I sincerely hope you didn't say this in front of little kids. Regardless of how stupid the coaches were, calling their kids pussies isn't exactly the kind of thing an adult should be doing, especially a coach.

On my middle school team there was a dad that flat out said his kid should carry the ball everytime. The coach obliged and little jonny got every ball. EVERY BALL. That is until the other team figured it out and just started laying the kid out. After the 3rd set of downs the dad was practically crying to get the coach let up. The kid went home at half time.