TLDR crowd: You're fucked.

Background:
Pet dag: Neutered male German Shepherd/Black Lab mix, about 50 pounds. Well-behaved, everyone comments on his good manners, heels and follows voice commands consistently.
Docile and submissive, a bit of a wuss really, but looks like Satan. Panicked and fled once upon being charged by six fluffy weeks-old puppies. I don't even let him bark at anyone when
we're outside.

Neighbor lady. Allegedly participates in weightlifting/crossfit but has large, flabby ass and shuffles around bent over like a granny. Regularly drunk.Terrified of pet dag.
Frequently screams at me from her porch that pet dag is aggressive and needs to be on a leash in his own yard "because it's the law." (It's not)

Leash law: Ordinance stating dogs at large are illegal and will be impounded/owners charged and fined. No leash law for my village has been produced at my request
by crazy neighbor lady OR deputies I've spoken to. Deputies have only said that law requires dogs to be under owner's control.

Neighbor lady's chihuahua that is permitted (by her) to make deposits in my lawn and others. Is an impetuous little Chihuahua, likes to stand in street and bark at me.
Tolerate Chihuahua because it is after all, only a brainless dag.

SITUATION:
Crazy neighbor lady shuffled over to my house a few days ago and told husband that pet dag killed her chihuahua.

Husband told crazy neighbor lady she was drunk and to get lost. Pet dag is never outside unless under direct supervision of myself or family members.

It has been three days since the murder allegations and I have not seen crazy neighbor lady. I have also not seen the Chihuahua.
I am now afraid to put pet dag out on his chain in back yard (he's an inside dog but sometimes gets put out there for periods of time we may be absent).
I think about how easy it would be for her to try to hurt him when we're not home. :(  Cameras would only record it, not prevent it. I guess I can't let him outside by
himself on his chain anymore.

I hope crazy neighbor lady drinks herself into oblivion soon.

Boring, sorry OP.

You can help, buy her a case or two.

Yeah, drunk crazy ladies ARE boring. And it IS boring...now. But I predict future interaction, possibly less boring.
I was hoping GD would have lively input on how they would handle it. They usually do.

Thread's worthless without pictures.

Posted Via AR15.Com Mobile

I know, I'm a big bucket o' fail when it comes to posting pics. I managed to do it... once. Can't remember how. And I would need to get pics.
I have pics of pet dag but not manatee. You've heard of porch monkeys (RIP) but this is a porch manatee. If things progress I could try to post pics, I guess.

Is English not your first language?

This needs to become a pictorial account of drunk neighbor lady's shenanigans. You must do this now, the GD gods demand it.

Posted Via AR15.Com Mobile

First you say:


Than you say:

I'm trying to masturbate to this thread, but it's turning out to be dildos.

You're masturbating dildos? You're doing it wrong...

Posted Via AR15.Com Mobile

Pics would make this story much mo better.

I hope your dag is safe.

Can we at least get a MSpaint?

Intent was to convey dog is never at large, point being that Chihuahua would have had to be at large in MY yard to get killed. Good catch.

Frustrating, damn it. If I could post MS paint presumably I could post pics. Gimme a couple days and I'll try to see what I can do. I suck at this.

 

Why are people still referring to their dogs as dags? You've seen Snatch, we all get it.

The high test grade.

Is that where its came from?  I thought it was just retarded GD slang...  

Stop harshing my groove, man. I never saw Snatch. I just like the slang. I don't care if it's old. I like old. Like Classic Rock.

Sorry OP, I too have a crazy neighbor lady who, when I brought my GSD home called her insurance company, the town, and wanted my homeowners insurance company so she could report that I had a GSD.

GD will forgive you for not posting pics.  I cannot.

Says you!

Brought this to mind from years ago

needs more blading at 45 or fruit plates   6/10

Yup. And it is retarded GD slang.

Perhaps you haven't seen my user title. Buzz Killington.

Ask her if she likes tacos de chihuahua.

Your dog probably Did kill the Chihuahua when it came over to crap in your yard.

Not your fault.

Sounds like a good chi-chi kill to me, but we will need pics of neighbor lady drunk and passed out with about 400lbs. of barbells crushing her larynx to give necessary advice.

Build a miniature catapult and start lobbing dog logs into her back yard when she's plastered .

Get a recording of a chihuahua barking and play it in the middle of the night ...really loud....

Oooooohh, that's just fucking evil.

I
'll IM you my email address send pics to me I'll post them up.

Meh. Everyone is a little crazy.

Your dog killed her Chihuahua didn't it?

In communist russia dildos masturbate you,

I was old when Classic Rock first came out.... Want me to bring my Shepards over? Hades and Ares, ?

and the proper response to here would be "FUCK YOU BITCH and if ANYTHING I MEAN ANYTHING happens to my dog I'm holding you YOU responsible."

is this in Flur a durh?

Buy crazy drunk lady more booze to speed along the end.

Drunks fall down a lot.

Find an old three wheel ATV that still runs and leave it (anonymously) on neighbor's porch with the keys and a nice gift card. Watch while she wrecks herself.

She probably tripped and fell over the chihuahua, killing them both. Let us know when it begins to smell.