I just had an exorcism take place in my driveway. NO S**t

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[ARCHIVED THREAD] - I just had an exorcism take place in my driveway. NO S**t (Page 1 of 4)

Posted: 9/2/2014 9:25:35 PM EDT

I was in the house on the computer. All of the sudden I hear screams and howls. I actually thought it was coyotes killing another cat. I grab the AR and head outside. Once outside I hear more screams and now crying. I have a 3/10th of a mile long driveway and it splits. One side goes to my house. The other side to another house and my only neighbor. As I approach the split in the driveway, I hear a woman crying and hear 2 other people saying "stop fighting it and let it go". I proceed up the driveway in super sneaky Ninja team 6 mode with weapon at ready. Once I was close enough with good cover and the high ground I turned on my weapons light and see 2 white women and 1 black girl. The black girl is crying and bent over. The older white woman is holding a bible and preaching something. The younger white woman (daughter) turns and approaches my direction slowly. I tell her to stop where she is and I asked what they are doing to her and who they are. I call out and ask the black girl if she is ok or needs help. Turns out they are my neighbors and the black girl is the step daughter that just came home and has been battling "demons". The whole time the older white woman does not stop chanting or preaching or whatever she was doing. I speak to the younger white girl (she was hot by the way) and make sure all is good then I retreat back to the house.

Do I need to move. Will they burn my house down tonight to pay respects to Groul the Destroyer. Should I fap since it is my last night. I am weirded out now.

Posted: 9/2/2014 9:26:43 PM EDT

[#1]

There is no Dana, only Zuul.

Posted Via AR15.Com Mobile

Posted: 9/2/2014 9:26:54 PM EDT

[#2]

Where in SC?

Posted: 9/2/2014 9:26:56 PM EDT

[#3]

Did her head spin around?

Pics of hot chick needed to confirm guilty/not guilty status.

Posted: 9/2/2014 9:27:39 PM EDT

[#4]

Watch the skeleton Key and glimpse your future

Posted: 9/2/2014 9:27:49 PM EDT

[#5]

You're screwed

The demons enter the nearest weak soul

Dibs

Posted: 9/2/2014 9:27:57 PM EDT

[#6]

so your saying that in all the drama no shit came out of her like in your title... is that what your saying?

Posted: 9/2/2014 9:27:59 PM EDT

[#7]

Quote History

Quoted:
There is no Dana, only Zuul.

Posted Via AR15.Com Mobile

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Are you the Keymaster?

Posted: 9/2/2014 9:30:47 PM EDT

[#8]

Quote History

Quoted:

Are you the Keymaster?

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Quoted:

Quoted:
There is no Dana, only Zuul.

Posted Via AR15.Com Mobile

Are you the Keymaster?

Human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together, mass hysteria!

Posted: 9/2/2014 9:31:07 PM EDT

[#9]

Seemed legit to you, huh?

Posted: 9/2/2014 9:31:09 PM EDT

[#10]

Quote History

Quoted:

Are you the Keymaster?

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Quoted:

Quoted:
There is no Dana, only Zuul.

Posted Via AR15.Com Mobile

Are you the Keymaster?

I am the gatekeeper.

Posted: 9/2/2014 9:31:26 PM EDT

[#11]

Quote History

Quoted:
Watch the skeleton Key and glimpse your future

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Damn you to hell. That is the exact movie I was thinking about when this went down

Posted: 9/2/2014 9:31:35 PM EDT

[#12]

I'd hit it, then move.

Posted: 9/2/2014 9:31:51 PM EDT

[#13]

No pics???? Damn it son we have camera phones these days for shit like this!

Posted: 9/2/2014 9:32:46 PM EDT

[#14]

Quote History

Quoted:
Did her head spin around?

Pics of hot chick needed to confirm guilty/not guilty status.

View Quote

Hot chick was not guilty for sure

Posted: 9/2/2014 9:33:43 PM EDT

[#15]

The Mesopotamian wind demon, Pazuzu, shall be upon you!

Posted: 9/2/2014 9:33:46 PM EDT

[#16]

Quote History

Quoted:
so your saying that in all the drama no shit came out of her like in your title... is that what your saying?

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She did some puking, spitting type stuff. I did not investigate it for demons

Posted: 9/2/2014 9:34:44 PM EDT

[#17]

Quote History

Quoted:
The Mesopotamian wind demon, Pazuzu, shall be upon you!

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Was that the one in the exorcist book?

Posted: 9/2/2014 9:35:18 PM EDT

[#18]

Quote History

Quoted:
Where in SC?

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Not sure if I should say. The Pope and Catholic Church may send slayers. I do not want to get in the cross fire

Posted: 9/2/2014 9:36:07 PM EDT

[#19]

Quote History

Quoted:
There is no Dana, only Zuul.

Posted Via AR15.Com Mobile

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Many shubs and zuuls were roasted in the belly of the Sloar that day, I'll tell you.

Posted: 9/2/2014 9:37:27 PM EDT

[#20]

Quote History

Quoted:

Was that the one in the exorcist book?

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Quoted:

Quoted:
The Mesopotamian wind demon, Pazuzu, shall be upon you!

Was that the one in the exorcist book?

Yes.

Posted: 9/2/2014 9:37:35 PM EDT

[#21]

Quote History

Quoted:

Not sure if I should say. The Pope and Catholic Church may send slayers. I do not want to get in the cross fire

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Quoted:

Quoted:
Where in SC?

Not sure if I should say. The Pope and Catholic Church may send slayers. I do not want to get in the cross fire

Oh, come on.... Inquiring minds want to know!

Posted: 9/2/2014 9:38:09 PM EDT

[#22]

This kinda shit never happens to me. The life I've led has been a boring disappointment compared to some of you fuckers.

Posted: 9/2/2014 9:39:19 PM EDT

[#23]

Quote History

Quoted:
This kinda shit never happens to me. The life I've led has been a boring disappointment compared to some of you fuckers.

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Me too

Posted: 9/2/2014 9:39:46 PM EDT

[#24]

Quote History

Quoted:

Damn you to hell. That is the exact movie I was thinking about when this went down

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Quote History

Quoted:

Quoted:
Watch the skeleton Key and glimpse your future

Damn you to hell. That is the exact movie I was thinking about when this went down

DUH DUH DUH....they weren't exorcizing anything, they were scouting you out and assessing your readiness. You saw the three of them, you didn't see the other 84 that were in the trees.

Dude, stock up on silver bullets, holy water and wooden spikes. They are going to eat your soul.

Posted: 9/2/2014 9:39:47 PM EDT

[#25]

Show up at their doorstep tomorrow with a Ouji board and a bottle of tequila.

Posted: 9/2/2014 9:39:50 PM EDT

[#26]

The proper response would have been to run out naked, eating a chocolate chip cookie, and do a mag dump into the air before blading at 45 degrees.

We need to see a photo of the driveway too.

If it's over the curb, a bit of crushed rock about ten feet long that's not a driveway.

Posted: 9/2/2014 9:39:50 PM EDT

[#27]

Csb

Posted: 9/2/2014 9:40:08 PM EDT

[#28]

Quote History

Quoted:
This kinda shit never happens to me. The life I've led has been a boring disappointment compared to some of you fuckers.

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My day has been crappy. This just made it freakier and now the dags are hiding in the blankets. They can feel the overlord coming for us. All joking aside that was some weird stuff

Posted: 9/2/2014 9:40:21 PM EDT

[#29]

I can't believe no one has said this yet.

Cool story bro

Posted: 9/2/2014 9:40:50 PM EDT

[#30]

I've got demons too. They're in my belly and I'm trying to exercise them. Maybe I should hunch up in your driveway.

Posted: 9/2/2014 9:42:47 PM EDT

[#31]

Posted: 9/2/2014 9:43:11 PM EDT

[#32]

What kind of AR?

Posted: 9/2/2014 9:44:31 PM EDT

[#33]

Quote History

Quoted:
You're screwed

The demons enter the nearest weak soul

Dibs

View Quote

This.

You better call them up and have them come over and exercise YOU.

Posted: 9/2/2014 9:44:32 PM EDT

[#34]

Quote History

Quoted:
I can't believe no one has said this yet.

Cool story bro

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I can't believe no one has said, "In before the title change".

So... In before the title change!

Posted: 9/2/2014 9:45:18 PM EDT

[#35]

Quote History

Quoted:
Where in SC?

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This, cause you might be closer to me than I'd like.

Posted: 9/2/2014 9:45:27 PM EDT

[#36]

Posted: 9/2/2014 9:45:56 PM EDT

[#37]

You didn't look into the possessed's eyes......did you?

If you did, take a shot of holy water, and say 10 Hail Marys.

Posted: 9/2/2014 9:47:46 PM EDT

[#38]

Quote History

Quoted:
There is no Dana, only Zuul.

Posted Via AR15.Com Mobile

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say wwhhhuuuuuuuuut???

Posted: 9/2/2014 9:48:49 PM EDT

[#39]

Sounds like a bunch of pillbillies.

Posted: 9/2/2014 9:49:02 PM EDT

[#40]

IN!

Posted: 9/2/2014 9:49:12 PM EDT

[#41]

Quote History

Quoted:

I can't believe no one has said, "In before the title change".

So... In before the title change!

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Quote History

Quoted:

Quoted:
I can't believe no one has said this yet.

Cool story bro

I can't believe no one has said, "In before the title change".

So... In before the title change!

And your post is after site staff. Paul be slacking yo! :)

Posted: 9/2/2014 9:49:59 PM EDT

[#42]

She probably came back home a Gamecock fan.

The exorcism would then be appropriate.

Posted: 9/2/2014 9:51:37 PM EDT

[#43]

Tell the hot one that Satan has taken over your junk and it needs an exorcism.

Posted: 9/2/2014 9:51:38 PM EDT

[#44]

Pics of Beelzebub or it never happened.

I think you've been reading too many Stephen King rags.

Posted: 9/2/2014 9:51:56 PM EDT

[#45]

I think I would have called in the 5 OH bro.

Posted: 9/2/2014 9:52:50 PM EDT

[#46]

Quote History

Quoted:

Cool Zuul story bro

View Quote

Posted: 9/2/2014 9:52:58 PM EDT

[#47]

Posted: 9/2/2014 9:53:08 PM EDT

[#48]

Quote History

Quoted:
The proper response would have been to run out naked, eating a chocolate chip cookie, and do a mag dump into the air before blading at 45 degrees.

We need to see a photo of the driveway too.

If it's over the curb, a bit of crushed rock about ten feet long that's not a driveway.

View Quote

I'd worry more about bleaching the roof than adding gravel. Curb appeal is everything, though, so the real estate listing pics must include the not guilty girl.