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Posted: 9/2/2014 1:18:48 PM EDT
[#1]
Does not seem to bother my parents at all. Neither my brother nor I have kids. I like it that way. More room for dogs. My mother told me when I was 15 to do myself a favor and not have kids. That stuck with me. I think the only reason my brother and I were even born was the fact my mom was trying to be a good breeding Catholic before she decided that sucked.
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Posted: 9/2/2014 1:18:49 PM EDT
[#2]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
We did wait a bit though. We wanted a kid, but if we did it when I was in my early 20's life would have been harder. My wife now makes a good living, I had time to establish my business and make a decent reputation for myself. Because of that we can both spend a good deal of time with her, take care of her without going into the poorhouse, and mentally I think we both matured a lot after 25. I am 28, wife is 30 and our daughter turns 2 in a few days. Quote HistoryQuoted:
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I believe that everyone should wait until they are ready to have kids. I know people who waited until they were "ready." Then, when they were "ready," they found that they couldn't have any. The joke was on them. No one is ever "ready" for kids. I suggest doing it when you have a reasonable opportunity. We did wait a bit though. We wanted a kid, but if we did it when I was in my early 20's life would have been harder. My wife now makes a good living, I had time to establish my business and make a decent reputation for myself. Because of that we can both spend a good deal of time with her, take care of her without going into the poorhouse, and mentally I think we both matured a lot after 25. I am 28, wife is 30 and our daughter turns 2 in a few days. Depends on priorities. My wife got her degree and then had her first child at age 22, at which point she became a stay at home mom. By age 30 she already had 4 kids. It absolutely meant tempering expectations about financial wealth. Parenting helped accelerate a lot of maturing for us both. |
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Posted: 9/2/2014 1:20:15 PM EDT
[#3]
Ah, no.
I am amazed at how far people will stick their noses into other people's business. |
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Posted: 9/2/2014 1:33:45 PM EDT
[#4]
Having children is such a powerful decision at the personal level. My wife and I know a couple who moved out of Utah County (fairly high fertility rates are common here) because the couple was struggling with infertility challenges and it was too painful for them to see their neighbors having babies left and right while they were unable.
My wife and I have tried to avoid pressuring individuals or couples either way regarding having children, recognizing that we don't know what challenges each person or couple might be facing. |
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Posted: 9/2/2014 2:29:49 PM EDT
[#5]
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And ya'll are the reason blacks and hispanics are becoming the new majority. Gratz on handing over what your forefathers bled for because you want a BMW. Meh, my forefathers were in Ireland and Hungary and it's an Audi not a Beemer. |
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Posted: 9/2/2014 2:31:24 PM EDT
[#6]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
I'm sure you're doing your best to lead us to world wide victory. Quote HistoryQuoted:
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And ya'll are the reason blacks and hispanics are becoming the new majority. Gratz on handing over what your forefathers bled for because you want a BMW. I'm sure you're doing your best to lead us to world wide victory. 
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Posted: 9/2/2014 2:33:08 PM EDT
[#7]
Nope
Raising good kids isn't a job for everyone. I'd rather my son be happy than be miserable and procreate to live up to someone else's desires or narcissistic needs |
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Posted: 9/2/2014 2:46:49 PM EDT
[#8]
My future husband and I have had this discussion about kids, and I've told him that no I don't want to have children. I have two brothers that can 'continue' the line if they want and one already has..twice. So for me I don't feel this big pressure to have children that quite frankly, I can't support. I have thought that maybe in the future if we want a kid we can just adopt. At least that way we can make a difference in the life or live(s) of a child that needs help.
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Posted: 9/2/2014 3:36:28 PM EDT
[#9]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
My future husband and I have had this discussion about kids, and I've told him that no I don't want to have children. I have two brothers that can 'continue' the line if they want and one already has..twice. So for me I don't feel this big pressure to have children that quite frankly, I can't support. I have thought that maybe in the future if we want a kid we can just adopt. At least that way we can make a difference in the life or live(s) of a child that needs help. Good post. Welcome to arfcom. |
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Posted: 9/2/2014 4:32:55 PM EDT
[#10]
I get a kick out of the "overpopulation" and "effed up world" thing
#(*@ that ish. Let sub-Saharan Africa cut back. Let MENA cut back. Let Asia cut back. It's THEIR FUCKING FAULT the world is overpopulated. So you would rather someone who doesn't want a child makes one, then probably ruins it? There's a line between making excuses, and genuinely being not ready. Most of the people who say it are just making excuses. It's not like it's rocket science. Just because your parents made you doesn't mean you owe them Yeah, it kinda does. Like I said, if the ingrate who doesn't want kids had parents with the same attitude, he never would have existed. It's a nihilistic attitude. Not saying I would cut my kids off for not wanting to continue my name, but I understand his sentiment. I agree with his sentiment. Why reward nihilism? Seems a bit selfish to me. Kinda like saying "well, thanks for bringing me into existence, world, I'm off to not return the favor"? Our daughter decided long ago she didn't want kids. As fucked up as this country and this world is, we think it's a very wise move on her part. One hopes the tendency to surrender is genetic. |
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Posted: 9/2/2014 4:36:19 PM EDT
[#11]
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Kinda like saying "well, thanks for bringing me into existence, world, I'm off to not return the favor"? Quote HistoryQuoted:
Seems a bit selfish to me. Kinda like saying "well, thanks for bringing me into existence, world, I'm off to not return the favor"? Not return the favor? You don't do someone a favor by not pulling out and birthing them. You created another person for you, not for them. I don't owe my parents shit for creating me. I do appreciate how they raised me. |
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Posted: 9/2/2014 4:41:47 PM EDT
[#12]
At that point, my kids will be adults and what I think will mean exactly zero.
That said, I wouldn't be offended but I would be disappointed. |
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Posted: 9/2/2014 4:42:58 PM EDT
[#13]
Like I said above, your parents didn't make you as a favor to you, they made you for themselves, or possibly as an accident, and then hopefully still did the duty they brought upon themselves. You had zero say in the entire process.
That is why I get pissed off when people say things like "I brought you into this world, you have to take care of me when I get old", implying that they did you a huge favor by making you and you need to return it by taking care of them when they are old and broken, unconditionally none-the-less. |
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Posted: 9/2/2014 4:43:30 PM EDT
[#14]
the SO and I will not be having kids, and I think it makes my mom sad. Not angry, but kinda bummed out. She hints about grandkids ALL THE FUCKING TIME.
I love her, but not that much.  I'd rather light myself on fire.
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Posted: 9/2/2014 4:43:52 PM EDT
[#15]
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Yes. It offends me when anyone says that simply out of preference (as opposed to serious medical concerns or the like); if their parents had had that selfish attitude, they would never have existed. Maybe one day we'll have the tech to poll babies in the womb and find the ones that will share this attitude, and abort them. Pay it forward. Selfish my ass. I don't owe anyone a child, and I sure as hell don't owe the world a child that I don't want. |
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Posted: 9/2/2014 4:45:20 PM EDT
[#16]
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And ya'll are the reason blacks and hispanics are becoming the new majority. Gratz on handing over what your forefathers bled for because you want a BMW. god I thought this absurd shit wouldn't come in until at least page 3. Arfcom is full of surprises.
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Posted: 9/2/2014 4:45:43 PM EDT
[#17]
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I agree with his sentiment. Why reward nihilism? . Quote HistoryQuoted:
Not saying I would cut my kids off for not wanting to continue my name, but I understand his sentiment. I agree with his sentiment. Why reward nihilism? . So choosing not to have a child is the same having no morals or thinking that life is meaningless? Seems like quite a jump there. |
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Posted: 9/2/2014 4:46:55 PM EDT
[#18]
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god I thought this absurd shit wouldn't come in until at least page 3. Arfcom is full of surprises. Quote HistoryQuoted:
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And ya'll are the reason blacks and hispanics are becoming the new majority. Gratz on handing over what your forefathers bled for because you want a BMW. god I thought this absurd shit wouldn't come in until at least page 3. Arfcom is full of surprises. 'Merica |
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Posted: 9/2/2014 4:47:53 PM EDT
[#19]
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There's a line between making excuses, and genuinely being not ready. Most of the people who say it are just making excuses. It's not like it's rocket science. This is just bizarre. I'm not making excuses, I'm a free man. |
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Posted: 9/2/2014 4:52:31 PM EDT
[#20]
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Ah, no. I am amazed at how far people will stick their noses into other people's business. Some of the people in this thread are nuts. Militantly pro kid? 
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Posted: 9/2/2014 4:53:22 PM EDT
[#21]
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My mom told me when I was 14 that I wasn't planned, and that my conception was actually a mistake. That taught me that not all mistakes, or slip ups are terrible, but I should still be careful anyway. JohnnyCarcinogen, I agree with your decision. Good on you for being honest to your kid, in the future. I'm glad my mom was honest with me. It's a family joke that my wife's mom told her she didn't want her because she was still dealing with her two older sisters (twins) as 18-month olds when she got pregnant. It's the joke because out of 8 kids, my wife, The Unwanted One. is the one who spends more time with her mother helping her on projects around her house, helping out financially and who has the closest mother-child relationship in their family. The news about her being an unwanted/unplanned pregnancy came out in her early teens and there has been no ill effects from the news on my wife and my MIL admits that of all her children, my wife has grown to become the one she trusts and depends on and her favorite in spite of her initial misgivings about having her. |
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Posted: 9/2/2014 4:53:35 PM EDT
[#22]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
'Merica Quote HistoryQuoted:
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And ya'll are the reason blacks and hispanics are becoming the new majority. Gratz on handing over what your forefathers bled for because you want a BMW. god I thought this absurd shit wouldn't come in until at least page 3. Arfcom is full of surprises. 'Merica Just think... soon we will be overrun by flocks of blacks and hispanics. Oh god the horror! 
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Posted: 9/2/2014 4:55:38 PM EDT
[#23]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Some of the people in this thread are nuts. Militantly pro kid? Quote HistoryQuoted:
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Ah, no. I am amazed at how far people will stick their noses into other people's business. Some of the people in this thread are nuts. Militantly pro kid? I would guess giving a venn diagram of sorts they are also Catholic. |
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Posted: 9/2/2014 4:57:13 PM EDT
[#24]
Quote HistoryQuoted: I would guess giving a venn diagram of sorts they are also Catholic. Quote HistoryQuoted: Quoted: Quoted: Ah, no. I am amazed at how far people will stick their noses into other people's business. Some of the people in this thread are nuts. Militantly pro kid? I would guess giving a venn diagram of sorts they are also Catholic. |
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Posted: 9/2/2014 4:59:29 PM EDT
[#25]
Quote HistoryQuote HistoryQuoted:
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And ya'll are the reason blacks and hispanics are becoming the new majority. Gratz on handing over what your forefathers bled for because you want a BMW. I'm sure you're doing your best to lead us to world wide victory. http://i.imgur.com/nw18f5z.jpg 
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Posted: 9/2/2014 5:01:55 PM EDT
[#26]
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I'm not militantly pro kid or Catholic, but a lack of a desire to have children is just another genetic defect. Why? We live in a time when you don't need to have children to help you with your work. It's not like the human race is in dire need of more people. Now is the perfect time for people who don't like or want children to be perfectly fine without them. Honestly I feel like they may be missing out, but as I pointed out earlier lots of lifestyles don't go well with also being a parent, and that is fine too. |
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Posted: 9/2/2014 5:08:29 PM EDT
[#27]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Why? We live in a time when you don't need to have children to help you with your work. It's not like the human race is in dire need of more people. Now is the perfect time for people who don't like or want children to be perfectly fine without them. Honestly I feel like they may be missing out, but as I pointed out earlier lots of lifestyles don't go well with also being a parent, and that is fine too. Quote HistoryQuoted: Quoted: I'm not militantly pro kid or Catholic, but a lack of a desire to have children is just another genetic defect. Why? We live in a time when you don't need to have children to help you with your work. It's not like the human race is in dire need of more people. Now is the perfect time for people who don't like or want children to be perfectly fine without them. Honestly I feel like they may be missing out, but as I pointed out earlier lots of lifestyles don't go well with also being a parent, and that is fine too. I will be disappointed if my children don't give me grand children, especially if it is simply their choice. On the other hand if one or two opt out of reproducing I hope to have plenty more that continue reproduction. |
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Posted: 9/2/2014 5:14:30 PM EDT
[#28]
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Genes reproduce, it's what they do. If they don't reproduce they have failed their one mission in the world. Deleterious genes are those that prevent the genes from reproducing. Plenty of people are voluntarily removing themselves from the gene pool. That's their choice, but IMO is an indicator of poor genetics. I will be disappointed if my children don't give me grand children, especially if it is simply their choice. On the other hand if one or two opt out of reproducing I hope to have plenty more that continue reproduction. Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
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I'm not militantly pro kid or Catholic, but a lack of a desire to have children is just another genetic defect. Why? We live in a time when you don't need to have children to help you with your work. It's not like the human race is in dire need of more people. Now is the perfect time for people who don't like or want children to be perfectly fine without them. Honestly I feel like they may be missing out, but as I pointed out earlier lots of lifestyles don't go well with also being a parent, and that is fine too. I will be disappointed if my children don't give me grand children, especially if it is simply their choice. On the other hand if one or two opt out of reproducing I hope to have plenty more that continue reproduction. Keep in mind though our favorable genes are becoming those that we would once consider weak. Physical strength is no longer top priority for our survival. The people with the brains are the ones that will take us into the future, but that is arbitrary. People with fantastic genes are getting fixed but still banging like rabbits. Their genes didn't fail them, they are doing the mechanical motions. They just reasoned enough to realize the don't want to care for a child. I have been considering it myself actually. I have one kid, and that is most likely enough, we have a window a few years long where we may have another, after that I would rather just close up the faucet. I have fantastic genetics, but it doesn't mean I want to care for anymore kids that share them. |
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Posted: 9/2/2014 5:15:49 PM EDT
[#29]
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I would wonder what happened to her, but it wouldn't "bother" me. A 19 y/o doesn't know what she wants. The decision means more at 38. Subtly implying that her decision is not "correct." |
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Posted: 9/2/2014 5:16:53 PM EDT
[#30]
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All that's fine if you have the choice. I would have given anything to have had children, but my wife and I weren't able to. I guess it was part of God's plan. I still think the main purpose of marriage is to have children. Otherwise, why bother? God played a cruel joke on us. THIS. However I disagree on the cruel joke aspect. A disappointment and sad turn of events, to be sure. A test of faith and your marriage, yes. But not a cruel joke. I can accept that in our case, no children may work out better, given health issues that are cropping up. I'm starting to feel like I'm the repository of all the bad genes in my family and things working out that there are no children in our marriage means those health issues will not inflict another generation. And recently it looks like the same sort of situation is starting to manifest itself with my wife. So we may be a case of God pairing together two "should not have children" types so only one marriage has to go through the disappointment of not having children. And with a total of 11 siblings between us, there have certainly been enough nieces and nephews for us to pour affection upon. There is still an occasional moment of disappointment over no children, but we have come to grips with the situation. Although now at "grandparent age" the pangs of disappointment do seem to happen more often than in the years since we got the final opinion that children would never happen. That said, if I had children and one told me they didn't want children of their own, I would feel some disappointment with them. If they could state their case and make a solid case why they felt that way, I might be able to accept their decision without further questioning them. But if they said it was simply for their convenience or that they didn't want the responsibility the I would feel that I had failed as a parent by not teaching them to embrace the responsibility that having children would bring into their life. |
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Posted: 9/2/2014 5:21:35 PM EDT
[#31]
I don't really see the big deal. If they live in America they still have free choice. Call me selfish - I have no qualms about admitting that I would rather live a good quality life without children than a complete and total shit struggle of a life just so other 'pro breeding' people can rest easy at night.
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Posted: 9/2/2014 5:48:15 PM EDT
[#32]
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Just think... soon we will be overrun by flocks of blacks and hispanics. Oh god the horror! Pretty soon our grandchildren won't look like us. Can you believe that!?!?!?!? What will we do then!!!!! |
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Posted: 9/2/2014 5:57:41 PM EDT
[#33]
People with IQs over 110 should be required to have offspring. People with IQs under 110 should have reproductive "rights" curtailed.
(No not really) |
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Posted: 9/2/2014 6:09:09 PM EDT
[#34]
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If you don't think your line coming to an end matters, I guess it doesn't. This was my thinking as well there no way in hell my family line was going to end with me. |
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Posted: 9/2/2014 6:10:56 PM EDT
[#35]
I would just want them to be happy with their lives. Whether that involves kids or not is none of my business.
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Posted: 9/2/2014 7:28:40 PM EDT
[#36]
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The SO and I will not be having kids, and I think it makes my mom sad. Not angry, but kinda bummed out. She hints about grandkids ALL THE FUCKING TIME. I love her, but not that much. I'd rather light myself on fire.My mom was the same way but she's finally given up. 
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Posted: 9/2/2014 7:37:59 PM EDT
[#37]
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I don't really see the big deal. If they live in America they still have free choice. Call me selfish - I have no qualms about admitting that I would rather live a good quality life without children than a complete and total shit struggle of a life just so other 'pro breeding' people can rest easy at night. Your great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-grandfather, who died of exhaustion stabbing Persians in the face at Thermopylae wasn't worried as much about a 'good quality life' as he was in making sure his family survived. 
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Posted: 9/2/2014 9:40:02 PM EDT
[#38]
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If my children don't have offspring, how will I have grandchildren that look like me? This is very important to me so if my children can't produce grand-children I'd likely quit talking to them.
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Posted: 9/2/2014 9:43:16 PM EDT
[#39]
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If my children don't have offspring, how will I have grandchildren that look like me? This is very important to me so if my children can't produce grand-children I'd likely quit talking to them. Adjust your sarcasm meter yo |
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Posted: 9/2/2014 9:49:46 PM EDT
[#40]
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Just think... soon we will be overrun by flocks of blacks and hispanics. Oh god the horror! 
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Posted: 9/2/2014 9:51:24 PM EDT
[#41]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Im way too lazy to google this but I dont think your wifes IQ is 200 plus, because im pretty sure it stops at 200, and the smartest person on the planet is 180ish. Someone bragging online about their 143 IQ would probably know those details though. Quote HistoryQuoted:
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If you don't think your line coming to an end matters, I guess it doesn't. I've got seven brothers and one sister. Between them I have over 20 nieces and nephews. My family line isn't going away anytime soon. I won't have any kids because I'm a cripple and have genetic problems that could be passed on. It wouldn't be fair for any potential child to have me as a father. There are a ton of kids/babies out there that need adoptive homes. Just sayin'. One of my friends adopted a baby from Guatemala. He's 10 now. My wife and I have a combined IQ close to 350 (143 for me, 200+ for her). While we always wanted kids, part of the motivation was that we also felt we needed to have kids to help combat the Idiocracy crowd. Im way too lazy to google this but I dont think your wifes IQ is 200 plus, because im pretty sure it stops at 200, and the smartest person on the planet is 180ish. Someone bragging online about their 143 IQ would probably know those details though. If his wife had a 200+ IQ, we'd probably know her name. |
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Posted: 9/2/2014 9:57:24 PM EDT
[#42]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Yes. It offends me when anyone says that simply out of preference (as opposed to serious medical concerns or the like); if their parents had had that selfish attitude, they would never have existed. Maybe one day we'll have the tech to poll babies in the womb and find the ones that will share this attitude, and abort them. Pay it forward.
You win "Dumbass post of the day". |
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Posted: 9/2/2014 9:58:37 PM EDT
[#43]
I'll say this:
It wouldn't offend me. But it would make me sad. Why? Because it means that literally every single one of their relatives before them successfully passed on their genes. Every one, for hundreds of millions of years. All the way back until the beginning of time when we were all just single-celled organisms. Every one of them was successful…and then the line stops abruptly. |
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Posted: 9/2/2014 10:01:12 PM EDT
[#44]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
I know people who waited until they were "ready." Then, when they were "ready," they found that they couldn't have any. The joke was on them. No one is ever "ready" for kids. I suggest doing it when you have a reasonable opportunity. Quote HistoryQuoted:
I believe that everyone should wait until they are ready to have kids. I know people who waited until they were "ready." Then, when they were "ready," they found that they couldn't have any. The joke was on them. No one is ever "ready" for kids. I suggest doing it when you have a reasonable opportunity. What would have changed if they tried earlier and still couldn't have kids? |
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Posted: 9/2/2014 10:07:16 PM EDT
[#45]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
I'm not militantly pro kid or Catholic, but a lack of a desire to have children is just another genetic defect. Quote HistoryQuoted:
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Ah, no. I am amazed at how far people will stick their noses into other people's business. Some of the people in this thread are nuts. Militantly pro kid? I would guess giving a venn diagram of sorts they are also Catholic. I'll bet you're an expert on defects. .. |
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Posted: 9/2/2014 10:09:55 PM EDT
[#46]
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Adjust your sarcasm meter yo Quote HistoryQuoted:
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If my children don't have offspring, how will I have grandchildren that look like me? This is very important to me so if my children can't produce grand-children I'd likely quit talking to them. Adjust your sarcasm meter yo Yea, it's a little off today. |
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Posted: 9/2/2014 10:13:06 PM EDT
[#47]
My parents are pretty bummed that I'm not having kids. I have also had other people give me most of the opinions already expressed here. "That's selfish." "It's wrong not to want them." "You're missing out." Etc. Etc.
The bottom line is that everyone - through action and inaction - has created a situation in which future generations will not have it as good as things are now. In a lot of ways things already are not as good as they have been. This has led me to the following conclusions: the world does not deserve my children, and my children do not deserve to live in a world with less freedom and fewer opportunities. It's too bad, really. I have good genes, good career, and would be a good father. I just won't perpetuate the current situation by producing offspring for the FSA to steal from. It's the ultimate way of going Galt. |
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Posted: 9/2/2014 10:20:23 PM EDT
[#48]
offend no, disappoint yes.
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Posted: 9/2/2014 10:33:31 PM EDT
[#49]
My wife and I are in our early 50s with no kids. Wife has health problems and I have to work. Kids were not in the cards. Oh well.
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Posted: 9/2/2014 10:44:07 PM EDT
[#50]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
I'm not militantly pro kid or Catholic, but a lack of a desire to have children is just another genetic defect. Most of us just don't WANT to have kids. It's not like we've lost our sex drive... which is, you know, how you make babies 
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