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Posted: 8/29/2014 12:01:12 PM EDT
Edited to add: I have a wonderful wife, a great life, and have never had it better.
Wifey: "Honey, do you want to take out the garbage?" Me: "I live my life for it." Wifey: "Don't be a smart ass." Me: "Please, please, please if you want me to do something just ask like this, "Honey, would you please take out the garbage or check the mail or start a load of laundry.....you know? I am happy to do all those things, but just ask me to do those things, and not if I want to." Wifey: "I think it is a woman thing. Would you like to give me your opinion?" Me: "Arghhhh! There you go again. The prior Ms. Goldstein did the same thing after I begged her to stop. The $20k divorce was nearly worth It just to stop hearing her do that." Wifey: "Point taken. Would you like to massage my feet?" Me: 
That's my example of estrogen poisoning or that thing that women seem to be born to do. Would you like to give me your example? 
UPDATE: Sadly, this has already sunk to sandy panty poop storm with accusations of women-hating. |
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Posted: 8/29/2014 12:03:49 PM EDT
[#1]
Wait till she hits menopause.
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Posted: 8/29/2014 12:04:43 PM EDT
[#2]
Mine and I do the same thing
Wife: Do you want to take out the garbage? Me: No, I don't want to. Wife: Will you take out the garbage? Me: I reckon. |
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Posted: 8/29/2014 12:05:25 PM EDT
[#3]
If my wife asks me : "do you want to.....?" I just respond honestly.
Ex: Her: do you want to take out the trash? Me: no. Her: do you want to change the baby's diaper? Me: no. When she gets annoyed with me, I simply say: "you asked me if i wanted to... If you don't want to know, then don't ask. If you'd like me to do something, you should have just said "will you please do.....?" I've been using this strategy for the last year. So far I haven't seen any change in the spousal unit. I will report back after another year or two of experimenting with this approach. |
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Posted: 8/29/2014 12:06:45 PM EDT
[#4]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Wait till she hits menopause. Did that a year ago. Do you know when life begins? When the kids leave home, the dog dies, and the wifey stops ovulating. |
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Posted: 8/29/2014 12:07:02 PM EDT
[#5]
pics of wife's feet?
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Posted: 8/29/2014 12:07:21 PM EDT
[#6]
any of the rap..the kids do..if I get static, I take their Iphone or the keys to the car....
 ...so much power can make one giddy.....
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Posted: 8/29/2014 12:08:21 PM EDT
[#7]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
pics of wife's feet? She's gone ahead to a Texas high school football game so no picture. However, they are small with pink toenails. |
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Posted: 8/29/2014 12:08:31 PM EDT
[#8]
 |
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Posted: 8/29/2014 12:09:17 PM EDT
[#9]
They all have horns. Well, except our mothers.
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Posted: 8/29/2014 12:11:04 PM EDT
[#10]
Me: "I really want to finish clearing out the underbrush in the woods before summer's over"
Her: "Here's this huge list of handyman projects I want you to get done this summer." Me: "Okay, I will do those. Since we have a newborn son that I have to help you with, it will probably take most of the summer to get those done." (near end of summer) Her: "I thought you wanted to get that brush cleared before the end of summer?" |
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Posted: 8/29/2014 12:11:50 PM EDT
[#11]
It's never, "honey, would you like a bj and a sandwich?" Is it?
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Posted: 8/29/2014 12:13:00 PM EDT
[#12]
My wife frequently asks "would you mind..." when asking me to do some task.
I don't let it bother me. |
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Posted: 8/29/2014 12:13:31 PM EDT
[#13]
Quote HistoryOh. My. God. |
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Posted: 8/29/2014 12:14:35 PM EDT
[#14]
Quoted:
Wifey: "Point taken. Would you like to massage my feet?" Me:
That's my example of estrogen poisoning or that thing that women seem to be born to do. Would you like to give me your example? Just last night: Wife: "You could rub my feet...." Me: Yep. *click* South Carolina is getting embarrassed..." Wife: 
Me: 
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Posted: 8/29/2014 12:15:06 PM EDT
[#15]
Do they ever say, would you mind having sex right now?
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Posted: 8/29/2014 12:15:23 PM EDT
[#16]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
It's never, "honey, would you like a bj and a sandwich?" Is it? Reverse heterocage is what it is. |
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Posted: 8/29/2014 12:21:07 PM EDT
[#17]
Mine says "can you?".
I always say "yes" . Later she akes me if I did and I say you never asked me too.
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Posted: 8/29/2014 12:22:19 PM EDT
[#18]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
She's gone ahead to a Texas high school football game so no picture. However, they are small with pink toenails. Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
pics of wife's feet? She's gone ahead to a Texas high school football game so no picture. However, they are small with pink toenails. mmmmmmmmmmmmmm |
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Posted: 8/29/2014 12:23:49 PM EDT
[#19]
fucking everything
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Posted: 8/29/2014 12:30:29 PM EDT
[#20]
If my wife needs me to do a task, she will just ask. "Can you take out the trash" ..... the kicker is, she usually will back up to me and/or rub up on me while batting her eyes while asking. She knows I can't say no when she does that shit
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Posted: 8/29/2014 12:32:57 PM EDT
[#21]
I am constantly amused when the wife says "We should do this..We should do that as in paint the deck, build a garage, etc etc.
I always tell her "Where do you get this" We" shit?" |
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Posted: 8/29/2014 12:38:16 PM EDT
[#22]
Mine, "I thought you were going to,,,"
Me, "Now what do you think?" |
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Posted: 8/29/2014 12:39:41 PM EDT
[#23]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
I am constantly amused when the wife says "We should do this..We should do that as in paint the deck, build a garage, etc etc. I always tell her "Where do you get this" We" shit?" mouse in the pocket syndrome |
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Posted: 8/29/2014 12:40:10 PM EDT
[#24]
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Posted: 8/29/2014 12:41:16 PM EDT
[#25]
You should turn it around on them.
"Would you like to give me a BJ right now?" …something tells me that isn't going to work.
Seriously though, my wife does the "Would you like to…" thing and it drives me up the wall. But eventually I've learned to just go with it, because she isn't going to change. Quoted:
I am constantly amused when the wife says "We should do this..We should do that as in paint the deck, build a garage, etc etc. I always tell her "Where do you get this" We" shit?" My wife does the same thing. She has this huge list of things she wants done around the house (including stuff like "repaint the entire house", "completely re-do the yard"), etc. Guess who ends up doing 95% of the work? Quoted:
Mine would be me going up the stairs, through the bedroom, into the bathroom. Wife laying in bed watching tv. After 10 minutes spent on the throne, walk out of the bathroom, through the bedroom, and get half way down the stairs and hear, " babe! ". Oh now you need something! <a href="http://s1309.photobucket.com/user/bigdunn65/media/Mobile%20Uploads/04614A4F-612E-478A-AA4D-521A9D1F9543_zpsht7kj79a.jpg.html" target="_blank">http://i1309.photobucket.com/albums/s639/bigdunn65/Mobile%20Uploads/04614A4F-612E-478A-AA4D-521A9D1F9543_zpsht7kj79a.jpg</a> Sounds familiar.
….and yet, I still love her. I'm sure I do something that absolutely annoy the shit out of her, too. 
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Posted: 8/29/2014 12:45:11 PM EDT
[#26]
Another one:
Wifey: "Something...something...murmur....and this....do you want to....something." Me (who is not in the room or the doorway or actually close) walking toward her: "I'm sorry. I couldn't hear you because I was at the other end of the house." Wifey (who doesn't pick up on the subtle hint that I can't hear through walls): "Do we want to blah blah blah?" Me (inside of head going off like Tannerite on a hot Texas day): "Sure." (I don't even try to explain that it would be nice for her to go find me first.) |
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Posted: 8/29/2014 12:46:19 PM EDT
[#27]
Me: where do you want to eat?
her: where ever ... me: seafood her: no me: chinese her: no me: thai her: no me: walk into kitchen put some lunch meat on bread sit in living room and chomp down her: what the heck ... i thought we were eating out me: give me a beer her: fuck you get your own |
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Posted: 8/29/2014 12:46:55 PM EDT
[#28]
my response usually is "are your arms and legs broken?"
she hates it when i say that. lol |
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Posted: 8/29/2014 12:49:07 PM EDT
[#29]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Oh. My. God. Quote HistoryQuoted:
Oh. My. God. "I don't care...but not there..." |
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Posted: 8/29/2014 12:50:30 PM EDT
[#30]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
It's never, "honey, would you like a bj and a sandwich?" Is it? |
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Posted: 8/29/2014 12:52:50 PM EDT
[#31]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Me: where do you want to eat? her: where ever ... me: seafood her: no me: chinese her: no me: thai her: no me: walk into kitchen put some lunch meat on bread sit in living room and chomp down her: what the heck ... i thought we were eating out me: give me a beer her: fuck you get your own This has played out in my house more than once. It's like there is one thing they want. But they don't want to say what they want. But they want to play 20 god damn questions to get you to say what they want.
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Posted: 8/29/2014 12:52:58 PM EDT
[#32]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
I am constantly amused when the wife says "We should do this..We should do that as in paint the deck, build a garage, etc etc. I always tell her "Where do you get this" We" shit?" Oh, fucking yes! Glad I'm not the only one...... |
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Posted: 8/29/2014 12:54:37 PM EDT
[#33]
It drives me nuts when she asks me, when I just need her to tell me. But if I already don't know, then she won't tell me.
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Posted: 8/29/2014 12:56:27 PM EDT
[#34]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Me: where do you want to eat? her: where ever ... me: seafood her: no me: chinese her: no me: thai her: no me: walk into kitchen put some lunch meat on bread sit in living room and chomp down her: what the heck ... i thought we were eating out me: give me a beer her: fuck you get your own 
A video link my brother recently sent to me: 
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Posted: 8/29/2014 12:57:30 PM EDT
[#35]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Another one: Wifey: "Something...something...murmur....and this....do you want to....something." Me (who is not in the room or the doorway or actually close) walking toward her: "I'm sorry. I couldn't hear you because I was at the other end of the house." Wifey (who doesn't pick up on the subtle hint that I can't hear through walls): "Do we want to blah blah blah?" Me (inside of head going off like Tannerite on a hot Texas day): "Sure." (I don't even try to explain that it would be nice for her to go find me first.) Somehow she can call out to me from the opposite side of the house, usually 1 floor down, and I can hear her. I'll respond, and she won't hear me. And then she gets mad because she assumes I'm ignoring her.
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Posted: 8/29/2014 1:09:46 PM EDT
[#36]
If this is the stickiest thing in your relationships, I'm guessing ya'll are alright!
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Posted: 8/29/2014 1:13:19 PM EDT
[#37]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
If this is the stickiest thing in your relatships, I'm guessing ya'll are alright! Which is why I don't let it bother me. 
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Posted: 8/29/2014 1:15:33 PM EDT
[#38]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Wait till she hits menopause. No shit. It gets way worse when they start menopause.  
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Posted: 8/29/2014 1:19:03 PM EDT
[#39]
Quoted:
Me: "Arghhhh! There you go again. The prior Ms. Goldstein did the same thing after I begged her to stop. The $20k divorce was nearly worth It just to stop hearing her do that." WTF is wrong with you? |
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Posted: 8/29/2014 1:46:44 PM EDT
[#40]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Somehow she can call out to me from the opposite side of the house, usually 1 floor down, and I can hear her. I'll respond, and she won't hear me. And then she gets mad because she assumes I'm ignoring her.Quote HistoryQuoted: Quoted: Another one: Wifey: "Something...something...murmur....and this....do you want to....something." Me (who is not in the room or the doorway or actually close) walking toward her: "I'm sorry. I couldn't hear you because I was at the other end of the house." Wifey (who doesn't pick up on the subtle hint that I can't hear through walls): "Do we want to blah blah blah?" Me (inside of head going off like Tannerite on a hot Texas day): "Sure." (I don't even try to explain that it would be nice for her to go find me first.) Somehow she can call out to me from the opposite side of the house, usually 1 floor down, and I can hear her. I'll respond, and she won't hear me. And then she gets mad because she assumes I'm ignoring her.Or worse. You speak up so she can hear you, and you get a "why are you yelling at me!" |
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Posted: 8/29/2014 2:04:19 PM EDT
[#41]
SWEET HOLY MOTHER OF GOD--I truly thought I was the only man on the planet with Wife that talks like this! My favorites include "wanting" to get together with her batshit-crazy mother or friends.
Her: Do you want to get together with......? fill in the blank with some batshit-crazy person(s) Me: I don't "want to" but will if that's what you want. Her: Well, I WANT you to WANT to do it, not because you have to.... Me:
I think estrogen makes them do it--or maybe it's just a means of making us crazy--like their pheromones & boobies. 
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Posted: 8/29/2014 2:21:28 PM EDT
[#42]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
If this is the stickiest thing in your relationships, I'm guessing ya'll are alright! Oh, don't let that get in the way of a good "Let's Bitch About Women" thread. I swear sometimes y'all are worse than a crowd of old biddies at a sewing circle. |
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Posted: 8/29/2014 2:24:15 PM EDT
[#43]
Mine uses the word "Maybe" for everything. FFS its a yes or no question
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Posted: 8/29/2014 2:32:22 PM EDT
[#44]
Wife:"Whaddya want to do this weekend?
Me:"Nothing." Wife, bit later: "Okay, we have dinner with the Johnsons at 6, tomorrow we need to go to the movies with the Smiths, tomorrow night you're taking me to dinner, sunday we need to go to the store and visit your parents, and then the Russells are coming over for dinner..." Me: "That's a whole lot of nothing...."
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Posted: 8/29/2014 2:35:08 PM EDT
[#45]
Mine always asks "can I ask you something" before asks the question she wants.
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Posted: 8/29/2014 2:37:46 PM EDT
[#46]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Wife:"Whaddya want to do this weekend? Me:"Nothing." Wife, bit later: "Okay, we have dinner with the Johnsons at 6, tomorrow we need to go to the movies with the Smiths, tomorrow night you're taking me to dinner, sunday we need to go to the store and visit your parents, and then the Russells are coming over for dinner..." Me: "That's a whole lot of nothing...."She obviously took it to mean you had nothing that you wanted to do so she was free to put things on the schedule. Perhaps if you'd have said, "I don't want to go anywhere, see anyone or do anything at all but relax and scratch and my balls" she'd have known what you meant. |
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Posted: 8/29/2014 2:38:58 PM EDT
[#47]
My wife: "do you need my help to..." Or "let's ...", followed by it being just me doing the task.
And no matter how many times I tell her that it bugs the piss out of me when she phrases things that way, she keeps on doing it.
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Posted: 8/29/2014 2:43:08 PM EDT
[#48]
This having to "like" something is insidious.
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Posted: 8/29/2014 2:45:15 PM EDT
[#49]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Mine always asks "can I ask you something" before asks the question she wants. |
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Posted: 8/29/2014 2:46:04 PM EDT
[#50]
Most recently:
"Can you change the baby's diaper?" "I'm cooking your dinner right now." "But it needs to be changed." "Okay watch this so it doesn't burn." Five minutes later. "I dinner ready yet?" |
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