after 9 years together a few months after i was finally able to give my wife everything we had ever wanted she shut down to me... she stopped even acknowledging that i existed... stopped looking at me when i came home, stopped hugging me, stopped kissing me goodnight, stopped holding my hand when we went out, stopped talking to me and stopped acting like my existance was anything more to her than a burden. i was pulled away by someone who wanted to be treated with kindness. after 7 months of seperation, 6 months of counciling, and an endless amount of effort on my part i still can not wrap my head around how or why she shut down to me. ive been in love with her since we started dating and that has never stopped.
my stubbornness/pride/stupidity kept me from being able to talk to her before i did what i did... its the worst thing i have ever done and it has destroyed every bit of who i was. ive done everything i can think of and everything that has been suggested to me and i feel im getting nowhere. i see no future without my wife, she is everything i have ever cared about. all i ever wanted to be was a good husband. i should have wanted to be a great husband and i see the error of my methods now and im doing all i can to fix that about myself.
im at the point now where i dont think she will ever allow us to try and fix what is broken between us but that does not mean i am giving up. i can not work on "us" so for now im working on "me". ive lost 60lbs, ive quit drinking, i eat a rather healthy diet, ive rediscovered being physical (hiking, jogging, walking, going to the gym, biking) and more important than any of this ive learned to ask for help when i need it. i know now that my way is not always the best way.
if/when we finnish working on our dream home it will only be so that it can be sold and we will then divorce. ill do all i can to fight againt that but i wont fight the divorce if thats what she really wants.

anyway... i dunno... i cheated on my wife... never wanted to... it wasnt about sex... worst thing ive ever done... it ruined my life... id do anything to be able to try and fix this...

Point taken, but the poll overwhelmingly is against cheating. I do not think most of general discussion thinks much of cheaters.

I have been cheated on as well, the level in which it sucks when you find out almost cant be described, and if you honestly think you wont get caught think again, these things have a way of coming out, make take a while but they do.

I'm proud of the posters in this thread.  I too wouldn't do it, it is one thing that is easy to do, but is completely controlled by your own actions.  I just texted my wife something sweet, to make sure she knows I care about her, and it doesn't mention this post at all.. lol

Now you've done it.  She'll be sure that you did something wrong, especially if you take her flowers tonight.

I was waiting for someone to pull the ARFcom "She's fucking someone else!!!!" but that's good enough.







 

I'd say she made some poor decisions if she loves and trusts completely and the scenario you're describing even becomes plausible in your mind.

nope  divorce would be to costly

Integrity.

op, at least be man enough to tell your girl that you want to fuck around and give your girl the chance to tell you to go fuck yourself.

never cheated, but both husbands ive had have cheated on me. let me just say that the damage this time around is bad enough that i seriously doubt that i will ever be able to let anyone close to me again.

Sorry to hear that.

Men and women are truly wired differently, but once a man says you are the only one forever, he needs to mean it and do it.

i made my mistakes, im less than perfect. this time i thought i had made the right choice. now im left smoldering in ashes from a fire i didnt set. too scared to want to be that vulnerable again, id rather be alone.

for those that cheat, you destroy not just your relationship, but you leave behind scars that sometimes never really heal.

i made my mistakes, im less than perfect. this time i thought i had made the right choice. now im left smoldering in ashes from a fire i didnt set. too scared to want to be that vulnerable again, id rather be alone.

for those that cheat, you destroy not just your relationship, but you leave behind scars that sometimes never really heal.

Sigline worthy right there.

Eh, is the grass REALLY greener? Doubt it

Nope. 99% of women have a personality I can't stand.

I bet you $50 the feeling is mutual.

No.

Any number of things can become fucked up messes and are outside of my control.  My integrity is not one of those things.

Likely. I try to stick with guys. Less BS. Also if they pull some goofy shit like this thread describes you can lay em out.



 

No.  Don't invite drama into your life. If you think you wouldn't be doing that, you'd be wrong.  And karma can be a bitch.

Plus, penis is awesome, amirite?

That's what I've heard.



 

I just shake my fucking head at these threads and laugh sometimes.

I learned long ago that what people say in public and what people do in private when they think no one will ever find out are often two very different things.

When I first got out of college and took a job that traveled a lot some of my coworkers and I would sometimes go out to the bars and try to pick up chicks.  One of the older guys refused to ever go with us because "he respected his wife too much to go to a bar that had slutty women."

Later his wife divorced him because she found out he was having sex with prostitutes.

Another guy I worked with was ultra-religious.  He said that he has never looked at porn in his life because it's a huge sin.

Later he got fired for looking at porn on his company computer.