I have had some suspicions about his sexuality for many years. He never showed any real interest interest in girls other than a few cursory glances at their ass or something when we would be at the beach. I noticed the wife, my 17 y/o daughter and him were having alot of hush hush type conversations the last month or so. It is no excuse, but I have been extremely busy w/my own life. It is now the holiday season and I sell guns for the largest gun retailer  in the country. On top of that I just finished up the 4.5 month long Criminal Justice Academy and specialized in Emergency Commo operations, 911, dispatch, teletype etc.. so I was working 0900 hours to 1700 hours, then the academy from 1800 hrs to 2230 hrs.  Mon - Thursday.  in addition to that I was interning w/ a few depts to get my observation hours in plus doing sit ins (like a ride along) at other agencies so they could get to know me and I would not be another face in the crowd.

   My new career is starting to get traction in the last week I got two call backs to come in and take the initial CritiCall testing and if I did well on that (no easy feat trust me) I then would move onto the Oral Boards. So today I took another test w/ another big agency (the creme dela creme of all S FL agencies in pay and status) and not only passed the CritiCall but they asked me to stay and meet the Chief and them come back after lunch to sit for the 6 person Oral Interview process.  Usuall there is about a month time lapse btw the test and the Oral but they fast tracked me today...it is a Federal LEO agency so I a fuking psyched. I never thought I had it in me to get in w/the Feds. I also am studying my ass off to pass the FL State Certification exam , 300 questions on Wed.

    So on w/the real issue, I was told to come home and we were having a family meeting at 2200 hours, I am like oh fuk my 17 y/o is preggo (she is on the pill ) so I kinda pushed that aside. The wife opens up w/ saying my 14 y/o has something to come clean about...."Dad I am gay" I have a b/f and we have been seeing each other a few months now. my wife confirmed this and said this is not a phase but he has had these feelings for as long as he could remember. He also said he thought more than once of killing himself as he is sinning in Gods eyes and for the embarrassment he is bringing upon the family. I was just dumbfounded.
I was concerned more about the suicide part than anything. He is 14 but has so much to give to the world. Every parent thinks their kid is special  but he really is. He is 14 and already in high school. He should be in 8th grade but he is graduating next year w/honors. The HS he goes too has 700 kids in his Junior class, he is ranked NO 1...and only just turned 14  Last summer he went to a special program that is  invitation only at Princeton and it gives the kids a feel for college life and exposes them to Sci/Math/Chem/Eng. He is already in the National Math Honor Society. He tutors the local college kids in Inorganic/Organic Chem, Physics and Math. He passed a college  sophomore level engineering class last summer w/a 104% avg. The class avg was 76%.  He charges college kids $50 p/60 mins for advanced Calculus 3 and makes a damn good living doing it,

    So back on topic, he told me he is Gay, always has been, feels he is hardwired that way from birth and does not want to be ashamed. My best friend is gay, we have known each other our whole lives and I love him like a brother. I have other gay friends as well, we all agree it is NOT a choice but more or less hardwired into the brain. I told him I loved him as does the whole family and never be ashamed of who you are. He cried for an hour from joy, he them invited his b/f over (who lives close by) he looks just like the Bieber. He confirmed the relationship has been physical and they are very happy together.  I told his b/f I am very happy for the two f them and that from now on my house is a "safe zone" for them. They will always be treated w/kindness and respect and I will provide what ever they need to feel safe from bullies, bigots, assholes etc..I hugged both of them and took some pics and let them know I am avail 24/7 So any other comments from the hive on how to handle this other than the way I have been doing , thx.

Sounds like you love your kid and accept him.  That's the best thing you can give him.

Quoted:










Sounds like you love your kid and accept him. That's the best thing you can give him.

Sounds like your son is an awesome kid who is going places. His orientation doesn't change that, but it sounds like you know that already.

Sounds like you handled it great. Keep being a great dad.

Of course, some will say I am a brainwashed liberal wannabe from NJ, but c'est la vie.

So have you had the talk with him yet? About the bees and the bees I mean.

So he's gay. He can still be a man and a father can still teach him that.

ETA: Physical shit still gets the same talk as if he were straight. At 14, it should be a no-no.

lol

holy shit

You did a great job OP. <Removed.  --tbk1>

can he do my engineering homework for me?

Let it go.

How are you okay with your 14 year old son having a physical relationship with another male? Way to encourage reprehensible behavior, a 14 year old should not be having a physical relationship with anyone. It says a lot about a parent, when a family meeting makes you think your daughter, who is on birth control at 17, is pregnant.

Good job on instilling morals and integrity on those kids of yours.

Sounds like a good kid. Nothing to do other than the safe sex talk.

You realize that you were the first one to start casting stones at people, right?

OP, sounds to me like you handled it right and your son will be fine.

Sorry, that made me laugh.  

Good on you OP, sounds like you are handling everything very well and I don't think you need any pointers or advice from arfcom.

You should probably put this horse shit to rest for him too.


Good job on the rest, be proud.

What the fuck is wrong with you?

From what I read in your post, you're doing well.

I don't know if there's any safe sex advice he should have that hasn't already come up with him but it's something to think about.

Don't expect only serious replies here, though.   You know that, just saying.

Life moves on, he is still your son. As hard as it might be to accept at first, you'll have a better relationship if you learn to accept it.

Advice I can give you? Use a few more paragraphs and a few shorter sentences.


Other than that, be prepared for the shit talkers and bomb throwers who will be along shortly.

He's your son and you love him, just make sure he's smart about who he gets involved with and what he does.

Congratulations on your career's path.

Hey at least he ain't FSA. That would be a problem.

In on one. Good luck with everything OP.

ETA: I just read your entire post and that your best friend is gay and that you have many gay male friends. That had to make the news easier to take being that you've grown up around it.

Yup, cause kids never go and do their own thing anyway. Amiright or amiright?









 

I believe its a combination of things. Some people are just born gay. Also believe environment factors can impact a persons sexuality as well.

I wouldn't dwell on it to much. Accept him for who he is.

Important thing now is to raise him right, so that he is free thinking and loves shooting guns. No need to alienate a group because they are gay, we need as many as possible in the fight against progressives.

Haha I love this response

I wouldn't have said it like this but there's a lot of truth in this statement.

Also you seem way too preoccupied and consumed by your own life with kids in some parts of a crisis  



 

and at what age did you get your first physical contact at?  what do you think the societal norm is today?

they've already been bumping uglies.  would you stop banging some chick you were dating because your parents told you not to?  didn't think so.  like it or not, it's happening.  the best thing he can do is teach him to be safe and hope he makes smart decisions in the future.

Sounds like a good kid and this should not change a thing. Best thing you can do is what you are already doing and support him throughout anything.

Sounds like a good kid.

Get him to the doctor for Gardasil (HPV vaccination) and a briefing about men's health for homosexuals as he will be at increased risk for STIs.

Annnndddd we're off...

He sounds like an amazing kid!
Love him and make sure he
knows how PROUD he's made you and your family and how much he is
unconditionally loved. He can't help who he is, and if there are flaws,
they are hugely overshadowed by the immense ability and potential he
has.
Be there for him. Don't let your job come first. Especially now.
Be his father and be his support. The tears of joy he had from being loved and accepted by you are the greatest gift you and he could share.
I don't know if  you or your family are religious, but if you are, still pray for him to find wisdom and strength and faith and follow God as he matures. Talk to him about the responsibility of being "physical" with anyone (same as if was 14 and said he was "physical" with a girl). Kind of young to be messing too much with that. Way too young for sex, homo or hetero. That's a problem if there is one.
You have a great kid. Love him, lead him and support him.






 

Who cares who he likes. He is your son. You only have one family and to lose any for such a simple reason would be a shame.

If my 14 son was banging anyone I'd be upset. Kids are too young to be able to handle that.

I'm good with everything except the allowing a physical (sexual?) relationship at 14. NO GO. Yes I'm a father of 3 girls and yes it can be done.

IBTL

What's wrong with liking an awesome car.  

Lots of derp here...

Stop fighting it dude.  You should just come out already.


 

He likes the sausage...so what, it sounds like you're handling it great so far, keep doing what you do.

He's your child and you and your family should be there for him...at least until he starts doing really stupid stuff, which being gay is not one of them.

Chris

Birds of a feather shit on member together.

Sounds like your son is a heck of a kid with a bright future ahead of him.  He's going to look back at this moment as probably one of, if not THE, most nerve-racking yet pivotal moments in his life.  I think as a father you handled it great and he couldn't have asked for anything more.

That's terrible

Seriously OP good luck. It sounds like you're already on right path.

I'm not entirely sure at what age appropriate healthy physical relationships should begin. However, is it not at 14, and certainty not with a member of the same sex. Also, it is apparent that the OP does not take a large enough part in his children's lives, as he said so in the OP. I mean, his wife and daughter have known about this for how long and were keeping it from him? Especially with his wife keeping "secrets" from him, OP has a lot more to worry about than his son deciding he is gay.

I wouldn't agree that all gays are hardwired, but the most important thing is that you love and support your children.

Tell him you love him and that its ok to be gay, but its not ok to be a fag.

Then teach him the difference between a gay man and a fag.

My kids are much younger than yours but my best advice dont turn your back on him or push him farther away.
That's all I got

says who?  you?  14 year olds have been getting married and cranking out children for thousands of years.  do some research on colonial America.  

you are right tho.  if he "bans them from having sex" they wont do it anymore.  and gun control works.