Do you ever fap in your sleep? I guess I do.

[ARCHIVED THREAD] - Do you ever fap in your sleep? I guess I do. (Page 1 of 3)

Posted: 9/11/2013 6:20:49 PM EDT

I woke up this morning and my wife had a shit eating grin on her face. I asked what? She asked if I woke up last night or had any good dreams. I didn't think so. Supposedly I was really having at myself.

We haven't had sex in way too long because I feel like shit. In the last two years I got Lyme disease, passed a kidney stone, had my wisdom teeth pulled and broke a tooth. Ugh. I didn't even give myself a happy ending.

Posted: 9/11/2013 6:22:22 PM EDT

[#1]

This is the weirdest thread I've clicked on in a long fucking time.

Posted: 9/11/2013 6:22:36 PM EDT

[#2]

I think this means you need to do your wife.

Posted: 9/11/2013 6:22:51 PM EDT

[#3]

Thanks for sharing with the group

Posted: 9/11/2013 6:22:54 PM EDT

[#4]

Quote History

Quoted:

I think this means you need to do your wife.

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No shit.

Posted: 9/11/2013 6:23:06 PM EDT

[#5]

I do not want to be your friend.

Posted: 9/11/2013 6:23:25 PM EDT

[#6]

Always hittin' the significant other. Get on it man.

Posted: 9/11/2013 6:23:37 PM EDT

[#7]

so your wife just sat there and watched

why didnt she help you out poor guy

Posted: 9/11/2013 6:24:08 PM EDT

[#8]

Thanks for the giggle before bed OP.

Posted: 9/11/2013 6:24:15 PM EDT

[#9]

Quote History

Quoted:

I think this means you need to do your wife avatar.

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FIFY

Posted: 9/11/2013 6:24:16 PM EDT

[#10]

Your wife was smiling because she now is relieved of any duties since you can take care of yourself in your sleep

Posted: 9/11/2013 6:24:20 PM EDT

[#11]

Thanks for sharing

Posted: 9/11/2013 6:24:26 PM EDT

[#12]

I knew better than to click on this thread when I saw the title, and I did it anyway.

Posted: 9/11/2013 6:24:27 PM EDT

[#13]

In for the video.

Posted: 9/11/2013 6:24:33 PM EDT

[#14]

Quote History

Quoted:

I think this means you need to do your wife.

View Quote

Posted: 9/11/2013 6:25:06 PM EDT

[#15]

Maybe you were just real happy about the recall?

Posted: 9/11/2013 6:26:27 PM EDT

[#16]

I don't know how to respond to this. This is going to be good.

Posted: 9/11/2013 6:27:05 PM EDT

[#17]

What, she didn't wake you up with an 'old fashioned'..?

Fail.

Posted: 9/11/2013 6:27:15 PM EDT

[#18]

TMI, dude.

Posted: 9/11/2013 6:29:11 PM EDT

[#19]

Not yet, just pitching tents or the kickstand props me up in the morning.

Posted: 9/11/2013 6:30:04 PM EDT

[#20]

So you didn't even lube first?

Posted: 9/11/2013 6:30:45 PM EDT

[#21]

I wonder if science will ever come up with some solid basis for what possesses people to post something like this.

Posted: 9/11/2013 6:31:35 PM EDT

[#22]

Quote History

Quoted:
I knew better than to click on this thread when I saw the title, and I did it anyway.

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ayup

Posted: 9/11/2013 6:32:04 PM EDT

[#23]

Just FYI.

That camping trip is off, buddy.

Posted: 9/11/2013 6:32:05 PM EDT

[#24]

Quote History

Quoted:
So you didn't even lube first?

View Quote

Who lubes when they jerk?

Posted: 9/11/2013 6:32:18 PM EDT

[#25]

Do you like Gladiator movies?

Posted: 9/11/2013 6:32:39 PM EDT

[#26]

Do you feel gay?

Posted: 9/11/2013 6:33:11 PM EDT

[#27]

Quote History

Quoted:

Who lubes when they jerk?

View Quote View All Quotes

View All Quotes

Quote History

Quoted:

Quoted:
So you didn't even lube first?

Who lubes when they jerk?

Amateurs and hired help.

Posted: 9/11/2013 6:33:58 PM EDT

[#28]

All the time, even better when I have a go at the wife in my sleep and she doesn't even bother to wake me up.

Posted: 9/11/2013 6:34:08 PM EDT

[#29]

<<<<< Not wanting to shake hands with the op.

Posted Via AR15.Com Mobile

Posted: 9/11/2013 6:34:10 PM EDT

[#30]

Now I understand why the goat in your avatar is armed.

Posted: 9/11/2013 6:34:56 PM EDT

[#31]

Damn op I think your account may have gotten hacked

Posted: 9/11/2013 6:35:27 PM EDT

[#32]

Quote History

Quoted:
Now I understand why the goat in your avatar is armed.

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Good Lord....that's the funniest thing I've heard all day.

Posted: 9/11/2013 6:35:35 PM EDT

[#33]

Quote History

Quoted:

Who lubes when they jerk?

View Quote View All Quotes

View All Quotes

Quote History

Quoted:

Quoted:
So you didn't even lube first?

Who lubes when they jerk?

Needs more poll. When you jerk it do you lube? Yes or No.

Posted: 9/11/2013 6:36:57 PM EDT

[#34]

you're kind of a sick fucker, aint you?????

I mean like in your day to day stuff.......

you fuck picnic tables, water fountains, shit like that

prolly shove things in your butt, too

nature was supposed to cull out creatures like you

Posted: 9/11/2013 6:37:03 PM EDT

[#35]

Instead of helping you out, she just observed and grinned?

Eject.

Posted Via AR15.Com Mobile

Posted: 9/11/2013 6:37:57 PM EDT

[#36]

Wanna go camping? I'll bring the imitation crab meat. You bring the CLP.

Posted: 9/11/2013 6:39:33 PM EDT

[#37]

Quoted:

Quoted:
I think this means you need to do your wife.

View Quote

No shit.

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I agree that there is a complete absence of shit in this observation.

Posted: 9/11/2013 6:40:12 PM EDT

[#38]

I asked why she didn't climb on and she didn't want to wake me up and embarrass me. My wife, not the goat.

Posted: 9/11/2013 6:41:01 PM EDT

[#39]

This thread is easy to masterbate to. If I could remember it.

Posted: 9/11/2013 6:41:02 PM EDT

[#40]

Given the chance I'll help out an Arfcommer in need, but you are never sleeping on my couch. I might let you sleep in the yard, but you're gonna have to wrap yourself in plastic.

Posted: 9/11/2013 6:41:04 PM EDT

[#41]

Quote History

Quoted:
I knew better than to click on this thread when I saw the title, and I did it anyway.

View Quote

High five!

Posted: 9/11/2013 6:41:21 PM EDT

[#42]

I will never high five you OP. Never. Even if there's a fire.

Posted: 9/11/2013 6:41:25 PM EDT

[#43]

Quote History

Quoted:
I asked why she didn't climb on and she didn't want to wake me up and embarrass me. My wife, not the goat.

View Quote

Why would the goat be embarrassed?

Posted: 9/11/2013 6:41:46 PM EDT

[#44]

Your hand gay raped you in your sleep. Please never become a Scout Master.

Posted: 9/11/2013 6:42:06 PM EDT

[#45]

I've groped my wife while sleeping, but not that

Posted: 9/11/2013 6:43:11 PM EDT

[#46]

<------backs out quickly

Posted: 9/11/2013 6:43:16 PM EDT

[#47]

WTF....

Posted: 9/11/2013 6:43:41 PM EDT

[#48]

I have to stop drinking so much, I could have sworn I just read a thread in Hd about a guy jacking off in his sleep, hasn't banged wife in two years and still couldn't make himself cum.