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Posted: 9/5/2013 3:11:13 PM EDT
I came in and this jackwad is trying to sell my wife another vacuum. Introduces himself and tells me he's just showing off the new upgrades. I told him that my two year old vacuum was fine and we didn't need a new one.
He BS's me and tells me he gets paid to show them off, I tell him he only gets paid if he sells one and that he's wasting his time. Did I mention that his buddy just dropped him off? My wife claims that they both came to the door and told her that they'd like to show her the new machine. She said no thanks and they said they'd just come in and give her the free gift from Kirby. Once one of them got in the other left saying he had to pick something up. Where??? We living in the middle of fucking nowhere. 
So, back to the story....I tell him that he can pack his shit up and leave, we have other shit to do. He then tells me it's not that simple and that he's waiting for his buddy to come back, so he just as well show me the machine. I told him that if he didn't have his shit out of my house in five minutes that I was going to throw it all out in the yard. He made it with a minute to spare. My wife has now been convinced not to open the door unless it's someone she knows or someone she's expecting. This guy was smelled just like the meth house I was in on a rescue call last weekend. Skinny, strung out and stunk. Does Kirby know who is selling their shit? Does it matter to them at all? TL:DR.....Stutz is an ass and his wife doesn't open the door anymore. |
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Posted: 9/5/2013 3:12:51 PM EDT
[#1]
So why exactly did your wife let him in the house in the first place?
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Posted: 9/5/2013 3:13:44 PM EDT
[#2]
Grumpy cat says Good!
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Posted: 9/5/2013 3:13:55 PM EDT
[#3]
TL:DR.....Stutz is an ass and his wife doesn't open the door anymore. Wow, lives in the middle of nowhere, lets two creeps in the house ? |
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Posted: 9/5/2013 3:15:23 PM EDT
[#4]
That story sucks
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Posted: 9/5/2013 3:15:39 PM EDT
[#5]
Geez, how did that guy not get a gun pointed at him.
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Posted: 9/5/2013 3:16:00 PM EDT
[#6]
Let me get this straight..... You came home early from work and found your wife alone with a vacuum cleaner salesman???
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Posted: 9/5/2013 3:16:06 PM EDT
[#7]
Well, at least it didn't turn out any worse. |
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Posted: 9/5/2013 3:16:08 PM EDT
[#8]
It is part of the sales plan to be left waiting - it is all BS. Good for them for trying to sell something and make some money the legit way... but what a fucking PITA they (salesman) are...
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Posted: 9/5/2013 3:16:16 PM EDT
[#9]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
So why exactly did your wife let him in the house in the first place? That was my first thought |
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Posted: 9/5/2013 3:16:38 PM EDT
[#10]
You and your wife need to have a LONG discussion about safety.
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Posted: 9/5/2013 3:16:39 PM EDT
[#11]
He never should have made it in to begin with.
Now about those wife pics.... |
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Posted: 9/5/2013 3:16:50 PM EDT
[#12]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
So why exactly did your wife let him in the house in the first place? She said the guy was in before she knew what happend. I think it scared her pretty good. |
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Posted: 9/5/2013 3:16:54 PM EDT
[#13]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Wow, lives in the middle of nowhere, lets two creeps in the house ? Quote HistoryQuoted:
TL:DR.....Stutz is an ass and his wife doesn't open the door anymore. Wow, lives in the middle of nowhere, lets two creeps in the house ? I do it all the time. I have still have 13 of them in locked my basement. |
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Posted: 9/5/2013 3:16:56 PM EDT
[#14]
I feel you. Had to give my wife the little kid speech about not opening the door when I am not home as well, she is getting better.
You handled this a lot better then I would have, I would have asked once, and then just proceed to toss him and his shit out in a not so friendly manner. |
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Posted: 9/5/2013 3:17:24 PM EDT
[#15]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Let me get this straight..... You came home early from work and found your wife alone with a vacuum cleaner salesman??? That's the story I read, too.  |
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Posted: 9/5/2013 3:17:49 PM EDT
[#16]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Let me get this straight..... You came home early from work and found your wife alone with a vacuum cleaner salesman??? LOL, yeah that's worthy. Thanks. |
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Posted: 9/5/2013 3:18:10 PM EDT
[#17]
Quoted:
I came in and this jackwad is trying to sell my wife another vacuum. Introduces himself and tells me he's just showing off the new upgrades. I told him that my two year old vacuum was fine and we didn't need a new one. He BS's me and tells me he gets paid to show them off, I tell him he only gets paid if he sells one and that he's wasting his time. Did I mention that his buddy just dropped him off? My wife claims that they both came to the door and told her that they'd like to show her the new machine. She said no thanks and they said they'd just come in and give her the free gift from Kirby. Once one of them got in the other left saying he had to pick something up. Where??? We living in the middle of fucking nowhere.
So, back to the story....I tell him that he can pack his shit up and leave, we have other shit to do. He then tells me it's not that simple and that he's waiting for his buddy to come back, so he just as well show me the machine. I told him that if he didn't have his shit out of my house in five minutes that I was going to throw it all out in the yard. He made it with a minute to spare. My wife has now been convinced not to open the door unless it's someone she knows or someone she's expecting. This guy was smelled just like the meth house I was in on a rescue call last weekend. Skinny, strung out and stunk. Does Kirby know who is selling their shit? Does it matter to them at all? TL:DR.....Stutz is an ass and his wife doesn't open the door anymore. 4/10. No blading. No brandishing. No warning shots with a 12 gauge through the door. OP doesn't deliver. |
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Posted: 9/5/2013 3:18:11 PM EDT
[#18]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
That's the story I read, too.
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
Let me get this straight..... You came home early from work and found your wife alone with a vacuum cleaner salesman??? That's the story I read, too.
Fuck both of you.
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Posted: 9/5/2013 3:18:13 PM EDT
[#19]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
That story sucks I see what you did there.. 
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Posted: 9/5/2013 3:18:35 PM EDT
[#20]
I hope that one guy posts a picture of his "concrete gray" AR in here. This thread would be a perfect segue for showing it off.
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Posted: 9/5/2013 3:19:02 PM EDT
[#21]
Buddy was casing the joint.
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Posted: 9/5/2013 3:19:06 PM EDT
[#22]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
I hope that one guy posts a picture of his "concrete gray" AR in here. This thread would be a perfect segue for showing it off. 
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Posted: 9/5/2013 3:19:20 PM EDT
[#23]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
He never should have made it in to begin with. Now about those wife pics.... Can we modify the rules? If you're going to treat GD like it's 'nam, you gotta be posting from 'nam or you get sent there??? |
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Posted: 9/5/2013 3:20:14 PM EDT
[#24]
Sounds like your wife needs to be (re)trained. She is asking to be a victim. 5 minutes is way too long. I would have had him by the scruff of his neck and out in five seconds.
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Posted: 9/5/2013 3:22:31 PM EDT
[#25]
You got to be careful with strangers like that. There was a story recently in SoCal where two guys posing as "construction" workers knocked on the door of this old lady and told her that they dropped some trash/branches in her backyard while working on a neighbors house. She let them into her house and while one guy went with her to the back door/yard, the other guy snuck in right after them and swiped all kinds of cash and jewelry while they were in the backyard. Watch for "distraction" type thieves.
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Posted: 9/5/2013 3:26:57 PM EDT
[#26]
Kirby came to my house and my wife bought one.
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Posted: 9/5/2013 3:31:17 PM EDT
[#27]
did you let him clean your carpets first...
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Posted: 9/5/2013 3:33:09 PM EDT
[#28]
Not to rag on your wife or anything, but what the fuck was she thinking?
eta Did I mention that his buddy just dropped him off? My wife claims that they both came to the door and told her that they'd like to show her the new machine. She said no thanks and they said they'd just come in and give her the free gift from Kirby. Once one of them got in the other left saying he had to pick something up. Where??? We living in the middle of fucking nowhere |
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Posted: 9/5/2013 3:35:22 PM EDT
[#29]
why the hell would she let him in to start with?
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Posted: 9/5/2013 3:37:07 PM EDT
[#30]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Fuck both of you. Quote HistoryQuoted: Quoted: Quoted: Let me get this straight..... You came home early from work and found your wife alone with a vacuum cleaner salesman??? That's the story I read, too. Fuck both of you. Reported.  j/k |
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Posted: 9/5/2013 3:38:14 PM EDT
[#31]
I let the kid in once on a Saturday. I was bored, we played videogames and bs'e. It was a decent morning. The "boss" came back and when I showed my $50 dirt devil performed as good, if not better than, his $ 1500 Kirby he was pissed. The kid that cleaned my living room room was cool as hell, but I had to tell his boss to get the fuck out of my house before I physically removed him from the property and stomped him.
He actually threatened to call the cops on me. I told him to go ahead, and be sure they send an ambulance too. The whole time the kid is trying to calm me down and de-esacalate things. It was a good Saturday. |
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Posted: 9/5/2013 3:38:17 PM EDT
[#32]
And my Australian Shepherd bit both of them. He has never done that.
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Posted: 9/5/2013 3:39:08 PM EDT
[#33]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Buddy was casing the joint. This was a tarp! Check your stuff. They will be back if they didn't snag anything this trip. Edit: doggy might keep them from returning |
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Posted: 9/5/2013 3:40:55 PM EDT
[#34]
I wouldn't have given him 5 minutes....not even close.
Glad it ended safely for everyone.....wife needs some 'education'. |
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Posted: 9/5/2013 3:41:37 PM EDT
[#35]
don't be mad at the meth head / kirby guy be mad at your wife. you now have 9 months to come up with a name.
 
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Posted: 9/5/2013 3:41:49 PM EDT
[#36]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
And my Australian Shepherd bit both of them. He has never done that. Hide yer dog. |
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Posted: 9/5/2013 3:56:04 PM EDT
[#37]
The prize??
What was the freaking prize??? |
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Posted: 9/5/2013 3:57:21 PM EDT
[#38]
Quote HistoryQuoted: don't be mad at the meth head / kirby guy be mad at your wife. you now have 9 months to come up with a name. |
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Posted: 9/5/2013 3:59:22 PM EDT
[#39]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
The prize?? What was the freaking prize??? They clean your house out free. No more jewelry, guns, cameras, electronic goods, power tools, cash, gold, silver, valuable antiques, art, etc. |
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Posted: 9/5/2013 4:01:09 PM EDT
[#40]
didn't i see this scenario in a porn once?
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Posted: 9/5/2013 4:02:57 PM EDT
[#41]
Quote HistoryQuoted: So why exactly did your wife let him in the house in the first place? |
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Posted: 9/5/2013 4:04:16 PM EDT
[#42]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Hirby Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
don't be mad at the meth head / kirby guy be mad at your wife. you now have 9 months to come up with a name.
If that were to happen I would forever call that kid Hirby. I might call one of my kids that anyway just to fuck with my wife. |
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Posted: 9/5/2013 4:04:40 PM EDT
[#43]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
didn't i see this scenario in a porn once? Yep, it was called the "Salesman, the housewife and what the Vacuum saw". |
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Posted: 9/5/2013 4:12:03 PM EDT
[#44]
Many years ago, my wife made an appointment with one of these people.
I told her, "Fine. You want to sit through the pitch, you do it." I went into another room and vacuumed with our perfectly good machine.
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Posted: 9/5/2013 4:13:52 PM EDT
[#45]
I like the way Kirby guys vacuumed the rug and then shampooed it. The last time Kirby came around - about two years ago - I made it plain that I wasn't buying, but they could clean my rug for free. I also cleaned one of my pistols on the kitchen table while they worked, too. I think that's why they haven't been around since.
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Posted: 9/5/2013 4:14:34 PM EDT
[#46]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Many years ago, my wife made an appointment with one of these people. I told her, "Fine. You want to sit through the pitch, you do it." I went into another room and vacuumed with our perfectly good machine. My wife bought one a couple years ago from a guy some friends of our knew. No bullshit, not wasting of time, just here's what it does and how it works. |
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Posted: 9/5/2013 4:16:33 PM EDT
[#47]
Wonder if he was casing the place? You were much nicer that I would have been.
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Posted: 9/5/2013 4:17:06 PM EDT
[#48]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
I like the way Kirby guys vacuumed the rug and then shampooed it. The last time Kirby came around - about two years ago - I made it plain that I wasn't buying, but they could clean my rug for free. I also cleaned one of my pistols on the kitchen table while they worked, too. I think that's why they haven't been around since. Next time I'll come out with my PC, helmet w/NVGs and giggidy rifle. I'll tell the boys to take up their overwatch positions and have my wife flex cuff him. 
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Posted: 9/5/2013 4:23:43 PM EDT
[#49]
I've never done meth in my life. That smell is because I have a thyroid problem.
Joke's on you though, cuz your wife gave me your credit card #. I'm gonna buy 2 of everything Larue makes. |
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Posted: 9/5/2013 4:25:09 PM EDT
[#50]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
I've never done meth in my life. That smell is because I have a thyroid problem. Joke's on you though, cuz your wife gave me your credit card #. I'm gonna buy 2 of everything Larue makes. One for me and one for you. 
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