The other renter thread made me feel that posting this here might get some good feedback.

We just bought our first house a few months ago.  The garage has a full loft above it that would make a nice efficiency apartment.  I've had a couple of contractor friends look at it and quotes are in process to turn it into a complete living space.  I figure that in the area, I can offer it as an 'everything included' (Utilities, cable, sewage, garbage) for about $550 a month and make out OK.

Enter the first shitter in the works:  I screwed up and mentioned it to my mother, who lives in an apartment about ten miles away, has three cats, smokes like a fiend, and is on social security/state rent assistance/etc.  She's 70 so it's not like I expect her to have a job, but her and dad made HORRIBLE financial decisions and she's really just living on the old people check.  I mention I'm doing this to increase the value of the property and augment my income, and she still insists that it would be PERFECT for her and 'Her state rent rebate may as well go to me instead'.

Her state rent rebate is like $170 a month.  It won't even cover the gas for the 75 degrees she'll want to keep it, much less the destruction from cats and chain smoking.  Nevermind it's going to have two flights of stairs so you can bet she'll be harassing me to bring her shit all the time.

She's really a great mom and very supportive of me, always glad to have us over for dinner, constantly finding us stuff for the house, but I can't bring myself to dump money into this thing just for her to essentially ruin it.  Not sure what to do.  This puts me in a crisis of conscience between telling her she can't afford it, shooting myself in the foot and throwing money away and letting her have it, or just not doing it to avoid the hassle.

Mind you, when I say smoker, I don't mean casual.  I mean the white walls in her current apartment are brown, the air is like smog, and I think her turtle died of lung cancer.  She changes the cat boxes only when they are nearly overflowing.  I've told her numerous times that I can barely stand being in her house and unless she airs it out for hours ahead of time, I literally will run in, drop something off, and run right back out.  I've got horrible breathing problems as an adult due to her and my father prioritizing smoking over my health and as a result won't abide by it near me, much less in a property I own and am taking a construction loan to improve.

What's the hive think?

TL;DR:  Mom wants to move her smoking self and three cats into a brand new apartment I'm putting in, and has little to no money to boot.

That's your Mom dude.

Answer is easy, no Mom.  We need to charge $550 a month in order to help with our mortgage.  Love you sorry!

Just say no.

Tell she can have the cats and move in (apartments can be cleaned) but she has to quit smoking.

Let's face it, smokers are a fire hazard when it comes to property.
It think that would a fair compromise.

HAAAAAAAAAAAAAhaaaaahhahahahhahahahhahaaaaa!

You fucked up.


plant some catnip.

+1

Sucks major ass, but I can't say no to family. I would tell her she needs to smoke outside though.

No.



I don't get why people have such a hard time saying that to people.  Especially to family.



Eric  

What about her safety? Does she live in a first floor apartment with no stairs now? Since she is 70 what if she falls and breaks a hip on your property? If that happened would she be able to climb the stairs into the apartment, or would she be living in your house at that point?

LOL.  I love this response.

I know it's my mom.  But shit, she's FINE where she's at.  The only thing she doesn't have is proximity to me to irritate me and have me run errands constantly.  As it is she only leaves the house twice a month...  If she was homeless or going hungry it would be no choice, but she's FINE.  When I need a new vacuum cleaner I wait for a paycheck;  She just gets one.  LOL.

No smoking, no pets.  I wouldn't rent any other way.  That being said, it is a non-issue if she can't even make the minimum payment.  If your mother was destitute and nearly living on the street, you have a moral obligation to take care of her (in my world) but that stops well short of burning down your house for her convenience.

Absolutely NO FUCKING WAY, Jose.


You have no idea of the world of fuck that will enter your life (and that of your wife's) if you go down this road.....

Yeah. It's your mama. Make her smoke outside or quit though.

you have a no smoking clause in your insurance, it is 750 a month the contractor found some structure changes he has to do

No. She's a complete asshole about smoking.  Says it is 'part of her persona' and that it's rude to ask her to go outside.  I seriously have to tell her no three or four times every time she even comes for a visit or random times that I've had to take her somewhere in my car.

She's one of those Smokers, not a smoker.  If you get my drift.

Tell her she can have it, but only when it is ready and is a legally habitable space. Just have your contractors take their sweet ass time, wait her out, and maybe you'll get lucky and she'll die before it's finished.

Is it bad that I thought this?

Probably.

From what I have read so far, it is a firm "NO!"

You can add a "FUCK" in front of it if you'd like.  I probably would.

This.  Saying no does not make you a bad person.

Wow.

You've made up your mind. Not sure why you needed a thread about it.

Yeah, this place is going to have two flights of steps to get into.  It's a horrible idea.

Like I said, she won't really gain anything --  At all -- Except proximity to me and one store she likes.  It's a lateral move for her and a huge fucking headache for me.

Problem:  Mom's at least part jewish and acts ALL jewish.  The guilt trips this woman is capable of...  I mean it's like she's wearing a crown of thorns 24/7.

I'm sorry but mom or not, if I owe a mortgage payment on a property I will NOT take less for anyone. And as far as smoking and the cats No way in hell. Mom or not, but if I rent this house out it will be to non-smokers and pet-free family. From the horror stories I've heard here, it just isn't worth my time. Just tell her you have a someone already lined up for the house that you already told they could move in as soon as you got the repairs done.

Jeeze I'm kidding here.

"Mom, we have to have a minimum of $550 a month come in to make this work to cover the bills, utilities, and insurance, and it would skyrocket with a smoker and pet owner in the space.  If you quit smoking and give the cats up for adoption, and can afford the monthly payment, and you're comfortable with all the stairs, then maybe we can talk about it.  Otherwise sorry, this won't work."

Or it it's my mom, a simple "No."

I wouldn't do it


No need to lie or be mean. She would be a terrible renter on most accounts and would cost you greatly. The first trick in being a profitable landlord is to make as few mistakes as possible - Renting to her would be a mistake.

I love you mom but I dont feel like its a good idea.

Do not elaborate. Do not make a list of reasons, as she will only try to prove why your reasons are wrong.

You need the money to supplement your mortgage payment.

Do do not need cat smell, smoking smell and a mom that is 5 steps and a door knock away.

Your are screwed

Fair enough. I am probably being sensitive because of my own Mom.

Good luck with the restoration.

If she is 70 and smoking that much she won't be around that
much longer. You have three choices, not build, build and tell
her no, build and let her move in under conditions that you
cite. If you do it nicely it won't be a problem. Tell her no pets
and no smoking indoors and let here make the choice.

Upon re-eval with further info, EJECT! Family ties only go so far.

thats fuckin nasty

no way i would let that happen

"Mom, I have no problem with you moving in.... IF you quit smoking, get rid of the cats, and pay me $550 a month! I'm trying to do this to increase my income, when I had the idea to do the upgrade I assumed you were happy where you were at... Sorry!"

- Clint

Sorry, Mom. The loan contract states that the place must be rented for at least $550 for the length of the loan. Tell you what though, I'll get a respirator or some scuba gear and come help you more often. Love you. By the way, I was given a huge box of those pine tree air fresheners. Take a couple hundred.

"It's already been promised away, mom."

This.....

Great.

Now I am going to have nightmares.

Just as likely to last forever, if she was predisposed to getting cancer, it would have happened 20yrs ago.

No way.

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What does your wife say? I'd just let mine handle it. No way in fuck would she let my mom live within 100miles let alone upstairs.

Hard wire a smoke detector in every room (per "code"). Wire them to one of those air horns you can get for your Peterbilt. Give her a tour when work is completed.

I guess I'm going against the flow here but,

My Mom gets whatever she wants. Period, end of story.

If it wasn't for her.....I wouldn't be here.

The American way is to stuff mom into a state run "retirement" home.

Did she beat you? Burn you? Abuse you?

If no, she moves in and keeps her rent rebate. WTF is wrong with you? You came out of her vag, btw.

The thing is that she's desperately trying to get more time with me.  I'm the only kid, dad's dead, etc.

I've told her repeatedly -- REPEATEDLY -- I can't breathe the air you create.  You made me sick as a kid and it still affects me.  STOP SMOKING and you'll have time with your son.  Otherwise, no.

Of course, just like when they were taking me to the doctors with constant bronchitis, asthma, ear infections as a kid and the doctor said STOP SMOKING AROUND HIM she's finding other excuses, 'the distance' or 'he is just too busy'.

When I was a kid, it was 'I stayed up too late', 'My friend's house has a wood stove', 'must be too much dust in the school', you name it.  Anything but the obvious.   Anything but the smoke.

What the fuck do I do?  She's the typical mom of an only child, beams with pride at everything I do, constantly brags me up, would literally give me anything at any point but she will not face the one fact that keeps me limited to an hour a month visits or less...  GAD this pisses me off, how can she be so damned nurturing and momlike and still so completely suck at life?

I could go on about their financial decisions that they tried to wrap me into, and the fact that I started my independent life with collections and judgements, and how I had to overcome all that...  But that's just extra.  This is just a horrible fucking idea and I have no idea how to get out of it without being a scumbag ingrate etc.

Did you provide her with a copy of your 'Renter Selection Criteria' that would allow you to deny her application?  

This. Short and to the point.

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Tell her your wife sad no.

You offload all the butthurt.
Profit.

This. Then take the cats for a walk by the Chinese take out place.

Yes, that makes perfect sense.  Children are slaves.  Forward to progress!