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Posted: 10/13/2012 5:50:19 PM EDT
[#1]
Chuck Norris created page 2 for me.
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Posted: 10/13/2012 5:52:42 PM EDT
[#2]
They were going to name a hurricane Chuck Norris. But there is no such thing as a category 9000 hurricane
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Posted: 10/13/2012 5:54:19 PM EDT
[#3]
Chuck Norris never won an acting award. . .because he wasn't acting!
Posted Via AR15.Com Mobile |
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Posted: 10/13/2012 6:00:09 PM EDT
[#4]
Chuck Norris invented crop circles... because sometimes grass needs to lie the fuck down.
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Posted: 10/13/2012 6:03:03 PM EDT
[#5]
Chuck Norris once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.
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Posted: 10/13/2012 6:05:17 PM EDT
[#6]
Quoted:
Chuck Norris wanted to grow up to be another CSM Basil Plumley. CSM Basil Plumley and Chuck almost flipped a coin for the Honor. Chuck intentionally lost after losing a his first and only stare down. 
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Posted: 10/13/2012 6:07:21 PM EDT
[#7]
There were four people present at the creation of the universe: God, Jesus, The Holy Ghost, and Chuck Norris.
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Posted: 10/13/2012 6:12:11 PM EDT
[#8]
Quoted: Chuck Norris once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it. Let's not go stealing Bill Brasky jokes. |
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Posted: 10/13/2012 6:14:22 PM EDT
[#9]
Chuck Norris can clog a toilet with his piss.
Chuck Norris can win a game of connect 4 in 3 moves. Chuck Norris can kick start a Buick. Chuck Norris can ride a wheelie on a unicycle. |
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Posted: 10/13/2012 6:20:10 PM EDT
[#10]
We write our name in the snow with piss, Chuck Norris pisses his name into concrete
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Posted: 10/13/2012 6:25:17 PM EDT
[#11]
Chuck Norris successfully installed OS-X on an Etch-a-Sketch.
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Posted: 10/13/2012 6:29:42 PM EDT
[#12]
Quoted:
Quoted:
Chuck Norris once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it. Let's not go stealing Bill Brasky jokes. Chuck Norris then regurgitated the stripper and she was not only unharmed, but pregnant. Bill Brasky is that child. |
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Posted: 10/13/2012 6:37:39 PM EDT
[#13]
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Posted: 10/13/2012 6:57:47 PM EDT
[#14]
Ghosts are the souls of people that Chuck Norris has punched.
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Posted: 10/13/2012 7:17:27 PM EDT
[#15]
God brought Chuck Norris to Heaven, and asked if he'd help run things.
God was sitting on a big throne, with a smaller throne on each side; the right hand throne had Jesus sitting in it. God asked Chuck if he had anything to say. "You're sitting in my seat". |
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Posted: 10/13/2012 7:19:13 PM EDT
[#16]
Fact chuck norris has read his facts.
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Posted: 10/13/2012 7:21:11 PM EDT
[#17]
Quoted:
Chuck Norris created page 2 for me. He is a giver!!! |
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Posted: 10/13/2012 7:23:14 PM EDT
[#18]
bULL sHIT. (sERIOUSLY??) |
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Posted: 10/13/2012 7:30:15 PM EDT
[#19]
"These young boys grew up to be the 1972 Miami Dolphins - the only team in NFL history to play a perfect season."
Not quite correct. The '76 Tampa Bay Bucs and '08 Detroit Lions for sure also had perfect seasons. |
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Posted: 10/13/2012 7:30:53 PM EDT
[#20]
Chuck Norris once bet NASA he could survive re-entry without a spacesuit. On July 19th, 1999, a naked Chuck Norris re-entered the earth's atmosphere, streaking over 14 states and reaching a temperature of 3000 degrees. An embarrassed NASA publicly claimed it was a meteor, and still owes him a beer.
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Posted: 10/13/2012 7:37:25 PM EDT
[#21]
Chuck Norris once took a piss in the ocean...the city of Atlantis has not been seen since.
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Posted: 10/13/2012 7:44:41 PM EDT
[#22]
And Matt Damon beat up like 50 stunt men. |
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Posted: 10/13/2012 7:44:58 PM EDT
[#23]
I tried to do a search on google for Chuck Norris:
Google won't search for Chuck Norris because it knows you don't find Chuck Norris, he finds you.
Your search - Chuck Norris - did not match any documents. Suggestions: Run, before he finds you. Try a different person. Try someone less dangerous. |
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Posted: 10/13/2012 7:47:21 PM EDT
[#24]
Chuck Norris doesn't cheat death. He wins fair and square.
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Posted: 10/13/2012 7:48:20 PM EDT
[#25]
Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.
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Posted: 10/13/2012 7:55:47 PM EDT
[#26]
Little-known fact: Chuck Norris is simply normal, and everybody else is super weak.
Chuck Norris didnt dial the wrong number......you just answered the wrong phone Chuck Norris's daughter had her viginity taken...............but he got it back |
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Posted: 10/13/2012 8:03:46 PM EDT
[#27]
Proof that being more awesome than Chuck Norris is just as fatal as claiming to be as awesome as Chuck Norris |
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Posted: 10/13/2012 8:21:39 PM EDT
[#28]
There is no chin under Chuck Norris' beard...just another fist.
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Posted: 10/13/2012 8:23:18 PM EDT
[#29]
Chuck Norris was born in Ryan, Oklahoma on March 10th, 1940.
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Posted: 10/13/2012 8:38:39 PM EDT
[#30]
Chuck Norris doesn't know where Waldo is, he is the reason the fucker hides. Chuck Norris knows where Carmen Sandiego is at all times.
When Alexander Graham Bell plugged in the very first phone he had three voice mails from Chuck Norris waiting. |
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Posted: 10/13/2012 9:00:31 PM EDT
[#31]
Quoted:
bULL sHIT. (sERIOUSLY??) Quoted:
Proof that being more awesome than Chuck Norris is just as fatal as claiming to be as awesome as Chuck Norris Chuck Norris as other well known martial artists in the 1960s were training with Bruce Lee. Joe Lewis and Mike Stone were very upfront about this, but Chuck Norris has down played his time with Bruce Lee as merely two guys getting together to train. However, after the death of Bruce Lee, Lees appointment book was made available and it had notations such as "Tuesday 1:00pm lesson for Chuck Norris". This supported the belief Norris was there for lessons with Bruce Lee.
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Posted: 10/13/2012 9:05:38 PM EDT
[#32]
Figures...
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Posted: 10/13/2012 9:09:25 PM EDT
[#33]
Check Norris can drown a fish.
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Posted: 10/13/2012 9:14:19 PM EDT
[#34]
Obama believes himself to be the second coming of the Messiah, God has assured Chuck Norris that is not the case.
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Posted: 10/13/2012 9:17:55 PM EDT
[#35]
Albert Einstein once told Chuck Norris that the roundhouse kick was not a very good way to attack somebody. Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked Albert Einstein in the head and to this day Albert Einstein is known to the world as Steven Hawking.
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Posted: 10/13/2012 9:22:24 PM EDT
[#36]
Contrary to popular belief, Chuck Norris, not the box jellyfish of northern
Australia, is the most venomous creature on earth. Within 3 minutes of being bitten, a human being experiences the following symptoms: fever, blurred vision, beard rash, tightness of the jeans, and the feeling of being repeatedly kicked through a car windshield. |
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Posted: 10/13/2012 9:29:04 PM EDT
[#37]
There's no "control" button on Chuck Norris' computer.....because Chuck Norris is always in control.
If you have $5 and Chuck Norris has $5, he still has more money than you. Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird. Chuck Norris can eat just one Lays potato chip. Chuck Norris sneezes with his eyes open. Chuck Norris doesn't sleep. He just waits. |
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Posted: 10/13/2012 9:31:30 PM EDT
[#38]
Chuck Norris can cut through a hot knife with Butter.
He can believe its not butter, and he can eat only one Lays. |
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Posted: 10/13/2012 9:32:07 PM EDT
[#39]
Quoted:
Chuck Norris successfully installed OS-X on an Etch-a-Sketch. 
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Posted: 10/13/2012 9:33:00 PM EDT
[#40]
Chuck Norris doesn't sleep. He simply waits
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Posted: 10/13/2012 9:38:29 PM EDT
[#41]
Chuck likes to play games
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Posted: 10/13/2012 9:39:34 PM EDT
[#42]
After a hard night of partying, Chuck Norris does't throw up - Chuck throws down.
Chuck Norris once had a disagreement with a dinosaur. They all paid the price. |
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Posted: 11/13/2012 8:53:05 PM EDT
[#43]
Chuck Norris can blow out an electric candle.
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Posted: 11/13/2012 8:58:34 PM EDT
[#44]
Chuck Norris once had a stare down with himself.
The mirror flinched. |
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Posted: 11/13/2012 9:02:17 PM EDT
[#45]
Quoted:
Chuck's favorite and most deadly punch is the legendary neck punch, He learned it one night outside a bar He was in the bar drinking when someone through darts at his waitress. Pretty tough since Chuck was only 4 at the time ARFCOM winner, winner chicken dinner 
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Posted: 11/13/2012 9:05:27 PM EDT
[#46]
Quoted:
Chuck Norris doesn't flush the toilet... he scares the shit out of it. Chuck Nirris once wald down the street with a boner... no one survived dude are drunk or just having a stroke? |
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Posted: 11/13/2012 9:07:43 PM EDT
[#47]
My personal favorite.
Chuck Norris jokes are old as the internet and no longer funny. |
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Posted: 11/13/2012 9:08:59 PM EDT
[#48]
Ghosts sit around the campfire at night and tell Chuck Norris stories.
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Posted: 11/13/2012 9:10:09 PM EDT
[#49]
Chuck Norris can Ranger-roll a kevlar.
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Posted: 11/13/2012 9:14:58 PM EDT
[#50]
It was just a movie. |
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