Warning

 

Close

Confirm Action

Are you sure you wish to do this?

Confirm Cancel
BCM
User Panel

Site Notices
Arrow Left Previous Page
Page / 2
Posted: 6/16/2012 8:40:02 PM EDT
Granada Spain fire-fighters avoided the need for a penis to be amputated after it got stuck in a steel cylinder after a 52 year old man had placed it there in what appears to be part of a sexual act.
Dr.'s couldn't get it out, so a firefighter went home and brought back his circular saw to cut it off...
A spokesman from the fire-service said it was the first time they had intervened in a hospital operating theater, although they are often called to extract organs trapped in vending machines, such as fingers or arms.



http://g1.globo.com/planeta-bizarro/noticia/2012/06/homem-e-resgatado-com-penis-preso-em-cano-de-aco-na-espanha.html
Link Posted: 6/16/2012 8:44:13 PM EDT
[#1]
"I fell"
Link Posted: 6/16/2012 8:44:44 PM EDT
[#2]
No no no no no no no no no no no no NO.
Link Posted: 6/16/2012 8:45:34 PM EDT
[#3]



Quoted:


"I fell"


"ONE IN A MILLION SHOT!"



 
Link Posted: 6/16/2012 8:47:29 PM EDT
[#4]
If you violate RULE #1, which is: "Don't EVER stick your dick in anything it might not come back out of." At least follow RULE #2. "If you're going to do that stupid shit anyway, don't do it in a country that doesn't have HIPAA-style rules, and would allow a news crew into the ER."
Link Posted: 6/16/2012 8:47:50 PM EDT
[#5]
Fingers, penises, hands. Same difference.
Link Posted: 6/16/2012 8:48:09 PM EDT
[#6]


Link Posted: 6/16/2012 8:48:34 PM EDT
[#7]
A circular saw?   Holy shit.  I'm surprised that didn't turn into an amputation anyways.
Link Posted: 6/16/2012 8:50:52 PM EDT
[#8]
A circular saw to cut it?



I guarantee the tube got HOT.



I really think this could have been solved by a big dose of valium, a squirt of KY, and some careful manipulation of the entrapped junk.





CJ
Link Posted: 6/16/2012 8:53:03 PM EDT
[#9]
Damn I think a circle saw is bit overkill for something so delicate... I would have used my handy Dremel tool
Link Posted: 6/16/2012 8:54:42 PM EDT
[#10]
Quoted:
<snip> manipulation of the entrapped junk.


CJ


That's how he got into this predicament...
Link Posted: 6/16/2012 8:55:12 PM EDT
[#11]
Quoted:
If you violate RULE #1, which is: "Don't EVER stick your dick in anything it might not come back out of." At least follow RULE #2. "If you're going to do that stupid shit anyway, don't do it in a country that doesn't have HIPAA-style rules, and would allow a news crew into the ER."


"Have an exit strategy."
Link Posted: 6/16/2012 8:56:15 PM EDT
[#12]
You just can't make this shit up.
Link Posted: 6/16/2012 8:57:09 PM EDT
[#13]
The sound of that saw firing up, coupled with the thought it was going to be used near my penis would probably result in shrinkage sufficient to negate the need for said saw.
Link Posted: 6/16/2012 8:59:38 PM EDT
[#14]
Link Posted: 6/16/2012 9:00:02 PM EDT
[#15]
Quoted:
Damn I think a circle saw is bit overkill for something so delicate... I would have used my handy Dremel tool


Sounds like he has a, much bigger "pipe" than you.
Link Posted: 6/16/2012 9:04:16 PM EDT
[#16]
Link Posted: 6/16/2012 9:04:36 PM EDT
[#17]
Quoted:
"I fell"


I saw a cartoon in Hustler magazine once years ago.

Some gay looking dude was laying on an examining table with no pants on and a bowling pin sticking out of his ass.

A doctor was examining him, and the caption was a quote from the doctor:

"So, while naked, you ACCIDENTALLY got a bowling pin stuck up your ass?"

Link Posted: 6/16/2012 9:08:29 PM EDT
[#18]
Quoted:
The sound of that saw firing up, coupled with the thought it was going to be used near my penis would probably result in shrinkage sufficient to negate the need for said saw.


No shit!  When I went in for my vasectomy, my wife came with me.  I needed some moral support since the Dr. said that this would be fairly painful compared to most other nut cuts.
Apparently I have very short and fat tubes which would require lots of tugging and cause lots of pain.  Just before the procedure, I swear I looked down and thought I was back in pre school with the little mushroom cap that was there.  

I have had a couple of operations, been beaten up boxing, but this was one of the worst pains ever.

PSA, if you have short tubes, ask for some versed.
Link Posted: 6/16/2012 9:15:22 PM EDT
[#19]
Link Posted: 6/16/2012 9:15:32 PM EDT
[#20]
Quoted:
Damn I think a circle saw is bit overkill for something so delicate... I would have used my handy Dremel tool


Flute your skin flute? What for faster penetration? Give 'em some good ol' "blood grooves" for when it's her time of the month?
Link Posted: 6/16/2012 9:19:55 PM EDT
[#21]
Quoted:
They couldn't fill it with lube and air it up from the opposite end and force it out?


"Stupid should hurt."
Link Posted: 6/16/2012 9:21:37 PM EDT
[#22]
Reading things like this sometimes makes me embarrassed to be a part of the human race.
Link Posted: 6/16/2012 9:25:50 PM EDT
[#23]
Link Posted: 6/16/2012 9:26:58 PM EDT
[#24]
Having a hard time understanding this. He must have had an erection that wouldn't subside.
 Otherwise, shrinkage should solve the situation. Ice water?
Link Posted: 6/16/2012 9:36:23 PM EDT
[#25]
Quoted:
Having a hard time understanding this. He must have had an erection that wouldn't subside.
 Otherwise, shrinkage should solve the situation. Ice water?


Unless... he's a sadomasochist. Which in this case he probably is.
Link Posted: 6/16/2012 9:41:36 PM EDT
[#26]
Why would ANYONE think that would be a good idea. He deserves to lose his dink.
Link Posted: 6/16/2012 9:43:44 PM EDT
[#27]
Link Posted: 6/16/2012 9:45:45 PM EDT
[#28]
Quoted:
Damn I think a circle saw is bit overkill for something so delicate... I would have used my handy Dremel tool


this is exactly what i was thinking.
Link Posted: 6/16/2012 9:46:44 PM EDT
[#29]
Quoted:
http://www.ar15.com/media/viewFile.html?i=29212

I remember reading some news blurb where some guy way rubbing one out up against a belt sander (for whatever reason) and it ripped his sack off.





I remember that...  he also stapled the wound closed with a staple gun and worked the rest of his shift.  

My first thought was "holy shit, that guy has brass balls."




My second was "...well, ball."  
Link Posted: 6/16/2012 9:51:01 PM EDT
[#30]
The expression on the nurse's face on the right is priceless!


 I woulda put a fitting on the end of the pipe ,hooked it to a compressor and  one way or the other,Jorge's chorizo is coming out or that pipe is getting pressure tested to failure.

Posted Via AR15.Com Mobile
Link Posted: 6/16/2012 9:53:58 PM EDT
[#31]
Quoted:
"Been doing good things his whole life, but you get your dick stuck in a pipe once, and nobody remembers the good things you've done, he's just Bill the pipe fucker now." (mangled goat joke)


Angus slammed his empty beer mug down on the bar and bellowed

"But ye fook one sheep!"

Can we tie this into the Adele thread?
Link Posted: 6/16/2012 9:59:13 PM EDT
[#32]
I slipped and fell.
Ya we get that a lot.





























I am sorry we don't got a code for robot hand grasping a man's penis.
Link Posted: 6/16/2012 10:04:44 PM EDT
[#33]
Well, thanks for the addition to my sig line.
Link Posted: 6/16/2012 10:10:23 PM EDT
[#34]
Quoted:
A circular saw to cut it?

I guarantee the tube got HOT.

I really think this could have been solved by a big dose of valium, a squirt of KY, and some careful manipulation of the entrapped junk.


CJ



or




Link Posted: 6/16/2012 10:12:37 PM EDT
[#35]
no substitute for a fleshlight.  If thats your thing.
Link Posted: 6/16/2012 10:12:41 PM EDT
[#36]
Three step process.

#1 Pitcher full of ice water dumped on his crotch.
#2 Picture of Moochelle Obongo, Hillary, or Rosie O.
#3 slap the shit out of the freak if it's still stuck.

Link Posted: 6/16/2012 10:22:10 PM EDT
[#37]
Quoted:
Quoted:
A circular saw to cut it?

I guarantee the tube got HOT.

I really think this could have been solved by a big dose of valium, a squirt of KY, and some careful manipulation of the entrapped junk.


CJ



or


http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_9Bx0L3n3uAo/S9iq5oX4XGI/AAAAAAAAHY8/Q-O4piWmDl8/s400/pelosi4.jpg



I was going to say show him a pic of rosey odonald, but you're right, that's much worse.  Instalimp!
Link Posted: 6/16/2012 10:28:37 PM EDT
[#38]
Quoted:
The sound of that saw firing up, coupled with the thought it was going to be used near my penis would probably result in shrinkage sufficient to negate the need for said saw.


Yep!  Mine would have disappeared.  Shrunk so far up they'd think I was a girl.
Link Posted: 6/16/2012 10:33:40 PM EDT
[#39]
Quoted:
Quoted:
http://www.ar15.com/media/viewFile.html?i=29212

I remember reading some news blurb where some guy way rubbing one out up against a belt sander (for whatever reason) and it ripped his sack off.





I remember that...  he also stapled the wound closed with a staple gun and worked the rest of his shift.  

My first thought was "holy shit, that guy has brass balls."

And several days later when he went to the ER it was swollen to the size of a cantaloupe, and purple, and full of puss




My second was "...well, ball."  


Link Posted: 6/16/2012 10:38:52 PM EDT
[#40]
They should have filled the tube with ice water.
Link Posted: 6/16/2012 11:01:07 PM EDT
[#41]
Quoted:
Damn I think a circle saw is bit overkill for something so delicate... I would have used my handy Dremel tool


I really bet that is what they use.
Link Posted: 6/16/2012 11:26:23 PM EDT
[#42]
dude, i meant you need to lay some pipe, not get laid with some pipe......
Link Posted: 6/16/2012 11:29:37 PM EDT
[#43]
Liquid Nitrogen.
Quoted:



http://www.ar15.com/media/viewFile.html?i=29212






I remember reading some news blurb where some guy way rubbing one out
up against a belt sander (for whatever reason) and it ripped his sack
off.








As stated above: He used a pneumatic stapler to put himself back together, but then had a problem when the staples started to rust.



 
Link Posted: 6/16/2012 11:34:43 PM EDT
[#44]
One way in, no way out.
Link Posted: 6/16/2012 11:41:11 PM EDT
[#45]


So, which Spanish Arfcom "member" isn't posting tonight?


Link Posted: 6/16/2012 11:44:59 PM EDT
[#46]
You don't need a saw. Just hook up some compressed air to the other end and that little pecker will pop right out.
Link Posted: 6/16/2012 11:47:28 PM EDT
[#47]
Quoted:
They should have filled the tube with ice water.



Would that really work??  I don't have the right equipment to test the theory..
Link Posted: 6/16/2012 11:48:02 PM EDT
[#48]
Quoted:
They couldn't fill it with lube and air it up from the opposite end and force it out?


air embolism can kill.
Link Posted: 6/17/2012 12:03:32 AM EDT
[#49]
Link Posted: 6/17/2012 12:04:35 AM EDT
[#50]
Arrow Left Previous Page
Page / 2
Close Join Our Mail List to Stay Up To Date! Win a FREE Membership!

Sign up for the ARFCOM weekly newsletter and be entered to win a free ARFCOM membership. One new winner* is announced every week!

You will receive an email every Friday morning featuring the latest chatter from the hottest topics, breaking news surrounding legislation, as well as exclusive deals only available to ARFCOM email subscribers.


By signing up you agree to our User Agreement. *Must have a registered ARFCOM account to win.
Top Top