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Posted: 9/16/2010 8:07:11 AM EDT
Cleanup In Aisle Three  SEPTEMBER 15––What kind of a guy goes into Walmart, takes a Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue from the magazine rack, heads to the store’s toy section, and proceeds to masturbate to completion in the aisle? Meet William Tyler Black. The 28-year-old Floridian, a substitute teacher, was arrested yesterday afternoon by Sarasota cops on battery and exposure of sexual organs charges, according to a probable cause affidavit, a copy of which you’ll find here. A store employee told cops that Black "ejaculated onto the floor and wiped his hand on a toy along with rubbing his foot in the suspected semen on the floor.” Employees reported that Black "discarded the magazine behind some toys and proceeded to the front of the store.” A police source told TSG that the toy in question was a light saber (apparently of the Star Wars variety), and that the magazine Black used was the 2010 SI swimsuit issue with model Brooklyn Decker on its cover. Though published in February, the Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue can still be found on sale months later at many retailers. When cops confronted Black, pictured in the above mug shot, he said he was in the store "shopping for a toy for his daughter.” He was hit with the battery on a child count since investigators concluded that a "reasonable person would believe that a child would come in contact with the fluid on the toy being that it was left in the toy aisle of the store.” Click here for a photo of the scene of the alleged crime.  |
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Posted: 9/16/2010 8:09:09 AM EDT
[#1]
I'm assuming he's a marijuana user
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Posted: 9/16/2010 8:09:18 AM EDT
[#2]
That's one sick SOB.
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Posted: 9/16/2010 8:11:31 AM EDT
[#3]
What? None here have ever whipped out your junk and masturbated in public?
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Posted: 9/16/2010 8:12:19 AM EDT
[#4]
It's like I have all these jokes trying to get out at once and they're all jammed up with each other, like when the Three Stooges all try to get through a door at the same time.
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Posted: 9/16/2010 8:12:57 AM EDT
[#5]
Another weird phrase to add to the list: "masterbate to completion".
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Posted: 9/16/2010 8:13:07 AM EDT
[#6]
Florida.....
Forgive them Lord, they know not what they do. |
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Posted: 9/16/2010 8:13:45 AM EDT
[#7]
Quoted: I'm assuming he's a marijuana user No, his hair looks too clean and he is probably drug tested for work. Besides if he was a Marijuana users, he probably would have had his kid jack him off instead. Nice try. ETA: He is to clean shaven as well. |
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Posted: 9/16/2010 8:14:02 AM EDT
[#8]
Quoted:
I'm assuming he's a marijuana user Ummm....what? |
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Posted: 9/16/2010 8:14:08 AM EDT
[#9]
First read I thought it said he was being charged with battering his sexual organs
Then again, I guess he is |
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Posted: 9/16/2010 8:14:57 AM EDT
[#10]
I am no longer going to scoff at the people that use the antibacterial wipes on shopping carts.
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Posted: 9/16/2010 8:15:17 AM EDT
[#11]
I've got to hand it to him, that took balls.
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Posted: 9/16/2010 8:16:23 AM EDT
[#12]
Quoted: I've got to hand it to him, that took balls. And a complete lack of a fucking brain. What a dipshit. |
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Posted: 9/16/2010 8:16:33 AM EDT
[#13]
Say bye-bye to your teaching career.....
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Posted: 9/16/2010 8:16:45 AM EDT
[#14]
Quoted:
What? None here have ever whipped out your junk and masturbated in public? hes sick for doing it in the toys aisle. i like the bed and bath aisles myself. Posted Via AR15.Com Mobile |
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Posted: 9/16/2010 8:16:52 AM EDT
[#15]
Quoted: Quoted: I'm assuming he's a marijuana user Ummm....what? He is sore about another thread. |
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Posted: 9/16/2010 8:17:07 AM EDT
[#16]
Quoted:
What? None here have ever whipped out your junk and masturbated in public? No, but I once had sex in someone else's boat without permission. |
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Posted: 9/16/2010 8:17:31 AM EDT
[#17]
Quoted:
I've got to hand it to him, that took balls. And a penis. |
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Posted: 9/16/2010 8:18:18 AM EDT
[#18]
Quoted: Florida..... Forgive them Lord, they know not what they do. fuck it i love Florida because no mater how bad you fuck something up there is a guy like this you can point to and say "see at least i didn't jack off in the toy isle." |
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Posted: 9/16/2010 8:18:33 AM EDT
[#19]
Quoted:
Quoted:
What? None here have ever whipped out your junk and masturbated in public? No, but I once had sex in someone else's boat without permission. Mmmmmmmmmm. |
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Posted: 9/16/2010 8:19:45 AM EDT
[#20]
Wow, sick man. Do you think his lawyer can get him off?
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Posted: 9/16/2010 8:20:34 AM EDT
[#21]
Why
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Posted: 9/16/2010 8:20:46 AM EDT
[#22]
 |
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Posted: 9/16/2010 8:22:05 AM EDT
[#23]
Quoted: I'm assuming he's a marijuana user No, a marijuana user would have strolled by the personal care area first and found a hairbrush to shove up his ass. |
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Posted: 9/16/2010 8:22:32 AM EDT
[#24]
Yet another reason why I'm not a fan of Walmart,and from what I've read this isn't the first time some squatjob has rubbed one out in wally world.
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Posted: 9/16/2010 8:23:24 AM EDT
[#25]
Quoted:
Wow, sick man. Do you think his lawyer can get him off? Zing... |
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Posted: 9/16/2010 8:23:31 AM EDT
[#26]
All the way to completion too... That means someone behind the security camera was watching and maybe masturbating to completion as well
Posted Via AR15.Com Mobile |
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Posted: 9/16/2010 8:24:05 AM EDT
[#27]
Quoted:
What? None here have ever whipped out your junk and masturbated in public? I used to on a plane, then Bin Laden ruined that.... 
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Posted: 9/16/2010 8:24:39 AM EDT
[#28]
Quoted: Wow, sick man. Do you think his lawyer can get him off?  |
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Posted: 9/16/2010 8:25:09 AM EDT
[#29]
Cops should have shot him on the spot...
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Posted: 9/16/2010 8:25:16 AM EDT
[#30]
WHat the fawk?!?
I wonder if he bladed.
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Posted: 9/16/2010 8:26:06 AM EDT
[#31]
Quoted:
Quoted:
Florida.....
Forgive them Lord, they know not what they do. fuck it i love Florida because no mater how bad you fuck something up there is a guy like this you can point to and say "see at least i didn't jack off in the toy isle." Alright, I LOL'd. " Yeah Mom, I shouldnt have dropped out of med school, but at least I didnt get arrested for spanking my shit in the toy isle like Billy did"... HAHAHA !! 
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Posted: 9/16/2010 8:26:36 AM EDT
[#32]
Thanks a lot Osama bin Laden.
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Posted: 9/16/2010 8:27:16 AM EDT
[#33]
Quoted:
I am no longer going to scoff at the people that use the antibacterial wipes on shopping carts. 
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Posted: 9/16/2010 8:28:04 AM EDT
[#34]
Quoted:
Cops should have shot him on the spot... They were too busy laughing. |
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Posted: 9/16/2010 8:28:19 AM EDT
[#35]
Quoted:
Wow, sick man. Do you think his lawyer can get him off? I see what you did there..... |
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Posted: 9/16/2010 8:30:11 AM EDT
[#36]
Quoted: Quoted: I've got to hand it to him, that took balls. And a penis. and a firm yet loving grip. |
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Posted: 9/16/2010 8:30:16 AM EDT
[#37]
How do you look at your family or daughter after getting busted for this...
This man has no shame
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Posted: 9/16/2010 8:31:47 AM EDT
[#38]
Quoted:
Quoted:
I've got to hand it to him, that took balls. And a complete lack of a fucking brain. What a dipshit. I wonder if he had a sense of humor about it. Posted Via AR15.Com Mobile |
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Posted: 9/16/2010 8:32:44 AM EDT
[#39]
Dupe
http://www.ar15.com/forums/topic.html?b=1&f=5&t=1091298 |
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Posted: 9/16/2010 8:35:00 AM EDT
[#40]
Quoted:
Wow, sick man. Do you think his lawyer can get him off? I think the guys gets off too easily and that is the problem; his lawyer won't matter unless she is good looking. |
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Posted: 9/16/2010 8:35:13 AM EDT
[#41]
Ditto. This is the best response so far. |
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Posted: 9/16/2010 8:35:45 AM EDT
[#42]
Another one??!!!
Posted Via AR15.Com Mobile |
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Posted: 9/16/2010 8:36:24 AM EDT
[#43]
Im going to drink my iced tea to completion
Posted Via AR15.Com Mobile |
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Posted: 9/16/2010 8:36:37 AM EDT
[#44]
Uh...hmm... not sure where to go w/ this.
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Posted: 9/16/2010 8:40:03 AM EDT
[#45]
Already read this once this morning...
http://www.ar15.com/forums/topic.html?b=1&f=5&t=1091298&light= Still just as disturbing... |
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Posted: 9/16/2010 8:45:59 AM EDT
[#46]
You know, yesterday I was thinking the monkey who was faace-fucking that frog was a perverted SOB, but I think the bar has just been raised
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Posted: 9/16/2010 8:48:40 AM EDT
[#47]
am i the only person who hates the trumped up battery charges? whats wrong with lewd/lasc behavior or indecency in public, or whatever they bust you with for peeing in public that automatically turns you into a sex offender?
sure the guys is fucking nuts and definitely needs to lose his job, sex offender status, a good beatdown and jail time but fuck, trumped up charges are fucked up. I just cant fucking stand trumped up charges. |
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Posted: 9/16/2010 8:53:44 AM EDT
[#48]
I love how they point out that he did it "to completion". Like it somehow would have been better if he hadn't finished. Geez.
ETA: Well, I guess the "battery" charge wouldn't have been there, so maybe they have a point. Still... |
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Posted: 9/16/2010 9:05:29 AM EDT
[#49]
Quoted:
That's one sick SOB. this! |
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Posted: 9/16/2010 9:10:52 AM EDT
[#50]
So wait, he was caught before completion? Did he look in their eyes and finish?
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