I keep hearing from church friends and just good Christian friends that you can only find a good spouse,mate whatever term in the confines of a church setting and I well, don't believe that to be true. I don't want to say I am tuning out church or anything in the middle of a divorce but I am evaluating the future I want to build as I go through the legal battle now. Once I am done with my degree I am bowing out of church work for awhile and not getting my masters at my current college. I frankly don't know what to believe but I now see where the church has taken verses out of context in regards to divorced people. I haven't gone off the deep end into hookers and blow and just went to my normal routine of gym, work, church and quite frankly I am bored.

I think the verses you refer to are warning against a Christian marrying a non Christian.  Which I agree, is a bad choice.  The rest of your post, I haven t got a clue what you meant.

The best women are to be found on ARFCOM.  @FW_wife  

I know that but churches like to use the term husband of one wife way out of context when dealing with staff

Absolutely fantastic woman, congrats to you and be safe on your deployment.

If arf had a dating app I would be on it lol

What God has joined let no man tear apart or whatever the exact wording is.

You can disagree with it, but if you got married and you believe you did it in front of God and then go and get re-married you're committing adultery.

I'm not casting any judgement on you, my fathers on his 3rd divorce and I wouldn't be here if he hadn't married the last woman, but the Bible is pretty clear on divorce.

It is?  Who was given the Water of Life again?

Jesus replied, “Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning. 9 I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery.”

Not sure where the water of life would have anything to do with this.

You are correct, sir.

Ugh... no.

You are young. Get through the divorce first. Worry about becoming established in a career and focus on YOU.  You have time.

I am doing quite well, i have been focusing on my health and trying to survive college. I start training to be a trainer this summer and have a vehicle on the way. did 8 weeks of divorce counseling thats making me see the world in a new light and off my medications.

That is excellent news!!!

It's not easy as it is one thing after another but thats life. tried to enlist but my counselor isn't releasing me for awhile but gives me time to work on me

Did Moses permit anything that God did not agree with?

I'm tracking with you OP.

Like so many things "we" (the American Christian Church) have taken what Jesus (and Paul) said and twisted them into some kind of knot so "churches" can maintain and justify control over people.

In Matthew 19:3 Once again it says that the Pharisees came to Jesus to TEST him.  They asked him what they thought was an absurdly  obviously  rhetorical question (because this is the way they had been doing things for a VERY LONG TIME).

They asked; "Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for ANY cause at all?"

They asked that question because that is exactly what they had been doing. If wife number 27 over cooked the eggs this morning they would "give her a certificate of divorce" and kick her to the curb.

The Pharisees had a serial marriage gig going and because they were the most important people in a community they had their pick of the hawt womez. They took advantage of it and probably had multiple "young" wives.  Human nature hasn't changed at all in 6000 years. (The husband of one wife?)

Jesus tells them they are "one flesh" and that God created men from the beginning to cleave to his wife and that what God has joined together no man (by rules, traditions, laws?)  should separate. (separate=come between-entice away either physically or emotionally?)

The Pharisees then ask; "Why then did Moses COMMAND to give her a certificate AND Divorce her?   Deuteronomy 24: 1-4

Deuteronomy says that if a man finds that there is some issue and she finds NO FAVOR or there is some "indecency" (Favor =grace, pleasantness, favor.  Indecency= sexual issue) in her.....(a lack of satisfaction in his soul or some kind of sexual perversion or immorality in her....are the words and ideas) then he CAN write her a certificate of divorce.....but it is NOT a commandment in the sense that he MUST send her out.

The Pharisees had twisted and perverted that idea into; "all I have to do if I'm not happy with her for whatever reason I want (like she is no longer a virgin?) is write her a certificate of divorce and kick her to the curb".

Jesus says that Moses PERMITTED them to divorce their wives and write a certificate of divorce BECAUSE OF THEIR HARDNESS of HEART. BUT.....it was not like this from the beginning. (Original sinless world or from the time of Moses-take your pick---the Pharisees had corrupted the ideas).

Jesus then goes on to amplify and clarify what Moses did say.....or....like Jesus always did......makes the law WAY MORE than what it was and how it was being practiced by the religious leaders of the day-  Jesus goes on to say that whoever divorces his wife EXCEPT for sexual immorality  and marries another commits adultery.  Like the story of the good Samaritan and thoughts about lust and committing adultery, and the woman at the well ....Jesus makes sure we all understand that we are all guilty of a sin deserving of death and that none of us no matter how religious or "righteous" make the cut.

The other thing that Jesus just did was publicly accuse the Pharisees of being serial adulators.



Everyone who has been here on Arfcom more than 87 seconds has read threads about the Arfcom curse.  Everyone here who is old enough to marry knows about the hot/crazy matrix.  Everyone here knows couples that should not be together.  I was married to such a woman once. Her heart was stone cold hard. She was no longer willing to participate in the marriage.  It happens.....God knows it....Moses knew it......the solution was to provide for some form of separation and move on with life in a way that is more glorifying to God instead of the anger and bitterness that happens between two people when they are not WILLING to be together.  (God hardens the hearts that He chooses).  

Thankfully, mercifully, blessedly my first marriage ended.  I was absolutely no good to Him while involved in a relationship where there was no grace or favor. Not for one minute do I regret that it ended.....nothing good, or wholesome, pure, or peaceful was coming from it. We weren't even in the same book-let alone on the same page. Paul says not to be unequally yoked together with unbelievers.  Good advice.

I discovered what a true Godly marriage was and have experienced the very best that God has for me in the past 10 years and even though in many ways this relationship is harder.....and I wouldn't wish it on anyone else...this marriage is full of grace and favor and peace and the contrast to everyone is shocking.  I am blessed but it's not really about me.  Am I a sinner.....yep.  An adulterer, a murderer, unholy, unloving, arrogant, prideful, yep, yep, yep, yep yep..... Saved by His grace.....yep.   It's all about Him.  

We in America have taken these ideas and just like the Pharisees turned them into something Jesus never intended-cause that's what we do as sinners.  Our legalism is equally as sicking to Him.  

I'm also going to quickly point out that marriage was a religious matter and not secular......I don't believe that the state has any business being involved in my private religious matters.  (Walls of separation work both ways if you want to play that card).