Before I begin I'd like state I have no desire to provide my denomination or type of church I attend, but it is a christian church so I think that's enough.



Our church has, perhaps, 300 families total but I could easily be off.  That's just my best guess.  I've been a member there for 7-8 years and am very comfortable with how my family has integrated there and how much like family others have come to mean to us.  We usually get to church almost every Sunday without fail.  Our church also has regular services throughout the week as well as special services such as major religious feasts or events.  Our priest does keep pretty busy.  



He's always strived to remind us to try and come to more services whenever possible; the past 6 months or so he's really been pushing it.  Now I get it; being a priest part of your job is to get people to come to church more often.  Now I would say that about 95% of the total members of our church are working families.  When our priest complains that there was a major feast service held during the week and the same 10-20 people attended and no one else, well, I get that he wants more people to come but damn, since most of us have full time jobs AND families to raise, it does make it hard to get there during the week.  



Those 10-20 people I mentioned typically fall into the following categories:

1) Married & no children

2) Single & no children

3) Retired members

4) Elderly members (65+)

5) Teachers (since they'd have the summer off or get off work at 3:30 or so)



I have always taken the position just try to do the best I can.  Sure there are plenty of Sundays where work has absolutely beat me down and I just want to rest but I try to make it and go to service.  When i was a kid the same mantra was drilled into my head too and when i became a young adult it really kinda warped my mind because I was trying to meet these obligations yet pretty much no one else my age at the time ever went to church and it really opened my eyes.  I felt like I had no social life and I did want to spend more time with friends.  Well I suppose I went through that phase in my life where young adults are gonna do what they want to do but I grew out of that and came back to church.  



I know in the back of my mind that if I can do the best I can, then that should be fine.  But still, it really rubs me the wrong way sometimes when I know that everyone else recognizes the fact that the majority of families are working families and their time is very limited, especially with kids thrown in the mix.  I just don't like hearing that message over and over because it reminds me of that same thing I heard when i was a kid.

How far is it to an alternative which would suit you?

Just stay with what your comfortable with. Maybe try another church for awhile and when you return maybe he will get it that he was pushing to hard.

My church is big on the phrase "family first", which I agree with.

However if my spouse, my kids, and I went to every activity/meeting our church makes available, family would not be first, and I have a problem with that.

From personal experience I need a proper balance between family, spouse time, spirituality, career, fitness etc.

Without fail if I get stressed or have a tough time with life I can look at these areas and see something isn't in balance. Fixing it fixes the problem.

"Remember, if you  don't prioritize your life, someone else will." Greg McKeown (Author of Essentialism, an excellent book with a framework to deal with these issues)

OP, from the clues you planted in your post, I think we're both the same denomination.

i've been in a parish where people really make the effort to get to all the feast day services. That was a crazy convert parish, though.

Current priest is a little more understanding, says for example, that if you can't get to all special services during Lent, then come to 1-2. Or the services at the beginning of Holy Week but from Holy Thursday evening on, arrange your schedule to make it to everything.

That being said, not going to church on Sunday because you're too tired doesn't really cut it with me. What sort of example are you showing your kids? You can nap on Sunday afternoon if you have to. Skip coffee hour after the service, but go to the service.

That being said, I'm single and I go to everything unless I'm sick. Really sick. I'm not always at my parish because I will go visit friends, but I will attend services at their parish.

Well from what you describe you are either Orthodox  or Catholic. Why do you attend Church? Is it for the Community? Is it for the Sacrifice of the Mass?

There are Feast Days that must be attended. If you go for The Eucharistic, wouldn't you want to go every day?

I belong to an awesome parish. There is one weeknight mass per week, wed nights.  We get 40-50 people regularly, spanning Navy families with newborns to a couple families with 4,5,6 kids, to retirees.  More attend durning Lent and Advent.

Holy Thursday mass (not an obligation) was standing room only.

Our priest doesn't have to nag people to attend those services.  He built a culture that makes people want to attend those services, and go to confession, and participate in adoration. It's awesome.

OP - if you're beat down, you're beat down.  Stay home, but rest or spend the time with your family doing someting together.  I don't go every Wed night, but when I can make it work, I do.  It's a great example to your kids to go to mass when you don't "have to"

Have you spoken to the priest about it? It can't hurt to have an honest conversation about it. I know you don't want to say which church you attend but if it is one that practices Holy Confession I don't see how it could be avoided in good conscience. Our priest also pushes attendance for all services but especially Feast Days, Sundays and Holy Week. He is also very quick to say if you are unable to attend due to work that is not a problem. I take leave for the major Feasts and for Holy Week but I know that is not possible for everyone.

Ultimately church is a place to come together and praise God. We get the bonus of having our "spiritual batteries" recharged. I'm not mentioning Holy Mysteries because not all churches recognize them. If you don't come out of most services feeling good something is wrong. There are numerous guides to getting the most out of a church service, perhaps it would help to find one for your particular church and pick it up?

Edit for spelling

What ever he did needs to be studied, codified and passed out at every parish nationwide.

We're terrified the Bishop is going to snatch him for a diocesan job.  He is the chaplain for Norfolk/VAB's only Catholic high school and does a lot with youth ministry so that helps him the case for him to stay.

He's just an great priest and since he is a convert, he truly appreciates what the RCC has that is different from his Protestant upbringing.  He walks the line between traditionalism and some of the modern ideas pretty well.  Services are reverent and there is frequently a brief (3-5 min) adoration period following communion.  OTOH, we use a lot of EMHCs.  We don't have a deacon so there are typically 3 EMHCs with the Body and 3 with the Blood at the crowded masses.  Fewer at the Saturday vigil and weekday masses.

Just before I joined, a parishoner started a men's group that is following the "That Man is You" program.  We averaged 40-45 men, ages 18-93 every Saturday from 0630-0800 and about half that through the summer when we ran a lower key program.  Many of the men who participate in the group have joined parish ministries, have started participating in confession regularly, and make monthly holy hours.

Holy Trinity in Norfolk, VA.  If any of you are ever in town, please swing by and check it out.

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"That Man is You" is an outstanding program! I recommend all Churches to take it up. At my Church, We had a Baptist minister and a Morman come to the classes/sessions, so they could take them back to their respected churches.