Last night my wife and I were getting our son ready for bed.  We were laying together in our bed reading a book.  All of the sudden the dog jumps off the bed growling.  Then he barked.  Now normally, the dog barks at squirrels and cats but not at night.  So then my wife tells me she just heard the front door open.  With that I grabbed the Sig out of her night stand and headed for the top of the steps.  Front door was open.  Yup, there was someone rustling around in our kitchen.  I had the gun aimed at the spokes/left side of the stair case in case they rounded the foyer and tried coming up.  Might have been an error on my part but I yelled "HELLO?!!?"....

I hear..."sorry, I didn't call ahead but I brought some food over"....it was my mother-in-law.  

What I noticed about myself was that I was pretty calm.  Heart wasn't pounding.  No tunnel vision.  More baffled how someone got in so quietly more than anything.  Maybe I'd have felt different if the weather stripping was visibly broken from the door being kicked in?  But yeah, overall, freaky but turned out okay.

Not sure what I would have done different if it would have been an actual intruder.  I mean, at the top of the steps, I control the upstairs unless they randomly start blowing holes in the ceiling, which I've never heard of intruders doing, and even if that's the case I'd fly down and empty the mag.  Plus, for just this situation's reason...I'm not automatically calling the cops.  

-Emt1581

Don't tell me your mother n law has keys to your house.

If so, get new locks, and a pair of balls. If not, lock your doors at night.

Seriously, nobody needs a key but you and the wife.

This^^^^
If for no other reason than so you don't shoot your MIL in the middle of the night thinking she was a bad guy.

You did the right thing. If all your family was upstairs, your objective was to prevent anyone meaning to do them harm from getting up there. Clearing a house safely by yourself is dangerous work. Far better to defend a choke point, and call the cops if you are pretty sure you have an intruder.

This is why I like the ranch style home we live in right now that have all the bedrooms on the same straight hallway.

Consider it a good dry run. Sounds like your dog is earning his keep too. Sounds like he would have really given you a few extra important seconds if it was fo real.

It would be odd to change the locks on your MIL. Just explain nicely to her, that she has to call ahead and announce herself when coming over. For everyone's benefit.

This thread screams simunition.



This solves everything with maximum mental correction and minimum to no bodily damage.

" I tell you, no pride in workmanship anymore, the key broke off in the lock when I was bringing in groceries. I guess it was all the weight in my hands. Anyway, they don't make things to last anymore, so I had to get a new set of locks. Good ones this time at least. Just make sure to call before you come over so we can let you in."

"Thanks, love you "

Simunitions??  I don't follow.  I grabbed a gun, positioned myself at the top of the steps, took aim and then identified the threat...what exactly would simunitions have done differently (when training)??

For those of you saying she shouldn't have a key...this is the first time she's ever come in like that unannounced and I'm pretty sure it'll be the last.  But she needs to have a key as she's our back-up for our son to pick him up and take care of him if need be.  

Again, this was just a freak occurrence that's never happened before.  

Only reason I posted was to illustrate the importance of identifying a threat.  Let's say this was at night, downstairs was dark.  Heard a noise, door was open and commotion could be heard indicating someone was indeed in the house.  You may have conditioned yourself to hit the light/flashlight and prepare to fire on whatever...but in my case, taking that extra second to ID grandma saved a LOT of problems.  That's pretty much the ONLY person that would have made me lower the weapon as well.  Anyone else would have been toast or on the way to the hospital had they tried anything.

-Emt1581

Thanks for sharing. It's nice to hear you stayed calm when you thought you may have been in danger. When we lived closer to our neighbors, I always told my wife to make sure her keys were close by to her. My neighbors and I were close, so they knew if a car alarm was on for a longer than normal period of time, there was possible danger. It's always good to incorporate others into a safety plan.

OP, are you and your wife a young couple?

The whole idea of a MIL, or hell, my own mother, letting herself into my home with a key at an odd time of night with the family there with no call ahead is full of WTF I almost cannot even process it. Unless your wife and her Mom plan to live TV-sitcom-style, where nobody ever knocks, you need to nip that shit in the bud.



Unless it is a flatout emergency, or rules that you trust the other family member to respect, like daytime during lunch hours only, for example, you need to really put your foot down and tell them CALL FIRST, and then KNOCK, and wait to be let in. What the heck is up with some people?

Conversely, if you are an older couple, maybe the MIL is getting a bit senile / Alzheimer-y? Because if this is out of the blue, it's kind of concerning.

No, she's not senile.  Like I've said, this is the first time she did it, and when she heard me yell down, I think she knew she screwed up (good intentioned as she was) which is why she apologized right away and several times after that.  I'm just glad it was a pistol and not racking a pump or anything dramatic.  She'd have probably dropped right then and there.  

-Emt1581

FPNI

I might have done the same OP, good on you for at least going to condition yellow.

Pics of visitor?

For some reason, anytime my wife thinks she hears a door closing - or something similar, enough to get me out of bed - and I go to inspect, I never have tunnel vision or even the slightest increase in heart rate.

Not sure why. You would think that would be a prime scenario for that sort of reaction.

In a defensive situation you want to use a souped up paintball.  How are you going to explain to a jury that you felt that your life was in danger...but you decided to use non lethal force.

I hope you told her how you had a gun and were investigating the unannounced intrusion?
She needs to know that this will be your SOP to unannounced visitors entering your home. This is obviously important to her safety but also to yours. In the future you don't want to act to a real home invasion with a mind set that its your mother in law and be slowed in your reactions.

Either she calls ahead or, worst case, knocks loudly then calls out loudly if/when she enters your home.

Live far enough from all family that NONE of them shows up without calling first.

Good thing this isn't GD.

What round for Mother in Law ?

That would be an epic thread.

My god Emt1581, there's a lot of drama in your life.  Every other thread you start, I'm thinking, just WTF kind of bizzarro world does he live in.

Others have addressed the a MIL with keys dropping by late at night with snacks, so I'll just comment on this gem:


You'd give up the high ground, controlled access to the upstairs where your wife and storybook-age kid are, to expose yourself in a handgun assault on the first floor vs an armed intruder?

Really?

I'm sure there was a hint of sarcasm in his statement. Additionally, in his hypothetical scenario, he's taking fire from beneath the floor. There's no safe ground and the aggressor cannot be located. What other suggestions would you have for eliminating the threat?

He never hypothesized that there was fire coming from below. He states he's never heard of that happening.  There is a tI me for rushing in and "emptying the mag" but I don't see this as being one.

As the homeowner emt knows his homes lay out, that's the biggest advantage he has. Moving till contact is plausible and feasible in some cases but not in this one. Stand fast, hold what you got and take a second to allow the situation to develop.  Prior to leaving the bedroom ( he is itching for action)  inform the wife of your intent....

Use the 5 point contingency plan GOTWA.
Going....where I am going specifically ( honey I'm going downstairs, I'll move through the kitchen , then dining room etc...) so she knows where he is vs the intruder. Before emt leaves he provides time to consolidate the kids and wife into the safest room upstairs.
Others I'm taking with me...not terribly applicable here
Time....I will be gone. "Honey I will be downstairs for 5 minutes and I will check in with you verbally (or whatever has been practiced)
What ......to do if I don't come back up after 5 minutes. (Ideally she is armed) stand her ground up top, dials 911. She doesn't join emt in the mix.
Actions ....on contact for both. If emt makes contact the wife calls 911 and continues to hold the high ground with kids. She doesn't move. Period. Somehow the intruder makes it past emt and is upstairs....emt then fights his way back to his family. Consolidates  and reorganizes while waiting for the cops to arrive. They still don't leave the safe area upstairs and inform 911 how many there are in hiding,  specific location within house and the location of the dead intruder..

This whole contingency plan (providing you rehearse it) takes a matter of seconds.  Call it a tactical pause to allow the situation to develop.

I rent.  Others have keys to house, like landlord for landlord stuff.



My extended family is odd about locking doors and everyone having keys, I am designated house sitter and problem chaser so I have keys but I am the only one who calls ahead even if we talked the day before and they know I will be dropping by.  I don't call when house sitting, just when someone is there.



The thing missing in the original post is how the door opened 2 inches and caught on the chain.  Or it did not open because katybarthedoor or the bar jamb or just the 200lb weight bench by the door stopped the door from opening.



The original poster mentions that perhaps he would have felt differently if it looked like it had been kicked in, should not be able to be kicked in without taking pieces of door jamb and framework with it.



Everyone is different and some folks might get along with the mother in law, I figure at least one person in the world might have that situation.



But honestly, at night check that all doors and windows are locked and all vehicles secured and all toys put away and that doors are chained or blocked shut.



Then deploy lego block booby traps as needed.  But they are just lego toys, not actual booby traps even if they do seem to act as such.  Sames for for certain hot wheels cars that act a bit like a skateboard.



If I am home and asleep a simple key will not just let anyone into the home.  That is how it should be.



It might be different during the day when I am awake and dressed and doing normal stuff.



But at night, you need to work on your castle concept.  

Even my kids know that unexpected visitors are risking life and limb. They better remember the countersign.

I'd use it as an excuse to shoot my MIL.

Get a house alarm.  Even if it's not armed, the door chime is still active.

I'm confused. What's not hypothetical in this situation being that he said it would never happen yet gave an action plan for the circumstance?

How do mistaken identity shootings work out? God forbid you mistake the MiL for a badguy, and kill her, are there repercussions CCW-wise? After all, you did fail to properly identify the target before shooting...

What?!?

Both sets of parents have keys to our house, along with a best friend who house sits occasionally if we're gone a long time. Thought of giving them to a couple of neighbors as well for same reason.


Hope folks don't live their lives locked away in paranoia?

Neighbors get keys. Parents? Oh fuck no.

Parents of each spouse would be given a key the day or a couple of days before they needed it such as before we went on vacation. The key would be returned to us when we came back home. Even at that, there would be no entry after dark, and there would always be a phone call initiated one of the parties within an hour or two of arrival.

Notification is a stupid easy step to take to avoid problems.

Dont you have a bolt you can throw on the inside to make sure the door isnt opened without your permision?
I get it that another family member should have s spare set of keys just in case, but walking in just like that? Dude you need to have a conversation. What if you were having sex in the kitchen or living room?
Another thing. Target ID before shooting is so important yet often overlooked. More military style shooting focuses on putting rounds down range and not nearly as much time spent on the ID process, which is so very important in the civilian world. You'll draw you gun on your kids, wife, wife friends, kids frineds that stayed over unnanounced, and God knows what else, it will happen 100 times before you end up with a real criminal on your sights.
FerFAL

That's actually not a bad idea.  I mean on the screen door we do, but it's just one of those hooks through an eye-screw.  I'm not the fondest of locks that I can't undo from the outside.  Not for other's sake but for my own.  A chain might not be a bad idea.  That way if it's locked and I'm the one on the outisde, I can yell in to open up.

As for having sex in the kitchen, we have granite tops and I'm still paranoid about fracturing them.  I did make a swing for the doorway though out of a chin-up bar....

She definitely got the drift today though.  She was emphatic that she'd never walk in like that again.  I'm guessing my wife told her how close she came to being killed.  

-Emt1581

Nobody gets our keys. Spares are kept outside, in hidden but accessible place in one of those key lock units. 2 strategic people know the combo.

 

Yup, ID is CRITICAL. My brother is ALIVE today because I didn't just shoot at people coming in the door at 3am.

 

Interesting thread.  The only time I have ever drawn a weapon not on the range and because of fear for my family it was a crash in my house that ended up being a suction cup toy holder in my toddler daughter's bathroom.  

Honestly I'm just fine with living a tier 0 life.

The first time I drew a weapon on a person was abt 11 PM when there was a loud banging at the basement door. I was abt 14 YO and working on a project in the basement.

Only my Mother and sister were home. We had been having trouble with folks in the area, peeping Toms, mostly.

I had a 16 ga double barrel and after I called repeatedly to find out who was banging, I ran and got it.

I carefully opened the back kitchen door and saw a figure.

I drew a bead and called out.

It was my Father, playing a joke on me.

I explained to him how close he could have come to getting killed if I were some trigger happy idiot.

He didn't seem to care or pay any attention. Maybe he was embarrassed, IDK.

In the years since, I've been drawn down on and drawn down. Been shot at and shot at. Spent a couple hrs in jail before being bonded out, on one occasion.  Etc.

Not something to take lightly and avoid at most any cost.

YMMV.

It's not unheard of for homeowners to inadvertently shoot family members coming in late at night.

There was a thread in GD a while back about a sheriff's deputy down south who shot his own teenage daughter as she was sneaking back in the house after a night of partying. She lived, iirc.

It seems to me if someone else has keys to your home, they must understand that they are to never arrive unannounced, esp. at night.

I typed and deleted a response three times. I'm just going to chalk it up to different parts of the country, and different backgrounds. No one in my family would just drop it without a call first - they would consider it rude - and yet everyone would get their feelings hurt if someone said they didn't feel welcome to stop at any time.

I'm the only one who locks my doors/closes my garage when home.

If someone stopped by while food was out, they would be expected to sit down and join everyone to eat.




I guess I feel sorry y'all can't trust your parents to exercise good sense about when to come over, and in what manner. That just makes me sad.