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Posted: 8/16/2014 1:07:21 PM EDT

[#1]

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Quoted:
Thank you very much for that link. I read everything that they had, and it was helpful. I know she wants to get this over with as fast as possible, she had already told me so. Myself, I have the patience of a saint, but I don't know how to turn that into leverage within the next week or so before mediation. Because, if that doesn't work, we then go to court. Even though I am very patient, I hate mind games. I'm a busy guy, and when I'm not busy, I'm trying to rest. I wouldn't mind putting this behind me at all. I just don't want to be taken to the cleaners in the end, that's all. I'm worried that there is some "step" or "rule of thumb" or "yardstick" if you will that I am not aware of, that I would be able to use, at least to get me into the ballpark. I guess I'm just worried that I don't know what I don't know, and that can be a very bad thing, and I really can't afford to make any mistakes with this. I hope you all understand. Thanks again for all of your help and support!

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Quote History

Quoted:
Thank you very much for that link. I read everything that they had, and it was helpful. I know she wants to get this over with as fast as possible, she had already told me so. Myself, I have the patience of a saint, but I don't know how to turn that into leverage within the next week or so before mediation. Because, if that doesn't work, we then go to court. Even though I am very patient, I hate mind games. I'm a busy guy, and when I'm not busy, I'm trying to rest. I wouldn't mind putting this behind me at all. I just don't want to be taken to the cleaners in the end, that's all. I'm worried that there is some "step" or "rule of thumb" or "yardstick" if you will that I am not aware of, that I would be able to use, at least to get me into the ballpark. I guess I'm just worried that I don't know what I don't know, and that can be a very bad thing, and I really can't afford to make any mistakes with this. I hope you all understand. Thanks again for all of your help and support!

Quoted:
Does anybody in Fl have experience in mediation? It sounds like forensicdoc is specifically stressed about that.
ETA-Maybe this will help you OP? http://floridamediationcenter.com

Never done mediation for a divorce, but I have for a malpractice case (don't ask).

You'll do fine. There is no grilling, there is nobody getting in your face, and nobody assassinating your character/competence/whatever (if that comes, it's later at trial). In my case, the parties were sequestered in different rooms (after an opening presentation by both sides), and the mediator bounced back-and-forth between the rooms with offers/counter-offers/etc until it was over.

It literally took all day... but other than the general hassle factor, it was fine.

ETA: mediation rules may be different for Florida

Posted: 8/16/2014 1:30:11 PM EDT

[#2]

Thank you very much for your input. I am expecting it to take all day, that's why I wanted it on a Friday, so that I didn't have to worry about getting back here for work the next day all burnt out and tired (about a 3 hour drive, each way). I am planning on bringing some snacks, caffeine gum, 5-hour energy drinks, and the like. I just don't know what to expect. I know she wants this to be done ASAP, I know why, and that makes me feel bitter. I hope I can restrain that bitterness and think clearly, but after not speaking to her or seeing her for so long, I'm worried about making a goofy mistake which will haunt me. I just want to limit the damage to me, so that I can move on. I guess I'm also worried about 'what happens next.' I hope all of that makes sense.

Quote History

Quoted:

Never done mediation for a divorce, but I have for a malpractice case (don't ask).

You'll do fine. There is no grilling, there is nobody getting in your face, and nobody assassinating your character/competence/whatever (if that comes, it's later at trial). In my case, the parties were sequestered in different rooms (after an opening presentation by both sides), and the mediator bounced back-and-forth between the rooms with offers/counter-offers/etc until it was over.

It literally took all day... but other than the general hassle factor, it was fine.

ETA: mediation rules may be different for Florida

View Quote View All Quotes

View All Quotes

Quote History

Quoted:

Quoted:
Thank you very much for that link. I read everything that they had, and it was helpful. I know she wants to get this over with as fast as possible, she had already told me so. Myself, I have the patience of a saint, but I don't know how to turn that into leverage within the next week or so before mediation. Because, if that doesn't work, we then go to court. Even though I am very patient, I hate mind games. I'm a busy guy, and when I'm not busy, I'm trying to rest. I wouldn't mind putting this behind me at all. I just don't want to be taken to the cleaners in the end, that's all. I'm worried that there is some "step" or "rule of thumb" or "yardstick" if you will that I am not aware of, that I would be able to use, at least to get me into the ballpark. I guess I'm just worried that I don't know what I don't know, and that can be a very bad thing, and I really can't afford to make any mistakes with this. I hope you all understand. Thanks again for all of your help and support!

Quoted:
Does anybody in Fl have experience in mediation? It sounds like forensicdoc is specifically stressed about that.
ETA-Maybe this will help you OP? http://floridamediationcenter.com

Never done mediation for a divorce, but I have for a malpractice case (don't ask).

You'll do fine. There is no grilling, there is nobody getting in your face, and nobody assassinating your character/competence/whatever (if that comes, it's later at trial). In my case, the parties were sequestered in different rooms (after an opening presentation by both sides), and the mediator bounced back-and-forth between the rooms with offers/counter-offers/etc until it was over.

It literally took all day... but other than the general hassle factor, it was fine.

ETA: mediation rules may be different for Florida

Posted: 8/16/2014 5:23:49 PM EDT

[#3]

Quote History

Quoted:
Thank you very much for your input. I am expecting it to take all day, that's why I wanted it on a Friday, so that I didn't have to worry about getting back here for work the next day all burnt out and tired (about a 3 hour drive, each way). I am planning on bringing some snacks, caffeine gum, 5-hour energy drinks, and the like. I just don't know what to expect. I know she wants this to be done ASAP, I know why, and that makes me feel bitter. I hope I can restrain that bitterness and think clearly, but after not speaking to her or seeing her for so long, I'm worried about making a goofy mistake which will haunt me. I just want to limit the damage to me, so that I can move on. I guess I'm also worried about 'what happens next.' I hope all of that makes sense.

View Quote View All Quotes

View All Quotes

Quote History

Quoted:
Thank you very much for your input. I am expecting it to take all day, that's why I wanted it on a Friday, so that I didn't have to worry about getting back here for work the next day all burnt out and tired (about a 3 hour drive, each way). I am planning on bringing some snacks, caffeine gum, 5-hour energy drinks, and the like. I just don't know what to expect. I know she wants this to be done ASAP, I know why, and that makes me feel bitter. I hope I can restrain that bitterness and think clearly, but after not speaking to her or seeing her for so long, I'm worried about making a goofy mistake which will haunt me. I just want to limit the damage to me, so that I can move on. I guess I'm also worried about 'what happens next.' I hope all of that makes sense.

Quoted:

Quoted:
Thank you very much for that link. I read everything that they had, and it was helpful. I know she wants to get this over with as fast as possible, she had already told me so. Myself, I have the patience of a saint, but I don't know how to turn that into leverage within the next week or so before mediation. Because, if that doesn't work, we then go to court. Even though I am very patient, I hate mind games. I'm a busy guy, and when I'm not busy, I'm trying to rest. I wouldn't mind putting this behind me at all. I just don't want to be taken to the cleaners in the end, that's all. I'm worried that there is some "step" or "rule of thumb" or "yardstick" if you will that I am not aware of, that I would be able to use, at least to get me into the ballpark. I guess I'm just worried that I don't know what I don't know, and that can be a very bad thing, and I really can't afford to make any mistakes with this. I hope you all understand. Thanks again for all of your help and support!

Quoted:
Does anybody in Fl have experience in mediation? It sounds like forensicdoc is specifically stressed about that.
ETA-Maybe this will help you OP? http://floridamediationcenter.com

Never done mediation for a divorce, but I have for a malpractice case (don't ask).

You'll do fine. There is no grilling, there is nobody getting in your face, and nobody assassinating your character/competence/whatever (if that comes, it's later at trial). In my case, the parties were sequestered in different rooms (after an opening presentation by both sides), and the mediator bounced back-and-forth between the rooms with offers/counter-offers/etc until it was over.

It literally took all day... but other than the general hassle factor, it was fine.

ETA: mediation rules may be different for Florida

It sounds like you have the most important part down which is patience. If you're willing to wait, and she's in a hurry, it gives you an important advantage. Even with all the anger you feel towards your ex, it's always gonna be painful seeing her move on with another man. Just do your best to appear indifferent towards her and the fact that she's moving on, and the divorce in general.

Posted: 8/16/2014 6:41:08 PM EDT

[#4]

I understand what you are saying. I am patient. I just don't understand why this all happened to me at the same time, but on the the other hand I do understand that she timed it that way, and that make me feel very bitter. I feel more betrayed and lonely rather than angry, but still angry, if that makes any sense.

Quote History

Quoted:

It sounds like you have the most important part down which is patience. If you're willing to wait, and she's in a hurry, it gives you an important advantage. Even with all the anger you feel towards your ex, it's always gonna be painful seeing her move on with another man. Just do your best to appear indifferent towards her and the fact that she's moving on, and the divorce in general.

View Quote View All Quotes

View All Quotes

Quote History

Quoted:

Quoted:
Thank you very much for your input. I am expecting it to take all day, that's why I wanted it on a Friday, so that I didn't have to worry about getting back here for work the next day all burnt out and tired (about a 3 hour drive, each way). I am planning on bringing some snacks, caffeine gum, 5-hour energy drinks, and the like. I just don't know what to expect. I know she wants this to be done ASAP, I know why, and that makes me feel bitter. I hope I can restrain that bitterness and think clearly, but after not speaking to her or seeing her for so long, I'm worried about making a goofy mistake which will haunt me. I just want to limit the damage to me, so that I can move on. I guess I'm also worried about 'what happens next.' I hope all of that makes sense.

Quoted:

Quoted:
Thank you very much for that link. I read everything that they had, and it was helpful. I know she wants to get this over with as fast as possible, she had already told me so. Myself, I have the patience of a saint, but I don't know how to turn that into leverage within the next week or so before mediation. Because, if that doesn't work, we then go to court. Even though I am very patient, I hate mind games. I'm a busy guy, and when I'm not busy, I'm trying to rest. I wouldn't mind putting this behind me at all. I just don't want to be taken to the cleaners in the end, that's all. I'm worried that there is some "step" or "rule of thumb" or "yardstick" if you will that I am not aware of, that I would be able to use, at least to get me into the ballpark. I guess I'm just worried that I don't know what I don't know, and that can be a very bad thing, and I really can't afford to make any mistakes with this. I hope you all understand. Thanks again for all of your help and support!

Quoted:
Does anybody in Fl have experience in mediation? It sounds like forensicdoc is specifically stressed about that.
ETA-Maybe this will help you OP? http://floridamediationcenter.com

Never done mediation for a divorce, but I have for a malpractice case (don't ask).

You'll do fine. There is no grilling, there is nobody getting in your face, and nobody assassinating your character/competence/whatever (if that comes, it's later at trial). In my case, the parties were sequestered in different rooms (after an opening presentation by both sides), and the mediator bounced back-and-forth between the rooms with offers/counter-offers/etc until it was over.

It literally took all day... but other than the general hassle factor, it was fine.

ETA: mediation rules may be different for Florida

It sounds like you have the most important part down which is patience. If you're willing to wait, and she's in a hurry, it gives you an important advantage. Even with all the anger you feel towards your ex, it's always gonna be painful seeing her move on with another man. Just do your best to appear indifferent towards her and the fact that she's moving on, and the divorce in general.

Posted: 8/17/2014 10:12:14 AM EDT

[#5]

Makes perfect sense. When my wife of ten years left and took our 3 girls I felt the same. The loneliness, betrayal, and missing my kids were awful. Sometimes I would have to leave the house and go someplace public just to hear another human voice. I remember the first 6 months were the hardest, and it slowly got better after that. Like you, I had zero interest in romance or meeting women, but it helped just to get out and meet people. Basically you have to "fake it til you make it" as far as being ok. One day you'll wake up and realize you actually feel pretty good about things. I don't know if your religious or not, but maybe start attending church on weekends, look into joining a small study/discussion group. If you ever get down feel free to I. M. Me as well. Good luck- AJ

[ARCHIVED THREAD] - SHTF for me (Page 5 of 5)

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