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Posted: 11/28/2009 7:27:45 PM EDT
[#1]
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NC, USA
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Posted: 11/29/2009 12:25:20 AM EDT
[#2]
Thanks.
Looking forward to the rest |
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Posted: 11/29/2009 12:48:36 AM EDT
[#3]
Originally Posted By mmsurber:
Makes me want an SLR.Me too. 
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Posted: 11/29/2009 4:15:50 AM EDT
[#4]
finally an update, I had almost forgotten about this story.
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Posted: 11/29/2009 7:53:46 AM EDT
[#5]
Nice story, Swindle.
Thanks for the new, partial chapter. Michael |
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Posted: 11/29/2009 6:15:46 PM EDT
[#6]
Originally Posted By BroncoMafia:
Thanks. Looking forward to the rest +1 |
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LA, USA
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Posted: 11/30/2009 9:28:36 PM EDT
[#7]
You're a very good writer. Love the stories.
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Posted: 12/1/2009 10:32:05 PM EDT
[#8]
Originally Posted By louisianarebel:
You're a very good writer. Love the stories. *ego reaches critical mass, unleashes douchebaggery upon the internet with the force of a hydrogen bomb* *begins all conversations with "y'know, I'm a writer..."* *even conversations with his mother* |
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USA
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Posted: 12/2/2009 6:54:41 AM EDT
[#9]
A writer who didn't complete this story in YEARS.
 Dude MOAR
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Posted: 12/5/2009 2:47:01 AM EDT
[#10]
Originally Posted By 36_gauge:
A writer who didn't complete this story in YEARS. Dude MOAR Ask yourself how long it takes the average author to crank out a full-length novel. One who DOESN'T support himself by writing full time.
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Posted: 12/6/2009 8:59:43 AM EDT
[#11]
Originally Posted By Swindle1984:
Ask yourself how long it takes the average author to crank out a full-length novel. Oh.... but you're far from average! *laying on the flattery with a trowel in hopes of getting a new chapter or two soon* Michael |
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Posted: 12/7/2009 2:05:24 AM EDT
[#12]
nice update
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Posted: 12/7/2009 9:33:43 PM EDT
[#13]
Ok folks, here's the skinny:
Christmas is obviously going to eat into my writing time. Then at New Year's I'm driving halfway across the country to finish my federal training for the NPS. This will take several months and I will be severely busy. As a consequence, From Sea To Shining Sea will be updating very sporadically and I may just go on a long-term hiatus until my training is finished, depending on how things go. I may be training full time AND working a weekend job just to pay the bills while I'm there, so obviously there's not going to be much time for working on the story. My birthday is the 13th. As my gift to you guys for being so patient waiting for updates, I'm going to try to have chapter 17 finished by then, even if I have to sit down and write while eating my frigging cake. Sound good to you guys? |
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TX, USA
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Posted: 12/8/2009 12:48:30 AM EDT
[#14]
Dude, take as long as you need.
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Posted: 12/8/2009 5:59:25 AM EDT
[#15]
Originally Posted By Swindle1984: I think you should. Yes, yes you should.My birthday is the 13th. As my gift to you guys for being so patient waiting for updates, I'm going to try to have chapter 17 finished by then, even if I have to sit down and write while eating my frigging cake. Sound good to you guys? |
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Posted: 12/9/2009 2:21:31 AM EDT
[#16]
Originally Posted By AndrewDwight:
Originally Posted By Swindle1984:
I think you should. Yes, yes you should.
My birthday is the 13th. As my gift to you guys for being so patient waiting for updates, I'm going to try to have chapter 17 finished by then, even if I have to sit down and write while eating my frigging cake. Sound good to you guys? Some people's kids...... |
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TX, USA
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Posted: 12/13/2009 1:31:09 AM EDT
[#17]
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Posted: 12/13/2009 1:51:46 AM EDT
[#18]
Happy birthday, Author!
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Posted: 12/13/2009 2:55:08 PM EDT
[#19]
Thanks guys.
The rest of chapter 17 is coming later this evening when I get off work. I think you guys will like it.
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Posted: 12/14/2009 2:25:35 AM EDT
[#20]
FUCK.
I lost the whole fucking chapter just before I could post it. Yeah, slight delay. |
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Posted: 12/14/2009 3:20:01 AM EDT
[#21]
Our story will resume after a slight technical delay.
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TX, USA
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Posted: 12/15/2009 11:49:33 AM EDT
[#22]
could we all chip in for a laptop fer the man?????????????
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Posted: 12/15/2009 12:53:44 PM EDT
[#23]
I'm USING my laptop. I got the blue screen of death.
So, yeah, gotta start over because all I have of chapter 17 is what was already posted. 
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TX, USA
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Posted: 12/15/2009 2:06:36 PM EDT
[#24]
That really sucks.
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TX, USA
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Posted: 12/15/2009 10:58:01 PM EDT
[#25]
Holy crap that bites
Did ya get spanked by markie? for your b-day that is
thanks for your work We DO enjoy it. |
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TX, USA
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Posted: 12/31/2009 12:33:00 PM EDT
[#26]
Bump to show this was not forgotten.
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Posted: 1/1/2010 9:14:58 AM EDT
[#27]
Swindle,
Happy New Year. I hope everything goes better for you this year. Good luck with the Park Service. I'm a big fan of your writing keep up the good work. KOW |
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CO, USA
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Posted: 1/1/2010 1:54:55 PM EDT
[#28]
ok constructive criticism. (besides WHERE THE FUCK IS THE NEXT CHAPTER?)
early on, chap 1 or 2 (or both). the word is FARE. not fair. A fair (n) is like a carnival, a fare is a paying passenger. Fix it, you do it a lot and it makes no sense. The flashback doesn't work. That's hours of talking to someone this chick (sam) barely knows. She should say something like "yes, I'm a girl, I met Nick, he rescued me and trained me and then we started doing the horizontal bob" (better, but short) then, "the dream came back that night in bed" and then you can go thru the whole how Sam really came to be. Plus it works better and splits it up. Nick needs a background. He's just a cypher and it makes no sense. His story has to come first and it hasn't come at all. He's Rambo and you don't know why. Hope can be a cypher because she's driving the plot, but they can't all be. The leaflet is great but the government would never use colors. 10% of men are color blind, it wouldn't work that way. It would be more than useless. also, as somebody said, needs more landscape. you started off that way (the dust) but it died out. Using real city names would help the reader understand where they are in their travels without being overt about it. Mormon''s would never call it Fort Joe Smith. Fort Joseph Smith, yes, but never Joe Smith. never HTH |
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IN, USA
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Posted: 1/11/2010 2:40:08 PM EDT
[Last Edit: SigOwner_P229]
[#29]
Ooohhhh how I wish we could have another chapter!!!!
I hope NPS training is going well. We can't wait for you to get back.
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USA
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Posted: 1/11/2010 4:58:34 PM EDT
[#30]
"10% of men are color blind"
Actually, closer to 5-8%, and 99% of those are variations on red/green color-blind. True colorblindness is extremely rare. http://colorvisiontesting.com/color2.htm |
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Posted: 1/12/2010 10:31:36 AM EDT
[#31]
i love the story. got the guns right, you give realistic descriptions of the characters. the characters are likable, and flawed. this story is definately very high up on my list of things i have read here, keep up the good work. dont listen to all the nitpicking, good job. please keep writing it, cant wait to see how it ends.
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Posted: 1/12/2010 10:19:44 PM EDT
[#32]
Originally Posted By BozemanMT:
ok constructive criticism. (besides WHERE THE FUCK IS THE NEXT CHAPTER?) early on, chap 1 or 2 (or both). the word is FARE. not fair. A fair (n) is like a carnival, a fare is a paying passenger. Fix it, you do it a lot and it makes no sense. The flashback doesn't work. That's hours of talking to someone this chick (sam) barely knows. She should say something like "yes, I'm a girl, I met Nick, he rescued me and trained me and then we started doing the horizontal bob" (better, but short) then, "the dream came back that night in bed" and then you can go thru the whole how Sam really came to be. Plus it works better and splits it up. Nick needs a background. He's just a cypher and it makes no sense. His story has to come first and it hasn't come at all. He's Rambo and you don't know why. Hope can be a cypher because she's driving the plot, but they can't all be. The leaflet is great but the government would never use colors. 10% of men are color blind, it wouldn't work that way. It would be more than useless. also, as somebody said, needs more landscape. you started off that way (the dust) but it died out. Using real city names would help the reader understand where they are in their travels without being overt about it. Mormon''s would never call it Fort Joe Smith. Fort Joseph Smith, yes, but never Joe Smith. never HTH The flashback was overly long because I got carried writing it; I already noted that it will be shortened in the actual book and the rest reserved for a seperate (possibly included in the same book) story focused exclusively on Sam and Nick. I also noted in the story (and out of story) that the version Hope gets of Sam's background is drastically shorter than the version readers get. When I go back and edit the story for publication, I'm going to do just that and save the version with details for the seperate story. Nick has had some background filled out (his dad was a survivalist, he got orphaned at an early age by looters and had to struggle to make it on his own.), but yes, I haven't fleshed him out yet. For instance, what was up with the "Faust" alias at the beginning? (incidentally, you guys may want to look up Faust/Faustus/Doctor Faustus) What other aliases does he have, and why does he even use them in the first place? I haven't made it part of the story yet, but I might as well mention it since I'm sure several of you have at least picked up on the vaguest of hints: notice how a lot of Nick's equipment is stuff he scavenged from his dad's old stockpiles? And he started out heading west by looking for more? Nick has issues about his dad and his own self-worth, and he compensates for things by being a high-speed, low-drag badass. As you may have noticed, while he certainly is lethal from ten years fighting for his life, this description isn't really fitting. But I'll get to that when it's time to address it (and other issues. Like, what the heck was that crate Nick and Sam buried in the woods and then dug up on their way out of town?). For now, you'll just have to be patient.
The leaflets are color coded because most people are NOT colorblind and fucking up is what the government does best anyway.
The landscape settings aren't that important to the story at the moment, but I had been planning a pretty detailed scene after the battle at Fort Joe Smith. And it's called Fort Joe Smith because it's the post-apocalypse and who gives a shit? 
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Posted: 1/12/2010 10:24:09 PM EDT
[#33]
Originally Posted By SigOwner_P229:
Ooohhhh how I wish we could have another chapter!!!! I hope NPS training is going well. We can't wait for you to get back. Yeah, I have absolutely no idea when I'm getting chapter 17 finished. I'm in class roughly twelve hours a day at least five, sometimes six, days a week, I have to study for exams, do PT, go to the range, drive a squad car, etc. So, yeah, there's basically no time whatsoever for writing. Plus I've been having computer problems lately, for those who haven't seen my thread asking for help in Team. I have a three day weekend coming up in which I'll TRY to finish chapter 17, but I'm not making any promises. As soon as I finish chapter 17 (I only got a small part of what I lost rewritten) I'm putting From Sea To Shining Sea on hiatus until I'm done with my training. After that, I'll pick it up as soon as I can. |
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Posted: 1/12/2010 10:31:41 PM EDT
[#34]
Originally Posted By buck19delta:
i love the story. got the guns right, you give realistic descriptions of the characters. the characters are likable, and flawed. this story is definately very high up on my list of things i have read here, keep up the good work. dont listen to all the nitpicking, good job. please keep writing it, cant wait to see how it ends. My favorite kind of character. I hate perfect characters/Mary Sues; they're not people, they're one dimensional cardboard cutouts. Real people have flaws (for instance, I'm an asshole. ) and behavioral quirks that make them unique, and I like my characters to have that. If I'm not going to go into the why of a character's motivations or eccentricities, I'm at least going to hint that they exist.
And in case nobody had noticed, despite being quiet and competent, Sam isn't exactly the most stable of individuals. She's pretty fragile (emotionally), which is understandable given the kind of shit she's gone through, and she deals with this in her own ways. Same with Nick, he has his issues and deals with them his way. Same as any real person. I think it's safe to say that once we get into the less-happy part of the book, we'll be seeing the rough edges start poking through the velvet covering.
Geez, I haven't even started on Hope and Eli or why they're heading to Maryland. I guess that'll just drive you guys nuts guessing until they get there.
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Posted: 1/14/2010 7:11:36 AM EDT
[#35]
Geez, I haven't even started on Hope and Eli or why they're heading to Maryland. I guess that'll just drive you guys nuts guessing until they get there. No offense, but by chapter 17 your characters should be completely developed, and the reader should have a complete picture of the important protagonists. If you want to allude to a secret one or more of them has, that's something else and can aid plot development. I'm not sure how many pages you have in all, but for publication you will likely condense the chapters, whereas I understand you're keeping it straight for us - they'd be longer in a typical book however. The main thing is to get it down on paper - worry about editing later. Of course, if you're going to share things with us during the process that makes it hard, which is another reason I don't post my stuff here - besides the legal reasons I mean. Good luck, and good luck with your training. Hard to do both, as I well know. |
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Posted: 1/30/2010 7:03:00 PM EDT
[#36]
Hey man how about an update on your training and everything else?
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USA
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Posted: 2/2/2010 2:58:09 PM EDT
[#37]
So far you story looks good to me and from on Leo to another, remember rough draft, second draft, maybe third and fourth for polish if necessary. But your theme has got alot of attention, and following so you keep up what your doing.
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Posted: 2/3/2010 8:41:27 PM EDT
[#38]
Originally Posted By colt_5_5_6:
So far you story looks good to me and from on Leo to another, remember rough draft, second draft, maybe third and fourth for polish if necessary. But your theme has got alot of attention, and following so you keep up what your doing. Yep. Gonna have a lot of polishing to do once I'm done writing. |
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Posted: 2/18/2010 3:34:28 AM EDT
[#39]
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Posted: 2/21/2010 4:32:47 AM EDT
[#40]
I am ready to introduce the porn. Just let me know.
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TX, USA
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Posted: 2/22/2010 8:42:47 PM EDT
[Last Edit: mmsurber]
[#41]
Hell Marky, I'd settle for one of yours if I can't get the real thing!
That sounded bad. |
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Posted: 2/23/2010 5:08:01 PM EDT
[#42]
Nick busied himself checking the fluids and drivetrain on the Tantra while Hope, Sam, and Eli looked around for accomodations. A young man, who couldn't have been more than sixteen, introduced himself to Hope as "Elder" Micheal. He told her they could find beds close by in a staging area used for alert personnel. It was a barracks-type arrangement with metal bunk beds lining both walls and common areas on each end with toilets and showers on one end and a small kitchen on the other. What it lacked in privacy, it made up for in utility. There were a few beds that weren't being used in the area closest the toilets, and that is where the trio set up shop. Eli needed to use the bathroom, and afterwards started asking Hope "What's a glory hole?" Hope asked him where he had heard the phrase and he told her that while he was using the bathroom he had noticed a hole in the stall partition that had the words written above and below it. Hope told Eli that she didn't know and that he should ask Sam. Sam immediately stiffened up when Eli told her about it, and started looking more intensely around the barracks. An older black gentleman in a hoodie sweatshirt was sitting on a nearby bed, and when he saw her looking at him, he stated flatly "You gone git Mormonized."
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USA
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Posted: 2/23/2010 6:24:19 PM EDT
[#43]
Marky, that is... Quite offensive
Underage people, sacrilege...
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Posted: 2/23/2010 10:28:51 PM EDT
[#44]
Oh no...please make it stop...
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Posted: 2/24/2010 6:25:24 AM EDT
[#45]
Originally Posted By Feier:
Oh no...please make it stop... Glad you liked it! |
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NC, USA
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Posted: 2/26/2010 8:03:40 PM EDT
[#46]
Originally Posted By Markypie:
Nick busied himself checking the fluids and drivetrain on the Tantra while Hope, Sam, and Eli looked around for accomodations. A young man, who couldn't have been more than sixteen, introduced himself to Hope as "Elder" Micheal. He told her they could find beds close by in a staging area used for alert personnel. It was a barracks-type arrangement with metal bunk beds lining both walls and common areas on each end with toilets and showers on one end and a small kitchen on the other. What it lacked in privacy, it made up for in utility. There were a few beds that weren't being used in the area closest the toilets, and that is where the trio set up shop. Eli needed to use the bathroom, and afterwards started asking Hope "What's a glory hole?" Hope asked him where he had heard the phrase and he told her that while he was using the bathroom he had noticed a hole in the stall partition that had the words written above and below it. Hope told Eli that she didn't know and that he should ask Sam. Sam immediately stiffened up when Eli told her about it, and started looking more intensely around the barracks. An older black gentleman in a hoodie sweatshirt was sitting on a nearby bed, and when he saw her looking at him, he stated flatly "You gone git Mormonized." Fucking brilliant! That being said, this story is amazing. I just read through the whole thing. I'm now going to beg for MOAR!!!
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USA
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Posted: 3/6/2010 12:29:44 PM EDT
[#47]
Swindle, we neeeeeeeeeeeed a fix use a vacation day or sum'n were dieing here man................................................
 any more additions like markypies last, and Ill have to gouge out my eye with a spoon......... 
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Posted: 3/7/2010 2:58:25 AM EDT
[#48]
It's a good thing I'm not thin-skinned!
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USA
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Posted: 3/8/2010 9:47:11 PM EDT
[#49]
Originally Posted By Markypie:
It's a good thing I'm not thin-skinned! On an up side your additions to the story seem to be a unique blend of pornographic scenes, which are laced the with the twisted and bizarre. The only saving grace is you seem to break up the long dry spells with regularity & a unique flare for the creativity. If this ever becomes a movie the addition of some of the a fore authored scenes will definitely make it the most unique porn movie ever made.
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Posted: 3/25/2010 9:40:00 PM EDT
[#50]
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