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CT, USA
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Posted: 3/28/2024 5:39:39 PM EDT
[#1]
I have Life360 on my daughter's phone. My ex and I both have the app so we can keep tabs on her location. My ex sometimes turns on her location tracking when she takes a road trip with our daughter and it has been pretty decent.
It's also fun to mess with my ex. Couple seasons ago, I took my daughter to the track for a track day. Naturally, she wasn't sitting shotgun, she just hung out taking photos. But, for one session, I took her phone and stuck in my pocket and, as expected, my ex got a speed warning from Life360. My daughter and I both got yelled at by the ex when she called me! My ex didn't find it as funny and my daughter and I did though. |
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NC, USA
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Posted: 3/28/2024 5:50:42 PM EDT
[Last Edit: H1Mech]
[#2]
GD is a terrible place for this kinda advice.
Just know the more overbearing and controlling you are the more she will rebel. You cannot control her life and monitor her 24/7. Once your kid is 14 or so they are gonna do whatever they want and there’s nothing you can do to stop it. Kids aren’t stupid and they can work around any app or anything else. Once your child is a teenager they should already have values instilled from their earlier years. At this point you are better off having adult conversations with her and giving her guidance and reinforcing that you love and support her. You can remind her of the rules, expectations, values, etc. expected of her but beyond that you’ve gotta learn to start letting go. She’s not 5 anymore. You can’t hold her hand 24/7. I’m in my 30s and my parents, brother, sister in law and I all share gps tracking on our cell phones for emergency purposes. Doing that with your kid is one thing, but trying to track and control her every move and action is laughable and psychotic. If you try to force it you’ll just hurt your relationship with her and push her towards making stupid life decisions. ETA: I was born in the late 80s so I grew up in the 90s with the dot com boom. The internet was a fucked up place 30 years ago. Either you trust your kid or you don’t. But regardless you can’t control her life. Anyone who says or thinks otherwise is a fool. |
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ID, USA
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Posted: 3/28/2024 6:18:53 PM EDT
[#3]
Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By backbencher: What are you going to do w/ the last known location if your daughter is kidnapped? Rescue her yourself? Or call the cops? If your daughter is 30 miles away, and slides into a ditch and is rendered unconscious, you won't be looking for her for another 45 minutes. And then you're 30 minutes away. If she's on the Interstate, unless she managed to fall into a hole w/ no traffic - not something my son deals with, he HATES traffic - someone's gonna call. I have pointed out before, I would rather NOT know where my son is at 9 PM. He's an adult now, and I'd rather he be socializing with his friends than playing video games upstairs. I find it extremely sad so many of you have chosen to monitor and spy on your children in such a way, just because you can. I think this normalizes surveillance and damages our future citizens and society. If you need to know where your kid is at 9PM at night - try calling her. If you trust her enough with the car keys, you should trust her to tell you where she's at. If you can't trust her - no car keys. FW_wife thought about tapping the middle girl's phone when she was a teenager, and I talked her out of it. She got caught sneaking out - and got grounded. She's still together w/ the same decent guy, who's a Paramedic now & they've just moved in to their 1st house. No electronic spying necessary for her to become a responsible adult. Everyone is entitled to parent in their own ways. Doesn't mean it's right nor does it mean it isn't careless or stupid. From first hand experiences and current things we are dealing with in our family I can say for certain that you are dead wrong with 99% of what you've said. |
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Posted: 3/28/2024 6:44:45 PM EDT
[#4]
Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By NIevo: Everyone is entitled to parent in their own ways. Doesn't mean it's right nor does it mean it isn't careless or stupid. From first hand experiences and current things we are dealing with in our family I can say for certain that you are dead wrong with 99% of what you've said. Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By NIevo: Originally Posted By backbencher: What are you going to do w/ the last known location if your daughter is kidnapped? Rescue her yourself? Or call the cops? If your daughter is 30 miles away, and slides into a ditch and is rendered unconscious, you won't be looking for her for another 45 minutes. And then you're 30 minutes away. If she's on the Interstate, unless she managed to fall into a hole w/ no traffic - not something my son deals with, he HATES traffic - someone's gonna call. I have pointed out before, I would rather NOT know where my son is at 9 PM. He's an adult now, and I'd rather he be socializing with his friends than playing video games upstairs. I find it extremely sad so many of you have chosen to monitor and spy on your children in such a way, just because you can. I think this normalizes surveillance and damages our future citizens and society. If you need to know where your kid is at 9PM at night - try calling her. If you trust her enough with the car keys, you should trust her to tell you where she's at. If you can't trust her - no car keys. FW_wife thought about tapping the middle girl's phone when she was a teenager, and I talked her out of it. She got caught sneaking out - and got grounded. She's still together w/ the same decent guy, who's a Paramedic now & they've just moved in to their 1st house. No electronic spying necessary for her to become a responsible adult. Everyone is entitled to parent in their own ways. Doesn't mean it's right nor does it mean it isn't careless or stupid. From first hand experiences and current things we are dealing with in our family I can say for certain that you are dead wrong with 99% of what you've said. I'll remember you at the boy's high school graduation in a couple of months. 
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ID, USA
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Posted: 3/28/2024 7:22:31 PM EDT
[#5]
Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By backbencher: I'll remember you at the boy's high school graduation in a couple of months. Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By backbencher: Originally Posted By NIevo: Originally Posted By backbencher: What are you going to do w/ the last known location if your daughter is kidnapped? Rescue her yourself? Or call the cops? If your daughter is 30 miles away, and slides into a ditch and is rendered unconscious, you won't be looking for her for another 45 minutes. And then you're 30 minutes away. If she's on the Interstate, unless she managed to fall into a hole w/ no traffic - not something my son deals with, he HATES traffic - someone's gonna call. I have pointed out before, I would rather NOT know where my son is at 9 PM. He's an adult now, and I'd rather he be socializing with his friends than playing video games upstairs. I find it extremely sad so many of you have chosen to monitor and spy on your children in such a way, just because you can. I think this normalizes surveillance and damages our future citizens and society. If you need to know where your kid is at 9PM at night - try calling her. If you trust her enough with the car keys, you should trust her to tell you where she's at. If you can't trust her - no car keys. FW_wife thought about tapping the middle girl's phone when she was a teenager, and I talked her out of it. She got caught sneaking out - and got grounded. She's still together w/ the same decent guy, who's a Paramedic now & they've just moved in to their 1st house. No electronic spying necessary for her to become a responsible adult. Everyone is entitled to parent in their own ways. Doesn't mean it's right nor does it mean it isn't careless or stupid. From first hand experiences and current things we are dealing with in our family I can say for certain that you are dead wrong with 99% of what you've said. I'll remember you at the boy's high school graduation in a couple of months. Ok? Is that supposed to mean something? Congratulations to him on graduating, has very little to do with what is being talked about. My son graduated Valedictorian last year. My daughter is 16 and graduating college with her Associates Degree in May and working toward her Bachelors in Criminal Justice. At the same time the last 6 months have turned our lives upside down and monitoring has absolutely helped with our situation. One thing very often doesn't correlate with the other. |
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Posted: 3/28/2024 7:42:01 PM EDT
[#6]
Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By NIevo: My son graduated Valedictorian last year. My daughter is 16 and graduating college with her Associates Degree in May and working toward her Bachelors in Criminal Justice. At the same time the last 6 months have turned our lives upside down and monitoring has absolutely helped with our situation. One thing very often doesn't correlate with the other. |
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Posted: 3/28/2024 8:19:57 PM EDT
[#7]
Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By NIevo: Ok? Is that supposed to mean something? Congratulations to him on graduating, has very little to do with what is being talked about. My son graduated Valedictorian last year. My daughter is 16 and graduating college with her Associates Degree in May and working toward her Bachelors in Criminal Justice. At the same time the last 6 months have turned our lives upside down and monitoring has absolutely helped with our situation. One thing very often doesn't correlate with the other. Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By NIevo: Originally Posted By backbencher: Originally Posted By NIevo: Originally Posted By backbencher: What are you going to do w/ the last known location if your daughter is kidnapped? Rescue her yourself? Or call the cops? If your daughter is 30 miles away, and slides into a ditch and is rendered unconscious, you won't be looking for her for another 45 minutes. And then you're 30 minutes away. If she's on the Interstate, unless she managed to fall into a hole w/ no traffic - not something my son deals with, he HATES traffic - someone's gonna call. I have pointed out before, I would rather NOT know where my son is at 9 PM. He's an adult now, and I'd rather he be socializing with his friends than playing video games upstairs. I find it extremely sad so many of you have chosen to monitor and spy on your children in such a way, just because you can. I think this normalizes surveillance and damages our future citizens and society. If you need to know where your kid is at 9PM at night - try calling her. If you trust her enough with the car keys, you should trust her to tell you where she's at. If you can't trust her - no car keys. FW_wife thought about tapping the middle girl's phone when she was a teenager, and I talked her out of it. She got caught sneaking out - and got grounded. She's still together w/ the same decent guy, who's a Paramedic now & they've just moved in to their 1st house. No electronic spying necessary for her to become a responsible adult. Everyone is entitled to parent in their own ways. Doesn't mean it's right nor does it mean it isn't careless or stupid. From first hand experiences and current things we are dealing with in our family I can say for certain that you are dead wrong with 99% of what you've said. I'll remember you at the boy's high school graduation in a couple of months. Ok? Is that supposed to mean something? Congratulations to him on graduating, has very little to do with what is being talked about. My son graduated Valedictorian last year. My daughter is 16 and graduating college with her Associates Degree in May and working toward her Bachelors in Criminal Justice. At the same time the last 6 months have turned our lives upside down and monitoring has absolutely helped with our situation. One thing very often doesn't correlate with the other. Did monitoring really help? What life disaster did you prevent by monitoring your children's phones? |
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ID, USA
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Posted: 3/28/2024 8:28:40 PM EDT
[#8]
Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By KitBuilder: So when do you expect to discontinue monitoring? Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By KitBuilder: Originally Posted By NIevo: My son graduated Valedictorian last year. My daughter is 16 and graduating college with her Associates Degree in May and working toward her Bachelors in Criminal Justice. At the same time the last 6 months have turned our lives upside down and monitoring has absolutely helped with our situation. One thing very often doesn't correlate with the other. Obviously we haven't for my son in quite some time. We have 4 kids though, 3 with phones. |
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ID, USA
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Posted: 3/28/2024 8:29:23 PM EDT
[#9]
Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By backbencher: Did monitoring really help? What life disaster did you prevent by monitoring your children's phones? Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By backbencher: Originally Posted By NIevo: Originally Posted By backbencher: Originally Posted By NIevo: Originally Posted By backbencher: What are you going to do w/ the last known location if your daughter is kidnapped? Rescue her yourself? Or call the cops? If your daughter is 30 miles away, and slides into a ditch and is rendered unconscious, you won't be looking for her for another 45 minutes. And then you're 30 minutes away. If she's on the Interstate, unless she managed to fall into a hole w/ no traffic - not something my son deals with, he HATES traffic - someone's gonna call. I have pointed out before, I would rather NOT know where my son is at 9 PM. He's an adult now, and I'd rather he be socializing with his friends than playing video games upstairs. I find it extremely sad so many of you have chosen to monitor and spy on your children in such a way, just because you can. I think this normalizes surveillance and damages our future citizens and society. If you need to know where your kid is at 9PM at night - try calling her. If you trust her enough with the car keys, you should trust her to tell you where she's at. If you can't trust her - no car keys. FW_wife thought about tapping the middle girl's phone when she was a teenager, and I talked her out of it. She got caught sneaking out - and got grounded. She's still together w/ the same decent guy, who's a Paramedic now & they've just moved in to their 1st house. No electronic spying necessary for her to become a responsible adult. Everyone is entitled to parent in their own ways. Doesn't mean it's right nor does it mean it isn't careless or stupid. From first hand experiences and current things we are dealing with in our family I can say for certain that you are dead wrong with 99% of what you've said. I'll remember you at the boy's high school graduation in a couple of months. Ok? Is that supposed to mean something? Congratulations to him on graduating, has very little to do with what is being talked about. My son graduated Valedictorian last year. My daughter is 16 and graduating college with her Associates Degree in May and working toward her Bachelors in Criminal Justice. At the same time the last 6 months have turned our lives upside down and monitoring has absolutely helped with our situation. One thing very often doesn't correlate with the other. Did monitoring really help? What life disaster did you prevent by monitoring your children's phones? Yes Suicide no I won't say anymore |
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Posted: 3/28/2024 8:44:35 PM EDT
[#10]
Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By NIevo: Yes Suicide no I won't say anymore Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By NIevo: Originally Posted By backbencher: Originally Posted By NIevo: Originally Posted By backbencher: Originally Posted By NIevo: Originally Posted By backbencher: What are you going to do w/ the last known location if your daughter is kidnapped? Rescue her yourself? Or call the cops? If your daughter is 30 miles away, and slides into a ditch and is rendered unconscious, you won't be looking for her for another 45 minutes. And then you're 30 minutes away. If she's on the Interstate, unless she managed to fall into a hole w/ no traffic - not something my son deals with, he HATES traffic - someone's gonna call. I have pointed out before, I would rather NOT know where my son is at 9 PM. He's an adult now, and I'd rather he be socializing with his friends than playing video games upstairs. I find it extremely sad so many of you have chosen to monitor and spy on your children in such a way, just because you can. I think this normalizes surveillance and damages our future citizens and society. If you need to know where your kid is at 9PM at night - try calling her. If you trust her enough with the car keys, you should trust her to tell you where she's at. If you can't trust her - no car keys. FW_wife thought about tapping the middle girl's phone when she was a teenager, and I talked her out of it. She got caught sneaking out - and got grounded. She's still together w/ the same decent guy, who's a Paramedic now & they've just moved in to their 1st house. No electronic spying necessary for her to become a responsible adult. Everyone is entitled to parent in their own ways. Doesn't mean it's right nor does it mean it isn't careless or stupid. From first hand experiences and current things we are dealing with in our family I can say for certain that you are dead wrong with 99% of what you've said. I'll remember you at the boy's high school graduation in a couple of months. Ok? Is that supposed to mean something? Congratulations to him on graduating, has very little to do with what is being talked about. My son graduated Valedictorian last year. My daughter is 16 and graduating college with her Associates Degree in May and working toward her Bachelors in Criminal Justice. At the same time the last 6 months have turned our lives upside down and monitoring has absolutely helped with our situation. One thing very often doesn't correlate with the other. Did monitoring really help? What life disaster did you prevent by monitoring your children's phones? Yes Suicide no I won't say anymore Well God help you & your family sir. |
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Posted: 3/28/2024 9:43:39 PM EDT
[#11]
Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By Baddy: Subbed for interest. Up until this point, we have used the built-in Screentime on iOS, but it's very limited. It does allow locking down of the device to an extent. But what it doesn't give you is fine-grained control and visibility into things your kid may be doing within apps like web searches, Youtube video views, contents of texts received, etc. You have to go to the device to check all that. With multiple devices, it can be a pain. Our kid has been good at self-limiting, but curiosity always wins at some point. Would like to hear some more experiences with Bark. Seems like Life360 is all about location, which we don't have to worry about too much (yet) with a tween. https://www.apple.com/child-safety/ Looks like you can do a lot, including blocking explicit photos https://support.apple.com/en-us/105121 You can prevent apps from being downloaded. Delete the YT app and they can’t reinstall it? Does this function really work? |
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Posted: 3/28/2024 9:59:13 PM EDT
[#12]
Came in this thread for info.
Is has very little in it so far. Just a bunch of arguing. |
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Posted: 3/28/2024 10:06:19 PM EDT
[#13]
Life 360 is for tracking location, bark is for tracking activity.
On a teen anger’s phone, you can’t have too much control. In the end, it won’t work. Best bet is to just take it from her and install a landline when she is watching your son. |
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Posted: 3/28/2024 10:07:27 PM EDT
[#14]
Wife got bark for one of our kids. It seems like invasive overkill to me so I don’t use it - if you trust your kid so little that you want to read every text message or email they send then you need to just take the phone away. It’s akin to sitting next to your kid and watching their computer screen. Funny thing is after a couple weeks the wife quit looking at the bark too.
Said kid has an android. It has a daily time limit so she only gets 2 hours per day and if she gets in trouble I just lock the phone. It tells us if she installs an app and that more than adequate for me. |
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MN, USA
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Posted: 3/28/2024 10:07:49 PM EDT
[#15]
I just used the apple apps to check in on my daughters activities. simple i pay the bill then she can either allow it or get a job and her own phone. not going to lie though my daughter is a pretty great kid so not a lot of watching was needed.
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Posted: 3/28/2024 10:17:09 PM EDT
[#16]
Gotta say that I largely agree with Backbencher on this one. Helicopter parenting is bad for a kid anyway, and if you are down to monitoring texts and websites and emails something else is wrong and you’re addressing symptoms and not the larger problem upstream. Orrrr, you’re forgetting what it’s like to be a teenager and all the shit you did.
It’s about trust - they earn it or they don’t. But being in the weeds with their texts and web activity? No way. A location could be handy if I think there’s a problem, but we have that covered with Find My or whatever on iPhone. |
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MD, USA
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Posted: 3/28/2024 10:22:25 PM EDT
[#17]
Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By Torf: Exactly. For the life of me I don't understand all these supposedly mature parents projecting their own selves on young kids as if they have all these "rights". Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By Torf: Originally Posted By whollyshite: Originally Posted By backbencher: You either trust your daughter or you don't. Don't trust her, no phone, no babysitting. If you can trust her to watch her younger siblings, then phone. How would you have turned out if you knew your parents knew your every move, every electronic comment, could record you every time you spoke? Have you read 1984? And you want to do that to your daughter? At 13? Yes. Yes, I do. Exactly. Be their parent, not their friend. I think many aren't parents with young kids |
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USA
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Posted: 3/28/2024 10:23:15 PM EDT
[#18]
Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By backbencher: There is a significant difference between looking at your child's report card and monitoring your child's phone's location 24/7, listening to their phone calls, reading their texts, blocking their access to websites, and seeing everything they email, post, and view on the internet. Just because you can, doesn't mean you should. How do you bring up a future citizen understanding the importance of the 4th Amendment if you've raised em to have no expectation of privacy whatsoever? And what will your future relationship be with that adult, with them knowing you never trusted them? You are raising the people who will raise your grandchildren and choose your retirement home. Proceed with caution. Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By backbencher: Originally Posted By cash50: Originally Posted By DayandNight1701: Originally Posted By whollyshite: This is relevant to my interests. It seems like Bark has more parental controls, where Life360 is more about location tracking, which Bark also seems to have. I'd like to see some input on this thread as well. I want to get a phone for my kids buy the wife is resistant due to wide-open internet. I can't blame her. ETA: Mine are 13 and 10, so I'm all about the parental control... ETA2: And as someone who is in IT, and is an internet junkie, you'd be crazy to not want a certain level of control, unless your kids are much older. The internet is a fucked up place. The internet was a fucked up place 30 years ago. The nut-jobs tracking their kids and spouses, are well, nuts. Good luck with your family tracking. Fucking weird. If your kids are going to be shit-bags, they're going to be shit-bags. If your spouse is going to cheat, they're going to cheat. No amount of tracking is going to change that. Just saying. Don't monitor your kid's grades. He's gonna be stupid and there's nothing you can do. Deerrrrrpppp There is a significant difference between looking at your child's report card and monitoring your child's phone's location 24/7, listening to their phone calls, reading their texts, blocking their access to websites, and seeing everything they email, post, and view on the internet. Just because you can, doesn't mean you should. How do you bring up a future citizen understanding the importance of the 4th Amendment if you've raised em to have no expectation of privacy whatsoever? And what will your future relationship be with that adult, with them knowing you never trusted them? You are raising the people who will raise your grandchildren and choose your retirement home. Proceed with caution. No one is going to read every text and everything the kid does. 4th amendment? Lol bro this is a family. It's tyranny. I'm in charge I make the rules I have the money and you kids don't know anything. 4th amendment lol wtf are you on about. |
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TX, USA
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Posted: 3/28/2024 10:28:18 PM EDT
[#19]
Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By Marie: https://www.apple.com/child-safety/ Looks like you can do a lot, including blocking explicit photos https://support.apple.com/en-us/105121 You can prevent apps from being downloaded. Delete the YT app and they can’t reinstall it? Does this function really work? Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By Marie: Originally Posted By Baddy: Subbed for interest. Up until this point, we have used the built-in Screentime on iOS, but it's very limited. It does allow locking down of the device to an extent. But what it doesn't give you is fine-grained control and visibility into things your kid may be doing within apps like web searches, Youtube video views, contents of texts received, etc. You have to go to the device to check all that. With multiple devices, it can be a pain. Our kid has been good at self-limiting, but curiosity always wins at some point. Would like to hear some more experiences with Bark. Seems like Life360 is all about location, which we don't have to worry about too much (yet) with a tween. https://www.apple.com/child-safety/ Looks like you can do a lot, including blocking explicit photos https://support.apple.com/en-us/105121 You can prevent apps from being downloaded. Delete the YT app and they can’t reinstall it? Does this function really work? Yes, you can turn off app installs, deletes, and in app purchases with Screentime. Turning off installs removes the Apps Store completely. |
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