Parker.

Thank you.

I’m in Rifle. I you’re ever over this way I’m open for hanging out.
That said, I know it’s a long way. If you need someone to chat with feel free to PM me a number.

Hang in there man sometimes shit sucks. I get that but it can, and will get better.

Anyone willing to talk privately through PMs? Going through some tough times…

Hey man,  I wish you the best. Whatever you are going through can improv over time.

Yes.

@Tobysi shoot me a PM

I just wanted to thank the community here.. Went through some shit some time ago and this thread and the people in it got me through it. Life is now awesome.

So it will get better with a little help from your friends.

Thanks Arfcom.

I’m always available for anyone who wants or needs to talk.

I’m not one to normally do this but I just need to vent.

About 6 weeks ago I quit a job that I really enjoyed, it was the best job I ever had. I got to set my own schedule, work with one of my best friends and made a decent salary. But about 2 years ago my boss became terrible to work for. Other employees who had been there longer than me had said that the boss used to be extremely hard to work for but had changed before I started and that the boss had gone back to their old ways. I could no longer take the hostile work environment and quit. I had a job lined up before I quit but it fell through a few days after I turned my notice in.

I’m now not sure what kind of job/career I want. And just fell kind of lost and confused.

Brother the first thing you need to realize is not just that you need money.

Employers are desperate for talent. I made a career change from automotive to plumbing a few years ago, and I didn't know shit about plumbing.

Ended up going back to automotive, but I guess I'm saying employers are desperate for non retarded people. Desperate. I interview people all the time who want insane guarantees, but I also find really good people who just want a chance. If you have a skill in anything, there's a fit for you brother.

Shoot me a PM brother.  I'm in your state as well.  I'm here for ya!!

I could really use an ear right now I am in the twilight of life and have put myself in a bind

I'm in a tough spot guys.
Some of you may remember how bad I was looking for a gig a while back. Unfortunately nothing ever really worked out. I ended up having to take a server job for the last few months. It wasn't so bad at first but I quickly realized that it doesn't even cover my bills. I quit today. I don't know why I feel like such shit, it's like all I do is work. I submit resumes, work on networking and my portfolio, and try to educate myself more. I don't watch Netflix, I don't play video games, yet I see everyone else around me having such an easier time. They play video games all day, own a home have a family and they seem to be alright.
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I feel like I don't do anything recreationally because 1 I can't afford it and 2 I don't have time to spare on it. And I still have nothing. I come home to what? Who even cares? And I get it it's like people sorta care, like they don't want to see anyone in pain if it doesn't inconvenience them, but they don't really care.
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I always try to do the right thing and sometimes when I actually get into a conversation with people they'll make comments like "you seem like d really decent person" or "you're a really good guy blah blah" and maybe it's because they don't know what else to say but I don't believe I'm a good person.im.trying really hard to be, but if I were a good person I wouldn't feel like shit about myself so much, my circumstances would be better and maybe I'd be a bit better.
I've listen to Peterson for years and the idea of picking of your responsibilities has really resonated with me my whole life. I didn't want to be a burden on anyone and I'll I can think of myself as is a burden. I don't know where to turn anymore, I spent 5+ years learning software development and contract work. Only to submit endless resumes where no one wants to hire.

You wouldn't be sad if you didn't have high expectations of yourself, first off.

Second, money is tight for everyone right now. Fiscal policy is something that affects every single person and hanging on to money is not easy.

You're doing the right thing which is just continuing to plug away at it. When you get a good job, you will appreciate it more. When you appreciate it more, you'll stand out. When you stand out, new better opportunities will present themselves.

Well said.  Very well said.

I'm not opening up right now, that's for a closed forum. But what you said is perfect.

I'm just feeling absolutely fucking lost and hopeless. I've been sick for a week and finally feeling better. All I want is some music and to work on my truck. I just went into the garage and dropped my phone and broke it. I looked up a repair company and they want $400 to replace the screen. I broke down a little. I lost my job, both my parents have cancer and my marriage sucks. Usually Nov-December is my bad time but it's stretched through March now. Sorry, just had to vent.

Check your PMs, my dude.

In 2010, I laid in bed with my S&W 66-4 4" in my hand, crying for three hours, trying to find the strength to do what I wanted to do.  

This morning, after coming home from working 12 hours, my wife reminds me that I wish I would have done it in 2010.  

That is harsh man.  I wish you the best.  I'm not advocating anything but be careful about surrounding yourself with toxic people. Thanks for sharing here.  We care.  

Very well said, grinning_bob.

He's right, DavidY. Prayers up for you and we do care.

Just found this thread.

I lost a co-worker to suicide.  A really special kid.  Smart as a whip.  Chemical Engineer.  Kind.  Vibrant.  Enthusiastic.  Hard worker.  She was going places.  She would be leading a major role in our company.  On top of all that, the prettiest young woman you've ever met.  I miss her terribly.  

So, if you need to reach out, please do.  I'll try to respond.  I lost a great person and a friend.  She left a lot of pain with her loss.  She was so kind, I can't believe that she would do something to cause so much pain to family and friends.  Had she called me, I'd have been on the way in seconds.   Lost her a few years ago and cry often thinking about her.  Lost potential.  

Send an IM.  I'll listen!

I'm struggling with my faith here.
I didn't grow up religious but in my mind twenties I found God,  but I seem to be losing my faith again. It seems like every time I asked for gods help with something either the opposite has happened or I've been asking for help for so long that it doesn't seem to be doing anything. Everyone's always like "well I was in your spot I got fired from a job but then it gave me the opportunity to find the job I'm working in now" like cool man, glad that worked out for years but I've been asking for something substantial for years now. "Well you know your big break might be just around the corner...or maybe this next interview will finally pay off". It's like yeah when. Been thinking that way for years now. There doesn't seem to be anything just left in this world. Even the thought of ever having a family or owning a home has basically died in the last few months. I have nothing. I rent a room at a house with no real assets anymore to my name. In my earlier 20s there was a few times where I make $10k in a day. And now I'm left with nothing.  There's a piece of me that just wants to disappear, from what precisely I don't know. My problems would follow me wherever I go.

Your plan is not the same as God's.

God is not here to grant your wishes, but he also does want to see you fulfilled and happy. Evil suffered is only but a lack of goodness, we cannot learn happiness without sadness.

His plan for you is unique and a journey you must undertake together.

Something else to consider: when you made 10k a day were you as happy as when you have a good earning day today?

Well, the spiritual struggle you mention is fairly common. St John of The Cross wrote a book in the 16th century called Dark Night of the Soul. And yeah, the title describes what he was going through at a time in his life.

I will pray for you.



 

That's just the thing though. I'm not making a good earning...I'm not making ends meet by a long shot, every month I have to call in favors just so I'm not homeless. Already defaulted on one credit card. I interview for companies and I get through 4-5 interviews only for higher ups to change the position requirements, or remove the position, or simply have the company ghost me or even more frustrating just a generic rejection email. When I ask for any feedback those emails get ignored too.

Brother, this too will pass.

Credit card defaults clear after 7 years. You will be in a totally different place in your life in 7 years.

These companies are retarded. My last job my boss fired my top performing salesperson because she got two complaints. She was 70% of the income. Corporate thinking is flawed, stupid and unable to see holistically how a business operates very often.

Being broke is fine, you will not believe me but being broke in hindsight is some of the best times. One of my best friends lived in a car for two years, he now owns his own business. You just can't give up. I fully realize that sounds like a stupid hallmark card, but what I'm really saying is this:

You can't change circumstances, timing, or your current situation. You can give up and stop, and it will remain the same. Or you can keep trying.

Yeah, I appreciate it gentlemen.

My therapist suggested “What Color Is Your parachute” since I struggle a lot with anxiety and my “career.” If nothing else it has helped describe a different approach to job hunting than the depressing traditional way of blasting your resume into a black void of rejection. I recommend it since you are are in that situation.

I’m in the same boat as you. I just went to the first of many 40th birthdays this year which I will turn in November. Most of my friends have kids and In the last few years I’ve really come around to wanting kids but stuck in a dead end entry level job with movement at a glacial pace feels like I’ll be in my 50s or 60s by the time I’m financially in a place to marry a high value girl and raise kids right. A lot of days the career thing seems completely hopeless. I wind up just stewing in the fact I have wasted my youth. Just saying this because I need to get it off my chest and let you know you aren’t alone here.

Getting invited to married friend's birthday parties? You're luckier than you think. Have some of those wives introduce you to their fertile younger sisters/friends with a flexible job that contributes to your income and allows for child rearing. Women love playing fix-up.

If you saw my friend’s wife’s friends you’d rather stay single.


I’m just in a rut and the therapy I’ve been going to for years just hasn’t yielded much of anything. First CBT  therapist went nowhere, didn’t really push me enough to do work outside of the sessions and she sounded like a 80s valley girl which was hard to take seriously. Second is more of a general counselor who is a little more on my wavelength as it’s a guy who doesn’t tie everything to feelings but he doesn’t specialize in anxiety and it just turns into a place I can get my problems off my chest and no real tangible progress with my anxiety. Life just keeps passing me by and I’m generally unhappy more than half the time.

This is really dumb but I was really fucked up and drinking to hide everything. Going to work faking my feelings. Had to put my dog down in November. Everyone always says find something to take the place. Working out , bettering yourself. After months of absolute pain I got the opportunity to mentor a girl at work she's hard working and Definetly will fit in  and I feel great helping to give her a career. She has no idea what she gave me  but she saved my life, there’s still pain but the feeling of giving back and helping somone succeed in life is really nice going home to. Thank you Isabel

What a great post! Super job. Glad it worked out for you.

Thank you for taking the time to write this.

If anyone is bored, sad, or just wanting to talk in the next few hours. Just shoot a message would love to talk and help someone out or just hang out

Someone just shared this with me and I felt to do the same with y'all: