What is/was your relationship with your father like? (especially while you were growing up)



Great. He was a terrific father.

Mostly good.

Even mix of good and bad.

Mostly bad.

Terrible. He was a Tier-1 asshole.

Never knew him much.

He is the greatest man I've ever known.

He taught me some valuable things.


He is also crazy, mean spirited, overbearing, extremely racist and bigoted, and does not deserve the woman he married. He's aging badly and I'm having difficulty feeling sympathy.

To be honest, it wasn't that great while I was growing up.



He was working long hours at a job he hated, and working night shift at that.  I was just as stubborn then as I am now, but with less humility (not much less).



To be honest, we did NOT get along.  At all.  We ignored each other, because it was a better option than fighting.  From age 14 to about 20 we didn't speak to each other much unless we had to, and as soon as I bought my car at 16 I was rarely home anyway.  I moved out very quickly after I graduated high school.



Now it's all good.  He finally retired and started working a job he actually likes, and doesn't have any bullshit to bring home with him.  At the same time I was going through the school of hard knocks and gained a lot of respect for him, since my perspective was much different.



The last ten years has been good, and we get along very well.  The downside is I live a thousand miles away now, so we still don't see each other much.

Haven't got along very good.  

Treated my mother like shit, and me as well until I grew up.  Now he is just a sad old alcoholic who watches other people (me)  run the ranch and every now and again has a big screaming fit at people because he thinks things aren't run right.  

Worst fear for me is that I might have unrealized potential to turn out like him, so I strive very hard to treat those dear to me with unlimited kindness and patience.

he was deployed a lot so I felt like I didn't get to see him much.

we also have very different approaches to life and he has a pretty good anger issue, so we don't always see eye to eye.

I love him regardless, but we could definitely have a much better relationship. we're friends, but we don't talk much.

In before someone claims you daddy issues make you more sexy.

I don't have them.

It took years, but he stopped having any effect on me a long time ago.

I learned some good things from my dad.  Some.  Not very many.

Sadly he's got a shorter temper than I do, doesn't think he ever does anything wrong, and manages to constantly piss off the rest of the family.

I don't really like him very much, but you can't pick your parents.

My earliest memories he was a good guy, but as I hit my teenage years he became a real asshole.

I now know that he was stuck in a marriage he didn't want to be in and hid from it by spending all his time in the gym working out or running. He had no tolerance for my young shenanigans and at my worst I could expect a beating for my young stupidity.

He got divorced when I was 19 and we had a tolerable relationship though I lived in another state.

In 2001 I moved back to AZ and got to know my father as just another man. We got along well. I found him to be very funny, a hard worker, and in general a good man.

For 4 years we built a great relationship and I came to really respect him.

I could list my dad's accomplishments but you would get bored so I'll just say I am impressed with what he did with his life.

In Nov of 2004 he was diagnosed with Pancreatic cancer and we took care of him at his house. All of us taking turns being his nurse (seriously, feeding tubes, injections, etc) until Dec 29 2005 when he finally passed.

I consider myself extremely lucky for having those last four years with him, and just the thought of it all is making the room here very dusty.

When I was 16 he was the dumbest bastard I ever new. When I had my own kids he was all of the sudden a fucking genius.

Mostly good

I'm tring to be a Great father with my son.

Cats in the Cradle.

It's good, I guess. He turned 80 last week. We've never really had any problems, although his fathering left a bit to be desired when I was growing up. He wasn't abusive or anything. He just didn't seem to have much interest in being a dad. He never did things with me or taught me anything. Never really spent time with me. I don't really have any of those father/son memories some folks have.

I played soccer for two years in elementary school, and he never went to a single game. He isn't into guns, so no teaching me how to shoot. Didn't teach me anything about working on cars or such things, I always figured it was because he didn't know much. Later I found out that he was into motorcycles in his youth and swapped engines on bikes with his buddies and did all sorts of stuff like that. But he didn't bother to pass on any of that knowledge to me. He didn't take the time to teach me the things a dad should teach a son about growing up. I learned all that stuff on my own the hard way. No taking the time to talk and give me advice about things. No real memories of him doing anything with me.

So we've always been 'okay', but he wasn't ever really involved in my life. My mom did things with me, helped me with activities, took me to soccer games, etc, but he didn't. I guess his idea of being a dad was just supporting me and that's about it.

When he wasn't being an asshole, and I wasn't busy being a little shit, we got along ok. Once I made it to adulthood we got along better.

Lost my dad to liver cancer in "02. He was a great man that sacrificed for his family. I do wish he could have been the dad  (to me) that he was the last year of his life. I would be a different man.

My dad is freakin' awesome. Absolutely my personal hero. Toughest person I've ever known.
Served in the 82nd AB in 'Nam. He was also a drill sgt, so he was pretty strict with me, got my ass smacked royally when I acted up. Glad he did, the discipline made me a better man. He's the kind of guy who would never tell me he loves me, but I know he does. He taught me everything I know about guns, hunting, fishing, fighting, the outdoors, and lot's of other things. About 12 years ago he actually died on the operating table twice from complication with heart valve replacement surgery, but he fought like a demon and came through when the docs gave him very little chance. That slowed him down a bit but he's still going.

My dad is the greatest man I have ever known. He has a heart of gold that many people have taken advantage of through the years and used him for what he could do for them. He did 2 tours in Korea and got a Bronze star and his CIB. He inspired me and my brother to join the Army(both of us earned a CIB as well) and follow in his footsteps. I have never known a more honest and loving kind hearted man in this world. I am so proud of that man I feel that if I could be 1\16th the man he is in life I will be a huge success.

My Father is the best man I know.  He worked his ass off for years and encouraged me in every way to get an education.  He gave me advice when I didn't want it and when I need it today.  He worked all the time when I was little so I mostly remember him either working in the shop doing mechanic work or being at his regular job 6 days a week.  He would rebuild engines and do small engine repair on the side.  
The only hobby I remember him having is fishing and shooting,  we did both on a regular basis when I was growing up.  He has taught me and inspired me more than anyone else.  I hope I can be half the man he was when I have children.

Last time I talked to that Douchebag I told him to go fuck himself,that was 21 years ago.

Wont ever talk to that POS again,Fuck him.

I don't know.  He died when I was 5.

Sounds like we had the same father only difference is mine died years ago.

 

Sorry, bud. Hope things have gone well for you

He is my best friend, its rare if we don't talk everyday.

I love my Dad.  He taught me about many things, including guns.  However he can be a bit of a dick.  I wish I knew more about cars and building (he was a contractor most of his life), but he would get impatient, frustrated and kinda angry when I didn't pick up on things fast enough (contractor side of him, time is money). Our personalities are very similar as are most of our politics.  So we can argue quite a bit and frankly our relationship is better when we aren't around each other much.  I also feel like he is slightly disappointed in me for not getting into sports, hunting, and learning anything shop related.  I think if I wasn't into guns our relationship would be good, but nothing shared on a personal level.

Anyways love the man (he did a great job as a father), but it could be better.

I'm lucky. I'm 32 and have always been very close with my dad. We're playing in a golf tournament in the morning.

You should allow multiple choices in the poll.

My dad was mostly great, he taught me a lot. But he also passed away when I was 7 years old, so hardly knew him applies as well.

It was great. He was my best friend.  I miss him a lot.

x2

...lost him a few years ago, 3 days after I graduated from college...

Yeah, he was the best.

I think about him every day.

When I was little he was awesome. Took me to gun shows, monster truck rallies, helped me practice when I played baseball, taught me how to shoot, ect. Then when I got older it just seemed every little thing that went wrong was my fault, even if there was no possible way I could have done it. He had a lever action Henry hanging over the fireplace that I was in love with (that I couldn't reach) and the cleaning lady knocked it off and cracked the stock, so obviously I got it down and was playing with it and broke it. When they split up, I couldn't get my bags packed fast enough to go with my mom. My wife's (who I got with when I was 17) stepdad said he was proud of me before my own dad did. Then when I would go see him, it seemed like he was just trying to pay me off to get me to like him. Now that I'm a grown man and have kids, we get along great.

fuuuuck that guy. Had NO business being around kids. or adults for that matter. a bodybuilding alcoholic with anger issues and a drug habit? FML

He's been passed away for 15+years now, never missed him for a minute.

The older I get, the more I appreciate how awesome of a dad I have.

my dads awesome. he's been one of my best friends my whole life. can't even keep track of all the things he's taught me. my moms awesome too had a great childhood and they're great now that I'm a youg adult as well

My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from
Belgium with low-grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother
was a 15-year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My
father would womanize, he would drink. He would make outrageous claims
like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts
of being lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess
and the insane lament. My childhood was typical. Summers in Rangoon,
luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent,
I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds. Pretty standard
really. At the age of 12, I received my first scribe. At the age of 14,
an Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There
really is nothing like a shorn scrotum, it's breathtaking I suggest you
try it

My dad is a great man to everyone that has the privilege to know him. I have had people that worked in his department approach me to tell me the selfless things he did for others that I never knew about.

I've learned a lot from him, and honestly, don't feel like I can measure up to him.

Wonderful man. I miss him a lot.

Last time I saw him was in court trying to get back the inheritance he stole from my brother and I. Hadn't seen him for 20 plus years prior. Reconnected with my grandfather (his dad), and when he died he left 1/2 of his company to my brother and I. Father forged an amendment to the trust, and wrote himself back in, and us out.

He was disinherited for embezzling $350K from his own father.

He's a lying, thieving, POS.  I haven't seen him since that day about 19 years ago. I wouldn't walk across the street to piss on him if he were on fire. Fuck him.

Pretty good honestly. We had our differences in my growing up years but when I moved out it got a lot better. I had a fallout with my roommate and was tired of paying all the bills so I stopped by the house one day and asked if I could move back. He didn't even blink an eye before he said yes I could. Things got kinda stale living back at home but that was by fault because I didn't really enjoy living there but after I moved out again things have been a lot better. The only thing I regret about him or my mom not teaching me growing up is financial responsibility but I made it work out none the less. Father son time mainly consists of meeting at the bar and having a couple drinks and talking.

Call him the biological father. Met him once when I was in 7th grade, He flew in from CA and spent a few days. F*** him. He lives in San Diego last I heard and owns a tow truck company.
Apparently I have a half Korean step brother.
As of today I want nothing to do with him.
Did I mention F*** him?

My father is a tremendous man. To say he pulled himself up by his own bootstraps is the most intolerable kind of understatement--
He's a middle kid with three brothers, and to say his parents were hideous people is an understatement-- my mother's father's funeral was a county-wide event, and was essentially a full-on family reunion. When my father's parents died, their passage went almost completely unremarked. My father's father was a deadbeat and a child abuser, and my father's mother was a coward and an enabler.

When my father was young, he entertained himself by learning about the stars and about airplanes. Whenever we chat now he tells me about astronomical phenomena I might be able to see and when, and when I was a kid we'd occasionally go out to the little local airport and watch planes come and go.

My father abandoned his home when he was fourteen, and the parents of a friend took him in. He met my mother when he was a junior in high school. In the summers and autumns, he worked on my mother's father's tobacco farm with my uncles. When my folks graduated school and eventually were married, my dad worked as a lumber salesman. When they were well-enough established, my father went to the University of Florida and got a degree in Mechanical Engineering so that he could better support his family. He's got a million stories from the engineering program, an from his early years at General Electric Drive Control Systems and GE Aeronautics. My dad told me once that he'd been done some work on the drive control systems for the Arleigh Burke class, so he felt personally offended by the attack on the USS Cole. All when I was alive my dad had moved up to plant management and we moved around a lot when I was young, which I hated. He changed jobs a couple times, always trying to find a more permanent footing and better money for the family. It put a lot of strain on him and my mom and they fought a bunch when I was in middle school and high school, but they stuck together. My folks put me through college.

While I was in college my dad quit drinking, because he's an alcoholic. A couple years later he quit smoking, which he'd been doing since he was a teenager.

While I was at school my dad had a heart attack and almost died. Our realtor saved his life with CPR, and he survived with new CYBERNETIC PARTS (an ICD). A few years later he almost died thanks to his stubborn motherfucking refusal to go to the doctor for "the flu" which turned out to be acute appendicitis which led to peritonitis. A few months later he went back to the hospital and his right pleural sac was almost completely filled with fluid literally the exact fucking color of flat mountain dew. Gross.

He's still not dead. He got canned by a company I thought had some fucking respect for him a little while after he had his heart attack, and more recently the division of the new company he was working for folded, so he's started a new business. This motherfucker doesn't even have equipment in his building yet, and he's already selling product.

I have to tell you my dad's life story if I'm going to tell you about his relationship with me because you need proportion. My dad is an intrepid, fearless badass who apparently draws from an absolutely bottomless well of get-up-and-go and confidence. By contrast, I am a feckless, lazy, ignorant nobody. Don't worry, though, my folks had two sons, and my brother is a very competent and very well-to-do lawyer with a beautiful wife and a new son, so it's not a total loss.

With all that in mind, I guess I'd characterize my relationship with my dad as a little distant? He coached me in football and baseball when I was little, but I quit that stuff when I was in sixth grade.

He and my big brother and I certainly have lots in common - a fondness for computers, a love for science fiction and military fiction, a love affair bordering on the masturbatory with military equipment, fondness for firearms, a bordering-on-murderous hatred for Democrats and Communists... but I dunno. I've always felt like a disappointment to my dad. My dad is great, and I'm an inconsequential little nothing, and he'll always be great, and I'll always be nothing. He doesn't say anything like that, obviously, and it's not like he acts imperious or any of that lame shit, it's just like I'm not living up to him, you know? I feel like I'm disappointing the idea of him.

I dunno, I voted "Mostly good". Fuck, I need another drink.

I have the best Dad ever! He has always been there for me. he is a good man and is always quick to help family and friends.

When I get off this god forsaken slaveship of a tugboat were going to the go-cart track!!

Double tap!

Is this why you like knives so much?

My real father I never met, was lied to about who he was for over half my life. Step father relationship was beyond abusive but the older I get the better we get along. I now realize that 99 percent of our problems were caused by my mom who has been bat shit crazy since my teen years. Step dad and I never had a chance, she saw to that. Any time we started to get along she drove another wedge between us or started shit and got me another beating. I hate her for it now.

He was great, I was the idiot.



It wasn't until I was in my 30's and he was on his way out that i figured it out though.

Dad left my mom and six of us kids when I was 11, me being the youngest child.  He came by ONE time when I was 14 and visited Mom for a couple hours and left forever.

I would have rather been a bastard. My dad passed away on March 26th of last year.

Generally good, I'd say. We were never super close but we always got along fine. He's not a bad guy and I'd do well to be a bit more like him, I suppose. He always was a gun guy and outdoorsman. I grew up hunting, fishing and shooting with him.  He taught me how to do basic maintenance stuff on cars and how to throw/hit a baseball. He taught me to work hard and gave me a kick in the ass when I deserved it (I'm also old enough now to admit that I deserved a lot more ass-kickings than I got). What more could you ask for?