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Posted: 1/6/2015 9:11:19 PM EDT
[#1]
I caught a coworker walking around with one shoe on and a soggy sock on the other foot looking for her shoe. We found it in the refrigerator.
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Posted: 1/6/2015 9:15:20 PM EDT
[#2]
Quote HistoryQuoted: I never caught a co-worker doing anything really weird I guess, but I did know this one guy once who would eat raw hot dogs with mayonnaise on them for his lunch. It made me want to fucking hurl.  That visual is just wrong dude....  .now, if it was a female it would be a whole different story. |
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Posted: 1/6/2015 9:17:50 PM EDT
[#3]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
I think theres a phantom shitter underway on every ship.  Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
One coworker was caught jerking it in the cutters galley(kitchen)... At a port call in Antigua (spelling?) after a night of heavy drinking 4 guy were found slepping naked in a coffin rack. (36 inches wide 18 inches deep and 7 foot long.) Then there was the shower party... deck force shoved a rather large nonrate into a shower stall(not much larger than a rack) used the fire hose, deck brushes and Ajax to get him clean. After 3 weeks underway and the nonrate hadn't showered the BM Chief told the BM2 to "handle it". Although the worst was the Phantom Shitter.... He taged the quarter deck, main p-way and between the mains underway. Then there was the playboy readings, about twice a week deck force would gather together and listen as one of them read aloud the stories out of play boy. It was like a campfire story, 10-15 guys cramed into a 8x8 space rapturously listening. Thats all I got off the top of my head... I think theres a phantom shitter underway on every ship. We alwas had people leave floaters in the toilets but to shit on the deck is somthing else altogether. 
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Posted: 1/6/2015 9:20:27 PM EDT
[#4]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Is busting coworkers for collecting child porn on company networks weird? I fucking hate that. I've done it twice. Nope, been there done that as an infosec admin. I'm no prude but some people are not right. |
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Posted: 1/6/2015 9:34:22 PM EDT
[#5]
had a one guy who would take a leak at the urinal with both hands squarely on his hips in a "superman" pose of sorts.
had another guy get fed up and quit, he took his boots off and left them standing where he should of been. took the manager about an hour to figure out he quit. |
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Posted: 1/6/2015 9:37:31 PM EDT
[#6]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
had a one guy who would take a leak at the urinal with both hands squarely on his hips in a "superman" pose of sorts. had another guy get fed up and quit, he took his boots off and left them standing where he should of been. took the manager about an hour to figure out he quit. You don't do this? |
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Posted: 1/6/2015 9:38:39 PM EDT
[#7]
water is usually cold
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Posted: 1/6/2015 9:41:05 PM EDT
[#8]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
water is usually cold and deep. |
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Posted: 1/6/2015 9:45:42 PM EDT
[#9]
We had a male intern who thought he was quite the ladies man. I was operationally checking the video switcher and low and behold we taped him choking his chicken while recorded live on the servers. You should have seen the HR Manager's face when I played it for her.
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Posted: 1/6/2015 9:46:51 PM EDT
[#10]
Jacking off to gay porn
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Posted: 1/6/2015 9:48:34 PM EDT
[#11]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
had a one guy who would take a leak at the urinal with both hands squarely on his hips in a "superman" pose of sorts. had another guy get fed up and quit, he took his boots off and left them standing where he should of been. took the manager about an hour to figure out he quit. One of my law professors would do this while talking to everyone in the bathroom. 
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Posted: 1/6/2015 9:49:44 PM EDT
[#12]
Quote HistoryQuoted: I caught 2 co-workers having sex in the break room when I worked nights. She was in her 30's and weighed about 250 pounds and should have been working security. Dude was 19-20 National Guardsmen that was tall and skinny. The lead supervisor almost through up when I told him the that morning. Don't hate. The ONE thing that I loved about working security was the 30-50 year old single or recently divorced crazy cat lady types that just wanted a good fuck. There was always 1 or 2 at each post. Some were cute, some were hogs, all were horny. They just LOVED the cute but introverted 20 something year old guy that would pay attention to them and take them out to dinner once in a while.  I'm glad I quit working there a few years before I got married.  |
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Posted: 1/6/2015 9:51:04 PM EDT
[#13]
My boss came in from a social event and she was so drunk she collapsed on the office floor.
In front of one of the owners of our company. There she was in a total alcohol haze on the floor with her legs apart and her panties showing in front of the few of us that were there to witness this incredible dive of a career. She was gone in less than two weeks after that. |
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Posted: 1/6/2015 9:51:22 PM EDT
[#14]
I had a guy that worked with me at a home improvement store we will call it. We worked in the paint department. Delt with dick bag contractors all the time. One special guy was being an extra dick that morning needed paint for his moms house and "needs it's fucking now" but I figured whatever o well. Went out the back dock door for a smoke, come back let's call him Kyle is pants around his ankles jerking off in this dudes gallon of paint. Looks at me directly in the eye and says "fuck this guy". Let's just at the rest of work was a little weird.
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Posted: 1/6/2015 9:52:36 PM EDT
[#15]
Phantom shitter, but management tried to keep it quiet. Unfortunately for them, they had the mentally-handicapped janitors clean it up, so by the end of the next day, the entire building knew the janitors had been cleaning up dookie from the carpet.
Kharn |
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Posted: 1/6/2015 9:54:54 PM EDT
[#16]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
My boss came in from a social event and she was so drunk she collapsed on the office floor. In front of one of the owners of our company. There she was in a total alcohol haze on the floor with her legs apart and her panties showing in front of the few of us that were there to witness this incredible dive of a career. She was gone in less than two weeks after that. Got pics?
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Posted: 1/6/2015 9:55:34 PM EDT
[#17]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Walked in the office and saw a young engineer measuring a bananna with some calipers. He stopped when he saw me and put it away. Strange. I'm going to do this at work tomorrow.
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Posted: 1/6/2015 9:55:47 PM EDT
[#18]
Quote HistoryQuoted: I had a guy that worked with me at a home improvement store we will call it. We worked in the paint department. Delt with dick bag contractors all the time. One special guy was being an extra dick that morning needed paint for his moms house and "needs it's fucking now" but I figured whatever o well. Went out the back dock door for a smoke, come back let's call him Kyle is pants around his ankles jerking off in this dudes gallon of paint. Looks at me directly in the eye and says "fuck this guy". Let's just at the rest of work was a little weird. |
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Posted: 1/6/2015 9:56:45 PM EDT
[#19]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Got pics? Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
My boss came in from a social event and she was so drunk she collapsed on the office floor. In front of one of the owners of our company. There she was in a total alcohol haze on the floor with her legs apart and her panties showing in front of the few of us that were there to witness this incredible dive of a career. She was gone in less than two weeks after that. Got pics? Sorry but it was pre cell phone days. |
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Posted: 1/6/2015 9:57:16 PM EDT
[#20]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
What would even be the point? Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
I had a guy that worked with me at a home improvement store we will call it. We worked in the paint department. Delt with dick bag contractors all the time. One special guy was being an extra dick that morning needed paint for his moms house and "needs it's fucking now" but I figured whatever o well. Went out the back dock door for a smoke, come back let's call him Kyle is pants around his ankles jerking off in this dudes gallon of paint. Looks at me directly in the eye and says "fuck this guy". Let's just at the rest of work was a little weird. What would even be the point? That question is beyond me. This guy was one of the more normal guy I worked with. At least so I thought. |
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Posted: 1/6/2015 9:59:07 PM EDT
[#21]
As a teenager I had a co-worker at Little Ceasars who would fuck a warm ball of uncooked pizza dough. He liked to do it with an Army M17 gas mask that had the intake filters taped over, I guess as some weird form of auto erotic asphyxiation.
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Posted: 1/6/2015 10:01:29 PM EDT
[#22]
A female coworker was on her period and bled all over her office chair. She was so embarrassed I felt really bad for her.
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Posted: 1/6/2015 10:01:49 PM EDT
[#23]
I was attached to a SF group. While pulling guard duty I heard some noises from the mess hall tent. Turned out to be two guys banging a Navy chick.
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Posted: 1/6/2015 10:02:41 PM EDT
[#24]
Whole lots of gay up in here.
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Posted: 1/6/2015 10:03:06 PM EDT
[#25]
When I was a pipeline welder, I seen the other welder on the job jacking a dog off, seen an old whore getting ate out by a dog, and I have seen blow being snorted off a hooked ass
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Posted: 1/6/2015 10:03:11 PM EDT
[#26]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
One coworker was caught jerking it in the cutters galley(kitchen)... At a port call in Antigua (spelling?) after a night of heavy drinking 4 guy were found slepping naked in a coffin rack. (36 inches wide 18 inches deep and 7 foot long.) Then there was the shower party... deck force shoved a rather large nonrate into a shower stall(not much larger than a rack) used the fire hose, deck brushes and Ajax to get him clean. After 3 weeks underway and the nonrate hadn't showered the BM Chief told the BM2 to "handle it". Although the worst was the Phantom Shitter.... He taged the quarter deck, main p-way and between the mains underway. I was on a Navy Fleet Tug (ATF-156) for a couple of years. We had a phantom shitter, too. We found turds on the fantail, in most of the engineering spaces, and even on the mess deck. Things really got hot when he left one in the middle of the deck in the XO's cabin. We were in Gitmo when he finally got caught. He was transferred to the Naval Hospital there within the hour. The really funny thing was his name........Bumburger. |
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Posted: 1/6/2015 10:03:16 PM EDT
[#27]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Little ceasers used to make fresh dough, caught the morning guy having sex with it. Posted Via AR15.Com Mobile This happened to me, too...in Michigan. (Oakland County). Was the guy named Joe? |
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Posted: 1/6/2015 10:03:55 PM EDT
[#28]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
A female coworker was on her period and bled all over her office chair. She was so embarrassed I felt really bad for her. I have to admit that was pretty bad. I'm sure she was totally mortified.
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Posted: 1/6/2015 10:06:38 PM EDT
[#29]
Quote HistoryQuoted: A lot of Filipinos do it here. Footprints  Used to think they were tring to hide or something? Quote HistoryQuoted: Quoted: Used to have a cow orker who insisted on standing on the shitter to poop. A lot of Filipinos do it here. Footprints Used to think they were tring to hide or something? Relieving the tension on his puborectalis muscle. |
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Posted: 1/6/2015 10:10:14 PM EDT
[#30]
Quote HistoryQuoted: had a one guy who would take a leak at the urinal with both hands squarely on his hips in a "superman" pose of sorts. had another guy get fed up and quit, he took his boots off and left them standing where he should of been. took the manager about an hour to figure out he quit. I walked in the restroom one time to find a grown-ass 50 something co-worker with his pants around his ankles peeing at a urinal like a toddler. Spotty hispanic ass on full display. -p.
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Posted: 1/6/2015 10:11:17 PM EDT
[#31]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Ah yes, the hover-shit.. calling card of the third world. Quote HistoryQuoted: Quoted: Used to have a cow orker who insisted on standing on the shitter to poop. Ah yes, the hover-shit.. calling card of the third world.  |
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Posted: 1/6/2015 10:15:43 PM EDT
[#32]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
When I was a pipeline welder, I seen the other welder on the job jacking a dog off, seen an old whore getting ate out by a dog, and I have seen blow being snorted off a hooked ass I thought they said weird stuff? Heck this is just about normal in the pipeline world.
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Posted: 1/6/2015 10:17:47 PM EDT
[#33]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
and deep. Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
water is usually cold and deep. and the bottom's sandy. |
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Posted: 1/6/2015 10:19:53 PM EDT
[#34]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Pissed in a Gatorade bottle and left it inside an armored car For like a month? That would be weird. Overnight? Meh, people forget stuff sometimes. |
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Posted: 1/6/2015 10:21:03 PM EDT
[#35]
Walked in on old guy manager washing his balls in a bathroom sink. Not a single stall bathroom but a big one like 5+ stalls. What's the deal with old guys? Seems soon as they step in a room with running water the junk comes out (see any gym locker room anywhere).
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Posted: 1/6/2015 10:21:47 PM EDT
[#36]
My turn..
.....I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched C-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhauser gate.... Nope I have nothing I can pass on.. |
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Posted: 1/6/2015 10:23:00 PM EDT
[#37]
caught our IT guy watching porn.
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Posted: 1/6/2015 10:23:14 PM EDT
[#38]
I was that guy...I banged my secretary on my desk and was caught by a girl that worked up in front office....she didn't say anything just watched. Don't know how long she was there, when I looked up she turned red, smiled and walked off.
 I just kept getting it
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Posted: 1/6/2015 10:24:28 PM EDT
[#39]
Saw some guys trying to drive an electric golf cart up a set of air stairs.
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Posted: 1/6/2015 10:25:43 PM EDT
[#40]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
What would even be the point? Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
I had a guy that worked with me at a home improvement store we will call it. We worked in the paint department. Delt with dick bag contractors all the time. One special guy was being an extra dick that morning needed paint for his moms house and "needs it's fucking now" but I figured whatever o well. Went out the back dock door for a smoke, come back let's call him Kyle is pants around his ankles jerking off in this dudes gallon of paint. Looks at me directly in the eye and says "fuck this guy". Let's just at the rest of work was a little weird. What would even be the point? Everytime the asshole comes in for more paint, the employee can say "Your mom's walls are painted with my splooge"? |
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Posted: 1/6/2015 10:26:52 PM EDT
[#41]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Phantom shitter, but management tried to keep it quiet. Unfortunately for them, they had the mentally-handicapped janitors clean it up, so by the end of the next day, the entire building knew the janitors had been cleaning up dookie from the carpet.
Kharn You have carpeted shitters? |
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Posted: 1/6/2015 10:28:20 PM EDT
[#42]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Walked in the office and saw a young engineer measuring a bananna with some calipers. He stopped when he saw me and put it away. Strange. of all the funny shit posted here, this actually made me cry with laughter. I just cannot possibly fathom any instance in which i would need to measure a banana at all, let alone with calipers. did he later in life go on to invent the banana bunker? or did he look like this 
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Posted: 1/6/2015 10:30:25 PM EDT
[#43]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
I had a guy that worked with me at a home improvement store we will call it. We worked in the paint department. Delt with dick bag contractors all the time. One special guy was being an extra dick that morning needed paint for his moms house and "needs it's fucking now" but I figured whatever o well. Went out the back dock door for a smoke, come back let's call him Kyle is pants around his ankles jerking off in this dudes gallon of paint. Looks at me directly in the eye and says "fuck this guy". Let's just at the rest of work was a little weird. Maybe I am a sick fuck, but I laughed really hard at this. |
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Posted: 1/6/2015 10:30:28 PM EDT
[#44]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
What would even be the point? Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
I had a guy that worked with me at a home improvement store we will call it. We worked in the paint department. Delt with dick bag contractors all the time. One special guy was being an extra dick that morning needed paint for his moms house and "needs it's fucking now" but I figured whatever o well. Went out the back dock door for a smoke, come back let's call him Kyle is pants around his ankles jerking off in this dudes gallon of paint. Looks at me directly in the eye and says "fuck this guy". Let's just at the rest of work was a little weird. What would even be the point? "See that house over there? It has my jizz on it." |
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Posted: 1/6/2015 10:33:03 PM EDT
[#45]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
I was that guy...I banged my secretary on my desk and was caught by a girl that worked up in front office....she didn't say anything just watched. Don't know how long she was there, when I looked up she turned red, smiled and walked off. I just kept getting itso you work in porn? |
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Posted: 1/6/2015 10:33:26 PM EDT
[#46]
There is a guy at work we call Master Blaster.
How he was hired no one knows, but apparently his duties are: Sitting on the toilet in the bathroom for 3 hours a day. This is not an embellishment. Standing facing the toilet for at least 20 minutes, twice a day This is why I bring this up in this thread. What the fuck?
Texting for about an hour a day Going out back and taking a smoke break once an hour And occasionally doing an odd hour or two of actual work grinding waste material to be burned in the boiler. |
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Posted: 1/6/2015 10:34:21 PM EDT
[#47]
When I was in Airborne school, a female E5 was caught flicking her bean at the staff duty desk with one of those paperweight de-milled 20mm rounds. Sounds fun but she was busted, even to a guy that had been on Sand Hill for 16 weeks
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Posted: 1/6/2015 10:34:59 PM EDT
[#48]
Sent a cracked out pipeline welder to the dump with some stuff from a job. He didnt come back and i was ready to fire him anyway so i drove to the dump and he was fishing.
The wastewater plant was on the same property as the dump. That stupid fuck was fishing in the sewer water. |
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Posted: 1/6/2015 10:35:36 PM EDT
[#49]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Maybe I am a sick fuck, but I laughed really hard at this. Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
I had a guy that worked with me at a home improvement store we will call it. We worked in the paint department. Delt with dick bag contractors all the time. One special guy was being an extra dick that morning needed paint for his moms house and "needs it's fucking now" but I figured whatever o well. Went out the back dock door for a smoke, come back let's call him Kyle is pants around his ankles jerking off in this dudes gallon of paint. Looks at me directly in the eye and says "fuck this guy". Let's just at the rest of work was a little weird. Maybe I am a sick fuck, but I laughed really hard at this. I was like 17 and thoroughly disturbed. I guess when I look back now it's pretty comical lol |
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Posted: 1/6/2015 10:37:43 PM EDT
[#50]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
I never caught a co-worker doing anything really weird I guess, but I did know this one guy once who would eat raw hot dogs with mayonnaise on them for his lunch. It made me want to fucking hurl. I watched a guy eating cold hot dogs dipped in a jar of tartar sauce!
Nasty! |
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