Stupidest job/title you have ever seen? - Page 2

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[ARCHIVED THREAD] - Stupidest job/title you have ever seen? (Page 2 of 3)

Posted: 8/23/2016 4:35:29 PM EDT

[#1]

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Quoted:
"Relationship Manager" at our local Bank of America.

87% of ARFCOM needs to make an appointment.

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That's my title at home.

Posted: 8/23/2016 4:35:47 PM EDT

[#2]

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Quoted:

Chief Salesforce Account Management Officer

The job and title were created out of nepotism for the owner's son, who got an associate's degree in business.

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You bitter, do you even have a degree? Much less one in business? It's serious business.

Posted: 8/23/2016 4:36:00 PM EDT

[#3]

I have been trying to get the title: Director of Operational Awesomeness at the last 3 companies. No one has accepted yet. I should just make my own cards.

Posted: 8/23/2016 4:36:02 PM EDT

[#4]

Head Packer

And I'm not kidding. It's essentially the Foreman of the Packaging Dept.

Posted: 8/23/2016 4:36:52 PM EDT

[#5]

People who call themselves captain just because they have some little license

Posted: 8/23/2016 4:38:46 PM EDT

[#6]

On resumes I have put "master baiter" as a job description ofbeing a lobsterman.

Posted: 8/23/2016 4:39:12 PM EDT

[#7]

we exist

Posted: 8/23/2016 4:49:21 PM EDT

[#8]

Subways- sandwich artisian......

Posted: 8/23/2016 4:50:17 PM EDT

[#9]

Quote History

Quoted:
Head of Diversity and Inclusion

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Yeeeeepppp

Posted: 8/23/2016 4:51:45 PM EDT

[#10]

Regulatory Compliance officer.

Posted: 8/23/2016 4:54:25 PM EDT

[#11]

I'll go with Human Resources for $500 Alex.

Posted: 8/23/2016 4:57:56 PM EDT

[#12]

One of our secretaries has the job title "computer operator." She does not do IT work, and almost every employee in the company has a computer also.

Posted: 8/23/2016 5:00:36 PM EDT

[#13]

Old boss made me "crew chief" as in head moron of a racing team but it carried over to the retail brick and mortar portion of the venture so what it really meant was manager without the pay.

Then I joined the Army and quickly made cpl which meant nco without the pay.

Left the Army and was labeled "projects team leader" which also meant manager without the pay.

Posted: 8/23/2016 5:06:09 PM EDT

[#14]

My teen-aged son is an "Associate Member Service Associate" at a nearby golf course.

Posted: 8/23/2016 5:11:33 PM EDT

[#15]

Business Performance Analyst.

Posted: 8/23/2016 5:12:07 PM EDT

[#16]

Fluffer

Posted: 8/23/2016 5:47:23 PM EDT

[#17]

Quote History

Quoted:

You bitter, do you even have a degree? Much less one in business? It's serious business.

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Quoted:

Quoted:
Chief Salesforce Account Management Officer

The job and title were created out of nepotism for the owner's son, who got an associate's degree in business.

You bitter, do you even have a degree? Much less one in business? It's serious business.

I'm not bitter. I dated a girl who worked there.

I've got a Bachelor's under my belt.

Posted: 8/23/2016 5:55:05 PM EDT

[#18]

Saw someone on the science channel with title "Astro Biologist".

That must me a frustrating gig considering the amount of bio in the astro.

Posted: 8/23/2016 6:15:48 PM EDT

[#19]

"Arborist" aka tree trimmer.

Posted: 8/23/2016 6:17:52 PM EDT

[#20]

I was once a CLIT--certified landscape installation technician. I got that through the OSU Ag school. We usually just shortened it to CLT.

Posted: 8/23/2016 6:20:59 PM EDT

[#21]

Surgical supply distribution coordinator.

Posted: 8/23/2016 6:28:58 PM EDT

[#22]

I once met a guy whose business card and job title said "futurist".

His job? He had a hard time explaining it, but I understand that he was some kind of consultant that advised companies of the impacts of technology that doesn't yet exist.

Posted: 8/23/2016 6:31:32 PM EDT

[#23]

Chief Diversity Officer

Posted: 8/23/2016 6:33:53 PM EDT

[#24]

Quote History

Quoted:
I'm not bitter. I dated a girl who worked there.

I've got a Bachelor's under my belt.

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Quoted:

Quoted:

Chief Salesforce Account Management Officer

The job and title were created out of nepotism for the owner's son, who got an associate's degree in business.

You bitter, do you even have a degree? Much less one in business? It's serious business.

I'm not bitter. I dated a girl who worked there.

I've got a Bachelor's under my belt.

Sorry, it was a joke about unemployed people with business degrees.

Posted: 8/23/2016 6:34:17 PM EDT

[#25]

Vice President in charge of sitting by the door.

Posted: 8/23/2016 6:38:23 PM EDT

[#26]

Quote History

Quoted:

Chief Diversity Officer

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Which is ironic all around. When I think of diversity I think I should have more than one way to accomplish something. Which if a person is "The Chief" doesn't that imply opression? And "Officer" sure as hell implies opression. Maybe they should be Co-Non-Specific-All-Inclusive-Diversity-Entity. Or maybe just be honest and call HMFIC of Opression.

Hmm, off to twitter to get clairification.

Posted: 8/23/2016 6:38:26 PM EDT

[#27]

Director of First Impressions, aka Receptionist.

Posted: 8/23/2016 6:46:34 PM EDT

[#28]

I'm an executive office assistant.

my manager left 3 months ago and its just me by myself in the office, so who do i assist?

Posted: 8/23/2016 6:48:07 PM EDT

[#29]

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Quoted:
My title is "Operating Systems Analyst"

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LOL so you do desktop support?

Posted: 8/23/2016 6:49:06 PM EDT

[#30]

when I worked in Kali, there was a union job title "guine chaser" or guine hopper: basicly the guy
carried a shovel & cleaned off the blue tops for the blade operator when doing finish grading
on road base,,,,,

then there's always the hod carrier

Posted: 8/23/2016 6:58:51 PM EDT

[#31]

Quote History

Quoted:
Technology Evangelist

Posted Via AR15.Com Mobile

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Maybe so, but when you're the Tech evangelist for the right company, and you're good at it, "Tech Evangelist" becomes synonymous with "billionaire"

Posted: 8/23/2016 7:27:14 PM EDT

[#32]

Director of First Impressions = Front desk lady who answers the phone and directs your call.??

Posted: 8/23/2016 7:33:45 PM EDT

[#33]

Fluffer.

Posted: 8/23/2016 7:38:40 PM EDT

[#34]

Community Organizer

Posted: 8/23/2016 7:41:03 PM EDT

[#35]

Senior Deputy assistant for client affairs.

Posted: 8/23/2016 7:41:48 PM EDT

[#36]

Quote History

Quoted:
I'll go with Human Resources for $500 Alex.

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DING DING DING DING DING DING DING!!!!!

Posted: 8/23/2016 7:43:28 PM EDT

[#37]

Assistant Project Engineer. Was treated like an Ape.

Posted: 8/23/2016 7:44:43 PM EDT

[#38]

Workflow Specialist.

Posted: 8/23/2016 7:46:15 PM EDT

[#39]

Barista

Means something in Italy. Here it doesn't mean shit esp. when Buttfucks uses automatic machines.

Posted: 8/23/2016 7:58:57 PM EDT

[#40]

The machine shop guys made me a sign which said "Chief Senior Office Boy and Principal Gofer"

My boss didn't think it was funny.

Posted: 8/23/2016 8:00:55 PM EDT

[#41]

Did an event with Google staff and when we met with their "Away Team" their business cards all had nonsense titles. One guy was the "Mage of Mojo". Their PR dude was the "Doctor of Spin".

Posted: 8/23/2016 8:04:03 PM EDT

[#42]

Quote History

Quoted:
Barista

Means something in Italy. Here it doesn't mean shit esp. when Buttfucks uses automatic machines.

http://baristamagazine.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2016/03/Sergey-Mitrofanov-Barista-Champion.jpg

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Whiskey Tango Foxtrot. What ailment does the "lad?" In this pic suffer from?

Posted: 8/23/2016 8:08:14 PM EDT

[#43]

Sales Associate. This is really a store clerk, which is an honorable title. Sales Associate is some sort of P.C. term that seems to demean the position.

Posted: 8/23/2016 8:15:08 PM EDT

[#44]

Quote History

Quoted:

Whiskey Tango Foxtrot. What ailment does the "lad?" In this pic suffer from?

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Quoted:

Quoted:
Barista

Means something in Italy. Here it doesn't mean shit esp. when Buttfucks uses automatic machines.

http://baristamagazine.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2016/03/Sergey-Mitrofanov-Barista-Champion.jpg

Whiskey Tango Foxtrot. What ailment does the "lad?" In this pic suffer from?

Withdrawal...

Posted: 8/23/2016 8:17:16 PM EDT

[#45]

Quote History

Quoted:

USA, circa 1995, I was designated, among other junior officer additional duties, the Battalion Seal Control Officer.

Nobody knew what the hell the job was, but some dumbass 2LT had to hold the position, so it was me. I endured a lot of ribbing from the O-3s about the loose seals that were running around the Bn area causing havoc....

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Quoted:

Quoted:
USMC, circa 1995, I was designated our unit's Toe Hazard NCO.

That is not on my LinkedIn profile.

USA, circa 1995, I was designated, among other junior officer additional duties, the Battalion Seal Control Officer.

Nobody knew what the hell the job was, but some dumbass 2LT had to hold the position, so it was me. I endured a lot of ribbing from the O-3s about the loose seals that were running around the Bn area causing havoc....

Gotta love those awesome and vital collateral duties.