No call back after a first date? What to do.. - Page 3

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[ARCHIVED THREAD] - No call back after a first date? What to do.. (Page 3 of 6)

Posted: 9/9/2012 8:58:39 PM EDT

[#1]

Quoted:

Quoted:

A few months back my cousin told me about this girl that was asking about me as she worked with him and she apparently kept bugging him. Since I am newly single I figured on talking to her. Typically I just show up in person and ask them to get some coffee with me. She doesn't work with my cousin anymore, but she has a facebook. Is there any proper protocol for this situation? I've never officially met her in real life although I have seen her when I was visiting with my friend and she obviously saw me enough to ask who I was.

Any ideas here?

I'm at a loss. The protocol for modern dating absolutely eludes me. So glad I got married this summer, because if I didn't... I'd be lost.

Like a pig in the wilderness.

I'm not the best at it, but in this particular situation I am stumped. Typically I meet someone in real life and talk a bit and then ask them to grab coffee. This time I don't want to be like "Hey I heard about you from XX, want to grab some coffee?" That just seems a bit weird to me.

I think the two statements in red say it all. While you may not have actually "met," there does seem to be some interest.

Dude, just put it out there. What's the worst that could happen?

She wouldn't have asked if she wasn't interested.

Posted: 9/9/2012 9:07:14 PM EDT

[#2]

True. I figured I'd just say fuck it. I

Man I never thought that in person would be easier than online, but I guess that is why I've always been an in person guy. Hate talking on the phone and texting for the most part. Although in highschool when I had few girls I was making the rounds with I sent 10,000 texts in one month.

Matured and got more serious since then.

Posted: 9/9/2012 9:08:19 PM EDT

[#3]

Quoted:

Quoted:
A few months back my cousin told me about this girl that was asking about me as she worked with him and she apparently kept bugging him. Since I am newly single I figured on talking to her. Typically I just show up in person and ask them to get some coffee with me. She doesn't work with my cousin anymore, but she has a facebook. Is there any proper protocol for this situation? I've never officially met her in real life although I have seen her when I was visiting with my friend and she obviously saw me enough to ask who I was.

Any ideas here?

I'm at a loss. The protocol for modern dating absolutely eludes me. So glad I got married this summer, because if I didn't... I'd be lost.

Like a pig in the wilderness.

I'm not the best at it, but in this particular situation I am stumped. Typically I meet someone in real life and talk a bit and then ask them to grab coffee. This time I don't want to be like "Hey I heard about you from XX, want to grab some coffee?" That just seems a bit weird to me.

Do this: have your cousin make Facebook contact and tell her to tell the girl you are interested, then have her say "hey I told my cousin about you and I think he's interested. Here's his Facebook. Give him a shout and maybe you two can hit it off" if she's still interested. That will make it look like your cousin is playing matchmaker rather than you seeking her out.

Eta never mind, you fent.

Posted: 9/9/2012 9:09:13 PM EDT

[#4]

Quoted:
Act like you could care less, no contact.

Boom.

Posted: 9/9/2012 9:09:14 PM EDT

[#5]

Quoted:

Quoted:
A few months back my cousin told me about this girl that was asking about me as she worked with him and she apparently kept bugging him. Since I am newly single I figured on talking to her. Typically I just show up in person and ask them to get some coffee with me. She doesn't work with my cousin anymore, but she has a facebook. Is there any proper protocol for this situation? I've never officially met her in real life although I have seen her when I was visiting with my friend and she obviously saw me enough to ask who I was.

Any ideas here?

I'm at a loss. The protocol for modern dating absolutely eludes me. So glad I got married this summer, because if I didn't... I'd be lost.

Like a pig in the wilderness.

I'm not the best at it, but in this particular situation I am stumped. Typically I meet someone in real life and talk a bit and then ask them to grab coffee. This time I don't want to be like "Hey I heard about you from XX, want to grab some coffee?" That just seems a bit weird to me.

Do this: have your cousin make Facebook contact and tell her to tell the girl you are interested, then have her say "hey I told my cousin about you and I think he's interested. Here's his Facebook. Give him a shout and maybe you two can hit it off" if she's still interested. That will make it look like your cousin is playing matchmaker rather than you seeking her out.

Beast idea. Msg sent for danger close.

Posted: 9/9/2012 9:10:08 PM EDT

[#6]

If you do hang out again, i suggest you stay away from alcohol. You are not going to get to know eachother if you are shit faced everytime you're together.

Posted: 9/9/2012 9:10:35 PM EDT

[#7]

Next

she got drunk on your money, she is happy, find another girl.

Posted: 9/9/2012 9:15:58 PM EDT

[#8]

Whey8 is that you?

Posted: 9/9/2012 9:18:16 PM EDT

[#9]

Quoted:

Quoted:
You were drinking back at her place and you didn't even kiss her? She thinks your're gay.

This.

It was her parent's who she happens to be living with for the time being. It wasn't like I sprawled out on the couch with her. I was tiptoeing around downstairs trying not to wake up her parents. Yea I could have gone in for the fingerbang in her parent's kitchen but like I said, I was somewhat concerned her dad would come down and not be too happy.

Are you in high school or something? If the red flag that she lives with her parents didn't already turn you off, why do you care about her parents. You're both grown ass adults. Who gives a fuck about dad?

You fucked it up, and now she doesn't want to talk. We've all been there. Better luck next time.

And just out of curiosity: Who paid for the drinks?

Posted: 9/9/2012 9:20:28 PM EDT

[#10]

Quoted:

Quoted:
You were drinking back at her place and you didn't even kiss her? She thinks your're gay.

This.

It was her parent's who she happens to be living with for the time being. It wasn't like I sprawled out on the couch with her. I was tiptoeing around downstairs trying not to wake up her parents. Yea I could have gone in for the fingerbang in her parent's kitchen but like I said, I was somewhat concerned her dad would come down and not be too happy.

Are you in high school or something? If the red flag that she lives with her parents didn't already turn you off, why do you care about her parents. You're both grown ass adults. Who gives a fuck about dad?

You fucked it up, and now she doesn't want to talk. We've all been there. Better luck next time.

And just out of curiosity: Who paid for the drinks?

Ayup.

Posted: 9/9/2012 9:22:14 PM EDT

[#11]

Quoted:

Quoted:
You were drinking back at her place and you didn't even kiss her? She thinks your're gay.

This.

It was her parent's who she happens to be living with for the time being. It wasn't like I sprawled out on the couch with her. I was tiptoeing around downstairs trying not to wake up her parents. Yea I could have gone in for the fingerbang in her parent's kitchen but like I said, I was somewhat concerned her dad would come down and not be too happy.

Are you in high school or something? If the red flag that she lives with her parents didn't already turn you off, why do you care about her parents. You're both grown ass adults. Who gives a fuck about dad?

You fucked it up, and now she doesn't want to talk. We've all been there. Better luck next time.

And just out of curiosity: Who paid for the drinks?

Me. She's 22 btw.

Posted: 9/9/2012 9:22:24 PM EDT

[#12]

Quoted:
http://media.fakeposters.com/results/2009/07/24/twfz602uaw.jpg

That's an ottoman.

Posted: 9/9/2012 9:24:44 PM EDT

[#13]

Quoted:

Quoted:
You were drinking back at her place and you didn't even kiss her? She thinks your're gay.

This.

It was her parent's who she happens to be living with for the time being. It wasn't like I sprawled out on the couch with her. I was tiptoeing around downstairs trying not to wake up her parents. Yea I could have gone in for the fingerbang in her parent's kitchen but like I said, I was somewhat concerned her dad would come down and not be too happy.

Are you in high school or something? If the red flag that she lives with her parents didn't already turn you off, why do you care about her parents. You're both grown ass adults. Who gives a fuck about dad?

You fucked it up, and now she doesn't want to talk. We've all been there. Better luck next time.

And just out of curiosity: Who paid for the drinks?

Me. She's 22 btw.

I would have left when I found out she lived with her parents.

Posted: 9/9/2012 9:26:56 PM EDT

[#14]

Don't worry about it. Chances are that she is the one with issues.

And by the way, this would be a lot easier if you were a medical doctor.

Posted: 9/9/2012 9:27:29 PM EDT

[#15]

Quoted:

Quoted:
You were drinking back at her place and you didn't even kiss her? She thinks your're gay.

This.

It was her parent's who she happens to be living with for the time being. It wasn't like I sprawled out on the couch with her. I was tiptoeing around downstairs trying not to wake up her parents. Yea I could have gone in for the fingerbang in her parent's kitchen but like I said, I was somewhat concerned her dad would come down and not be too happy.

Are you in high school or something? If the red flag that she lives with her parents didn't already turn you off, why do you care about her parents. You're both grown ass adults. Who gives a fuck about dad?

You fucked it up, and now she doesn't want to talk. We've all been there. Better luck next time.

And just out of curiosity: Who paid for the drinks?

Me. She's 22 btw.

I would have left when I found out she lived with her parents.

Nah kids can hit some hard times during that age, and the economy is shit. You don't know her situation so don't act all superior.

Posted: 9/9/2012 9:31:35 PM EDT

[#16]

Quoted:
read title and thought this was a deej thread.

LMAO

Posted: 9/9/2012 9:32:50 PM EDT

[#17]

Quoted:

Quoted:
You were drinking back at her place and you didn't even kiss her? She thinks your're gay.

This.

It was her parent's who she happens to be living with for the time being. It wasn't like I sprawled out on the couch with her. I was tiptoeing around downstairs trying not to wake up her parents. Yea I could have gone in for the fingerbang in her parent's kitchen but like I said, I was somewhat concerned her dad would come down and not be too happy.

Are you in high school or something? If the red flag that she lives with her parents didn't already turn you off, why do you care about her parents. You're both grown ass adults. Who gives a fuck about dad?

You fucked it up, and now she doesn't want to talk. We've all been there. Better luck next time.

And just out of curiosity: Who paid for the dritnks?

Me. She's 22 btw.

I would have left when I found out she lived with her parents.

Nah kids can hit some hard times during that age, and the economy is shit. You don't know her situation so don't act all superior.

I'm not superior to anything. I understand that issue, but if she is out drinking and having fun that apparently she is satisfied with her current living situation and thus probably isn't trying to improve it much. It is my personal policy bad luck or not that if you live with your parents I'm not getting involved.

Posted: 9/9/2012 9:33:52 PM EDT

[#18]

Quoted:

Quoted:
You were drinking back at her place and you didn't even kiss her? She thinks your're gay.

This.

It was her parent's who she happens to be living with for the time being. It wasn't like I sprawled out on the couch with her. I was tiptoeing around downstairs trying not to wake up her parents. Yea I could have gone in for the fingerbang in her parent's kitchen but like I said, I was somewhat concerned her dad would come down and not be too happy.

Are you in high school or something? If the red flag that she lives with her parents didn't already turn you off, why do you care about her parents. You're both grown ass adults. Who gives a fuck about dad?

You fucked it up, and now she doesn't want to talk. We've all been there. Better luck next time.

And just out of curiosity: Who paid for the drinks?

Me. She's 22 btw.

I would have left when I found out she lived with her parents.

Same here, most likely. Unless I was just looking to get my pecker wet, then I'd just bring her to my place.

Anyways, going out all night and paying for everything is for suckers. If she's not buying a least a few rounds, get rid of her. You are being used, or she is broke; both are qualities best avoided.

Posted: 9/9/2012 9:36:24 PM EDT

[#19]

Quoted:

Quoted:
You were drinking back at her place and you didn't even kiss her? She thinks your're gay.

This.

It was her parent's who she happens to be living with for the time being. It wasn't like I sprawled out on the couch with her. I was tiptoeing around downstairs trying not to wake up her parents. Yea I could have gone in for the fingerbang in her parent's kitchen but like I said, I was somewhat concerned her dad would come down and not be too happy.

Are you in high school or something? If the red flag that she lives with her parents didn't already turn you off, why do you care about her parents. You're both grown ass adults. Who gives a fuck about dad?

You fucked it up, and now she doesn't want to talk. We've all been there. Better luck next time.

And just out of curiosity: Who paid for the drinks?

Me. She's 22 btw.

I would have left when I found out she lived with her parents.

Same here, most likely. Unless I was just looking to get my pecker wet, then I'd just bring her to my place.

Anyways, going out all night and paying for everything is for suckers. If she's not buying a least a few rounds, get ride of her. You are being used, or she is broke; both are qualities best avoided.

Yep agree there.

I used to have a rule on the paying thing, but I can't remember the particulars, but it was basically don't pay for a fucking thing, ever no matter how she acts or what she says. Do not get fooled.

Posted: 9/9/2012 9:37:02 PM EDT

[#20]

Quoted:
read title and thought this was a deej thread.

You too?

Man up. Get over it. She either will or won't.

Has parenting got out the window so much that men come here to myspace shit?

Posted: 9/9/2012 9:37:27 PM EDT

[#21]

When this happens to me I hide outside their house and masturbate in the shadows.

Posted: 9/9/2012 9:40:23 PM EDT

[#22]

Why are we getting so many of these type of threads. Is it just a new fad? Are they all by one guy? Some kind of conspiracy?

Posted: 9/9/2012 9:41:10 PM EDT

[#23]

Quoted:
read title and thought this was a deej thread.

First post nailed it.

Posted: 9/9/2012 9:44:57 PM EDT

[#24]

Quoted:
You were drinking back at her place and you didn't even kiss her? She thinks your're gay.

Come on dude really? After a night like that I would have banged her in the driveway or got a bj from her at least. She obviously wanted your company to invite you back to her place.

Brush up on either your game or renew your brazzers account cause you will need more than the force, it is not strong within you.

It would help if you gave a description of what she looks like or even better a pic for better analysis on what do.

Posted: 9/9/2012 9:50:26 PM EDT

[#25]

Quoted:
Whey8 is that you?

Posted: 9/9/2012 11:51:36 PM EDT

[#26]

Call her from a different number and see if she answers. Then you'll know if it's you.

BTW, it is.

Posted: 9/9/2012 11:53:03 PM EDT

[#27]

Quoted:
Jerk off like everybody else.

Are you saying that he should, or that he is?

It can be read both ways.

Posted: 9/10/2012 12:00:42 AM EDT

[#28]

Hmm... No wolf stare advice yet?

Quoted:

Quoted:
Jerk off like everybody else.

Are you saying that he should, or that he is?

It can be read both ways.

Posted: 9/10/2012 12:29:06 AM EDT

[#29]

Quoted:

Quoted:

You were drinking back at her place and you didn't even kiss her? She thinks your're gay.

This.

It was her parent's who she happens to be living with for the time being. It wasn't like I sprawled out on the couch with her. I was tiptoeing around downstairs trying not to wake up her parents. Yea I could have gone in for the fingerbang in her parent's kitchen but like I said, I was somewhat concerned her dad would come down and not be too happy.

Women want us to want them. If you don't at least try on the first date, even though they often will refuse, they get insulted. I'm not suggesting attempted forcible rape, just something a little short of that. Seriously though, drinking means reduced inhibitions, and bad decision making. She wanted you to at least try. Your desire for her should overpower your fear of getting caught by her parents. Otherwise, you look like a pussy. She doesn't want a pussy, she already has one, and you're not getting it. So, don't bother calling, she's over it.

Posted: 9/10/2012 12:36:23 AM EDT

[#30]

call around wednesday to invite her out for next weekend. If she doesn't answer or return that call you are done but at least it doesn't reek of desperation calling just to see if she wants to talk to you.

Posted: 9/10/2012 12:44:25 AM EDT

[#31]

Quoted:
Act like you could care less, no contact.

Posted: 9/10/2012 5:39:01 AM EDT

[#32]

Posted: 9/10/2012 5:43:59 AM EDT

[#33]

Quoted:

Quoted:
stop calling!!!

I called her once and haven't called her since. So I've already stopped. The question is if I should even call her again or just move on.

Just move on and be done with it.

Posted: 9/10/2012 5:46:14 AM EDT

[#34]

Move on, she's not interested

Posted: 9/10/2012 5:51:42 AM EDT

[#35]

Sometimes I don't get women either. I guess if they just said what they were thinking, there would be a lot less divorces. Games are for children.

Posted: 9/10/2012 9:05:31 AM EDT

[#36]

You should have fucked her like she wanted. Now she thinks you are a 'nice guy' and is no longer interested. That is how they are nowadays. POF girl right? Always go for broke on them first date. If you refrain from contacting her further you may be able to salvage it.

Posted: 9/10/2012 9:09:33 AM EDT

[#37]

Quoted:
Ok so I met a girl about a week ago and had been texting her back and forth all week. I called her on Wed. and basically told her I was taking her on a date. I took her out Friday and we were both drinking alot, which is cool because I like to drink and evidently so does she. We spent probably 3-4 hours boozing and talking. Then she suggested we go to another bar closer to her house, which we did. Had another beer and THEN she suggested we go back to her place for another beer on the porch (actually her parent's place). At this point it's like 2 in the morning, we talked and drank some more until about 3-3:30. Everything seemed good BUT I think I screwed up by not kissing her, just a hug when I left. She told me to text or call her tomorrow. The next day we had a short text conversation and I tried to call her later that night. No phone answer and no call back or text since saturday. Now I really do not want to call her again or text her if she doesn't call me back because I find it disrespectful. Should I wait a couple days and try to contact her again or just let it go?

I work on a 3 tries policy. If there's not an existing relationship I'll try to contact someone 3 times w/ appropriate times between them. If they don't respond I walk away. They can get back w/ me but I don't try again past that.

Posted: 9/10/2012 9:10:02 AM EDT

[#38]

You called, left a message, and maybe a text? You did your part. Now keep on moving forward and don't act too terribly interested. She'll either respond or she won't. Hey, you got a 50/50 shot.

Don't over think all of this.

Posted: 9/10/2012 9:11:51 AM EDT

[#39]

Quoted:
Let it go.

Posted: 9/10/2012 9:13:18 AM EDT

[#40]

If she doesn't call back today, you need to start leaving threatening messages. She is probably just playing hard to get. Remember, a restraining order is just a court ordered invitation to stop by.

Posted: 9/10/2012 9:19:20 AM EDT

[#41]

Why anyone would come here for dating advised is beyond me...very funny reply's though

Posted: 9/10/2012 9:20:35 AM EDT

[#42]

Quoted:

Quoted:
Ok so I met a girl about a week ago and had been texting her back and forth all week. I called her on Wed. and basically told her I was taking her on a date. I took her out Friday and we were both drinking alot, which is cool because I like to drink and evidently so does she. We spent probably 3-4 hours boozing and talking. Then she suggested we go to another bar closer to her house, which we did. Had another beer and THEN she suggested we go back to her place for another beer on the porch (actually her parent's place). At this point it's like 2 in the morning, we talked and drank some more until about 3-3:30. Everything seemed good BUT I think I screwed up by not kissing her, just a hug when I left. She told me to text or call her tomorrow. The next day we had a short text conversation and I tried to call her later that night. No phone answer and no call back or text since saturday. Now I really do not want to call her again or text her if she doesn't call me back because I find it disrespectful. Should I wait a couple days and try to contact her again or just let it go?

In our society, women are taught that they are the ones who are to be respected and honored. women, on the other hand, are not taught to give that respect in return. If you were the one not returning calls, you'd be a "jerk"... but if the girl does it, it's perfectly fine.

The dating world sucks ass.

Women do not have the corner on acting like "jerks" after a date.
I have at least one guy in my past who thinks it's "cool" to take me out once, text me all the time, but never ask me out again––even after saying "we need to do this again".

Guess what...I don't bother answering any of his texts or speaking to him at all now.

THOSE WHO WANT RESPECT GIVE RESPECT.

OP, let this one go. In the future, the $20 date is fine for most of us who aren't high maintenance. And if you're TRULY interested in the girl, ALWAYS "go for it" and try to kiss her. I respect the shit out of a man who ALWAYS goes for it (of course, I'm no 20-something either). It's something an alpha would do

respectfully,
TS

Posted: 9/10/2012 9:25:30 AM EDT

[#43]

After all that, you blew it by hugging her.

It sounds like she's pretty cool and into you but now thinks you aren't into her.

I would do like George Costanza did when he turned down coffee on that one date. Call her up and leave her a message that's long winded and talk about how you meant to kiss her and not hug her but you weren't sure and you're an idiot. If she's seen Swingers and that Seinfeld episode, she most likely will think it's kind of a cute funny rather than creepy.

Good luck.

Posted: 9/10/2012 9:25:53 AM EDT

[#44]

OP has the BO

Posted: 9/10/2012 9:27:13 AM EDT

[#45]

Quoted:
it's not too late tonight for a craigslist hooker to come over - make sure it's a chick

This is the voice of experience.

Posted: 9/10/2012 9:27:27 AM EDT

[#46]

Quoted:

Don't come here for women advice, If you wanna know the newest flavor of Mt Dew to hit the streets, or how to get Prestige on COD, GD is the place...Give her a few days, shoot her a text, if nothing, move on.

Speaking of that, the Baja Blast Mountain Dew available only at Taco Bell is awesome, and I don't even like Mountain Dew

To the OP:

The female mind is beyond my comprehension, especially that of a 22 YO drunk one.

Maybe she's out of minutes on a prepaid cell?

Maybe you were substituting for her real boyfriend while she was mad at him?

Maybe she just wanted someone to buy her drinks?

Send her a text saying "Free drinks on me tonite, you in?" If no reply, I guess got your answer.

If she replys, get hammered and nail her, then ignore HER.

Fuck if I know. Was she at least hot? Where are the pics, BTW?

Posted: 9/10/2012 9:39:53 AM EDT

[#47]

Quoted:
Dude, DO NOT back off. Call and text her repeatedly. She's playing hard to get. You know where she lives. Go park outside her house and learn her schedule. Call her from outside her house while she is inside. If no answer, leave a message telling her you can see her and you know what she's doing. Make sure you breath heavily while leaving a message. Chicks love the heavy breathing on their voice mail.

Trust me. This will work.

Then if she still doesn't respond just call and don't say anything, silence. Women love the strong, silent type.

Follow her and leave little notes on her windshield, they love that. If she still plays hard to get use a different approach
and write how she's a bitch and women are all alike. She'll come around.

OP you blew it with the hug. You should have put the tongue to her. You should have dove down under her skirt while sitting on the porch. She may have stopped you but she would have at least appreciated the thought of putting your application in as a fuckbuddy. You sterilized yourself. Now go get at the end of the line with all her other male 'friends.'

Either that or she wanted free booze and a ride home which is what I suspected when reading your post when she was working her way back to her place.

Posted: 9/10/2012 9:45:56 AM EDT

[#48]

Quoted:
You called, left a message, and maybe a text? You did your part. Now keep on moving forward and don't act too terribly interested. She'll either respond or she won't. Hey, you got a 50/50 shot.

Don't over think all of this.

I never left a voicemail.

Posted: 9/10/2012 10:15:48 AM EDT

[#49]

The OP wouldn't be in this situation if he used the DENNIS system.

Posted: 9/10/2012 10:48:03 AM EDT

[#50]

Quoted:
read title and thought this was a deej thread.

[ARCHIVED THREAD] - No call back after a first date? What to do.. (Page 3 of 6)

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