Had a trainee cop and a Sergeant show up for "Open Burning". Tiny little fire in a fire pit. I have a Gladys Kravits living next door.

Trainee came in my yard all puffed up. "We have multiple complaints about your fire."

"Really, how many?" I asked

"Umm... Yeah.  A bunch."  The trainee stammered.

"You are lying and I know it, try again."  I replied

"I read the ordinance and you can ONLY have a fire to cook food." Lying again. (Cooking, melting metal, and a celebration fire are all permitted)

"I read the ordinance and you are lying again."  I once more caught him in a lie. "Son, you used up all your time with me by lying."
I turned to the Sergeant and said. "The fire started at 9:15, I've got three hours. See you guys at 12:15"

Young guy started to pull a "Respect My Authourity!" Attitude.

"Sergeant he has crossed the line to trespassing. Please remove him"
He protested some more.
"Get in the car." The Sergeant barked. "Or I will put you in the back!"

Sergeant and I had a quick polite talk about how the neighbor was using the PD to harass us and how I didn't care for it. I asked if he wanted a copy of the ordinance. By this time I had been reading and printing out the paragraph relating to whatever I was doing. He declined.

We had them at our house 21 times without even a warning. Then the dumb bitch stepped over the line and swatted us for a man with a gun call. She nearly went to jail over that one. She stopped her shit after that one.

Wow, even my nutty neighbor in NY never called 21 times.