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Next time you make that trip, stop for a fine dinning experiance at the Dennys at the bottom of the hill. I put the wires in that store 20 some years ago and as far as I know It has not burned down.

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I'm so glad you love CA.  Can you try to convince more of your people to stay in CA and out of my neck of the woods?

XOX-
ID, MT, WY, UT, and most of CO.

(Ill take the occasional speeding ticket with a side of constitutional rights any day, all day.)

Fuck CA.

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Those lazy bastards!

I say we fire them all!!!
         

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Looking forward to OP's thread when he does get a ticket and he starts bitching about how he didn't deserve it.

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tl;dr from obama voter

The future wife and I are moving to Montana asap. She's from Helena and I'm sick of this place.

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So you were going 5mph over and a CHP saw this and didn't do anything. Afterwards you felt so lucky that you came here and posted this satire about it?

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Way too many Spanish named places/roads. Small wonder the illegals feel so at home in CA.

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TLDR? FUCK OFF!

So yesterday I had to drive from the port of entry at Calexico to Paso Robles for work. Paso Robles is about bottom of the middle of the central coast for those of you who don't know.  Its a 6 1/2 hour, 430 mile drive according to Google but its  really an 8 or 9 hour drive if you like eating and pissing occasionally and if you only get stuck in some of LA's traffic.  In short, its a long fucking drive.

But! That's not what's got me pissed at my pinko commie pantywaist nanny police state.  What's got my knickers all twisted is my state's JBT"s.  Especially our governor's own highway Nazis, the brown shirted California Highway Patrol. Yup. The CHP.  Ponch and John.  Fuckers.

So what did they do to you Grumpy? you ask.

Well I'll fucking tell you what they fucking did and you too will be as outraged as I am.

So there I am hauling ass down the grapevine into the central valley.  The grapevine is Interstate 5 between LA and Saint Cesar Chavez' sacred stomping grounds, the great central valley.  The grapevine is fast and steep and a great place for an eager young revenue generator to camp out with his government car and his government laser and pick off inattentive motorists for a proper wallet emptying.    So here's my using gravity and the massive power of my 3.3 litre V-6 Nissan power plant to fly through the Tejon (pronounced Tehone for you non-multicultural anti-Spanish language bigots) Pass and an ungodly and entirely illegal number of miles per hour over the posted legal speed limit.  As I reach the bottom of the hill, what do I see but Ponch Law sitting on the side of the road staring at me through the scope on his precision sniper speed laser.  I was caught. Dead bang fucked. Here I am with visions of traffic court and ridiculous fines bouncing through my head! I had a massive adrenaline dump and the only reason I didn't immediately blade at 45 was that my little pick up truck really sucks at drifting at freeway speeds.  Anyway, here I am dead to rights this young brown shirt's quota filler and what does this inconsiderate little prick do?  Nothing. Absolutely nothing.  What am I paying this fuck's salary for if he's just going to sit there while scofflaws like me scoff at the law right in front of him?  Fuck. I want a refund on my taxes if they ain't going to be spent keeping me safe from me.

So I am left with no choice but to continue on my merry way.  Only 2 1/2 more hours of hard driving ahead of me before I can reach Paso Robles and a well earned, if guilty, rest.

Except now I am armored with the sure knowledge that I have fought the law and the law conceded the fight.

When the GPS said turn left and go west not so young man, I went left.  (does this count as a pun since I'm writing about California?) Before you know it I'm in Grapes of Wrath territory. Nothing but grapes and rolling grazing land as far as a wrathful Okie's eye can see.  Suddenly I felt a disturbance in the force.  A chill tremor ran through me and I realized that I was approaching the James Dean memorial grease spot in the road.  Yet again I was motoring at an entirely illegal speed and yet again flying down a hill with a nice police hiding curve in the road at the bottom.  Once again I saw yon Freeway JBT giving me the stink eye through his speed laser of death. Once again I was pinched. Once again I was completely ignored.

What in the name of all that is right and good and law and order is going on here.  Twice in one trip I broke the speed laws and put my life and the lives of my fellow travelers in dire jeopardy and twice escaped rightful sanction.  Twice my employees, and officers of the revenue generating arm of the state, I mean law, failed to take my money.  

How can I continue to defend my beloved socialist utopia in the face of such failure by the states organs?

I can't.

I hereby seriously consider renouncing my California citizenship so that I can move to a free state where I will be properly chastised and maybe even jailed for reckless driving for driving 5 miles over the speed limit.


Posted Via AR15.Com Mobile

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I'm so glad you love CA.  Can you try to convince more of your people to stay in CA and out of my neck of the woods?

XOX-
ID, MT, WY, UT, and most of CO.

(Ill take the occasional speeding ticket with a side of constitutional rights any day, all day.)

Fuck CA.

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Around here they don't bother pulling you over unless you are doing 20+ over the limit.

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If I had to choose between an all expenses paid week vacation  in CA or having my legs broken, I'd have to think about it.

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*grumbles something obscene about the Ohio State Patrol*

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Don't worry OP, I got yours.

Driving through Calabasas on Tuesday morning (Where traffic is normally flowing at 75-80mph at that time of day) on my way to work, traffic is rolling at 60mph, why you ask, well a CHP on a Harley in the slow lane. So I pass, he gets over and pulls me over for doing 71, yes thats right, 6mph over, not 10, not 15, 6. I pull my DL650 to the shoulder.

He comes up and says, ya just had to be the one to pass me didn't you, I say yes sir. He says, didn't save you any time did it, I say no sir. He says have a nice day, and I'm on my way.

I love games.

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Those lazy bastards!

I say we fire them all!!!