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Posted: 7/23/2014 9:12:42 AM EDT
[#1]
I know what you mean OP, I have been with my wife for better than 22yrs, I look at the threads about dating today and I don't mind saying I would be lost without a doubt.
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Posted: 7/23/2014 9:14:14 AM EDT
[#2]
Here is a video to help you get back in the groove.
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Posted: 7/23/2014 9:32:59 AM EDT
[#3]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
It's that last part that scares the shit outta me. What if I'm not lucky? What if I can't find someone who had all the great traits as the one I just lost? Quote HistoryQuoted:
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Lighten up Go out Have fun Get laid Rinse/repeat Then one day if you're lucky you'll find the one you want to keep.  It's that last part that scares the shit outta me. What if I'm not lucky? What if I can't find someone who had all the great traits as the one I just lost? Then you'll have to learn how to do your own laundry. That's pretty much the only drawback I can see, but it isn't all that difficult. 
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Posted: 7/23/2014 10:10:57 AM EDT
[#4]
Quoted:
No joke. Marriage of 12 years went south, and now I find my self divorced. Being 35 and single kind of sucks. Every woman my age either has kids, is married, or a train wreck. To old to be hanging out in bars, and truth be told, bar skanks are not really my cup of tea. So here I am, trust in women shot, I realized last week that I have not bought clothes for myself in 12 years, now what the hell do I do? I guess it is currency, motorcycles, hot rods, and tattoos for this guy.  I'm pretty much in the same boat as you, but I have to say I'm finding single life to be so much damned fun I dont know what to do with myself. It's so very liberating to not have to schedule my life around someone else. It sounds to me like you havent gotten over the phase where you feel like you need a woman in your life. TBH, you are setting yourself up for failure again with that kind of attitude if that's the case. My advice to you is to forget about dating for awhile and just find yourself again, quit thinking that you "need" a woman to be happy. Trust me, you don't. |
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Posted: 7/23/2014 10:12:04 AM EDT
[#5]
Quoted: No joke. Marriage of 12 years went south, and now I find my self divorced. Being 35 and single kind of sucks. Every woman my age either has kids, is married, or a train wreck. To old to be hanging out in bars, and truth be told, bar skanks are not really my cup of tea. So here I am, trust in women shot, I realized last week that I have not bought clothes for myself in 12 years, now what the hell do I do? I guess it is currency, motorcycles, hot rods, and tattoos for this guy. |
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Posted: 7/23/2014 11:34:54 AM EDT
[#6]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
I'm pretty much in the same boat as you, but I have to say I'm finding single life to be so much damned fun I dont know what to do with myself. It's so very liberating to not have to schedule my life around someone else. It sounds to me like you havent gotten over the phase where you feel like you need a woman in your life. TBH, you are setting yourself up for failure again with that kind of attitude if that's the case. My advice to you is to forget about dating for awhile and just find yourself again, quit thinking that you "need" a woman to be happy. Trust me, you don't. Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
No joke. Marriage of 12 years went south, and now I find my self divorced. Being 35 and single kind of sucks. Every woman my age either has kids, is married, or a train wreck. To old to be hanging out in bars, and truth be told, bar skanks are not really my cup of tea. So here I am, trust in women shot, I realized last week that I have not bought clothes for myself in 12 years, now what the hell do I do? I guess it is currency, motorcycles, hot rods, and tattoos for this guy. I'm pretty much in the same boat as you, but I have to say I'm finding single life to be so much damned fun I dont know what to do with myself. It's so very liberating to not have to schedule my life around someone else. It sounds to me like you havent gotten over the phase where you feel like you need a woman in your life. TBH, you are setting yourself up for failure again with that kind of attitude if that's the case. My advice to you is to forget about dating for awhile and just find yourself again, quit thinking that you "need" a woman to be happy. Trust me, you don't. If a woman once was attracted to you for being a happy individual, be that happy individual again! I married what I thought was an Irish-American corned beef and cabbage gal, and she went vegetarian on me! She's happy, I'm happy, we live in different States (of the Union and of Mind) so all is well! |
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Posted: 7/26/2014 4:15:44 AM EDT
[#7]
***OPERATION ACQUIRE CURRENCY***
Has been initiated. Found a couple of old trucks to wrench on, but need to wait until next spring. Trying to find things to occupy my time and make me happy. Time will tell how well this will work out for me. I move back into my house next week, and that is going to be my first real test of how strong I really am. Nervous. Still haven't really talked to any girls. Not sure if I am ready for that yet. |
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Posted: 7/26/2014 5:01:21 AM EDT
[#8]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
***OPERATION ACQUIRE CURRENCY*** Has been initiated. Found a couple of old trucks to wrench on, but need to wait until next spring. Trying to find things to occupy my time and make me happy. Time will tell how well this will work out for me. I move back into my house next week, and that is going to be my first real test of how strong I really am. Nervous. Still haven't really talked to any girls. Not sure if I am ready for that yet. I may have missed it , but how long ago was the divorce? Your comment about how strong you are abut moving back into your house reminded me of stupid shit I thought when mine happened. The local bar was the place my ex went to .......relive singledom . I evil eyed that place whenever I drove by. I was scared to walk into it.
Eventually I did go in just to say fuck you to my ridiculous fears. One thing I can say for sure, is DO NOT be too hard on yourself during this time. I look back on the stupid shit I feared and can't even remember they whys, but I do remember how stupid I felt, how stupid I thought of myself because of them. I may have been misunderstood about the talking to women thing...... Don't worry if six months or a year go by without .....dating , that's what I would consider normal recovery , everyone is different in that as well I was trying to convey don't let a half a decade go by. time does get away from you. As I said, it's been 14 years now, they went by in the blink of an eye.
After about 6 months I was convinced that what I needed was to prove to myself that I could pick up a woman. If I could do that , all was well, I wasn't a loser. Yeah.......not so much. I did it, and it was fucking horrendous I mean nightmare.
Looking back , I bet she was just fine , but I was a fucking wreck. Sex was the worst I've ever had . But as I said , everyone's different , it's a learning experience fo sho . Do what you think you should, if it's wrong, no biggy. Best of luck brother . |
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Posted: 7/26/2014 5:02:18 AM EDT
[#9]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
I may have missed it , but how long ago was the divorce? Your comment about how strong you are abut moving back into your house reminded me of stupid shit I thought when mine happened. The local bar was the place my ex went to .......relive singledom . I evil eyed that place whenever I drove by. I was scared to walk into it.
Eventually I did go in just to say fuck you to my ridiculous fears. One thing I can say for sure, is DO NOT be too hard on yourself during this time. I look back on the stupid shit I feared and can't even remember they whys, but I do remember how stupid I felt, how stupid I thought of myself because of them. I may have been misunderstood about the talking to women thing...... Don't worry if six months or a year go by without .....dating , that's what I would consider normal recovery , everyone is different in that as well I was trying to convey don't let a half a decade go by. time does get away from you. As I said, it's been 14 years now, they went by in the blink of an eye.
After about 6 months I was convinced that what I needed was to prove to myself that I could pick up a woman. If I could do that , all was well, I wasn't a loser. Yeah.......not so much. I did it, and it was fucking horrendous I mean nightmare.
Looking back , I bet she was just fine , but I was a fucking wreck. Sex was the worst I've ever had . But as I said , everyone's different , it's a learning experience fo sho . Do what you think you should, if it's wrong, no biggy. Best of luck brother . Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
***OPERATION ACQUIRE CURRENCY*** Has been initiated. Found a couple of old trucks to wrench on, but need to wait until next spring. Trying to find things to occupy my time and make me happy. Time will tell how well this will work out for me. I move back into my house next week, and that is going to be my first real test of how strong I really am. Nervous. Still haven't really talked to any girls. Not sure if I am ready for that yet. I may have missed it , but how long ago was the divorce? Your comment about how strong you are abut moving back into your house reminded me of stupid shit I thought when mine happened. The local bar was the place my ex went to .......relive singledom . I evil eyed that place whenever I drove by. I was scared to walk into it.
Eventually I did go in just to say fuck you to my ridiculous fears. One thing I can say for sure, is DO NOT be too hard on yourself during this time. I look back on the stupid shit I feared and can't even remember they whys, but I do remember how stupid I felt, how stupid I thought of myself because of them. I may have been misunderstood about the talking to women thing...... Don't worry if six months or a year go by without .....dating , that's what I would consider normal recovery , everyone is different in that as well I was trying to convey don't let a half a decade go by. time does get away from you. As I said, it's been 14 years now, they went by in the blink of an eye.
After about 6 months I was convinced that what I needed was to prove to myself that I could pick up a woman. If I could do that , all was well, I wasn't a loser. Yeah.......not so much. I did it, and it was fucking horrendous I mean nightmare.
Looking back , I bet she was just fine , but I was a fucking wreck. Sex was the worst I've ever had . But as I said , everyone's different , it's a learning experience fo sho . Do what you think you should, if it's wrong, no biggy. Best of luck brother . Finalized last week.
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Posted: 7/26/2014 5:09:50 AM EDT
[#10]
Gotcha . Well I'm off to the lake.
 . Sunrise in about an hour 
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Posted: 7/26/2014 5:24:36 AM EDT
[#11]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
***OPERATION ACQUIRE CURRENCY*** Has been initiated. Found a couple of old trucks to wrench on, but need to wait until next spring. Trying to find things to occupy my time and make me happy. Time will tell how well this will work out for me. I move back into my house next week, and that is going to be my first real test of how strong I really am. Nervous. Still haven't really talked to any girls. Not sure if I am ready for that yet. Sounds like you really just need to take some time for yourself...call it "finding yourself", "re-inventing yourself" or whatever you want. It also sounds like any relationship you get into at this stage of the game is simply going to be a rebound relationship, or worse yet will turn into a co-dependancy type thing where you end up shacking up with someone just because you don't want to be alone. You certainly don't want that.. |
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Posted: 7/26/2014 5:26:24 AM EDT
[#12]
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Sounds like you really just need to take some time for yourself...call it "finding yourself", "re-inventing yourself" or whatever you want. It also sounds like any relationship you get into at this stage of the game is simply going to be a rebound relationship, or worse yet will turn into a co-dependancy type thing where you end up shacking up with someone just because you don't want to be alone. You certainly don't want that.. Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
***OPERATION ACQUIRE CURRENCY*** Has been initiated. Found a couple of old trucks to wrench on, but need to wait until next spring. Trying to find things to occupy my time and make me happy. Time will tell how well this will work out for me. I move back into my house next week, and that is going to be my first real test of how strong I really am. Nervous. Still haven't really talked to any girls. Not sure if I am ready for that yet. Sounds like you really just need to take some time for yourself...call it "finding yourself", "re-inventing yourself" or whatever you want. It also sounds like any relationship you get into at this stage of the game is simply going to be a rebound relationship, or worse yet will turn into a co-dependancy type thing where you end up shacking up with someone just because you don't want to be alone. You certainly don't want that.. I just want monies.
And truth be told, I am lonely. I don't really want a relationship at this point. I am a little worried about the same thing, I really don't want another wife/mom type of thing in my life, I just want to figure out what makes me tick again. |
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Posted: 7/26/2014 5:27:34 AM EDT
[#13]
This
You cant hide in your house forever, better to fuck up with a bar girl than when you meet your next Princess. Free Quote HistoryQuoted:
Ya gotta slay some dragons to get to the princess dude.  Quote HistoryQuoted:
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Look at it this way. I was in the same boat as you when I was 32. I had been married for 12 years and got dumped. If that hadn't happened I wouldn't have met my current wife who is a much better person than my ex ever was. I met my current wife in Walmart. She was working there at the time. Since then she has become a nurse. Sometimes things happen for a reason. I am just trying to take it one day at a time, not really interested in women at the moment. My friends however are failing to grasp that concept, and keep on trying to hook me up with bar skanks. Ya gotta slay some dragons to get to the princess dude. |
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Posted: 7/26/2014 5:27:40 AM EDT
[#14]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
I just want monies. Quote HistoryQuoted:
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Quoted:
***OPERATION ACQUIRE CURRENCY*** Has been initiated. Found a couple of old trucks to wrench on, but need to wait until next spring. Trying to find things to occupy my time and make me happy. Time will tell how well this will work out for me. I move back into my house next week, and that is going to be my first real test of how strong I really am. Nervous. Still haven't really talked to any girls. Not sure if I am ready for that yet. Sounds like you really just need to take some time for yourself...call it "finding yourself", "re-inventing yourself" or whatever you want. It also sounds like any relationship you get into at this stage of the game is simply going to be a rebound relationship, or worse yet will turn into a co-dependancy type thing where you end up shacking up with someone just because you don't want to be alone. You certainly don't want that.. I just want monies. How is wrenching on old trucks going to get you that? I've obviously been doing it wrong
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Posted: 7/26/2014 5:32:07 AM EDT
[#15]
I was in the exact same boat as you back in 07', separated/ to be divorced at 34.
Good luck and make the best of it. It's not that bad. Posted Via AR15.Com Mobile |
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Posted: 7/26/2014 5:33:36 AM EDT
[#16]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
I just want monies.
And truth be told, I am lonely. I don't really want a relationship at this point. I am a little worried about the same thing, I really don't want another wife/mom type of thing in my life, I just want to figure out what makes me tick again. Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
***OPERATION ACQUIRE CURRENCY*** Has been initiated. Found a couple of old trucks to wrench on, but need to wait until next spring. Trying to find things to occupy my time and make me happy. Time will tell how well this will work out for me. I move back into my house next week, and that is going to be my first real test of how strong I really am. Nervous. Still haven't really talked to any girls. Not sure if I am ready for that yet. Sounds like you really just need to take some time for yourself...call it "finding yourself", "re-inventing yourself" or whatever you want. It also sounds like any relationship you get into at this stage of the game is simply going to be a rebound relationship, or worse yet will turn into a co-dependancy type thing where you end up shacking up with someone just because you don't want to be alone. You certainly don't want that.. I just want monies.
And truth be told, I am lonely. I don't really want a relationship at this point. I am a little worried about the same thing, I really don't want another wife/mom type of thing in my life, I just want to figure out what makes me tick again. Get a dog maybe ? Seriously... It sounds ridiculous, but dating just because you're lonely is just opening yourself up to a co-dependant relationship. You should date someone because you share mutual interests and enjoy spending time with them and have similar interests with them. |
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Posted: 7/26/2014 5:37:53 AM EDT
[#17]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Get a dog maybe ? Seriously... It sounds ridiculous, but dating just because you're lonely is just opening yourself up to a co-dependant relationship. You should date someone because you share mutual interests and enjoy spending time with them and have with them. I would like to get a dog, but my schedule is so screwed up that I would not be able to take care of one. 
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Posted: 7/26/2014 5:38:20 AM EDT
[#18]
Same boat here, although been separated for a year. Divorce is final in September. I finally got off my ass in June of this year, and started doing stuff outside of the house. Met a girl down the street, been banging her for the past month, in every way possible. It's been fun, but somewhat unsatisfying.
Meeting girls, and chatting them up isn't an issue for me, but being single after 16 years just seems so weird. I'm 38 btw. I miss the good times with my wife, but just realize that reality is what it is. We just couldn't get along. So I think about that all the time. I guess it's all about baby steps. |
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Posted: 7/26/2014 5:39:50 AM EDT
[#19]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Same boat here, although been separated for a year. Divorce is final in September. I finally got off my ass in June of this year, and started doing stuff outside of the house. Met a girl down the street, been banging her for the past month, in every way possible. It's been fun, but somewhat unsatisfying. Meeting girls, and chatting them up isn't an issue for me, but being single after 16 years just seems so weird. I'm 38 btw. I miss the good times with my wife, but just realize that reality is what it is. We just couldn't get along. So I think about that all the time. I guess it's all about baby steps. How long did it take you to get to the point to start dating again? When you did start, did you feel guilty at all? |
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Posted: 7/26/2014 5:42:47 AM EDT
[#20]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
I would like to get a dog, but my schedule is so screwed up that I would not be able to take care of one. Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
Get a dog maybe ? Seriously... It sounds ridiculous, but dating just because you're lonely is just opening yourself up to a co-dependant relationship. You should date someone because you share mutual interests and enjoy spending time with them and have with them. I would like to get a dog, but my schedule is so screwed up that I would not be able to take care of one. fair enough... also, take a look at what your interests are..these days there are many dating websites that cater to specific interests...(i.e. people who love fitness, hiking, etc). as an FYI...my brother got divorced after 20 some years of marriage. He is the type of person that needs to be around other people and needs someone in his life...a year after his divorce he moved in with a chick and is now calling me on almost a daily basis with the same complaints about this new girlfriend that he had about his wife... |
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Posted: 7/26/2014 5:43:23 AM EDT
[#21]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
How long did it take you to get to the point to start dating again? When you did start, did you feel guilty at all? Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
Same boat here, although been separated for a year. Divorce is final in September. I finally got off my ass in June of this year, and started doing stuff outside of the house. Met a girl down the street, been banging her for the past month, in every way possible. It's been fun, but somewhat unsatisfying. Meeting girls, and chatting them up isn't an issue for me, but being single after 16 years just seems so weird. I'm 38 btw. I miss the good times with my wife, but just realize that reality is what it is. We just couldn't get along. So I think about that all the time. I guess it's all about baby steps. How long did it take you to get to the point to start dating again? When you did start, did you feel guilty at all? It took almost a year, and yes I still feel guilty. Not that it's a constant feeling of guilt, but honestly, I think I feel guilty, and somewhat sad about it because it really feels like it makes the end of my marriage seem all the more real. |
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Posted: 7/26/2014 5:49:40 AM EDT
[#22]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
It took almost a year, and yes I still feel guilty. Not that it's a constant feeling of guilt, but honestly, I think I feel guilty, and somewhat sad about it because it really feels like it makes the end of my marriage seem all the more real. Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
Same boat here, although been separated for a year. Divorce is final in September. I finally got off my ass in June of this year, and started doing stuff outside of the house. Met a girl down the street, been banging her for the past month, in every way possible. It's been fun, but somewhat unsatisfying. Meeting girls, and chatting them up isn't an issue for me, but being single after 16 years just seems so weird. I'm 38 btw. I miss the good times with my wife, but just realize that reality is what it is. We just couldn't get along. So I think about that all the time. I guess it's all about baby steps. How long did it take you to get to the point to start dating again? When you did start, did you feel guilty at all? It took almost a year, and yes I still feel guilty. Not that it's a constant feeling of guilt, but honestly, I think I feel guilty, and somewhat sad about it because it really feels like it makes the end of my marriage seem all the more real. I guess that is the fear that I have of moving back into my house. It just makes it real, and final. Up to this point I have been going through the motions of it, and it just seems distant to me for some odd reason. The closer I get to move in the more anxiety I have. I have been asking myself, "now what?" lately, and I have no answers. Up to this point, the past 12 years have been lived for "us." Everything I did was for our future, and now that is not there, and it sort of freaks me out. |
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Posted: 7/26/2014 6:00:29 AM EDT
[#23]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
I guess that is the fear that I have of moving back into my house. It just makes it real, and final. Up to this point I have been going through the motions of it, and it just seems distant to me for some odd reason. The closer I get to move in the more anxiety I have. I have been asking myself, "now what?" lately, and I have no answers. Up to this point, the past 12 years have been lived for "us." Everything I did was for our future, and now that is not there, and it sort of freaks me out. Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
Same boat here, although been separated for a year. Divorce is final in September. I finally got off my ass in June of this year, and started doing stuff outside of the house. Met a girl down the street, been banging her for the past month, in every way possible. It's been fun, but somewhat unsatisfying. Meeting girls, and chatting them up isn't an issue for me, but being single after 16 years just seems so weird. I'm 38 btw. I miss the good times with my wife, but just realize that reality is what it is. We just couldn't get along. So I think about that all the time. I guess it's all about baby steps. How long did it take you to get to the point to start dating again? When you did start, did you feel guilty at all? It took almost a year, and yes I still feel guilty. Not that it's a constant feeling of guilt, but honestly, I think I feel guilty, and somewhat sad about it because it really feels like it makes the end of my marriage seem all the more real. I guess that is the fear that I have of moving back into my house. It just makes it real, and final. Up to this point I have been going through the motions of it, and it just seems distant to me for some odd reason. The closer I get to move in the more anxiety I have. I have been asking myself, "now what?" lately, and I have no answers. Up to this point, the past 12 years have been lived for "us." Everything I did was for our future, and now that is not there, and it sort of freaks me out. I completely get that. I did everything for my wife, everything. Our problem was that after my son was born three years ago, I became nothing to my wife. Almost like an afterthought. Breaks my heart every time I think about it. I never moved out of the house though, she moved into another small house that we owned, with my son. It has been really lonely up until the last few months. It still is actually. I really don't have any answers, I'm still going through this. I love my son son so much, I would never take it back, but when he was born, was the point everything went downhill. |
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Posted: 7/26/2014 6:06:12 AM EDT
[#24]
One more thing I'll add, and it probably won't be helpful, but at times I start to resent the girl I've been hooking up with. Not sure exactly why I feel that way, but I think it has something to do with the realization of the end of my marriage. It's not her fault, just shit that goes through my head.
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Posted: 7/26/2014 6:10:22 AM EDT
[#25]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
One more thing I'll add, and it probably won't be helpful, but at times I start to resent the girl I've been hooking up with. Not sure exactly why I feel that way, but I think it has something to do with the realization of the end of my marriage. It's not her fault, just shit that goes through my head. I am not to the point of hooking up with anybody yet, I am having a hard enough time trying to figure myself out, let alone another person. This is a pretty confusing point in my life. Thankfully for us, no children were involved...it still doesn't make it any easier, but at least I don't have to worry about visitations, child support or the like. |
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Posted: 7/26/2014 6:16:54 AM EDT
[#26]
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I am not to the point of hooking up with anybody yet, I am having a hard enough time trying to figure myself out, let alone another person. This is a pretty confusing point in my life. Thankfully for us, no children were involved...it still doesn't make it any easier, but at least I don't have to worry about visitations, child support or the like. Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
One more thing I'll add, and it probably won't be helpful, but at times I start to resent the girl I've been hooking up with. Not sure exactly why I feel that way, but I think it has something to do with the realization of the end of my marriage. It's not her fault, just shit that goes through my head. I am not to the point of hooking up with anybody yet, I am having a hard enough time trying to figure myself out, let alone another person. This is a pretty confusing point in my life. Thankfully for us, no children were involved...it still doesn't make it any easier, but at least I don't have to worry about visitations, child support or the like. Good idea. If I could take it back, I probably wouldn't have done it. No reason to rush into anything. Get yourself right, and then you can move on. This is what I should have done. Now, I will have to hurt someone's feelings to move on, because I don't want a long term relationship. All it's doing is adding more bullshit in my life. Listen to your inner self. You sound like a smart guy. Like I said earlier, baby steps. |
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Posted: 7/26/2014 6:25:11 AM EDT
[#27]
First rule of being single:
Do what you want. |
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Posted: 7/26/2014 6:50:37 AM EDT
[#28]
Just give it time.
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Posted: 7/26/2014 7:25:02 AM EDT
[#29]
Sometimes you have to do things for your own good that you don't really feel like doing. This is one of those times. Make up your mind that you''re going to get out there and try new things and be positive. Are there activities or sports you've enjoyed in the past? Is there something you've thought you might like to do but haven't done yet? You've got to put yourself out there if you want a woman. Get out of your house and go wherever people gather. The internet can be your friend if you want to meet a good woman. Sure, there are lots of crazy women out there but there are good women too.
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Posted: 7/26/2014 7:29:33 AM EDT
[#30]
I grew up playing tennis, going to tournaments, high school team, etc.
Once I got to college I dropped out. After my first marriage broke up, I joined a local tennis club and got back into it to have something to do. Met my current wife there. Didn't join the club strictly to meet women, it just happened. Just live your life, do things you enjoy. If you leave the house everyday looking to meet someone, that is setting yourself up for disappointment.
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Posted: 7/26/2014 9:07:26 AM EDT
[#31]
You will feel loneliness for a long time....
When coming home you will be looking to her car in the driveway...it wont be there. The house will be dark & lifeless when you walk in. You will be alone. Friends seem to always have something else to do... After a year or two you will adjust. You will learn to embrace the solitude. Loneliness will be known as freedom. You will learn that you will never have to compromise again. And that is a wonderful thing. |
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Posted: 7/26/2014 10:53:25 AM EDT
[#32]
My Wifey split because she hated NC, and thought I would follow ( both of us were "from" CT).
She took every kitchen spoon and fork with her, so I had to go to a department store to replace I was a certified Master Automobile Technician She was a Registered Nurse We both had skills that fit in ANYWHERE on the PLANET She wanted New England I wanted NYC, and would see New Hampshire and MA on vacation Sex was NEVER a problem; we both knew EVERY button to push She's happy, I'm happy OP, MAN UP! |
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Posted: 7/26/2014 11:01:29 AM EDT
[#33]
35???? good lord above........... to be in your shoes....
Damn there are so many girls hiding in all the wrong places. I could spend years finding pretty young ladies in places other than bars. Go get yourself a nice hotrod and go to car shows, go join a local car club and get your butt out there hunting tail! Dress ujp in a nice suit & tie and get lost around wall street to see all the trader chicks. 
I got one daughter at some adjacent to hell FL airbase with no decent men around. Good grief at Ft lost in the woods there are so many chicky snacks your tummy would burst. Oh and the FL beaches for college coed's you would need to check with your cardiologist to go swimming! Stop your complaining I might have to go on a road trip.
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Posted: 7/26/2014 11:51:17 AM EDT
[#34]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
So far the best advise out of this thread has been,  , focus on myself and become happy, nail as much strange as possible, and re-do my house as I see fit.
I'll be interested in what the ladies of arfcom have to say during the day shift. You sound depressed or at least confused. I'd go see a shrink. I'm 35, and I was married 10 years and that's what I did and it helped. The things I did that didn't help include: dating while I was still reeling, drinking, and not giving myself enough time to settle in to being by myself. When I finally wised up, the things that helped were: shrinks, making platonic friends, a puppy, a garden, home improvement projects, school, and making big batches of food and eating off the left overs for a while. I think the last thing you should do is hit the dating scene prematurely. It's a great way to cover up your issues so you don't have to resolve them while creating new issues. Just live an awesome life, resolve your issues, make friends, lift stuff till you're big and pretty. |
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Posted: 7/26/2014 11:52:17 AM EDT
[#35]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
That is truth. Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
And if you ever need a reminder that there are some good women out there, just look at a few on here. That is truth. We're utterly full of shit. |
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Posted: 7/26/2014 5:06:25 PM EDT
[#36]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
You sound depressed or at least confused. I'd go see a shrink. I'm 35, and I was married 10 years and that's what I did and it helped. The things I did that didn't help include: dating while I was still reeling, drinking, and not giving myself enough time to settle in to being by myself. When I finally wised up, the things that helped were: shrinks, making platonic friends, a puppy, a garden, home improvement projects, school, and making big batches of food and eating off the left overs for a while. I think the last thing you should do is hit the dating scene prematurely. It's a great way to cover up your issues so you don't have to resolve them while creating new issues. Just live an awesome life, resolve your issues, make friends, lift stuff till you're big and pretty. Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
So far the best advise out of this thread has been, , focus on myself and become happy, nail as much strange as possible, and re-do my house as I see fit.
I'll be interested in what the ladies of arfcom have to say during the day shift. You sound depressed or at least confused. I'd go see a shrink. I'm 35, and I was married 10 years and that's what I did and it helped. The things I did that didn't help include: dating while I was still reeling, drinking, and not giving myself enough time to settle in to being by myself. When I finally wised up, the things that helped were: shrinks, making platonic friends, a puppy, a garden, home improvement projects, school, and making big batches of food and eating off the left overs for a while. I think the last thing you should do is hit the dating scene prematurely. It's a great way to cover up your issues so you don't have to resolve them while creating new issues. Just live an awesome life, resolve your issues, make friends, lift stuff till you're big and pretty. I am both depressed and confused... I am not really interested in dating at this point in my life (I think?). Not sure what I am suppose to do with my life now, I am sort of in a weird place. I have had people tell me that I need to go talk to somebody as I have not been my usual self lately, I am just not sure if I really want to make that leap yet. This transition between married life and single life is a lot harder than it sounds. |
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Posted: 7/26/2014 5:12:49 PM EDT
[#37]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Trying man, I have found that my smile is a lie. Though a necessary one. Fake it till you make it, or something like that. Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
Give it time. You'll be the envy of many of us soon.  Keep your head up OP.Trying man, I have found that my smile is a lie. Though a necessary one. Fake it till you make it, or something like that. Being single is lovely. You don't have to answer to anyone, you can keep your residence how you wish (messy, clean, cluttered, etc.), you can eat what you want when you want. No arguing over $$$. If there's enough in the bank account after paying bills to buy ammo or more guns, fo! Fall asleep with the lights on if you want. Your sleeping schedule is your own.
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Posted: 7/26/2014 5:18:43 PM EDT
[#38]
Congrats on the divorce being finalized
You are in a great spot now, you just haven't realized it yet. As soon as you realize that is ok to have fun again, you will. Now it might seem like it is hard to meet women but if you put yourself out there, they will actually seek you out. When I got divorced I was 35 and was shocked at how easy it was to meet women. I thought it was going to be hard, I was out of practice, etc. Of course there had been some developments in technology since I was previously single, texting, on-line chat, myspace (I was 35 before there was facebook). With plenty of fish, tinder, snapchat and so on... put in a tiny bit of effort, it will be like shooting fish in a barrel. Your problem will change from I haven't been on a date to the women are stalking me. |
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Posted: 7/26/2014 5:20:48 PM EDT
[#39]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
We're utterly full of shit. Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
And if you ever need a reminder that there are some good women out there, just look at a few on here. That is truth. We're utterly full of shit. Listen to the gorilla. Posted Via AR15.Com Mobile |
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Posted: 7/26/2014 5:36:18 PM EDT
[#40]
Dude, you are a perfect Bender. You play the part well, you need a bit of time to repair the brain etc.
Still with the same job? Make that a must, women are second. You are FIRST. What part of Nebraska are you in? I make trips up there at least once a year, mostly to the north east corner. |
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Posted: 7/26/2014 5:46:08 PM EDT
[#41]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Dude, you are a perfect Bender. You play the part well, you need a bit of time to repair the brain etc. Still with the same job? Make that a must, women are second. You are FIRST. What part of Nebraska are you in? I make trips up there at least once a year, mostly to the north east corner. Omaha area. Still with same job, sort of...you always have a place here man, you have always been cool to me even when most were not. |
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Posted: 7/26/2014 6:14:25 PM EDT
[#42]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Omaha area. Still with same job, sort of...you always have a place here man, you have always been cool to me even when most were not. Quote HistoryQuoted: Quoted: Dude, you are a perfect Bender. You play the part well, you need a bit of time to repair the brain etc. Still with the same job? Make that a must, women are second. You are FIRST. What part of Nebraska are you in? I make trips up there at least once a year, mostly to the north east corner. Omaha area. Still with same job, sort of...you always have a place here man, you have always been cool to me even when most were not. |
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Posted: 7/26/2014 6:20:05 PM EDT
[#43]
Quoted:
No joke. Marriage of 12 years went south, and now I find my self divorced. Being 35 and single kind of sucks. Every woman my age either has kids, is married, or a train wreck. To old to be hanging out in bars, and truth be told, bar skanks are not really my cup of tea. So here I am, trust in women shot, I realized last week that I have not bought clothes for myself in 12 years, now what the hell do I do? I guess it is currency, motorcycles, hot rods, and tattoos for this guy. I think I see your problem. You said woman your age have kids. I'm assuming with that statement you don't have any, even after 12 years of marriage. Maybe you need to check out the local high schools for chicks on your level of maturity? Am I wrong? Just being straight up here, not trying to make things worse. |
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Posted: 7/26/2014 6:33:44 PM EDT
[#44]
Quote HistoryQuoted: I think I see your problem. You said woman your age have kids. I'm assuming with that statement you don't have any, even after 12 years of marriage. Maybe you need to check out the local high schools for chicks on your level of maturity? Am I wrong? Just being straight up here, not trying to make things worse. Quote HistoryQuoted: Quoted: No joke. Marriage of 12 years went south, and now I find my self divorced. Being 35 and single kind of sucks. Every woman my age either has kids, is married, or a train wreck. To old to be hanging out in bars, and truth be told, bar skanks are not really my cup of tea. So here I am, trust in women shot, I realized last week that I have not bought clothes for myself in 12 years, now what the hell do I do? I guess it is currency, motorcycles, hot rods, and tattoos for this guy. I think I see your problem. You said woman your age have kids. I'm assuming with that statement you don't have any, even after 12 years of marriage. Maybe you need to check out the local high schools for chicks on your level of maturity? Am I wrong? Just being straight up here, not trying to make things worse. I don't have any biological children of my own, are you going to say I need to troll underage sites? Go fuck off. For the record, I have FOUR step sons that treat me as their father. Their biological father died in 2001. Kiss my ass. |
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Posted: 7/26/2014 6:38:47 PM EDT
[#45]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Dick post, certainly. I don't have any biological children of my own, are you going to say I need to troll underage sites? Go fuck off. For the record, I have FOUR step sons that treat me as their father. Their biological father died in 2001. Kiss my ass. Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
No joke. Marriage of 12 years went south, and now I find my self divorced. Being 35 and single kind of sucks. Every woman my age either has kids, is married, or a train wreck. To old to be hanging out in bars, and truth be told, bar skanks are not really my cup of tea. So here I am, trust in women shot, I realized last week that I have not bought clothes for myself in 12 years, now what the hell do I do? I guess it is currency, motorcycles, hot rods, and tattoos for this guy. I think I see your problem. You said woman your age have kids. I'm assuming with that statement you don't have any, even after 12 years of marriage. Maybe you need to check out the local high schools for chicks on your level of maturity? Am I wrong? Just being straight up here, not trying to make things worse. I don't have any biological children of my own, are you going to say I need to troll underage sites? Go fuck off. For the record, I have FOUR step sons that treat me as their father. Their biological father died in 2001. Kiss my ass. Butthurt much? You sure threw yourself into something that sure as shit didn't have anything to do with you since you have FOUR kids dipshit. On that same note OP, I came back to say that did not come out nearly as I had intended. Kids, no kids, it doesn't matter and I can see your point if you don't have any. It's not exactly the best situation to jump into if someone else had children, especially if you are just out of a long relationship/marriage. There's already been great advice here with making that house your own. My only advice would be not to do anything serious with anyone until the things you're dealing with are a lot better. I'd try my hardest to stay busy if I were you. |
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Posted: 7/26/2014 6:41:09 PM EDT
[#46]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
I think I see your problem. You said woman your age have kids. I'm assuming with that statement you don't have any, even after 12 years of marriage. Maybe you need to check out the local high schools for chicks on your level of maturity? Am I wrong? Just being straight up here, not trying to make things worse. Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
No joke. Marriage of 12 years went south, and now I find my self divorced. Being 35 and single kind of sucks. Every woman my age either has kids, is married, or a train wreck. To old to be hanging out in bars, and truth be told, bar skanks are not really my cup of tea. So here I am, trust in women shot, I realized last week that I have not bought clothes for myself in 12 years, now what the hell do I do? I guess it is currency, motorcycles, hot rods, and tattoos for this guy. I think I see your problem. You said woman your age have kids. I'm assuming with that statement you don't have any, even after 12 years of marriage. Maybe you need to check out the local high schools for chicks on your level of maturity? Am I wrong? Just being straight up here, not trying to make things worse. Total douche post. Just being straight up here.... |
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Posted: 7/26/2014 6:41:45 PM EDT
[#47]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Gym. This. Soon you will be balls deep in women 10 years younger and stupid happy
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Posted: 7/26/2014 6:43:08 PM EDT
[#48]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Butthurt much? You sure threw yourself into something that sure as shit didn't have anything to do with you since you have FOUR kids dipshit. On that same note OP, I came back to say that did not come out nearly as I had intended. Kids, no kids, it doesn't matter and I can see your point if you don't have any. It's not exactly the best situation to jump into if someone else had children, especially if you are just out of a long relationship/marriage. There's already been great advice here with making that house your own. My only advice would be not to do anything serious with anyone until the things you're dealing with are a lot better. I'd try my hardest to stay busy if I were you. Quote HistoryQuoted: Quoted: Quoted: Quoted: No joke. Marriage of 12 years went south, and now I find my self divorced. Being 35 and single kind of sucks. Every woman my age either has kids, is married, or a train wreck. To old to be hanging out in bars, and truth be told, bar skanks are not really my cup of tea. So here I am, trust in women shot, I realized last week that I have not bought clothes for myself in 12 years, now what the hell do I do? I guess it is currency, motorcycles, hot rods, and tattoos for this guy. I think I see your problem. You said woman your age have kids. I'm assuming with that statement you don't have any, even after 12 years of marriage. Maybe you need to check out the local high schools for chicks on your level of maturity? Am I wrong? Just being straight up here, not trying to make things worse. I don't have any biological children of my own, are you going to say I need to troll underage sites? Go fuck off. For the record, I have FOUR step sons that treat me as their father. Their biological father died in 2001. Kiss my ass. Butthurt much? You sure threw yourself into something that sure as shit didn't have anything to do with you since you have FOUR kids dipshit. On that same note OP, I came back to say that did not come out nearly as I had intended. Kids, no kids, it doesn't matter and I can see your point if you don't have any. It's not exactly the best situation to jump into if someone else had children, especially if you are just out of a long relationship/marriage. There's already been great advice here with making that house your own. My only advice would be not to do anything serious with anyone until the things you're dealing with are a lot better. I'd try my hardest to stay busy if I were you. |
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Posted: 7/26/2014 6:43:30 PM EDT
[#49]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Total douche post. Just being straight up here.... Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
No joke. Marriage of 12 years went south, and now I find my self divorced. Being 35 and single kind of sucks. Every woman my age either has kids, is married, or a train wreck. To old to be hanging out in bars, and truth be told, bar skanks are not really my cup of tea. So here I am, trust in women shot, I realized last week that I have not bought clothes for myself in 12 years, now what the hell do I do? I guess it is currency, motorcycles, hot rods, and tattoos for this guy. I think I see your problem. You said woman your age have kids. I'm assuming with that statement you don't have any, even after 12 years of marriage. Maybe you need to check out the local high schools for chicks on your level of maturity? Am I wrong? Just being straight up here, not trying to make things worse. Total douche post. Just being straight up here.... You're a douche for not reading everything either. I came back and posted more and admitted that wasn't exactly the way I wanted/meant it. |
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Posted: 7/26/2014 7:10:39 PM EDT
[#50]
IF you aren't looking for meaningless sex with 20 somethings don't "go out". Save that couple of hundred bucks a weekend for your new NFA toys.
Don't make any large purchases just yet. In 6 months you may be amazed at what your funds look like when you don't have someone else helping you spend. Buy your dream car. I don't mean some trendy bullshit. I mean buy the one you wanted as a kid. A vette, a Chevelle, fuckin Ranchero, whatever. Then lean to work on it, and do that. Go hit the upscale bars near business centers at happy hour. That's where all the motivated and single career types hang out after work. Find a bar/ restaurant that host wine tastings. Go there, learn some fancy shit. Also, hotel bars have a pretty high % of leading to a chance encounter with a woman who travels for work and is pressed for time when it comes to forming meaningful relationships. If that's your thing. As a 30 something single guy, you are supposed to be a little mysterious and set in your ways. Make a habit of doing whatever the fuck you want. |
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