DAMN IT! I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!!!! - Page 2

[ARCHIVED THREAD] - DAMN IT! I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!!!! (Page 2 of 2)

Posted: 6/14/2001 7:05:37 PM EDT

[#1]

The trip to Texas sounds good! Go to a country western bar and pick out the best of the ugly ones early in the evening that way you avoid the rush at closing time! Gives you all night to warm up to her and keep her from getting shit faced. You'll hate the corpse senario or then again maybe you wouldn't! Give it a try big guy! Whats the worst shes going to say? NO???? Then move on.. Works for me.[sex]

Posted: 6/14/2001 7:06:54 PM EDT

[#2]

Save up your curly fries money and buy some.

Posted: 6/14/2001 7:57:05 PM EDT

[#3]

Imbrog - You remind me of the guy thats been in the bush for quite a while, and on his way out he sees momma san in the rice paddy, and she smiles at him with her beatlenut teeth showing. Guy goes crazy wanting it NOW.

Posted: 6/14/2001 8:10:03 PM EDT

[#4]

I know what you mean Imbro. I'm in the same situation. Hell if I have a clue how to get out of it. I just say screw it and give up. Its hard, but no sense stressing yourself out over something that may or may not come.

Posted: 6/15/2001 12:38:09 AM EDT

[#5]

Beauty is merely a light switch away...

Posted: 6/15/2001 6:46:13 AM EDT

[#6]

Just go down to the local grocery, buy a potato, and drop it in your shorts. Don't forget to drop in the front and not the back.

Posted: 6/15/2001 6:48:36 AM EDT

[#7]

I think your rubbing off on me, cause I am having the same problems. No job, no woman, no money, my guns are getting ready to be sold for cash.

Posted: 6/15/2001 6:57:30 AM EDT

[#8]

One word: rent-a-porno-and-buy-some-lotion-and-wack-the-pole.

Posted: 6/15/2001 7:06:05 AM EDT

[#9]

Turn Gay!! Your chances improve and if you meet a guy the same size your wardrobe doubles! After all, if the girls ain't working it may be a sign from GOD.

sgtar15

PS And if that don't work, try animals[;)]

Posted: 6/15/2001 9:29:31 AM EDT

[#10]

Here's the perfect date. She's always ready and she'll even hold your beer for you.

[url]http://cgi.ebay.com/aw-cgi/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=1605379895[/url]

Posted: 6/15/2001 9:47:37 AM EDT

[#11]

Imbroglio

Log off, get out of your house, and start looking for a woman.

How many hours are you logged into this site every week? You won't find "relief" here!

You just have to convince yourself that you won't die if you get turned down a few times - once you have success, it will become easier. There is no reason you shouldn't have 4 to 8 gals anxiously awaiting you at any given time.

Take up horeback riding at a stable that gives lessons and boards (horses) - there are always plenty of single women, and there is no competition.

A cute dog (canine dog, not human female dog - those do hurt!) doesn't hurt.

Posted: 6/15/2001 12:37:19 PM EDT

[#12]

I realize that you are looking for a relationship, but as long as you have a monkey on your back, you won't find one. Women are like lions, and they can sense weakness and fear. They can smell your desperation like it was skunk spray.

Save up $100 and drive to Nevada. Go into a brothel and pick out the nastiest ugly woman in there, and unload all of your problems. Tell her everything, and then have sex with her. Because she is nasty, you will not feel too guilty about it. When you get back home, you will find that all sorts of women are hot for you. Why this works, I don't know, but it does. Just ask my old roommate.

There have been times when I was in a severe drought. When I finally got a woman, all these other women started coming on to me. I was like, "where were you six months ago when I needed some action". I bet you even hook up with the GAW.

Posted: 6/15/2001 12:47:42 PM EDT

[#13]

Two elderly gentlemen, who had been without sex for several years,decided to visit the local house of ill repute..... When they arrived, the madam took one look at them and decided she wasn't going to waste her girls on these guys, so she used blow up dolls instead. She placed them in the rooms and left them to their business. After the two were finished, they started walking home and began talking. The first old man said, "I think the girl I had was dead. She never moved, or talked or even made a noise the whole time. How was it for you?" The second old man said, "I think mine was a witch. I nibbled on her breast, she farted and flew out the window."

Posted: 6/15/2001 1:17:49 PM EDT

[#14]

[img]www.celebscentral.dk/images/celebrities/jenniferconnelly/61.jpg[/img]

Posted: 6/15/2001 1:41:13 PM EDT

[#15]

Imbrog|io is that the GAW?

Posted: 6/15/2001 1:44:57 PM EDT

[#16]

ya

Posted: 6/15/2001 1:47:22 PM EDT

[#17]

Now I understand.

Posted: 6/15/2001 2:32:42 PM EDT

[#18]

hello!! now that could hurt, if you aint had any.

Posted: 6/15/2001 2:34:34 PM EDT

[#19]

Hey Imbrog|io. What does GAW stand for?

(and isn't that some famous chick in the pic?)

Posted: 6/15/2001 2:41:54 PM EDT

[#20]

ummm, dude thats my sister,

[img]http://www.jenniferconnelly.net/images/jennifer101.jpg[/img]

Posted: 6/15/2001 2:48:20 PM EDT

[#21]

Quoted:
ummm, dude thats my sister,

View Quote

Well. Get her over to Imbrog|io's place ASAP!

NOW !

Posted: 6/15/2001 2:53:03 PM EDT

[#22]

[img]http://www.mcuzi.com/sinistralrifleman/jojogaw.jpg[/img]

Posted: 6/15/2001 3:37:37 PM EDT

[#23]

Quoted:
Hey Imbrog|io. What does GAW stand for?

(and isn't that some famous chick in the pic?)

View Quote

I think GAW stands for the Girl At Work.

I also think that chick played Punky Brewster or something. Or maybe she was Blossom, hard to tell without the hat.

Posted: 6/15/2001 3:42:13 PM EDT

[#24]

Hey, I might be able to fix you up with an Amish girl. How bout that??? [thinking]
- bricklayer

Posted: 6/15/2001 4:27:44 PM EDT

[#25]

The pic Imbro posted looks like a young Jennifer Connelly. She is hot.

Imbro, try this link. You might get lucky.

[url]www.dirtybids.com/item.php?SESSION_ID=c152e4178c1eb1036f0451743876e24a&id=2523962892352846[/url]

Posted: 6/15/2001 4:59:33 PM EDT

[#26]

Far out! Imbrog|io is so desperate, he's started stalking celebrities. Maybe when they do the America's Most Wanted Special on him they'll interview some of us.

Posted: 6/15/2001 6:39:25 PM EDT

[#27]

Imbroglio, you are so full of shit! But if you've really got a thing for Jennifer Connelly I can feel your pain. I had a HUGE crush on her when I was a kid.

[img]http://www.clic.net/~birdy/jc/pictures/1/connelly-03.jpg[/img]

[b]GET OFF YOUR ASS AND FIND A WOMAN IN YOUR LEAGUE[/b] Go down to the library and find the hottest/shyest little bookworm you see and [b]talk[/b] to her. That is all it will take. Guaranteed.

Posted: 6/16/2001 5:02:28 AM EDT

[#28]

Do what my ugly self did. Get a round trip ticket to the Philippines, and marry the first chick you see outside the airport. Yes, it is that easy. Nine years of luvin' and going strong.

Posted: 6/16/2001 5:51:40 AM EDT

[#29]

www.adultfriendfinder.com

Posted: 6/17/2001 6:02:42 PM EDT

[#30]

Imbroglio,unless you look like Quasimoto, your are a totally full of shit loser. Listen closely my friend. The secret to getting girls is not being the most buffed out steroid "Arnold" look alike in the bar...it's just pretending that she his interesting and that you are fascinated by everything she says.
Let her ramble on about Stefano on "Days of Our Lives" or "As the World Turns" or shit like that and make the appropriate grunts, or "wows"...she will think you are cool and before you know it, especially after you ply her with a couple of more drinks, you are in bed with her doing what you want to be doing. Now how hard is that? IMHO, you are shitting us all and probably are a pimp with all the poontang you can handle.

Posted: 6/17/2001 10:44:54 PM EDT

[#31]

Just go and buy some p*ssy somewhere. It is that easy. Pay to play and move on down the road. Women can really tell when you are desperate and relationships tend to just happen out of the blue anyways.

Posted: 6/18/2001 3:09:32 AM EDT

[#32]

In San Diego, go to Kiaa Spa which is about one block south of balboa, on convoy street.

In Orange County, go to Birch Street near John Wayne Airport. Look for blue neon leaking out from behind the shades in the windows. There must be at least six bj parlors in that area. Bring at least $60 and as much tip money as you feel like blowing.

Remember the secret words. When she asked you if you want hard masageee or soft masagee, tell her "hard masagee". Sometimes they will ask this instead "You want Oil?". Your answer should be "YES, please!"

Quality varies considerably. Try 'em all!

Posted: 6/18/2001 4:54:15 AM EDT

[#33]

Originally Posted By SSgt D:

Remember the secret words. When she asked you if you want hard masageee or soft masagee, tell her "hard masagee

View Quote

Can you start with the "Soft Massage" and work up to the "Hard Massage" ? Or should you just bring Viagra and go straight for the "Hard Massage" ?

Hey Imbrog|io. What state do you live in and how old are you?
My wife's got a ton of school friends around the country who are pretty conservative. (she went to Bob Jones University)

I KNOW that we can find someone for you. Someone who appreciates your wit and intelligence and conservative views.

I am serious ! (unless you are kidding about all of this)

[ARCHIVED THREAD] - DAMN IT! I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!!!! (Page 2 of 2)

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