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Posted: 9/18/2014 11:54:24 PM EDT
[#1]
My 14 year old son loves playing football and I would let him choose what to do.
I would let him know what the consequences may be and leave it up to him. |
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Posted: 9/18/2014 11:55:49 PM EDT
[#2]
First, there would be one hell of a 'come to Jesus' meeting about respect for his elders. Followed up by showing him that actions have cosiquenses, and his little tantrum cost him any chance of playing the rest of the year.
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Posted: 9/18/2014 11:56:11 PM EDT
[#3]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
My 14 year old son loves playing football and I would let him choose what to do. I would let him know what the consequences may be and leave it up to him. Are you ignoring the, "don't mind my Dad, I make the rules in this household" email he sent his coaches, or did you skip that part of the OP? |
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Posted: 9/18/2014 11:58:19 PM EDT
[#4]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
If is thumb was not broken he would be starting a game in which any of his other bones could end up broken, so there's that. Are seriously upset that your 19 year old son who is responsible enough to take himself to the doctors, to make decisions regarding the care he receives is assertive enough to challenge you over what he wants for himself? You ought to be proud of him and help him make the best of his already challenged opportunity. My two cents. [url]http://www.ar15.com/images/smilies/smiley_thinking.gif[/img < Has a 20 year old son, would be and am proud of him. 16, but your point stands. |
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Posted: 9/18/2014 11:59:05 PM EDT
[#5]
I'd let him play, I'd also let him know that you are doing it to help him, not because he said so. I'd also have a punishment ready that is at the very least equal to missing the game.
YOU are the father and you will be respected. |
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Posted: 9/19/2014 12:01:39 AM EDT
[#6]
It's high school football. I'd say the rest of his life is more important. What if he damages his thumb further; and it ends up disqualifying him for a job he wants in the future? Dreams crushed over high school JV football.
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Posted: 9/19/2014 12:03:47 AM EDT
[#7]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
The kid is 16 and he's at that age where he thinks he can do whatever he wants, and whip his old man when the reins are tightened. He still has a few lessons to absorb. Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
If is thumb was not broken he would be starting a game in which any of his other bones could end up broken, so there's that. Are seriously upset that your 19 year old son who is responsible enough to take himself to the doctors, to make decisions regarding the care he receives is assertive enough to challenge you over what he wants for himself? You ought to be proud of him and help him make the best of his already challenged opportunity. My two cents. 
The kid is 16 and he's at that age where he thinks he can do whatever he wants, and whip his old man when the reins are tightened. He still has a few lessons to absorb. Yes, 16, I don't know what happened there. Still it's not like if he tweaks it really good he won't be out of there and if he ever thinks he can whip his old man then the OP has far bigger problems like why he doesn't have the respect of his son in the first place. Reason one maybe "dad uses internet polls to make decisions that effect my life my life". |
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Posted: 9/19/2014 12:04:59 AM EDT
[#8]
Glad I'm a band parent.
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Posted: 9/19/2014 12:05:07 AM EDT
[#9]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
risk of loss of thumb for the rest of his life vs playing in a HS football game? righttttttttttttttttttt 
All the years I played football I broke almost every finger on each hand at one time or another and never missed a game because of it, they'll heal eventually. My fingers still work fine and I haven't played football in 27 years. OP, that response from me as a kid would have gotten a closed fist. I would not let him play for attitude and lack of respect, not because of fingers. jmho. |
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Posted: 9/19/2014 12:08:07 AM EDT
[#10]
The ONLY time I've ever raised my voice to my stepdaughters is when they spoke to their mother like that. My own kid would forget about the thumb if he pulled that with me (or his mother)
Not saying I would physically abuse a minor, that's unnecessary and if the kid needs a whoopin' at that age it's probably too late for it to do any good (imho & etc) ETA - none of this post should be considered a judgement on the parenting ability of the OP |
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Posted: 9/19/2014 12:08:42 AM EDT
[#11]
You are dealing with two different things.
First is his "growing into manhood". He is not a puss and that should make you proud. Don't worry, if he is injured to the point of can't play. He will tell you. Second is his DEFIANCE. This cannot be tolerated. He doesn't pay the rent or groceries. You cannot let this go unchallenged. How do you deal with it? Here is what I would do. I would sit his ass down and tell him that you are proud of him for not being a punk. Tell him you are concerned but are willing to go with it if he can hack it. Then... I would ground his ass off his cell phone and computer, and Xbox and after game fun and.... Well you get the picture. Assign him to do a 5 page essay on Authority and Family Dynamics and the importance of growing into manhood. Tell him he is grounded for two weeks... Unless he can get you an excellent paper in by one week. This will teach him respect and responsibility. Good luck |
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Posted: 9/19/2014 12:11:53 AM EDT
[#12]
You're the dad. You're in charge. "Raging" on you should be intolerable.
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Posted: 9/19/2014 12:13:26 AM EDT
[#13]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Yes, 16, I don't what happened there. Still it's not like if he tweaks it really good he won't be out of there and if he ever thinks he can whip his old man then the OP has far bigger problems like why he doesn't have the respect of his son in the first place. Reason one maybe "dad uses internet polls to make decisions that effect my life my life". Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
If is thumb was not broken he would be starting a game in which any of his other bones could end up broken, so there's that. Are seriously upset that your 19 year old son who is responsible enough to take himself to the doctors, to make decisions regarding the care he receives is assertive enough to challenge you over what he wants for himself? You ought to be proud of him and help him make the best of his already challenged opportunity. My two cents.
The kid is 16 and he's at that age where he thinks he can do whatever he wants, and whip his old man when the reins are tightened. He still has a few lessons to absorb. Yes, 16, I don't what happened there. Still it's not like if he tweaks it really good he won't be out of there and if he ever thinks he can whip his old man then the OP has far bigger problems like why he doesn't have the respect of his son in the first place. Reason one maybe "dad uses internet polls to make decisions that effect my life my life". The thread is more of a what would you do sorta of deal. He just got back from his friends. I told him if he is going to be an asshole, im not going to dignify him with a response. His choices are he pays the deductible on his Dr visits for this injury, he loses his car for the weekend (no homecoming dance or afterparties), and he can play. Otherwise he sits and cuts slash all day on Sunday while I watch with a cold malt beverage in hand. |
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Posted: 9/19/2014 12:13:44 AM EDT
[#14]
I voted no based on the attitude he came out you with. Sounds like junior needs to be reminded who is the adult and who is the child!
I played 10 years of football, and was as passionate as anyone else about it. On the same hand I never would have disrespected my father like that or as others said football would of been the least of my concerns. I have a daughter now, and the hardest part for me is being her dad more than being her friend. Kids have plenty of friends, just saying. |
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Posted: 9/19/2014 12:17:38 AM EDT
[#15]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Let him play. |
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Posted: 9/19/2014 12:17:59 AM EDT
[#16]
He's a junior. It's not his last season.
And who the hell lets their son come in a room and cuss and scream at them? |
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Posted: 9/19/2014 12:18:54 AM EDT
[#17]
Dr. sounds like an asshole. He won't put him in a hard cast because it's just to play football? Get a new Doc w/o a 10ft tall soap box.
I'll leave the teenager raising stuff to you, I've still got 2 more years. |
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Posted: 9/19/2014 12:18:57 AM EDT
[#18]
The school should have a athletic trainer, let him and the coaches make the call.
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Posted: 9/19/2014 12:21:25 AM EDT
[#19]
Make him cut slash, whatever that is.
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Posted: 9/19/2014 12:23:57 AM EDT
[#20]
He should be spending the next few weeks in his bedroom. At this point it has nothing to do with his injury and everything to do with his disrespectful attitude. There are enough assholes in his world already. Please don't raise another one.
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Posted: 9/19/2014 12:25:28 AM EDT
[#21]
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Make him cut slash, whatever that is. We have a few days worth of fire mitigation shit to do around our property. Basically turning large dead trees into small parts of dead trees, then moving them for removal. |
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Posted: 9/19/2014 12:25:33 AM EDT
[#22]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
You let him play now and he will walk all over you for the rest of the time he is at home. LOL. A lot of you guys turn these fucking things into the equivalent of a new jailhouse arrival. "You don't kick your celly's ass and put him in the hospital the very moment you step in there, you'll be his bitch and raped for your entire stay." |
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Posted: 9/19/2014 12:27:40 AM EDT
[#23]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Dr. sounds like an asshole. He won't put him in a hard cast because it's just to play football? Get a new Doc w/o a 10ft tall soap box. I'll leave the teenager raising stuff to you, I've still got 2 more years. The reasoning was he needs periodic x rays because the break involves the joint, so they do not want the thumb in a non removable cast |
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Posted: 9/19/2014 12:28:29 AM EDT
[#24]
D linesman? You never stated what he plays. Let him play god dammit if so.
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Posted: 9/19/2014 12:29:21 AM EDT
[#25]
What would you have done if something that important was taken away from you? I don't condone his behavior, but if you take it away, it might just damage your relationship for good. You also have to ask yourself is this something that he excels at, and can lead him into a successful life, or is it just a sport he plays. Tough decision.
Just for reference, and I understand we are talking about something different. I refuse to speak with my father because of the things he did when I was a teenager. The beatings, choking me into unconsciousness, and unreasonable physical abuse is something that cannot be forgiven. Even small things can damage a father/son relationship. |
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Posted: 9/19/2014 12:31:23 AM EDT
[#26]
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D linesman? You never stated what he plays. Let him play god dammit if so. Defensive end, 3a |
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Posted: 9/19/2014 12:38:54 AM EDT
[#27]
Remember when you were 16 and testosterone flowed like wine. Don't take his words personally but sit down and talk to him that your decision is for the greater good of the rest of his life. To live with a gimp hand will hurt his secondary trade skill options next to achieving a carrier.
It sucks to make the call but you are the commanding officer if he is 16. Look out for him like any good parent would do. |
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Posted: 9/19/2014 12:49:15 AM EDT
[#28]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Remember when you were 16 and testosterone flowed like wine. Don't take his words personally but sit down and talk to him that your decision is for the greater good of the rest of his life. To live with a gimp hand will hurt his secondary trade skill options next to achieving a carrier. It sucks to make the call but you are the commanding officer if he is 16. Look out for him like any good parent would do.  |
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Posted: 9/19/2014 12:49:59 AM EDT
[#29]
I played a full season in college with a broken finger. Broke it the second day of two a days. Just use a splint and athletic tape. No problem.
Eta: I've heard of people not playing b/c of a knee, shoulder, etc. But a finger? Seriously? |
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Posted: 9/19/2014 12:52:42 AM EDT
[#30]
I would have no problem making him sit for the rest of the season for no other reason than to learn respect. Add on the potential for additional injury and it's a no-brainier for me that he at least sits until the Dr. clears him. He'll need that thumb later in life.
Allowing him to play this game after a blatant display of disrespect and defiance would be a big demonstration of weakness and a lack of authority. |
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Posted: 9/19/2014 12:54:17 AM EDT
[#31]
As someone who just had one shoulder reconstruction and have an elbow and another shoulder to go, an ankle reconstruction, and knee surgery, from high school and college sports and being too dumb to slow down/take a break, I would advise caution.
Eta: just turned 32. If he can play safely then let him, unless this attitude was more than a one off thing, then he sits to learn a lesson about respect. |
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Posted: 9/19/2014 12:55:02 AM EDT
[#32]
Quoted:
Looking for opinions on what to do. My son is a junior in high-school, sixteen, and plays football. Last week, he broke his thumb in two spots during a JV game. After seeing the doctor, he was cleared to play with the stipulation being that he would have to get the thumb properly stabilized before any football activities He played a JV and Varsity game without incident before reinjuring the thumb at practice Tuesday. He went to the doctor in his own accord to request a hard cast to make playing bearable, but they ended up calling me to tell me they will not recommend he can play until the thumb is healed. That brings us to today. I email the coaches saying he will not be able to play the homecoming game tomorrow, as he isn't clear. I courtesy copied him on the email. The kid runs into my office after practice today and comes unhinged. Absolutely unglued. Swearing, ranting, just generally raging. Apparently because he beat a few seniors and a starter didn't show up, he would have been making his starting varsity debut during the homecoming game. He already emailed the coaches telling them to disregard my email and that he will be playing anyway, but they need an email from me for liability. I don't appreciate him gong behind me back, but I couldn't believe it when he looked me in the face and snorted "I'm not asking your permission to play. I'm telling you that I am." I don't want to let him play on principle, but I also know the limited scope of a sixteen year olds scale of importance. What do you guys think. Not let him dress, let him dress with a punishment otherwise? Tldr: Wont let son play in football game because of injury. Son enraged because it would have been his starting varsity debut at homecoming. Comes home and rages on me after finding out I wasn't going to allow him to play. Update: He just got back from his friends. I told him if he is going to be an asshole, im not going to dignify him with a response. His choices are he pays the deductible on his Dr visits for this injury, he loses his car for the weekend (no homecoming dance or afterparties), and he can play. Otherwise he sits and cuts slash all day on Sunday while I watch with a cold malt beverage in hand. One question. Did you discuss the situation with him prior to you emailing the coach? IOW, did you first let your son know that you planned to not let him play? |
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Posted: 9/19/2014 12:56:46 AM EDT
[#33]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
I would have no problem making him sit for the rest of the season for no other reason than to learn respect. Add on the potential for additional injury and it's a no-brainier for me that he at least sits until the Dr. clears him. He'll need that thumb later in life. Allowing him to play this game after a blatant display of disrespect and defiance would be a big demonstration of weakness and a lack of authority. This screams accurate to me! |
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Posted: 9/19/2014 1:00:14 AM EDT
[#34]
I used to be very disrespectful towards my parents when I was younger. I really learned I was wrong when I turned 18. My father worked out of state and my dad said I should be man of the house. I changed on my own and realized my mistakes. My sister is young and is get disrespectful towards my parents. I sometime have to be a 3rd parent as they are deaf and can't hear what she says. If she was my daughter. She would be grounded with noting for a long ass time.
With your son, the tone and actions he made, I would say tough on him and make him stay home. If he was to defy you, he should have done it in a much better way. That along with the tone would have made me say," Are you in charge of this house? Are you an adult? If no, sit the fuck down and listen to your parents." Your son seems to have a great heart, just needs a attitude tweaking. |
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Posted: 9/19/2014 1:02:49 AM EDT
[#35]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
The reasoning was he needs periodic x rays because the break involves the joint, so they do not want the thumb in a non removable cast Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
Dr. sounds like an asshole. He won't put him in a hard cast because it's just to play football? Get a new Doc w/o a 10ft tall soap box. I'll leave the teenager raising stuff to you, I've still got 2 more years. The reasoning was he needs periodic x rays because the break involves the joint, so they do not want the thumb in a non removable cast Wow, that's important info. If the break is on the joint and the Dr won't clear him, don't let him play. |
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Posted: 9/19/2014 1:04:58 AM EDT
[#36]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
One question. Did you discuss the situation with him prior to you emailing the coach? IOW, did you first let your son know that you planned to not let him play? Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
Looking for opinions on what to do. My son is a junior in high-school, sixteen, and plays football. Last week, he broke his thumb in two spots during a JV game. After seeing the doctor, he was cleared to play with the stipulation being that he would have to get the thumb properly stabilized before any football activities He played a JV and Varsity game without incident before reinjuring the thumb at practice Tuesday. He went to the doctor in his own accord to request a hard cast to make playing bearable, but they ended up calling me to tell me they will not recommend he can play until the thumb is healed. That brings us to today. I email the coaches saying he will not be able to play the homecoming game tomorrow, as he isn't clear. I courtesy copied him on the email. The kid runs into my office after practice today and comes unhinged. Absolutely unglued. Swearing, ranting, just generally raging. Apparently because he beat a few seniors and a starter didn't show up, he would have been making his starting varsity debut during the homecoming game. He already emailed the coaches telling them to disregard my email and that he will be playing anyway, but they need an email from me for liability. I don't appreciate him gong behind me back, but I couldn't believe it when he looked me in the face and snorted "I'm not asking your permission to play. I'm telling you that I am." I don't want to let him play on principle, but I also know the limited scope of a sixteen year olds scale of importance. What do you guys think. Not let him dress, let him dress with a punishment otherwise? Tldr: Wont let son play in football game because of injury. Son enraged because it would have been his starting varsity debut at homecoming. Comes home and rages on me after finding out I wasn't going to allow him to play. Update: He just got back from his friends. I told him if he is going to be an asshole, im not going to dignify him with a response. His choices are he pays the deductible on his Dr visits for this injury, he loses his car for the weekend (no homecoming dance or afterparties), and he can play. Otherwise he sits and cuts slash all day on Sunday while I watch with a cold malt beverage in hand. One question. Did you discuss the situation with him prior to you emailing the coach? IOW, did you first let your son know that you planned to not let him play? I did not. He first caught wind of it when he saw the email in his inbox. |
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Posted: 9/19/2014 1:05:47 AM EDT
[#37]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
This screams accurate to me! Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
I would have no problem making him sit for the rest of the season for no other reason than to learn respect. Add on the potential for additional injury and it's a no-brainier for me that he at least sits until the Dr. clears him. He'll need that thumb later in life. Allowing him to play this game after a blatant display of disrespect and defiance would be a big demonstration of weakness and a lack of authority. This screams accurate to me! Yeah, let's teach him not to fight for things he cares about or works hard to prepare for. IMO he is not being disrespectful. He is the one that has busted his ass for a year to get ready for this season, not you. You should have talked to him before you talked to his coach. I would feel betrayed if my dad did something like that to me. There is a lot worse that he could be doing. |
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Posted: 9/19/2014 1:08:56 AM EDT
[#38]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Shit if your son wants to play that bad. Have a firm talk to him and let him know you are the father. But if he really wants to play and stick it out, let him, if you don't you will break his spirit. Your son seems like a good American boy,let him learn to be his own man. Even though I understand your concerns as a father for his injury, we need more lion hearted kids like yours. I could'nt help but to be proud of him.  |
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Posted: 9/19/2014 1:08:57 AM EDT
[#39]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
I did not. He first caught wind of it when he saw the email in his inbox. Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
Looking for opinions on what to do. My son is a junior in high-school, sixteen, and plays football. Last week, he broke his thumb in two spots during a JV game. After seeing the doctor, he was cleared to play with the stipulation being that he would have to get the thumb properly stabilized before any football activities He played a JV and Varsity game without incident before reinjuring the thumb at practice Tuesday. He went to the doctor in his own accord to request a hard cast to make playing bearable, but they ended up calling me to tell me they will not recommend he can play until the thumb is healed. That brings us to today. I email the coaches saying he will not be able to play the homecoming game tomorrow, as he isn't clear. I courtesy copied him on the email. The kid runs into my office after practice today and comes unhinged. Absolutely unglued. Swearing, ranting, just generally raging. Apparently because he beat a few seniors and a starter didn't show up, he would have been making his starting varsity debut during the homecoming game. He already emailed the coaches telling them to disregard my email and that he will be playing anyway, but they need an email from me for liability. I don't appreciate him gong behind me back, but I couldn't believe it when he looked me in the face and snorted "I'm not asking your permission to play. I'm telling you that I am." I don't want to let him play on principle, but I also know the limited scope of a sixteen year olds scale of importance. What do you guys think. Not let him dress, let him dress with a punishment otherwise? Tldr: Wont let son play in football game because of injury. Son enraged because it would have been his starting varsity debut at homecoming. Comes home and rages on me after finding out I wasn't going to allow him to play. Update: He just got back from his friends. I told him if he is going to be an asshole, im not going to dignify him with a response. His choices are he pays the deductible on his Dr visits for this injury, he loses his car for the weekend (no homecoming dance or afterparties), and he can play. Otherwise he sits and cuts slash all day on Sunday while I watch with a cold malt beverage in hand. One question. Did you discuss the situation with him prior to you emailing the coach? IOW, did you first let your son know that you planned to not let him play? I did not. He first caught wind of it when he saw the email in his inbox. Not to excuse his disrespect, but I can see why he'd be a bit perturbed. Looking back, don't you think CCing him in an email shouldn't have been the way you told him? <--Father of a 14yo daughter and a 12yo son. Both of whom love their chosen sports... |
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Posted: 9/19/2014 1:12:37 AM EDT
[#40]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
This The thumb is not the issue here. It's all about attitude and relationship. Nip this in the bud now.... or it's gonna be a long few years before you throw him out Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
You let him play now and he will walk all over you for the rest of the time he is at home. This The thumb is not the issue here. It's all about attitude and relationship. Nip this in the bud now.... or it's gonna be a long few years before you throw him out I have to agree with this. |
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Posted: 9/19/2014 1:18:09 AM EDT
[#41]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Not to excuse his disrespect, but I can see why he'd be a bit perturbed. Looking back, don't you think CCing him in an email shouldn't have been the way you told him? <--Father of a 14yo daughter and a 12yo son. Both of whom love their chosen sports... Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
Looking for opinions on what to do. My son is a junior in high-school, sixteen, and plays football. Last week, he broke his thumb in two spots during a JV game. After seeing the doctor, he was cleared to play with the stipulation being that he would have to get the thumb properly stabilized before any football activities He played a JV and Varsity game without incident before reinjuring the thumb at practice Tuesday. He went to the doctor in his own accord to request a hard cast to make playing bearable, but they ended up calling me to tell me they will not recommend he can play until the thumb is healed. That brings us to today. I email the coaches saying he will not be able to play the homecoming game tomorrow, as he isn't clear. I courtesy copied him on the email. The kid runs into my office after practice today and comes unhinged. Absolutely unglued. Swearing, ranting, just generally raging. Apparently because he beat a few seniors and a starter didn't show up, he would have been making his starting varsity debut during the homecoming game. He already emailed the coaches telling them to disregard my email and that he will be playing anyway, but they need an email from me for liability. I don't appreciate him gong behind me back, but I couldn't believe it when he looked me in the face and snorted "I'm not asking your permission to play. I'm telling you that I am." I don't want to let him play on principle, but I also know the limited scope of a sixteen year olds scale of importance. What do you guys think. Not let him dress, let him dress with a punishment otherwise? Tldr: Wont let son play in football game because of injury. Son enraged because it would have been his starting varsity debut at homecoming. Comes home and rages on me after finding out I wasn't going to allow him to play. Update: He just got back from his friends. I told him if he is going to be an asshole, im not going to dignify him with a response. His choices are he pays the deductible on his Dr visits for this injury, he loses his car for the weekend (no homecoming dance or afterparties), and he can play. Otherwise he sits and cuts slash all day on Sunday while I watch with a cold malt beverage in hand. One question. Did you discuss the situation with him prior to you emailing the coach? IOW, did you first let your son know that you planned to not let him play? I did not. He first caught wind of it when he saw the email in his inbox. Not to excuse his disrespect, but I can see why he'd be a bit perturbed. Looking back, don't you think CCing him in an email shouldn't have been the way you told him? <--Father of a 14yo daughter and a 12yo son. Both of whom love their chosen sports... Yes, that was a poor decision made in haste on my part |
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Posted: 9/19/2014 1:19:42 AM EDT
[#42]
Have a talk w/ him first..alone. Tell him his attitude is what is keeping him off then field but if he apologizes properly and sincerely,it could, maybe change. Let him understand what authority structure is all about. Your House your rules. But you do realize his passion has made him go over your head and that cannot ever happen again. You can play the game, but when you get home the garage gets clean, his room and the dishes have to be done by him and whatever chores to be added. Plus no phone for one week and no video games.
If you re-injure the thumb, you are sitting down for a couple of games and that is not negotiable. I love you son but attitude and honesty is everything to me. This is my choice and my punishment. So, is there an apology or are you sitting out this game? Added bonus this exact scenario happened with my Dad when I was in Ninth grade and hurt my right thumb and I was a DB/Safety. I genuinely apologized and felt bad for trying to get my Coach to call him to say it was ok. I never did that again, because I kne my dad was on my side but wanted me to know there are consequences to deception. I always told my Dad the truth because he used wisdom on how to punish me without causing rebellion in me. Great man. Oh and I did not hurt my thumb...I was self conscious the whole game to protect my thumb but I played just fine. I had one week phone resctriction and mowed grass, cleaned garage, washed dishes every night for one week. But I was grateful to exchange my deception for punishment and be able to play the game. |
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Posted: 9/19/2014 1:20:26 AM EDT
[#43]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Yeah, let's teach him not to fight for things he cares about or works hard to prepare for. IMO he is not being disrespectful. He is the one that has busted his ass for a year to get ready for this season, not you. You should have talked to him before you talked to his coach. I would feel betrayed if my dad did something like that to me. There is a lot worse that he could be doing. Quote HistoryQuoted:
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I would have no problem making him sit for the rest of the season for no other reason than to learn respect. Add on the potential for additional injury and it's a no-brainier for me that he at least sits until the Dr. clears him. He'll need that thumb later in life. Allowing him to play this game after a blatant display of disrespect and defiance would be a big demonstration of weakness and a lack of authority. This screams accurate to me! Yeah, let's teach him not to fight for things he cares about or works hard to prepare for. IMO he is not being disrespectful. He is the one that has busted his ass for a year to get ready for this season, not you. You should have talked to him before you talked to his coach. I would feel betrayed if my dad did something like that to me. There is a lot worse that he could be doing. He's 16 and he was raging and cursing at his dad. That goes beyond fighting for something he cares for. Cursing at your dad is the epitome of disrespect. Kid needs some perspective. As shocking as it may seem, football is just a game. |
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Posted: 9/19/2014 1:27:55 AM EDT
[#44]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Yeah, let's teach him not to fight for things he cares about or works hard to prepare for. IMO he is not being disrespectful. He is the one that has busted his ass for a year to get ready for this season, not you. You should have talked to him before you talked to his coach. I would feel betrayed if my dad did something like that to me. There is a lot worse that he could be doing. Quote HistoryQuoted: Quoted: Quoted: I would have no problem making him sit for the rest of the season for no other reason than to learn respect. Add on the potential for additional injury and it's a no-brainier for me that he at least sits until the Dr. clears him. He'll need that thumb later in life. Allowing him to play this game after a blatant display of disrespect and defiance would be a big demonstration of weakness and a lack of authority. This screams accurate to me! Yeah, let's teach him not to fight for things he cares about or works hard to prepare for. IMO he is not being disrespectful. He is the one that has busted his ass for a year to get ready for this season, not you. You should have talked to him before you talked to his coach. I would feel betrayed if my dad did something like that to me. There is a lot worse that he could be doing. "The kid runs into my office after practice today and comes unhinged. Absolutely unglued. Swearing, ranting, just generally raging. " Yeah, nothing disrespectful about that.  . Let's teach the kid that throwing temper tantrums will get him what he wants. |
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Posted: 9/19/2014 1:32:57 AM EDT
[#45]
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Kick him in the ass, stabilize and protect the thumb, let him play. Best advice so far. |
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Posted: 9/19/2014 1:34:43 AM EDT
[#46]
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Coming from someone who has 3 fucked up fingers from high school football. Don't let him play and give them time to heal Coming from someone who had their collegiate career ended with a back injury, let him play after disciplining him for the way he approached you about it. |
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Posted: 9/19/2014 1:42:53 AM EDT
[#47]
Don't let him play. And kindly remind him if he ever raises his voice to you again, or goes behind your back he's off the team for the rest of the year.
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Posted: 9/19/2014 1:43:38 AM EDT
[#48]
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Looking for opinions on what to do. My son is a junior in high-school, sixteen, and plays football. Last week, he broke his thumb in two spots during a JV game. After seeing the doctor, he was cleared to play with the stipulation being that he would have to get the thumb properly stabilized before any football activities He played a JV and Varsity game without incident before reinjuring the thumb at practice Tuesday. He went to the doctor in his own accord to request a hard cast to make playing bearable, but they ended up calling me to tell me they will not recommend he can play until the thumb is healed. That brings us to today. I email the coaches saying he will not be able to play the homecoming game tomorrow, as he isn't clear. I courtesy copied him on the email. The kid runs into my office after practice today and comes unhinged. Absolutely unglued. Swearing, ranting, just generally raging. Apparently because he beat a few seniors and a starter didn't show up, he would have been making his starting varsity debut during the homecoming game. He already emailed the coaches telling them to disregard my email and that he will be playing anyway, but they need an email from me for liability. I don't appreciate him gong behind me back, but I couldn't believe it when he looked me in the face and snorted "I'm not asking your permission to play. I'm telling you that I am." I don't want to let him play on principle, but I also know the limited scope of a sixteen year olds scale of importance. What do you guys think. Not let him dress, let him dress with a punishment otherwise? Tldr: Wont let son play in football game because of injury. Son enraged because it would have been his starting varsity debut at homecoming. Comes home and rages on me after finding out I wasn't going to allow him to play. Update: He just got back from his friends. I told him if he is going to be an asshole, im not going to dignify him with a response. His choices are he pays the deductible on his Dr visits for this injury, he loses his car for the weekend (no homecoming dance or afterparties), and he can play. Otherwise he sits and cuts slash all day on Sunday while I watch with a cold malt beverage in hand. One question. Did you discuss the situation with him prior to you emailing the coach? IOW, did you first let your son know that you planned to not let him play? I did not. He first caught wind of it when he saw the email in his inbox. Not to excuse his disrespect, but I can see why he'd be a bit perturbed. Looking back, don't you think CCing him in an email shouldn't have been the way you told him? <--Father of a 14yo daughter and a 12yo son. Both of whom love their chosen sports... Yes, that was a poor decision made in haste on my part Maybe you guys need to talk. |
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Posted: 9/19/2014 1:46:22 AM EDT
[#49]
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Call me crazy but I'm going to have to go with the Dr's advice. Aside from the disrespect to you, which would cause me to have my son sit out the game... As a former medic, I also agree highly with the above as well. The Doctor is going to keep him from being out of more games than he can even imagine right now. If he tears the thumb ligament because the bones are broken and the ligament is all that is really holding it there for now, he's done for a long time. Good luck to you. And I voted NO as well... |
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Posted: 9/19/2014 1:59:59 AM EDT
[#50]
It sounds like a miscommunication. Probably should've talked with each other before firing off emails or making appointments.
As far as things go, your son wanting to play with his team for a big game isn't the worst shit he could be into. Pick your battles. Thinking about it more, thumbs are pretty important. I wouldn't let him play, but I would explain/apologize for the way it went down and demonstrate being the "bigger man" in these situations. I'd still hold him accountable for freaking out and the appointment, just accept your role in it (lack of considerate communication). |
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