I can't help much on where to get the tool you're looking for, but all of them I've every done were plenty snug even just from finger tight with the knobs.
As long as it was bumped up to the front of the slot and snug I've had no issues. Where I do have issues is pulling off stuff that I overtightened in the first place.
Cinch it down however hard you want, but from what I know just like scope rings the real rigidity and all that comes from being tight against the front of the rail slot so when physics happens and the rifle moves back and the handle wants to stay still it has nowhere to go thus doesn't shift.
Keep in mind your average scope ring need 20ish inch pounds so even if you were using it as an actual handle 25-30 seems like it would be more than sufficient.