As usual during my daily commute to work from Raytown to Shawnee, some dang inattentive fool, this time in a brown Ford BUTT (big ugly trucklike thing), cut me off with mere inches to spare.  Said idiot driver was obliviously chatting on their phone on an obviously very important call , causing me to have to quickly check my rearview mirror (so I don't get rammed from behind), STAND on the brakes and simultaneously LAY on my rather anemic horn to alert said driver to the error of their ways.  Thank GOD I fixed my brakes last weekend.

Out of no love for tooting my own horn, if it were not for my usual hyper-attentive driving style coupled with cat-like quick reflexes, a generally superior (compared to most folks out there) driving ability and my car's performance characteristics (hey, it ain't no bloated-whale Chebby!), the ONLY reason that idiot driver was NOT in a wreck this morning (it would've basically been a PIT maneuver because I would have stood on my go-pedal to prevent my FWD car from spinning uncontrollably) was because of me, my skills and my vehicle's capabilities!

Usually such events go unnoticed by most and certainly by Johnny Law who is off somewhere else saving the world and I simply continue on to work seething mad and gritting my teeth all the while trying not to cause a wreck myself due to the rage.  But this morning, as this event unfolded and ended within mere seconds, there was Johnnette Law in her Kansas HiPo cruiser immediately to my left.  YESSSS!!!!!!  Immediately her lights and siren came on and the aforementioned idiot got pulled to the shoulder to receive his reward!

Ahhh, sweet vindication!  My adrenalin rush soon segued into a nice, warm cozy feeling knowing that today some idiot driver would be getting their just dessert.  Suddenly, if only for a moment, the Universe is temporarily realigned back into a correct and fair state.  

ETA:  Now I wonder what, if any, infractions will be listed on the ticket.  I'm thinking Inattentive Driving, Aggressive Driving (yes IMO one can do both at the same time) and Failure To Yield.

No, I was busy tightening my sphincter.  

I get an evil chuckle out fo the Darwin Award candidates I see in traffic every day that obviously slept all the way through their High School physics class.  These are the rocket scientists who, looking for another lane to dart into during stop & go "rush hour" traffic so they can get-shead one or two car lengths, pull in front of the big semi truck while it is trying to brake.  Playing dumb to Newton's Laws especially the one related to kinetic energy, can have some seriously bad effects.  Yes, the truck is a perfect opportunity to get in front of when it is trying to accellerate from a stop up to the prevailing speed.  But not while it istrying to bring its many tons to a stop.    I couldn't be an OTR driver, I'd go insane or kill people.  Well, perhaps just the deserving ones.

I wish.  It all happened so quickly that she appeared to be of decent build quality.  

That is I and my beloved little car.  Are you the guy with the green Durango with a BFL on the back window?  If so that would explain why I see the vehicle headed west towards KS with KS plates on it in the mornings.

Howdy.  

If they do try that sheet again, and actually make contact with their rear corner to my front corner, I absolutely am going to floor it and try my hardest to PIT the silly daffodils.  Call it my Fight Or Flight reflex.    If gas were cheaper I'd daily drive my old D100 and let 'em try to mess with that tank!

They assess more points against your license too.  Ask me how I know that.