Excerpts from the journal of a cat.
Day 183 of my captivity: My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little
dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat
dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and
the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture.
Tomorrow I may eat another house plant.
Day 184 of my Captivity: my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they
were walking almost succeeded; must try this at the top of the stairs. In an
attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced
myself to vomit on their favorite chair; must try this on their bed.
Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in an attempt to
make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into
their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat
I was. Hmmm, not working according to plan.
Day 185 of my captivity:There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in
solitary confinement throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise
and smell the food. More importantly, I overheard that my confinement was
due to my power of "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to
my advantage.
I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog
is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a
half-wit. The bird, on the other hand, has got to be an informant, and
speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to
his current placement in the metal room, his safety is assured. But I can wait;
it is only a matter of time.