I would advise you to choose a load from the major bullet manufacturers that is their current top of the line as far as current technology goes. There are many manufacturers out there. If you choose a load from Federal, Remington, Speer, Corbon, or Winchester you will be happy. Check them out and try different loads. There are very few poor loads in the .40 S&W because it was designed to be a police/defensive load for handguns from the beginning.
My personal opinion on the Hornady XTP is to avoid it. It tends to penetrate too deeply and expansion is often minimal. It might be a good hunting bullet for certain applications but I'd avoid it for personal defense against humans.