OP here....
Thanks for all the input. Amazing that you guys (or gals) all chimed in. Much appreciated.
I think the net result of my research, along with the perspectives in this thread, is that I'm (1) idealistic and (2) looking for a unicorn.
I dig the medical training that I take. I enjoy the idea of the "TacMed" and spend a fair amount of time and money each year getting good at both skillsets.
Ive invested in private instruction gunfighter training for years from guys that are all former SOF and are beyond good at what they do. Then added to it, NAEMT classes, ARC training, ECSI training and other private med training from tacmeds, former 68W's and W1s', and a flight paramedic. I throw my own time and money at this and none of it is related to my full time vocation.
I teach my family that you need to be as good at taking a life as saving a life. Since most "gun guys" are, well, "gun guys", and most don't know a tourniquet from a neck tie, I pride myself in the concept of having the ability to stabilize and sustain life as well as being the most dangerous man in the room so to speak.
So I find myself on car crashes a time or two per year. I'm the only guy on scene with blue gloves and a med kit for the 4 minutes of madness that occurs before fire or ambulance roll up. Ive been on like 12 crashes for some reason. God only knows why. Its not like I drive a taxi or anything. Just commute to work and back, and see fresh wrecks couple times a year for some reason. Sounds like I'm driving a traffic circle in Iraq but this is just a normal city in the US. So I have a med kit and nitrile gloves at the ready for first aid.
However the coffee I need to smell is that the adrenaline kick I get from being the civilian first responder, along with the admitted Superman mentality that I get from being a reasonably highly trained gunfighter AND a reasonably highly trained civilian medic, is that this is not a game. These people are hurt and it should not be a source of exhilaration for me that I seek out. I desire to help and I want to be there on someones worst day, but I think i need to draw a reasonable line where I need to say stop. There is no such thing as a 911 ambulance that has an empty seat for a wanna-be that wants to sit in on hero day then get dropped off at the house before you have to carry the fleas that come with the dog. I think I realize that now. Thanks for all the perspectives.