Sized-to-Fit Condoms Obviously Require You to Accurately Measure Your Naughty Bits

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[ARCHIVED THREAD] - Sized-to-Fit Condoms Obviously Require You to Accurately Measure Your Naughty Bits (Page 1 of 3)

Posted: 9/17/2009 1:36:21 PM EDT

"Fact: The FDA doesn't allow very large or very small condoms. Magnum XLs are only sightly bigger than normal. In Europe, however, they are soon going to get them in 70 different sizes. Are you a J33 or a G22?

Click to download the fit kit in PDF format

Believe it or not, using a condom that is not suited for your penis increases the possibilities of breakage and slippage, which in turn increases the possibility of sexually transmitted infections, or unwanted pregnancies. Even while they know this—as have been discovered in various studies—the FDA doesn't allow for condoms that are longer, shorter, thinner, or thicker than the average. That's bad—not to mention effing annoying.

In Europe, however, men will be able to print out this measuring tool, and order exactly the size they need. Hopefully, someone will bring these TheyFit condoms to the US. For now, however, all you can do is print and play."

Posted: 9/17/2009 1:38:29 PM EDT

[#1]

Wow

Posted: 9/17/2009 1:40:19 PM EDT

[#2]

Everyone knows all of ARFCOM is a size G22.

Posted: 9/17/2009 1:40:58 PM EDT

[#3]

I just printed it out and tried it, G22 here .

Posted: 9/17/2009 1:43:51 PM EDT

[#4]

Another G22

Posted: 9/17/2009 1:44:11 PM EDT

[#5]

Shit, I got a paper cut from the top of the page.

Posted: 9/17/2009 1:44:59 PM EDT

[#6]

Don't they make them in big boy sizes?

Posted: 9/17/2009 1:45:27 PM EDT

[#7]

It's sad that I'm really tempted to print this out.

Posted: 9/17/2009 1:46:08 PM EDT

[#8]

TheyFit used to be available in the US, they kept failing the FDA-mandated tests so they were banned from importation.

Kharn

Posted: 9/17/2009 1:46:11 PM EDT

[#9]

Quoted:
Everyone knows all of ARFCOM is a size G22.

i'm built like a tuna can, I need a J22.

Posted: 9/17/2009 1:46:22 PM EDT

[#10]

Haha

Wide––––––wider

long––––––-longer

Can't offend the customers!

Posted: 9/17/2009 1:49:59 PM EDT

[#11]

Bunch of nancy boys here, tell me when thay come out with G22 XXL

Posted: 9/17/2009 1:50:08 PM EDT

[#12]

You guys are doing it wrong, suppose to measure your junk, not your feet

Posted: 9/17/2009 1:50:26 PM EDT

[#13]

The size J33 comes with your choice of either a bottle of Prozac or a single shot shotgun.

Posted: 9/17/2009 1:50:50 PM EDT

[#14]

So all you G22 guys...do you kaboom when you go off?

Posted: 9/17/2009 1:51:50 PM EDT

[#15]

"Please report to the BOTD Forum for proper fitting inspiration"

Posted: 9/17/2009 1:52:04 PM EDT

[#16]

Just stick to anal and you won't have to worry about the latex silliness

Posted: 9/17/2009 1:52:53 PM EDT

[#17]

Where's the link to the version that prints on 8 1/2 * 14 paper?

Posted: 9/17/2009 1:53:56 PM EDT

[#18]

WTF? Is something wrong with this sizing thing? I printed it off, and it's like trying to measure a telephone pole with a yardstick.

Posted: 9/17/2009 1:54:11 PM EDT

[#19]

Quoted:
Where's the link to the version that prints on 8 1/2 * 14 paper?

Don't you mean 3x5 index card

Posted: 9/17/2009 1:55:13 PM EDT

[#20]

n...

Posted: 9/17/2009 1:55:20 PM EDT

[#21]

Got a papercut on my tongue.

Posted: 9/17/2009 1:55:53 PM EDT

[#22]

Quoted:
WTF? Is something wrong with this sizing thing? I printed it off, and it's like trying to measure a telephone pole with a yardstick.

call them up and ask for the child sizes

Posted: 9/17/2009 1:56:39 PM EDT

[#23]

Quoted:

Quoted:
WTF? Is something wrong with this sizing thing? I printed it off, and it's like trying to measure a telephone pole with a yardstick.

call them up and ask for the child sizes

Any smaller and I couldn't even measure my damn forearm.

Posted: 9/17/2009 1:57:15 PM EDT

[#24]

wow that cartoon penis has some super wood going on there

Posted: 9/17/2009 1:58:23 PM EDT

[#25]

Is that chart oversized or something? I can't get past the fine print.

Posted: 9/17/2009 2:02:25 PM EDT

[#26]

Quoted:
Where's the link to the version that prints on 8 1/2 * 14 paper?

I made a special copy sized just for you.

Posted: 9/17/2009 2:04:07 PM EDT

[#27]

I notice your size options are Wide or Wider, and Long or Longer.

Looks like the marketroids got that one right!

Posted: 9/17/2009 2:06:15 PM EDT

[#28]

Too...many....hilarious....responses!!!

Posted: 9/17/2009 2:08:51 PM EDT

[#29]

Quoted:
Just stick to anal and you won't have to worry about the latex silliness

Good way to get a UTI. Ask me how I know.

Posted: 9/17/2009 2:11:49 PM EDT

[#30]

Damn

I'm hung like a

Hamster

Posted: 9/17/2009 2:14:04 PM EDT

[#31]

Is that picture of the Wizard really necessary.

Posted: 9/17/2009 2:14:07 PM EDT

[#32]

I am going to go to staples and tell the girl I need this page enlarged because it isnt big enough on an 8x11 sheet.

She'll figure it out when I leave.

Posted: 9/17/2009 2:14:27 PM EDT

[#33]

I said "fuck it" and just taped the damn thing to my dick, wife didn't even notice.

GM

Posted: 9/17/2009 2:16:11 PM EDT

[#34]

Quoted:

Quoted:
Where's the link to the version that prints on 8 1/2 * 14 paper?

I made a special copy sized just for you.

http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y91/Eyesofsilver/custom_1253207337740_FitKit-1.jpg

Ha, that looks like the seating chart on United Airline's reservation site...

Posted: 9/17/2009 2:16:25 PM EDT

[#35]

"Big like can of pepsi"

Posted: 9/17/2009 2:16:31 PM EDT

[#36]

I'm not putting my junk anywhere near that creepy penis measuring wizard

Posted: 9/17/2009 2:16:53 PM EDT

[#37]

What size smaller than 'J'?

Posted: 9/17/2009 2:22:29 PM EDT

[#38]

That chart doesn't work for shit. I can't line it up with my junk without scrolling around with the mouse roller, my balls keep hitting the F12 key, and now I need to clean my monitor. Who thought this shit up

Posted: 9/17/2009 2:22:38 PM EDT

[#39]

I don't see any warning for "Remove before use"

The cool thing is, now women can discriminate by size when they post up personal ads.

Posted: 9/17/2009 2:23:37 PM EDT

[#40]

Quoted:

Is that picture of the Wizard really necessary.

I put on my wizard robe, and hat.

I thought the same thing. Why not a hot chick?

Posted: 9/17/2009 2:24:14 PM EDT

[#41]

Damn, my monitor glass is cold.

Posted: 9/17/2009 2:27:07 PM EDT

[#42]

Quoted:
That chart doesn't work for shit. I can't line it up with my junk without scrolling around with the mouse roller, my balls keep hitting the F12 key, and now I need to clean my monitor. Who thought this shit up

Try these alternate instructions:

Place your junk on the scanner. Slam the lid closed. Scan, print and voila!

Posted: 9/17/2009 2:27:54 PM EDT

[#43]

I'm sure there's an Arfcommer here who could modify the template to American Standards and a pic of Megan Fox superimposed

Posted: 9/17/2009 2:30:03 PM EDT

[#44]

A copy will be left on the work printer soon...

Posted: 9/17/2009 2:30:20 PM EDT

[#45]

Quoted:
That chart doesn't work for shit. I can't line it up with my junk without scrolling around with the mouse roller, my balls keep hitting the F12 key, and now I need to clean my monitor. Who thought this shit up

Posted: 9/17/2009 2:30:22 PM EDT

[#46]

I see I'm not alone on not wanting to put my dick on a cartoon wizard

Posted: 9/17/2009 2:30:57 PM EDT

[#47]

I'm smart as a horse.

And hung like Einstein.

John

Posted: 9/17/2009 2:32:23 PM EDT

[#48]

Quoted:
Where's the link to the version that prints on 8 1/2 * 14 paper?

We're arfcommers, you know everyone here needs an Hp plotter, and that picture needs to be plotted on ansi e size.

Posted: 9/17/2009 2:32:27 PM EDT

[#49]

Guys.

Just go to the store and buy some A4 sized paper.

Or print this off in Mexico or Canada and use their paper instead.

We use 8 1/2 x 11. Why? Because were awesome and want to say FUCK YOU to the rest of the world as often as possible.

Posted: 9/17/2009 2:33:33 PM EDT

[#50]

That's some funny shit

[ARCHIVED THREAD] - Sized-to-Fit Condoms Obviously Require You to Accurately Measure Your Naughty Bits (Page 1 of 3)

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