I've not lived the most exciting life, but there's been some unusual times that I've been part of or witness to. Some were just plain odd.  I've sometimes told others about these experiences, only to get the feeling that they don't really believe a word I'm saying. I guess I would be better off keeping those things to myself, but because they're so odd, I sometimes feel a need to talk about it. I'm no saint, by any means, but I learned early on in life that lying was wrong. I sometimes wonder if my communication skills are lacking, or maybe I come across sounding more like a liar than an honest man. It's frustrating.  I'd tell ya'll about some of them, but you wouldn't  believe a word I was saying! Feel free to tell your true, but unbelievable stories, though.

Oh you have to tell us now

IBTDHC



(In before the dead hooker comments)

Do any of these involve a hot tub and tapioca?

In Before Teh Surprise Buttsecks

In before the Aliens

Mine involve shooing a bear with a muzzleloader, getting drunk in an airport bar, sharing a stall in a Mc'Donalds with a crack head chick, and as of a week ago, today, seeing two lipstick lesbians in the wild... I know, ya'll don't believe me do ya!?!

do go on...

living with a crackhead for two months, walking into a room as a shotgun explodes towards my face, WALKING through tampa bay at 3 AM i could go on.

Edit - clarity.

There are reasons I keep my most interesting experiences to myself.  The most important reason being that people not acquainted with the scenarios and the environments in which they develop will simply not be able to grasp the important parts and will misunderstand.  Either they will continue with faulty assumptions or they will never look at you the same way again.  Others are better left ignorant.  Generally speaking, the only reason to inform them of the details is to seek attention for one's self.

So fucking IN on one!!!!

This is a story I've shared with only a few people, due to it's nature.....
Early one morning at a McDonalds at Fort Chiswell , Virginia, I was having breakfast in preparation for going deer hunting in the mountains. There's a Greyhound bus stop next to it.  After my large cup of coffee had kicked in, I went to use the restroom. Now, the stall  there is kinda unusual in that it takes up the whole length of the back wall of the restroom. Once inside, the door latch is out of reach of the toilet. Being the seasoned deer hunter, I had brought some toilet paper from home with me in the leg pocket of my camo pants, in case I had a pain hit me out in the woods. There was none in the stall but what I had brought with me. As I'm sitting there, I hear a commotion and someone entering the bathroom. I hear two voices. One male, one female. The next thing I see is the latch of the stall wiggling. I say "It's occupied!" The next thing is see it two feminine hands grasping the top of the stall door and then her head pops up. She says, "Hey man, I need some paper!. Her face was all red, her eye's were wild, and I could tell she was on something. I hear the guy laughing outside the stall. I was awful embarrassed and starting to get angry. I wasn't sharing what little paper I had brought with me and was wondering what to do. Also, at the time, I didn't yet have my concealed carry permit. I told her to get the hell off the door and out of the bathroom. I can hear the dude trying to get her to leave, but she's not going. I'm still in the "middle" of my purge and cannot get up. She disappears, for a moment and then the latch begins wiggling again. Now she comes inside the stall with me. I go ballistic, spewing profanity and demanding she leave.  Her male companion, grabs her arm and pulls her out of the bathroom. By the time I had finally managed to take care of my business and regain my wits, I go looking for some revenge, but they were nowhere to be found. Some of the diners in the micky D's heard the commotion and were giggling about it when I came out of the restroom. I was PISSED!!!!!  I think they'd came from the bus terminal next door, but wasn't sure.... Weird, huh? What were you expecting? Siihpapp, perhaps?

ME!!! IT'S ALL ABOUT ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!LOL11!!11!!11!!!!

Back when we was young and dumb and full of piss and vinegar , a buddy had just got out of the Marines and we were riding backroads drinkin beer and doin a little spotlighting. We see this young buck running down the ditch between us and a game fence. My buddy slides out the window and pulls out his Ka-Bar , stands up on the passenger window seal and dives off the truck tackling this deer and cutting its throat. Needless to say we had backstrap for breakfast.

You wouldn't believe the attention whoring I see every day.  It's embarrassing.

usually for me if I bring up ghosts people think I'm not being truthful

My last company commander was Captain Sean P Dardeen. He was came to our company just after finishing a commercial for the Marines. He ran through a maze and fought an evil knight. It was weird watching the commercial then seeing him in the company office. This was early 1997, most people don't remember the commercial, believe me or both.

  We went to Cuba in 95 to guard refugee camps and Gloria Estefan sang a charity concert for the migrants. Me and a buddy were walking post in one of the camps when she drove by waving at all the Cubans. When she saw us she put her arm down and drove by. Shortly after that I was switched to the front gate. The front gate was also the access point to her stage, so everyone had to deal with us to get through even the Cief of Naval Operations. Well I'm not stupid the van full of civilians and instruments were definetly her back up band, but they had no pass. I got away with holding them for a half an hour (payback bitch), before my platoon commander found out. I paid dearly, and didn't regret one drop of sweat or once of pain.

Great story! I wasn't aware that she had a problem with the U.S. presence. Maybe she should seek citizenship there. I'm sure the Castro brothers would approve!

Originally Posted By ARsonist;
Turned a lipstick lesbian and dated her for years, nearly marrying her.

I'd like to hear more about that one. The incident I experienced happened a week ago,-Sunday. I took my 14 year old son fishing at a nearby river that's hatchery supported trout waters. We got a late start and I didn't even know if they'd put any fish in lately. There's a "swimming hole" in the bend of the river that is well out of view from the roadway nearby. You have to walk through a fence into a grassy pasture and follow an old roadbed into a wooded area where the river runs. Since we were the only ones there, he and I started fishing right in the swimming hole, as it was deep and since the water was up from all the rain, I didn't figure anyone had been swimming there for a while.  Two girls, both blondes, came walking up behind us. When I noticed them looking around I was going to reel in and tell them to go ahead and swim there and we'd move upstream a little bit, but they started going towards another part of the river before I could say anything. We cast a few more minutes when I noticed they were back, looking unsure of what they were going to do. I told them then and we chatted a couple of minutes about other fishing areas along the river. One girl looked to be in her mid 20's (she was wearing one of those one piece neoprene things that I often see jetskiers wearing) while the other looked closer to 20 or maybe even a little younger. They had a short legged dog with them and one of those old ratcheting fold out beach recliners that people lay in to get a suntan. After saying goodbye, I and my son moved upstream and dropped off the first path down the bank we came to. The area was only big enough for one fisherman, so I told him to take it and I'd move up to the next spot. Well, as I stood there fishing, I heard them playing in the water and their dog was barking a lot. I fished the spot a little while and noticed my son was getting hung up a lot. He wanted to move up where I was so I told him I'd help him tie on a new hook, as he'd broken his line and just cannot seem to remember the knot I've shown him several times. As I was walking back to help him, I saw the two girls in an embrace and deep kissing. The older one had unzipped and pulled down the top half of her neoprene wetsuit to her waist. I could see that she had some ink on her back. I don't know if they knew I was seeing them or if they were exhibitionists, but I knew I'd better get my son away from there before I had to do some explaining the situation to him. I tried to stay between him and the scene going on behind me so he wouldn't see what they were doing. Either he didn't see, or he just didn't say anything, but I got him further up river and we set up and resumed fishing. To be honest, curiosity got the best of me and after a little bit, I made up an excuse to go back downstream by myself to try a spot I'd missed. Well by then, they had both gotten on the one reclining chair. The younger one was hanging off the upper half of the chair facing the ground with her legs drawn up under her. She was more or less oblivious to me presence nearby and wasn't looking around, just at the ground. The older girls legs were toes up and she was obviously orally servicing the other one under a towel that was covering the lower half of the girl on top. I know it was wrong to stand there being a peeping Tom, but I just couldn't tear my eyes away from the scene. I finally felt a bit ashamed at myself and went back upstream to where my boy was fishing. After a while, they came walking by, going back to their vehicle, but I was embarrassed, not knowing if they'd seen me watching  or not, so I didn't speak to them as they walked by. I just didn't think that kind of thing went on in the country!!! I also told my wife I'd found a new favorite fishing spot, Heheh!

Pleasuring a man with a socked foot one time does not make me gay!!

DEAR PENTHOUSE FORUM...

thats hilarious!

I've got a few GREAT (And absolutely true) stories from my youth but (As your post implies), nobody (Except for a few good friends i've shared them with) WOULD believe me!

Got in an accident in Milwaukee where a father let his 8 year old daughter drive because he was too drunk to...

Incident made nationwide news and was even on SNL news.

I know exactly what you mean. A lot of what people don't believe about me has to do with firearms. Most stems from their lack of understanding of capability of same. Told one guy that I was hitting clay pigeons at 400 yards with my Steyr ssg. He said," how do you throw them that far?"

I've had this happen on a couple of occasions : I was walking through my woods ( couple hundred acres, middle of nowhere, perfectly sober) and SWEAR someone had their mouth inches from the back of my head and whispered my name. Real enough that I immediately turned and level my fal....no one there. The other two times was at night right before sleep. All in the same woods at about the same spot. Fuckin' Freaked Me Out.

Sorry, can't tell you.  If I did, I'd have no stories that only I know are true.

This

I almost ran over Steve Perry from Journey once with my car. I've posted it here before but don't remeber the thread.

when i was in high school in north carolina....... we had student bus drivers....... they would let seniors drive school buses, as a part time job.......... my bus driver would just slow down the bus to about 10 miles a hour and make this one kid jump off, and run in the morning to jump through the door of the moving bus.  people usually dont believe me when i tell them we had students driving buses.

+1

I will but of course you'd have to tell them first.

did you stop to talk about it, or did you just go your separate ways?



 

Just because you share them with us doesn't mean we have to believe a word of it!

saved for later..

I remember the student drivers also. We had a few wild rides to and from school sometimes...

One afternoon several years ago, I was on Casper Mountain, just south of my hometown of Casper, Wyoming, just wandering around and taking some pictures.  I was off the trail I was following by quite a ways and in deep timber.  I turned to head back to the trail and came upon a barbed wire fence.  The area it fenced in was no more than 40ft by 40ft and I could see almost all of it.  The easiest way back to the trail was over the fence, so I stepped over it.  As I turned around, I couldn't help but notice two rifles pointed at my head.  Two uniformed soldiers ordered me back over the fence, I climbed back over and when I turned back to apologize, there was nothing there but forest and a small fenced in area.

I've seen things you wouldn't believe...

Here is one that I will always remember:



I have a good buddy that works overseas as a contractor, he did the blackwater deal and now runs contracts through a company that he started.  I met him when I was in college and we became friends, did a lot of martial arts, working out, and shooting together.  At the time he worked for the DOD and was stationed with the GBI in GA.  He used to do some POST classes and such as well.  Former Ranger and sniper and this dude could and can flat out shoot a gun.



I was helping him train some guys one time and we were doing water borne stuff and one of the deputies talked about shooting some dude with his .45 that was easily 200 m away, maybe more.  He claimed he could do a head shot, we all laughed our asses off at him.  Fast forward two days and we are at the range with this same group of guys doing rifle work...anything from CQB to distance stuff, cannot remember what we were actually doing at the time.



So, there were some steel targets set at exactly 200 m.  One of his buddies had run out there during lunch an put it there to make his evil plan happen after lunch.  So we all get back and the guy that put the target out there tells they guy, "Hey xxxx, put your money where your mouth is asshole.  That is set at exactly 200 m, so now you know the distance and if you are such a badass you should be able to ding that thing shot after shot, its a lot bigger than a human head."



Well, you can't really back down from something like that i guess so this guy proceeds to send 6 or 7 mags down range without anything coming close.  We had a pretty good laugh but now he was pissed, so he starts issuing challenges and this makes us laugh even more.  He did make the mistake of calling out my pal, who if you know the type, does not and will not back down from a challenge.  So off he heads to the firing line with his G17.  He raises it, aiming God knows how high above the target and fires.  I remember seeing this guy open his mouth to start talking shit and right at that moment there was a very distinct ping sound from down range.  Everybody goes fucking nuts.



My buddy calmly walks back like it was nothing.  After we were done working with these guys and it was just the two of us i asked him WTF?  Figuring he had put the target out and practiced or something.  He was laughing his ass off and said it was the other guy, and he figured there was no way in hell he was going to hit anything especially with the first shot.  It was one of those priceless moments i will always remember.



To this day when i tell people this story, other shooters always call BS.

Had my dad bribe Egyptian cops from arresting us in front of the great pyramids on a day where some guy rented them so they were off limits to the public. Was led by my horse's  reigns away from the scene by a shotgun toting bedouin who wasn't even there in the vast sahara five seconds prior.

respond and I'll elaborate

TAGGAGE!!!

now that is crazy



 

My most recent story like this happened just a couple weeks ago.

I was at Newport on the Levee in Newport, Kentucky bullshitting with a friend of mine.  We were standing near some stairs (for those of you who are familiar with it, it's the set of stairs that comes up from the fountain area up toward Coldstone).  I see two girls walking up the stairs and one of them looks really familiar.  As she got closer, I knew that I knew her from somewhere but couldn't figure out from where.  We made eye contact as they walked by and as they entered the building it hit me.

It was Alison Angel.

I knew that she lives in the Cincinnati area, but never thought I'd actually see her.  No, I don't have pics, which is why I didn't post it to begin with.

I once stopped posting on ARFCOM long enough to leave my moms basement AND have sex with a girl

Blair witch.

Please elaborate.

PICS or it didn't happen.

Tag.  This could be good.

Please, do proceed!