Driving home Christmas night from my Dad's house I was on Hayden Rd. just north of McDowell Rd. in Scottsdale (AZ people info) and there was a friggin Duck walking across the Rd. and I was doing about 50 mph and in light traffic had a car next to me and could not swerve to avoid it and took it out dead on. My wife cried for like an hour. I was trying to be sensitive to the situation, but the whole time I'm thinking "What the hell is a Duck doing crossing the road at night around 10:00pm??" Just my luck....now I'm a duck killer...



John

LOL
Thx for that late night laugh. For a few days, I was once a "coon killer." Not long ago I inadvertantly took out 2 baby coons with the car. I was not about to serve over the center line to the uncoming car.  I did'nt want to run them over. There was too many, if I avioded one I was pointed an another. I found the best looking path to avoid them and I ended up hearing thumps.
After my girlfriend started the "AWWWWWW...." sobbing and "did you have to hit them, are they OK? We should turn around".  I probably sound cruel here but; I was getting so pissed I was about to turn around and finish the rest off.

It was trying to get to the other side.

The strange thing was that the nearest park (body of water) was a good mile away! This duck was crossing the street in a residential area, it still blows my mind on what it was doing there.....



John

I had a '78 camaro with redneck 'chrome' traction bars hanging off the rear axle, and cornholed a rabbit at about 60 MPH in the dark on the way home from work.  I thought it was gonna take my axle off.

next morning on the way back to work saw the damage, left a good 5-7 foot tear drop shaped splat on the roadway and (once i got to work) realized that bunny parts plugged the hollow traction bar.  It was a dried nasty mess when I finally got home to get it cleaned out.

wannabe

"quack... quack... QUAAAAAACK!"  

No, its
"quack... quack... QUAAAAAACK!, AFLAC!!!"  

I was looking over there.

THESE are better!
[img]http://www.imagestation.com/picture/sraid28/pb168d0dc753f4a19bb46182aedea8066/fe0298dc.jpg[/img]

[img]http://www.imagestation.com/picture/sraid28/p95f055431cba37fb613d0afbc245469a/fe029c6b.jpg[/img]

So it's 1973 and I'm rolling from Dallas to Austin to hear BW Stevenson and Willie play Armadillo World Headquarters.  Riding the one and only Jap bike I will ever own, a Suzuki GT750 water buffalo.  It's been light for an hour, Interstate 35 is deserted and I'm running about 90.

Up ahead a few hundred yards I make out a bird in the road.  Bird sits there.  Jap bike don't make much noise.  Bird ain't moving.  Close the distance to maybe 50 yards, bird finally notices something's coming its way and decides to leisurely wing it out of there.

Cool, the birds gonna cross my lane with room to spare.  Then the feathered f*ckup made a sharp right turn and is now 20 yards ahead travelling the same direction I am in my lane but maybe 80 mph slower.

Time enough to say GOD*MN! duck my head and take the bird head-on.  As luck would have it I was wearing my beanie that morning.  One H#LL of a SLAP on top of my head.  Saw little stars.  The concussion wore off in a second or two.  Senses return and a quick glance in the mirrors shows no bird behind me.  I'm still rolling about 90.  Where's that damned bird??  Looking, looking...after what seems like a minute this black object falls STRAIGHT DOWN out of the sky into the middle of the road behind me.

Musta knocked that bird a hundred yards straight up in the air.  If I'd been straight too it would'a killed me.

Who says helmets don't save lives, huh?

Some animals just seem to be suicidal.  A few years ago, a family in the neighborhood bought a little bulldog puppy.  This pup was fearless, and would go for anything that moved.  Kids up and down the street were getting bike tires chewed up, and so on.

One Monday morning, I took the street in the direction of the home where the dog lived, instead of my usual path to work, and here came the fool dog! He was doing his best to take a bite of the left front tire, and as I swerved away, and hit the curb he made it to the front side of the tire and made his attack.  Thump, thump! 3700 lbs of Ford pickup. Didn't damage the wheel or tires, but the dog is toast.

Told the dogs owner, and he told the kids the dog ran away, and put up signs with color pictures "Have you seen this dog?"  Felt guilty at first, but not much I could do anyway.  He came by later and said he was glad it happened before someone sued him for little Janey getting chewed on.

I decided not to ask why he didn't have the dog in his quarter-acre fenced backyard, or on a leash...

Are you sure this isn't a picture taken in Afghanistan?  It could be all that is left of Osama.  Watch-Six

Like Arock, I was cruising on my Honda when I hit something on the right footpeg.  turned around and found that it was a hawk.  Damndest thing.  Couple of years ago I was doing about 80 on the Harley when a big turkey just popped out of nowhere and stood in the middle of the road, probably wondering if I would hit it.  The desire wasn't there.  Lastly, there is this psycho dog down the street from me that waits til I come by, then hauls ass to get in front of my tires.  Dogs are stupid.

If you hit a javalina, you have to repair your vehicle.But its mmm.mmm.good!

LMAO!! and those are the tame ones. Those other couple of pictures are funny as hell!

Ok here's mine. I was on my way home from college one spring day on a narrow two lane state highway. Running about 90 with the windows down on a 75 Camaro. Remember those pointed outside mirrors GM used in the 70's? Do you know what one of those will do to a field lark at 90mph? I was covered in feathers and bird guts, it took all weekend and almost a whole case of beer to get the inside of the car clean again.[;)]

That's funny.  Well, not really, but it is.

You know how stupid a turtle dove in the middle of the road is? Well two of them are 5 times as stupid.

The ex-, the kid and I were on the way to a funeral in my '70 Mustang doing about 65mph. We came over a hill and there were two of these stupid creatures in the middle of my lane. And like all turtle doves they wait until the last moment to fly off. Only these two idiots were waiting for the other to make the first move.

Both of them went straight through the plastic grill and exploded against the radiator. I pulled over, shut off the engine and commenced to plucking feathers out of the radiator. IN my suit.

Ex- was pissed 'caused [b]I[/b] killed the poor birds. Womenz [rolleyes].   Sheeze.

When I was little, the family took a trip through West Virginia.  Dad was doing probably 60-70 at night on a two lane road.  Mom complains that he should slow down.  Dad says it's not problem I grew up here.  WHUMP!!!!!  Something carroms off the windshield.  My brother and I turned around to see a Bat flop onto the road behind us.  Oops.  Dad Slowed down.

Around my area is a neat strip called Bailey Road.  it's darn fun to drive, windy and ends in a long downhill you can get some nice speed on.  One day near dusk, I'm cruising down the hill at my usual (excessive) speed.  Suddenly from the brush ahead of me on the right side, a few birds take off right across the road.  The last one hits my hood, and smacks off of it into the windshield leaving feathers all over.  
A few weeks later, I'm crusing down the same strip again, this time in the middle of the day.  I get near the bottom of the hill, and a cute little squirrel runs out into the road.  I swerve to try and miss him.  This was not too be.  I feel the thump and see something flying past my passenger window at high speed.  Took a while to wash the remains off.  

My personal favorite was 2 skunks in one night!  Not for the smell, though....yuck.  Driving home from dinner with the then girlfriend, up an empty stretch of divided road.  I think I see somthing moving off to the side a ways up, but ignore it for the time being.  Sure enough, as I get closer, this skunk takes off from the median for the far side of the road.  There's about zero chance I'm going to miss him, so I just hold it straight and hope he doesn't break anything on my car.  A crunchy/splat sound happens, and there's #1.  It smells a couple of minutes later, which of course isn't so nice.  15 minutes later, I turn up the road to our apartment.  I start rolling and see a skunk trying to cross the road.  My car already stinks, so I think, "What the Hell..." and step on it.  
Alas, I merely got his tail somehow (it was in the street the next day).  But the story isn't over yet.  Skunk hightails it (he he) for a hiding place to lick his wounds.  We drive the block or so home and park and go in.  

Later than night, I'm trotting down the stairs to my apartment and happen to look down in the street to see a skunk crawl under my car.  I pause to watch where he's going.  A car is coming up the road, so he's waiting under my car to play chicken with this guy too.  Of course, he waits waaayyyy to long, and runs out right under the front passenger side tire.  Splat!!!!  
I sort of giggle and go to call animal control, again.  They can't come till the morning as they are busy (probably getting the other skunk).  Next morning I go down to inspect what's up.  Skunks, like most mammals, have a hole in their posterior.  This can be problematic when a good deal of their insides are pushed out of them, and you car is right behind the posterior of said skunk.  Through the night several other folks had driven over the now mostly flat critter, adding to the mess on the side of my car.  

Three washes and a couple of foams later, my car still smelled.  On the bright side no one parked next to me at work [:)]
I've since moved onto a new car and haven't yet gotten any roadkill with the new one.  

Man you guys bring back memories.  Got another one from college days in Texas...  It's like 1971 and I'm doin' time at Longhorn High in Austin.  One of my drinking buddies is a girl from West Texas.  Her family has a BIG ranch over on the Rio Grande north of Del Rio and a group of us go over there to "border party".

One thing West Texas has a bunch of is turkey buzzards.  Ugly f*ckers.  Move slow.  Eat dead stuff.  So we're headed back for Austin in her Chrysler named Satan, cause it bit a chunk out of the Catholic church on campus one night.  Doin' about 90 between Comstock and Del Rio.  Come round a curve and here's a bunch of buzzards enjoying some highway hash.  She's on the brakes hard and buzzards are turning the sky black in front of us.

Buzzards have one protective reaction when they're scared.  They will puke their guts out on you.

So this one buttugly buzzard can't move fast enough to keep from getting scared.  It's about three feet over the top of Satan when we go underneath at about 60.  We were crawling for the floorboards when we heard something hit the windshield.

The five of us look up and what presents but a windshield covered with buzzard puke.

About a nanosecond later the smell hit.

It was mid-winter but we traveled those last twenty miles with our heads hung as far out the windows as possible and still could barely breathe.  Get to Del Rio and pull into a gas station to get a couple dollars gas and a clean windshield.  The pump jockeys take one look at Satan's windshield and won't even come outside.  This ain't their first rodeo.

I will NEVER forget the stench of getting that semi-warm, semi-frozen cr@p off.  The girls were doubled up laughing at us.  Should'a made them lick it off.  Only thing that made that trip worthwhile was when her favorite ranch hound got so excited to see her back it pee'd on her.

Some time I'll tell you about Satan and the Great Goat Slaughter.

Arock, LMFAO!!!![}:D]

You just got to hit them with a bigger vehicle. I have hit several with my Bronco with no damage other than having to pull hair out of the wheel weights and bumper guards.
I hit a big jack rabbit one night at about 95 in a Toyota Celica. Had to replace the turn signal lense($65), had to repair the air dam underneath, and clean the blood and fur off the windshield. I was surprised the car didn't disintegrate like I was afraid it would.[:)]