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Posted: 3/29/2006 2:21:06 AM EDT
[#1]
right before they toss a flashbang at your feet.
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Posted: 3/29/2006 2:38:07 AM EDT
[#2]
Then I notice it's not a flashbang, but an egg of silly putty filled with blackjacks... |
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Posted: 3/29/2006 4:10:30 AM EDT
[#3]
That sould be a egg of "toys" they wish to use on them selves complete with 2/3 off coupons to your fav. ammo suppliers and a coupon for a free M14 stamp included.
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Posted: 3/29/2006 4:11:18 AM EDT
[#4]
Oh BTW I used "EGG"
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Posted: 3/29/2006 4:12:42 AM EDT
[#5]
So I picked it up and gave a Chuck Norris rendition of a roundhouse kick to their belt buckles to make their pants fall off so I could stick in their poopers and take pics for posting. |
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Posted: 3/29/2006 4:14:13 AM EDT
[#6]
Then I tried to ask them what they were doing, but before I could Napoleon_Tanerite had already asked them 8 times.
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Posted: 3/29/2006 4:14:49 AM EDT
[#7]
tag for the stories to come.
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Posted: 3/29/2006 4:16:04 AM EDT
[#8]
Did I say 8 times? I MEANT to say 87 times! |
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Posted: 3/29/2006 4:18:48 AM EDT
[#9]
Then a zombie tried to break into your house and eat the brains of the hot ATF chicks, but you being super tactical pulled out your
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Posted: 3/29/2006 4:20:49 AM EDT
[#10]
Without warning, the night became dark and stormy. I could tell by their pouty lips that they were offended that I had not invited them in for hot chocolate and a game of Twister. Soon we were tangled on the floor laughing like pyromaniacs at a Hindu funeral. Then the tall one turned to me and said...
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Posted: 3/29/2006 4:20:59 AM EDT
[#11]
Then I did "something", afterwhich I posted pics.
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Posted: 3/29/2006 4:21:33 AM EDT
[#12]
...An ARFCOMer was outside critiquing every move and was rolling his eyes because he would have done the entry differently....
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Posted: 3/29/2006 4:22:02 AM EDT
[#13]
I offered to let them clean my guns and pose for a BOTD shot which was declared greatest in ARFCOM history!
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Posted: 3/29/2006 4:24:06 AM EDT
[#14]
After I posted the pics, someone "of a different sexual orientation" asked, "How am I supposed to masturbate to this thread?"
(Going off The_Reaper's post) |
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Posted: 3/29/2006 4:38:07 AM EDT
[#15]
Then got up from my chair to pour myself a double whisky
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Posted: 3/29/2006 4:40:21 AM EDT
[#16]
But the two lovely ATF agents wouldn't stop begging me for more hot lovin, at which time I ordered them to go make me a sammich and thought "I like the new kinder, gentler BATFE!".
Suddenly...... |
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Posted: 3/29/2006 4:41:18 AM EDT
[#17]
They pulled out Glocks from "hidden" holsters....
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Posted: 3/29/2006 4:43:20 AM EDT
[#18]
At which point I thought "You should never trust a woman who wears a tactical thigh holster during sex."
So then..... |
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Posted: 3/29/2006 4:44:56 AM EDT
[#19]
The hot chick on the right fires and her Glock KB's killing the other armed ATF chick. SO I then proceed to.......
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Posted: 3/29/2006 4:50:43 AM EDT
[#20]
do the Hokie Pokie |
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Posted: 3/29/2006 4:53:03 AM EDT
[#21]
I had fininshed putting my right leg in and shaking it all about, and was in the process of turning myself around when I discovered that....
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Posted: 3/29/2006 4:55:10 AM EDT
[#22]
I need to write a range report.
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Posted: 3/29/2006 5:05:13 AM EDT
[#23]
After thinking about things I decided to head to the local carwash and you will never guess what happened.....I
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Posted: 3/29/2006 5:09:20 AM EDT
[#24]
saw Stacy Clinton was there washing her car...topless!!
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Posted: 3/29/2006 5:11:58 AM EDT
[#25]
drew down simultaneously on three different panhandlers, until one turned out to be the legendary Squatdog, who immediately dropped me like a sack of dirt, using his fool-proof fighting move, THE FULL POWER SHOT!
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Posted: 3/29/2006 5:14:39 AM EDT
[#26]
At which point they showered me with mint $200 transfer tax stamps and told me if I needed more to just call anytime....
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Posted: 3/29/2006 5:20:17 AM EDT
[#27]
But, Oh noes! They were fakes! Suddenly an ATF agent came and gifted me with a new puppy...and then promptly shot it. I knew what I had to do, so I... |
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Posted: 3/29/2006 5:21:33 AM EDT
[#28]
started a thread on a famous website and asked what the Hive Mind thought I should do and they said......
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Posted: 3/29/2006 5:23:32 AM EDT
[#29]
"Find the actual gun Al Pacino used in "Heat" and you won't be banned"
So off I went to...... |
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Posted: 3/29/2006 5:32:32 AM EDT
[#30]
take a shit but could only pull the undigested onion rings out of my ass . 688 |
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Posted: 3/29/2006 5:41:59 AM EDT
[#31]
Well that was a rather unpleasent experience. Tired from my grueling toilet ordeal I decided to take a walk to the park and I managed to walk right into some sort of pep rally. I couldn't undestand what they were saying because I don't speak spanish but the sign said
 So I decided to....... |
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Posted: 3/29/2006 5:50:27 AM EDT
[#32]
Call in an air strike.
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Posted: 3/29/2006 5:54:38 AM EDT
[#33]
Unfortunately, there was an ARFCOM'er at Air Strike dispatch. He asked what type of plane I wanted, what type of bombs I wanted on it, and then proceeded to debate the plane's chances versus every plane in the Russian fleet from 1950 until now. Knowing that my airstrike was never going to show up, I knew I had to do something drastic. So I hopped on my tacticell phone and called... |
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Posted: 3/29/2006 5:55:40 AM EDT
[#34]
Goatboy |
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Posted: 3/29/2006 5:56:16 AM EDT
[#35]
tag for story
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Posted: 3/29/2006 6:00:44 AM EDT
[#36]
ring....ring...ring...DAMN Goatboy isn't home. "WTF do I do now" I thought to myself. Just then in hit me.............
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Posted: 3/29/2006 6:07:34 AM EDT
[#37]
I decided to start
 the people on thier  but then I ran out 168gr Sierra Match BTHP Federal's and had to switch to my uber tactical glock long side, but as I threw away my 700 the dead started to arise.....
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Posted: 3/29/2006 6:09:31 AM EDT
[#38]
 Zombies! But of what type?I pulled out my zombie ID manual. Magically reanimated? No. Diseased? No. Space dust zombies? No. Not those either. What sort of zombies could these be, and would my BLACK TALON's of FURY stop them?? |
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Posted: 3/29/2006 6:42:52 AM EDT
[#39]
They were evil beaner type Zombies...if you didn't blow both feet off they would just come back after you deported them to hell.
Of crap...wait...whats this? |
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Posted: 3/29/2006 6:46:49 AM EDT
[#40]
it's an M60 with 1,000 rounds of ammo |
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Posted: 3/29/2006 6:54:04 AM EDT
[#41]
With a sqeal of glee, I quickly loaded the M60 with the belt of ammunition and opened fire on the Zombie crowd. As the barrel began to change color, I....
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Posted: 3/29/2006 6:55:57 AM EDT
[#42]
...thought to myself, "Self, this M60 has a lot of recoil. Too bad it isn't a Shrike." Fortunately, I'd managed to finish off the last of the zombies, and thus, decided to take a pie break. |
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Posted: 3/29/2006 6:59:30 AM EDT
[#43]
and while enjoying my pie, i had a thought....
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Posted: 3/29/2006 7:01:16 AM EDT
[#44]
"I sure do like pie" |
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Posted: 3/29/2006 7:02:55 AM EDT
[#45]
Then I had a second helping of pie.
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Posted: 3/29/2006 7:04:17 AM EDT
[#46]
But a fellow can only eat so much pie before he becomes a rediculous fatbody, so I decided to...
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Posted: 3/29/2006 7:06:27 AM EDT
[#47]
....Wow, that lasted all of ten seconds, I had better post pics of it on ARFCOM....but alas I didn't take any and now I am going to get.....
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Posted: 3/29/2006 7:07:04 AM EDT
[#48]
Run while eating my my pie. Oh no a pot hole my 5.11 boots couldn't handle...the last thing i saw before being transported to.....
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Posted: 3/29/2006 7:12:08 AM EDT
[#49]
...St. Judes Institution for the Firearm and Pie addicted.... |
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Posted: 3/29/2006 7:12:32 AM EDT
[#50]
Prison for wearing "assualt" boots in public without a permit. OH SCHNAPP!!!I said. While contemplating a way to gaurd my A hole effectively I was .............
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