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Posted: 3/23/2006 4:10:25 PM EDT
[#1]
Stop peeing. No pain.
Why do you guys always look for the more difficult solutions. (nearly said hardest but some guys might misunderstand that) |
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Posted: 3/23/2006 4:12:19 PM EDT
[#2]
OK guys its really hard for a dude to get a UTI, let alone from a inanimate object. Unless you are putting your dick into the urinal and swirling it around you didnt get it from the toilet. You got it for your skank girlfriend or fucking your buddy up the ass.
Stick to your story but if you tell that to any doctor, they will write closet homosexual or liar in your chart. |
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Posted: 3/23/2006 4:13:32 PM EDT
[#3]
I read a story, here at arfcom, about a guy who had a foley catheter (it stays in you for as long as needed, days, or weeks) and he masturbated to orgasm with the catheter in place.
The semen in that case goes AROUND the catheter while urine goes THROUGH it due to the way that your plumbing works. The semen dried and glued the catheter in, making for an excruciatingly painful removal. If you have a tip pain, first look to see if there's a mousetrap or small animal latched on. Remove it carefully if so. CJ |
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Posted: 3/23/2006 4:14:08 PM EDT
[#4]
This is always a great place to get medical opinions.
 ______________________________  |
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Posted: 3/23/2006 4:16:28 PM EDT
[#5]
You are supposed to shake the last few drops off, not wring it out.
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Posted: 3/23/2006 4:19:22 PM EDT
[#6]
 OUCH, damn that hurts just reading about that....
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Posted: 3/23/2006 4:19:57 PM EDT
[#7]
yah i was put under for a jaw op, took longer then expected, had a UTI the next day... hurt like hell... and my jaw was wired shut so i had to grind up the pills and try and gag em down 
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Posted: 3/23/2006 4:20:00 PM EDT
[#8]
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Posted: 3/23/2006 4:21:15 PM EDT
[#9]
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Posted: 3/23/2006 4:21:24 PM EDT
[#10]
"PURPLE HEADED MUTTON DAGGER!!!"
Sorry, I heard that on Imus this morning (Jack Nickolson), and just busted up. He also talked about "Taking the beef bus to tunaland" Go to urgent care ASAP. |
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Posted: 3/23/2006 4:24:30 PM EDT
[#11]
Right. Here is an example Ok. My name is Steven and about a few months ago, I receieved oral sex from an unknown partner. Later on after this I got a few pimple/blister like bumps on my Penis And the top of my nutsack by my pubic hair. After awhile the bumps went away and came back maybe once more after that. My Meatus I guess you call it has a little red bump on it And tends to feel pain once in awhile. It doesnt hurt when I pee. But sometimes my testiculs feel swollen and hurt a little when I adjust them. I have minor itchin problems. I recently came down with a chest cold and now I have a rash that is apprearing on my face. It looks like a allergic reaction but under my eyelids I a little white bump on each one. I am to scared to go to a doctor and I am very afriad of causing my wife to have these sympthoms also. Please help me..I feel like my life is over.and I am way to afraid to tell my wife about this for the sake of her leaving me with our daughter..please help... Steven! Whats their advice? See a doctor! 
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Posted: 3/23/2006 4:38:01 PM EDT
[#12]
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Posted: 3/23/2006 4:38:50 PM EDT
[#13]
This reminds me. When I was a resident a local LEO came to the ER on a run. After we took care of business, the LEO goes, doc can I talk to you in private?
Doc, it burns like a bitch when I pee! I was with some skank over the weekend. OK, take this twice a day for the next 5 days. Thanks Doc. Did I mention I never got another ticket in town? 
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Posted: 3/23/2006 4:52:27 PM EDT
[#14]
What is the diagnosis likely to be for Steven the Moron?
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Posted: 3/23/2006 5:02:59 PM EDT
[#15]
It could be worse, I woke up Sunday to get my son out of his crib and took a detour to the bathroom. I had to do a double take because it looked like I opened a vein. After turning my toilet into a punch bowl my wife rush me to the E.R.
The next few hours were fill with urine tests, a cathetor (Yes, I screamed like a little girl  ) X-Rays and a floroscope. Then after all that it hurt to piss for a day and a half.  Doctor believed it was a broken vessel in my bladder. |
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Posted: 3/23/2006 5:08:32 PM EDT
[#16]
Watch out he may taze you! 
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Posted: 3/23/2006 5:10:26 PM EDT
[#17]
A little soap in the blow hole causes painful urination...
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Posted: 3/23/2006 5:10:31 PM EDT
[#18]
chlamydia (sp?)
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Posted: 3/23/2006 5:14:36 PM EDT
[#19]
I had the same thing happen to me a few years back.
It was prostatitis....not an STD. Go see a doc. I waited until I was peeing blood. Not too smart in retrospect. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prostatitis |
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Posted: 3/23/2006 5:31:09 PM EDT
[#20]
Back in the 60's I got all hot and bothered with this hippie chick. She begged me to get her off with my right big toe. I thought it a bit wierd, but in those days, what the hell, so I did. She got off, and I didn't. A few days later my right big toe started to hurt and swell up, so I went to the clinic. The doc there did some tests, looked me in the eye, and said "you're big toe has Gonorrea"!! I said " damn Doc, ain't that a bit strange?" He laughed and said: "Not as strange as the young lady I had in here earlier with Atheletes Vigina!"!!!!!!! (Serious shit here!)!!!!!!!
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Posted: 3/23/2006 5:42:59 PM EDT
[#21]
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Posted: 3/24/2006 7:24:14 AM EDT
[#22]
 I've heard at the Brady Campaign they pay someone to monitor us here. It brings me great please thinking of that person reading this! 
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Posted: 3/24/2006 7:51:23 AM EDT
[#23]
Yup...dead man walking. Send me all your guns for safekeeping! 
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Posted: 3/24/2006 7:53:28 AM EDT
[#24]
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Posted: 3/24/2006 7:55:25 AM EDT
[#25]
So hows the amputation coming?
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Posted: 3/24/2006 7:56:07 AM EDT
[#26]
That's cruel and unusual punishment. |
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Posted: 3/24/2006 8:15:19 AM EDT
[#27]
Amputation!!!
Actually I've had a burning sensation since 1996... I put up with it until I pissed blood, went to a MD the next day and ran some tests - Came back negative for STDs. He said it was likely a UTI, gave me some meds and sent me on my way. It went away a few days later. Funny thing is it started again some time later... It's always been off and on. I read up on it (online) and it seems other people have this sort of problem and certain fruits cause it. After reading that I started paying attention to what fruits I consumed. I can't drink apple juice because the next piss I take will burn and it may last for a few days. Sometimes it just feels like I really have to piss and I'm holding it in but, nothing comes out, (barely anything). If it's not an STD you will learn to live with it. 
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Posted: 3/24/2006 8:17:14 AM EDT
[#28]
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Posted: 3/24/2006 8:17:29 AM EDT
[#29]
Then don't pee!
It's true! I "seen it once in a movie!" Seriously though, I think it's much easier to get something from "oral." The human mouth is a virtual hotbed of germs.  Hessian-1 disclaimer: I am not a Dr. nor do I play one on TV or the internet, but it makes sense to me! |
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Posted: 3/24/2006 8:18:40 AM EDT
[#30]
how the hell did we miss this
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