Why aren't there any supervillians in real life?

Site Notices

[ARCHIVED THREAD] - Why aren't there any supervillians in real life? (Page 1 of 2)

Posted: 3/22/2006 7:53:15 PM EDT

The closest thing out there is Osama, and he's pretty pathetic these days. Cowering in a cave while his idiot henchmen get slaughtered by the thousand. I'm not exactly shaking in terror...

Why isn't there a crazy Chinese doctor concocting mad schemes to dominate the world or a guy who had his finger replaced by a gold prosthethic trying to corner the world's gold market?

Granted, it is hard to sneak these things past the governments of the world. Also, the market for henchmen isn't as good as in the movies. Either you hire them, in which case they'll betray you to whoever pays them more, or you depend on their zeal. In the latter case, you're dependent on toothless, racist inbreeders or backwards savages that still wipe their butts with their bare hands.

Still, out of 6 billion + people on earth, there has to be one or two that are both smart enough and evil enough to build an evil organization and concoct an incredibly complex and devious scheme for world domination. And to do it with some flair, including a trademark characteristic and maybe a sidekick with metal teeth.

So the question is, why haven't they tried yet?

Posted: 3/22/2006 7:55:31 PM EDT

[#1]

What, Sarah Brady and her semi-retarded husband don't count?

Posted: 3/22/2006 7:56:56 PM EDT

[#2]

If they tried the Reptillians would shut their operations down real quick

Posted: 3/22/2006 7:57:18 PM EDT

[#3]

Somewhere in the world, they've got to exist...

Posted: 3/22/2006 7:59:08 PM EDT

[#4]

I'm working on it. Want to help sponser me?

Posted: 3/22/2006 7:59:18 PM EDT

[#5]

I'm workin on it, dude. I just gotta find some sharks with frickin laser beams on their heads.

Posted: 3/22/2006 8:04:02 PM EDT

[#6]

Dammit, I'm doing the best I can... be patient!

Posted: 3/22/2006 8:05:59 PM EDT

[#7]

Not that I'm wearing a tinfoil hat, or anything...

But, what makes you so sure super-villians don't exist? I just don't think they're media hounds...

Posted: 3/22/2006 8:07:35 PM EDT

[#8]

George Soros

Posted: 3/22/2006 8:08:03 PM EDT

[#9]

.. Because of www.mcso.org/

Posted: 3/22/2006 8:08:37 PM EDT

[#10]

Frodo Failed

Posted: 3/22/2006 8:08:42 PM EDT

[#11]

Where have you been? I can think of a bunch of evil overlords… Saddam Hussein qualifies, you already mentioned Bin Laden. There’s also George Soros and that Kim Jong Ill asshole in North Korea. Have you seen “Team America?” The real Kim Jong Ill is much crazier than that.

All those drugs coming into the country aren’t just being brought back by Central American tourists with some extra space in their bags. Some real evil men are working behind the scenes to make that happen.

Remember that billionaire who tried to corner the silver market? (Nelson Bunker Hunt, I believe) I think he qualifies.

There are countless supervillians out there but they are either world leaders (The UN is full of evil), leaders of legitimate sounding groups, Corporate heads, politicians, or organized criminals.

But they don’t (usually) go around advertising their evil.

Posted: 3/22/2006 8:09:22 PM EDT

[#12]

George Sorros

ETA: Damm, I didn't even read any answers and this was the first thing that popped into my head.

Posted: 3/22/2006 8:10:37 PM EDT

[#13]

George Bush is the king of the super villians.... just ask a libtard

Posted: 3/22/2006 8:12:23 PM EDT

[#14]

What about Mr. Glass?

Posted: 3/22/2006 8:15:27 PM EDT

[#15]

Drug warlords, slave traders, dictators...

I'd say the world has a full slate of supervillans.

Posted: 3/22/2006 8:22:49 PM EDT

[#16]

Quoted:
www.spokaneyoungdems.org/archives/Evil%20Bush.JPG

Frodo Failed

That is actually pretty funny.

Posted: 3/22/2006 8:24:39 PM EDT

[#17]

No doubt there are evil people in the world. Evil is only part of the picture. What I'm asking is where is the flair? Where are the henchmen with metal teeth? Where are the overly complex and grandiose plans? The little things that make a regular old villian achieve "super" status.

Hell, doesn't anyone take any joy in their work anymore? When is the last time you saw a drug dealer or dictator with a gold prosthetic finger?

Posted: 3/22/2006 8:26:49 PM EDT

[#18]

Quoted:
Drug warlords, slave traders, dictators...

I'd say the world has a full slate of supervillans.

Well, I wouldn't exactly call them super. Something like Lex Luthor would fit, but to qualify he/she would have to be the type to spend millions on a robot that is then used to steal thousands from a bank vault, then get it wrecked by my son. Say, Kal, what are you doing these days?

Posted: 3/22/2006 8:26:51 PM EDT

[#19]

I dunno. Very few people have that much time on their hands.

I wish I did.

Posted: 3/22/2006 8:28:38 PM EDT

[#20]

Quoted:
I dunno. Very few people have that much time on their hands.

I wish I did.

But then you would have to wear a mask and tight fitting, yet colorful spandex.

Posted: 3/22/2006 8:30:09 PM EDT

[#21]

Posted: 3/22/2006 8:31:50 PM EDT

[#22]

Dr. Khan, Kim Jong-Il, Victor Bout (the inspiration for the main character of Lord of War), Charles Taylor, Hugo Chavez.

Maybe not super-villains, but close to James Bond villains.

Posted: 3/22/2006 8:32:00 PM EDT

[#23]

Because it's real life, not a comic book.

And do you really think the GOV would ever let out any super secret information if there was such a super villian.

Maybe there have been and we just don't know or remember

Posted: 3/22/2006 8:35:06 PM EDT

[#24]

Quoted:
The closest thing out there is Osama, and he's pretty pathetic these days. Cowering in a cave while his idiot henchmen get slaughtered by the thousand. I'm not exactly shaking in terror...

Why isn't there a crazy Chinese doctor concocting mad schemes to dominate the world or a guy who had his finger replaced by a gold prosthethic trying to corner the world's gold market?

Granted, it is hard to sneak these things past the governments of the world. Also, the market for henchmen isn't as good as in the movies. Either you hire them, in which case they'll betray you to whoever pays them more, or you depend on their zeal. In the latter case, you're dependent on toothless, racist inbreeders or backwards savages that still wipe their butts with their bare hands.

Still, out of 6 billion + people on earth, there has to be one or two that are both smart enough and evil enough to build an evil organization and concoct an incredibly complex and devious scheme for world domination. And to do it with some flair, including a trademark characteristic and maybe a sidekick with metal teeth.

So the question is, why haven't they tried yet?

I've been working on it for years...seriously. No one ever believes the serious ones though, cause they think they are playing around.

-Ben

Posted: 3/22/2006 8:43:22 PM EDT

[#25]

Quoted:

I've been working on it for years...seriously. No one ever believes the serious ones though, cause they think they are playing around.

-Ben

yah me too, only problem is finding trustworthy evil henchmen, any voulunteers?

Posted: 3/22/2006 8:44:19 PM EDT

[#26]

Quoted:
Quoted:

I've been working on it for years...seriously. No one ever believes the serious ones though, cause they think they are playing around.

-Ben

yah me too, only problem is finding trustworthy evil henchmen, any voulunteers?

henchmen can't shoot for shit in their patent leather jump suits with motorcycle helmet

Posted: 3/22/2006 8:45:48 PM EDT

[#27]

www.eviloverlord.com/

Posted: 3/22/2006 8:46:55 PM EDT

[#28]

Quoted:
Quoted:

I've been working on it for years...seriously. No one ever believes the serious ones though, cause they think they are playing around.

-Ben

yah me too, only problem is finding trustworthy evil henchmen, any voulunteers?

I'll be a lacky!

Posted: 3/22/2006 8:47:14 PM EDT

[#29]

Quoted:
No doubt there are evil people in the world. Evil is only part of the picture. What I'm asking is where is the flair? Where are the henchmen with metal teeth? Where are the overly complex and grandiose plans? The little things that make a regular old villian achieve "super" status.

Hell, doesn't anyone take any joy in their work anymore? When is the last time you saw a drug dealer or dictator with a gold prosthetic finger?

Saddam hired a Canadian rocket scientist to build him a big-ass cannon to shoot rounds all the way to Israel. The plot failed when the Canuck was assassinated by the Mossad. (I mean, that's a plotline Tom Clancy and Ian Fleming would be hard-pressed to beat).

Saddam bombed his own people with vile nerve agents originally developed by the Nazis.

Saddam was so devious, his own generals believed he had WMD. As the American invasion loomed, these commanders were shocked to learn this wasn't the case.

Saddam tried to arrange the assassination of a former U.S. president, by contracting with alcohol smugglers in the dusty desert country of Kuwait. I mean, that's an absurdity Le Carre couldn't write.

Ever seen the inside of one of Saddam's palaces? The grandiosity, opulence, and egomania these places represent would put any Bond villain to shame.

Saddam's son, Uday, used to feed people to lions. Feed people to LIONS, fer chrissakes!

I think Saddam and his sick regime put any Hollywood "supervillain" to shame, actually.

Posted: 3/22/2006 8:47:33 PM EDT

[#30]

Quoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:

I've been working on it for years...seriously. No one ever believes the serious ones though, cause they think they are playing around.

-Ben

yah me too, only problem is finding trustworthy evil henchmen, any voulunteers?

henchmen can't shoot for shit in their patent leather jump suits with motorcycle helmet

See...no one takes me serious. It is like they are killing my reputation before I have even melted both polar ice caps.

-Ben

Posted: 3/22/2006 8:51:47 PM EDT

[#31]

Quoted:
Quoted:
No doubt there are evil people in the world. Evil is only part of the picture. What I'm asking is where is the flair? Where are the henchmen with metal teeth? Where are the overly complex and grandiose plans? The little things that make a regular old villian achieve "super" status.

Hell, doesn't anyone take any joy in their work anymore? When is the last time you saw a drug dealer or dictator with a gold prosthetic finger?

Saddam hired a Canadian rocket scientist to build him a big-ass cannon to shoot rounds all the way to Israel. The plot failed when the Canuck was assassinated by the Mossad. (I mean, that's a plotline Tom Clancy and Ian Fleming would be hard-pressed to beat).

Saddam bombed his own people with vile nerve agents originally developed by the Nazis.

Saddam was so devious, his own generals believed he had WMD. As the American invasion loomed, these commanders were shocked to learn this wasn't the case.

Saddam tried to arrange the assassination of a former U.S. president, by contracting with alcohol smugglers in the dusty desert country of Kuwait. I mean, that's an absurdity Le Carre couldn't write.

Ever seen the inside of one of Saddam's palaces? The grandiosity, opulence, and egomania these places represent would put any Bond villain to shame.

Saddam's son, Uday, used to feed people to lions. Feed people to LIONS, fer chrissakes!

I think Saddam and his sick regime put any Hollywood "supervillain" to shame, actually.

Good answer!

I think the Canuck's name was Ball?

ETA: No it's Bull.

Posted: 3/22/2006 8:53:55 PM EDT

[#32]

Quoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
No doubt there are evil people in the world. Evil is only part of the picture. What I'm asking is where is the flair? Where are the henchmen with metal teeth? Where are the overly complex and grandiose plans? The little things that make a regular old villian achieve "super" status.

Hell, doesn't anyone take any joy in their work anymore? When is the last time you saw a drug dealer or dictator with a gold prosthetic finger?

Saddam hired a Canadian rocket scientist to build him a big-ass cannon to shoot rounds all the way to Israel. The plot failed when the Canuck was assassinated by the Mossad. (I mean, that's a plotline Tom Clancy and Ian Fleming would be hard-pressed to beat).

Saddam bombed his own people with vile nerve agents originally developed by the Nazis.

Saddam was so devious, his own generals believed he had WMD. As the American invasion loomed, these commanders were shocked to learn this wasn't the case.

Saddam tried to arrange the assassination of a former U.S. president, by contracting with alcohol smugglers in the dusty desert country of Kuwait. I mean, that's an absurdity Le Carre couldn't write.

Ever seen the inside of one of Saddam's palaces? The grandiosity, opulence, and egomania these places represent would put any Bond villain to shame.

Saddam's son, Uday, used to feed people to lions. Feed people to LIONS, fer chrissakes!

I think Saddam and his sick regime put any Hollywood "supervillain" to shame, actually.

Good answer!

I think the Canuck's name was Ball?

ETA: No it's Bull.

Thought he was South African?

Posted: 3/22/2006 8:57:00 PM EDT

[#33]

Gerald Bull had a vision and an obsession, a vision that led to estrangement from his native Canada, prison in America, and ultimately assassination by Israel.

world.std.com/~jlr/doom/bull.htm

FWIW, I just googled it

Posted: 3/22/2006 8:59:17 PM EDT

[#34]

Quoted:
Gerald Bull had a vision and an obsession, a vision that led to estrangement from his native Canada, prison in America, and ultimately assassination by Israel.

world.std.com/~jlr/doom/bull.htm

FWIW, I just googled it

It might have been the CIA and not Mossad.

Shadayim!

Posted: 3/22/2006 9:00:25 PM EDT

[#35]

Quoted:

See...no one takes me serious. It is like they are killing my reputation before I have even melted both polar ice caps.

-Ben

phh thats not evil enough, you gotta occupy the icecaps, then salinzie the worlds water supply so you can sell the ice

Posted: 3/22/2006 9:27:55 PM EDT

[#36]

Goldfinger, he's the man, the man with the Midas touch
A spider's touch
Such a cold finger beckons you to enter his web of sin
But don't go in

Golden words he will pour in your ear
But his lies can't disguise what you fear
For a golden girl knows when he's kissed her
It's the kiss of death from Mister

Goldfinger, pretty girl, beware of this heart of gold
This heart is cold

Golden words he will pour in your ear
But his lies can't disguise what you fear
For a golden girl knows when he's kissed her
It's the kiss of death from Mister

Goldfinger, pretty girl, beware of this heart of gold
This heart is cold
He loves only gold
Only gold
He loves gold
He loves only gold
Only gold
He loves gold!!!!!!

Posted: 3/22/2006 9:48:13 PM EDT

[#37]

Quoted:
Quoted:
Gerald Bull had a vision and an obsession, a vision that led to estrangement from his native Canada, prison in America, and ultimately assassination by Israel.

world.std.com/~jlr/doom/bull.htm

FWIW, I just googled it

It might have been the CIA and not Mossad.

Shadayim!

they made a movie

Posted: 3/22/2006 9:56:19 PM EDT

[#38]

Quoted:
No doubt there are evil people in the world. Evil is only part of the picture. What I'm asking is where is the flair? Where are the henchmen with metal teeth? Where are the overly complex and grandiose plans? The little things that make a regular old villian achieve "super" status.

Hell, doesn't anyone take any joy in their work anymore? When is the last time you saw a drug dealer or dictator with a gold prosthetic finger?

If you replace "gold prosthetic finger" with "gold teeth" Then I see them occasionally

Posted: 3/22/2006 10:03:05 PM EDT

[#39]

You guys are looking at this all wrong. The true supervillains are far closer than you think. They are a society of supervillains. They are obsessed with achieving their goal of world domination and they are supremely devious in their methods. They don't even have to hire henchmen, they raise them. Yes, that's right, I'm talking about soccer moms.

You want henchmen with metal teeth? Look at the number of kids getting braces.

Soccer moms control the future of this country. Our future is in their hands.

BTW, have you called your Mom lately?

Posted: 3/22/2006 10:09:05 PM EDT

[#40]

Because the Justice League keeps those mofo's in check

Posted: 3/22/2006 10:18:19 PM EDT

[#41]

Illuminati

Nanobots

(And that's all I'm gonna say about that.)

Posted: 3/23/2006 4:50:55 AM EDT

[#42]

You know, this is actually a fairly serious question.

Take an even slightly evil group of 10 engineers and the country would be in economic ruin in a week. 5 days to prep and 2 to execute. Remember the old guy that was running around the country taking bolts out of scores of high voltage power line towers? And that's probably the smallest thing the "evil engineers" could accomplish.

The powerful things a small group could do are so trivial to accomplish I don't feel comfortable expressing any more of them. But since it is so trivial it's beyond me why the forces of evil haven't simply gone ahead and done these things. It can't be because every plot has been detected and stopped.

I was at a Johns Hopkins University seminar on GWOT prior to 9-11 and asked the lecturer the same question. He couldn't answer it either. 9-11 was its own answer, of course, but why no follow up? (Not that I'm complaining!!!) My only answer is that you have to be fiendishly stupid to be a terrorist. Take our favorite shoe bomber, for instance. Poor design, poor execution and quite typical (thank goodness!!!)

aa

Posted: 3/23/2006 4:58:49 AM EDT

[#43]

Quoted:
Quoted:
www.spokaneyoungdems.org/archives/Evil%20Bush.JPG

Frodo Failed

That is actually pretty funny.

The first time I saw that, I laughed my ass off.
It is funny, because it is pretty clever.
It is funny on a different level, because liberals actually think of him in exactly those terms.

Posted: 3/23/2006 4:59:37 AM EDT

[#44]

The folks in Washington DC. They took our gold gave us paper. They are letting a foreign invasion happen as we speak.

Posted: 3/23/2006 5:02:38 AM EDT

[#45]

There are supervillains in real life. One of them is probably going to run for President in 2008. Care to guess who I'm talking about?

Posted: 3/23/2006 6:09:30 AM EDT

[#46]

There have been "supervillains" thoughout history.

Ivan The Terrible

Adolph Hitler

Josef Stalin

Saddam Hussein

Imagine the numbers of people who were killed by these men?

Posted: 3/23/2006 6:52:34 AM EDT

[#47]

Quoted:
You know, this is actually a fairly serious question.

Take an even slightly evil group of 10 engineers and the country would be in economic ruin in a week. 5 days to prep and 2 to execute. Remember the old guy that was running around the country taking bolts out of scores of high voltage power line towers? And that's probably the smallest thing the "evil engineers" could accomplish.

The powerful things a small group could do are so trivial to accomplish I don't feel comfortable expressing any more of them. But since it is so trivial it's beyond me why the forces of evil haven't simply gone ahead and done these things. It can't be because every plot has been detected and stopped.

I was at a Johns Hopkins University seminar on GWOT prior to 9-11 and asked the lecturer the same question. He couldn't answer it either. 9-11 was its own answer, of course, but why no follow up? (Not that I'm complaining!!!) My only answer is that you have to be fiendishly stupid to be a terrorist. Take our favorite shoe bomber, for instance. Poor design, poor execution and quite typical (thank goodness!!!)

aa

It’s all a matter of motive.

People typically don’t do anything unless there’s some profit in it for them. (Profit doesn’t have to be monetary profit, it can be something as simple as social recognition or even just living up to your own expectations of yourself.)

Terrorists are filled with hate and rage. They want to strike out and destroy their targets, economic sabotage isn’t enough. So terrorists just don’t have what it takes to fight this kind of war.

Hippies and other Leftists want the social recognition among their peers of being “radicals” and fighting the system. So they are going to talk to someone and give the whole thing away. Look at all the people at protests with their faces covered… Half of them are probably undercover agents who can’t risk being recognized from pictures.

Few legitimate political activists would benefit from this kind of thing at all so they aren’t interested, particularly when you factor in the risks involved.

And how would any professional engineer actually benefit from something like that?

That’s why it doesn’t happen. The people who have the ability can’t benefit from it in the least.