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Posted: 2/8/2006 12:46:48 PM EDT
I'm sitting outside watching the kids ride bikes, enjoying the balmy 47 degree February air. Sam the Dog is rolling around in the dried out dormant Bermuda grass like he was born to do it. I notice another unfamiliar dog roam into the cul-de-sac. I call Sam over quickly and like the good boy he is, he jumps up and hustles over, eager to please his alpha male master. I take him by the collar just in case nature trumps domestication and he decides it's more important to sniff some strange ass than to stay in my good grace.
Then it hits me. Stench. Stench of death. Sticky, putrid, clumps of rotten decaying rodent flesh on my hands and all in his finely groomed, hungarian hunting dog coat. That little bastard mutt was rolling all over the not-so-fresh carcass of an apparent former squirrel. I drag him out back and put him in the fenced backyard. I've washed my hands with Gojo, Dial antibacterial, and Dove....still smell of death. Question: Bath the dog or Shoot the dog and bury the squirrel with him since he seems to love it soooo much? roy d....poll forthcoming |
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The REAL question should be:
What round should RoyDamnMercer use to shoot his dog? (BTW I answered "Bath") |
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Shoot him with the spray hose. That's gotta be at least .50 caliber.
BTW, You are not a cop, are you? |
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At least it is just a dead animal.... my dogs have rolled in some stuff that is A LOT worse.
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Depends....
If your a cop definately shoot the bastard If not then just a bath |
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shoot him he might be a zombie and thats whats causing the smell
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Just whoop his ass, By God!
Ever had a conversation like this before? |
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Why? Did I spell everything wrong and leave donut glaze on the keyboard? roy d...not a cop |
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I hate when that happens. I always try to make things so the wife find it soon, then its off to the bath tub for pooch and I don't have to deal with it. Why have a wife if she won't clean shit.
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Should I have done a search for "What round is best for Zombie dogs?"
roy d....likes the .45acp |
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Just how big an ole boy are ya? Id pour a 55 gallon drum a whoop ass on him.
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Too late. Now you'll just be whooping his ass just for the sake of whooping. You should have whooped his ass when he was rolling on the stuff... ot its too late. |
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they always find the worst smelling thing in the yard don't they.
why can't they roll on flowers, herbs, or pie... it's always the worst fucking thing imaginable times 10. |
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DON'T shoot him. It's messy and he'll still stink anyway.
Just throw him in the washer with a bunch of Oxyclean, and put it on the Super Cycle. When it's done, he'll be fine. A little dizzy, but fine. |
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trick is to get the wife to do it right as she gets home let the dog in wife smells it she says bathe the dog you say can't and she does it to keep from getting the house to smell that way
ohhhhh use bakeing soda and tomato juice will kill the smell and follow up with a dog shampoo oh bury the rodant too |
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I didn't know he was rolling in it...if I whooped his ass after he came over, he would of associated the ass whooping with the "here boy" and that's bad mojo. |
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Thanks for the laugh!
If I had a dollar for everytime the thought of shooting my dog crossed my mind, I could buy a car. |
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Grabbed a shovel and buried it in the front yard...
...the neighbors front yard.....the squirrel, of course. You didn't think I was actually gonna kill my dog did ya? Dog survives ordeal. As well as master. Gets bath. Leaves thick, nasty, grey residue and hair stew behind. BTW, Sam appreciates the 72% that voted bath and he dropped dead rodents in the yards of the other 21% roy d...squirrels suck |
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I'd just leave the dog in the backyard for a week or so, that smell will eventually fade.
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RoyDamnMercer, are you a sworn law enforcement officer? If not, you have no business shooting your or anyone else's dog.
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For some reason dogs like to roll in dead things? Maybe hides thier scent when on the hunt. I took my dog out for a run one time over an hour from home, She ran right out and rolled in a fresh Cow Pie.
Try an hour long drive back with that in the car. |
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He's not out of the woods yet. The bullet voters are gaining ground and are preparing for an upset.
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I said bath because well, unless you are a cop you will probably get in trouble for shooting him. That said, use tomato juice, just like you would for skunk
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My dog has ripped a hole in the liner of my pond and killed my fish. Now the bitch is chained up in the backyard eating out of a hubcap were the b%tch belongs. I am really entertaining the bullet idea.
Roy D are you that little skinny sumbitch? |
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All of us hunters do that. It's what dogs do--no reason to off him. |
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Go get the liter bottle of lemon juice from the market, and bathe him. When he is wet in warm watter, pour the lemon juice over his back and massage in. The citric acid will burn up the rot smell brought on by decaying fat lipid. It is the same way I get dead squirl off my Labrador.
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Dogs have an incredible talent for finding something stinky. The last time my dog got out, I found her and brought her home in less than five minutes from the escape. She'd already found something awful to mess with, and I don't know what it was but it was nasty.
My response was brutal and direct: Drag dog to hose. Turn hose on and hose down dog with it. Water supply to hose is cold water only. It's winter (Florida winter) so the water is not at a pleasant temperature for taking a bath. The dog hates baths anyway. COLD baths are worse. After doing this routine a few times after each time she escaped, she's stopped trying to escape. I believe she now associates escapes with the horror of a cold bath immediately thereafter. CJ |
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You got it. Its a natural instinct. They do it so they can sneak up on prey and not smell like 'dog'. |
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Happiness is going to the lake and your dumbass cute little black doggie finds the 3ft rotting dead carp and manages to roll his 27 acre body in it a few hundred times before you discover WTF is going on...
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dogs are dogs, some smell here and there is nature. Dogs roll in things, get skunked, ect.,
Nature is good, the city doesn't wash off, just man up and bathe the dog. |
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Hell no. Load his stinkin' ass up in the back of the truck and drop him off at the local dog groomer. Tell them to give you a call when he no longer reeks of death. |
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It's not that I'm mad at him for being a dog...it's just so much easier to shoot him than bathe him... roy d....glad I'm not a groomer |
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The word is "bathe" the dog, not "bath" the dog.
Just spray him with a hose and shampoo him. |
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Be happy he is just rolling in dead things.
My dog is a shit eater....she prefers her own, but is not too picky. |
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Well he is just trying to please you. Just not in your eyes. Give him a bath. |
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PS...
Take the dog to the 25 cent carwash and run a few $'s through the machine. It's the only way to be sure... |
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I had a similiar experience with a 75# dog and a six foot diameter by two foot tall pile of rotting fish. Thankfully the pet shop was open untill 9:00PM that night. The funny part is there has only been a couple of times I was so pissed at him and he was so pleased with himself he couldn't wipe the grin off his furry face. Me: Him: It was a long night of scrubbing. |
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