You ever seen a wicked hard-body in the mall, and she turns around...

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[ARCHIVED THREAD] - You ever seen a wicked hard-body in the mall, and she turns around... (Page 1 of 2)

Posted: 1/30/2006 10:21:29 PM EDT

and is uglier than a restaurant dumpster?

I mean, popping out of her clothes, everything all a-wobble, totally eye-catching... then you get a look at her face, and are just deflated?

It's WEIRD, the way The Creator can do such inconsistent work...

Posted: 1/30/2006 10:22:38 PM EDT

[#1]

Butterface

Posted: 1/30/2006 10:23:07 PM EDT

[#2]

Quoted:
Butterface

Beat me to it

Posted: 1/30/2006 10:23:10 PM EDT

[#3]

Hit it anyway.

When you brag to your friends...how often do you mention facial features?...

fag

Posted: 1/30/2006 10:24:23 PM EDT

[#4]

BODFOR

Body Of Desire, Face Of Regret.

Posted: 1/30/2006 10:25:49 PM EDT

[#5]

Why look at the mantlepiece while you are poking the fire?

Posted: 1/30/2006 10:27:34 PM EDT

[#6]

Yup, it's cruel in the extreme.

You get some babe with a phenomenally gorgeous body coupled with a face that would not only stop a clock but shatter it into billions of pieces and then there's the opposite...

A gal that has really attractive face, hair, eyes, smile but the body is enough to send shudders down your spine for even *thinking* about her naked.

<sigh>

Can't win sometimes.

Posted: 1/30/2006 10:31:21 PM EDT

[#7]

The face is cheaper to fix than the body...

Posted: 1/30/2006 10:31:38 PM EDT

[#8]

Fine from far but far from fine.

Posted: 1/30/2006 10:37:43 PM EDT

[#9]

Quoted:
It's WEIRD, the way ~~The Creator~~

Your' local hack, plastic surgeon, can do such,

Scarry, scary, hideous, frankenshit,

inconsistent work...

Bag It. Tag It.

&

shushhh....

hush....

Posted: 1/30/2006 10:38:54 PM EDT

[#10]

..And on the eighth day, He created paper bags. And He saw that it was good.

Posted: 1/30/2006 10:39:46 PM EDT

[#11]

Quoted:
..And on the eighth day, He created paper bags. And He saw that it was good.

And on the ninth day, He created the Double Bag. And he saw that it was better.

Posted: 1/30/2006 10:41:25 PM EDT

[#12]

Quoted:
Quoted:
..And on the eighth day, He created paper bags. And He saw that it was good.

And on the ninth day, He created the Double Bag. And he saw that it was better.

That's what i'm saying. Besides. It'll still look good when you're hittin' it from behind.

Posted: 1/30/2006 11:13:29 PM EDT

[#13]

I saw one tonight at Home Depot that looked great from the back and from the side when she was looking away. Then when she turned, I realized she had to be at least 70! She easily passed for 30 from the neck down and was dressed like a 20 year-old going clubbing. Her eye make-up looked like Avril Lavigne's worst. It was just discomforting to look at her due to the contradictions. While I respect and admire the obvious years of hard work she has put into maintaining herself, the shock of seeing her turn around was just unpleasant. If she has dressed differently and did her make-up differently she could compete with an older Ann-Margret, Julie Christie or Eva Marie Saint, but as she was, she just looked ridiculous.z

Posted: 1/30/2006 11:18:53 PM EDT

[#14]

Beauty is a light switch away!

-Smalls
Sgt. of Marines

Posted: 1/30/2006 11:38:13 PM EDT

[#15]

Quoted:
Beauty is a light switch away!

-Smalls
Sgt. of Marines

Posted: 1/30/2006 11:39:11 PM EDT

[#16]

"wicked hard-body"....did you grow up in the 80's?

Posted: 1/31/2006 12:37:13 AM EDT

[#17]

If they don't meet your standards, then lower them

rk

Posted: 1/31/2006 12:58:41 AM EDT

[#18]

The cure for that problem....

Posted: 1/31/2006 12:59:13 AM EDT

[#19]

Edited to make COC compatible

Posted: 1/31/2006 1:05:06 AM EDT

[#20]

Quoted:
"wicked hard-body"....did you grow up in the 80's?

Or worse... Boston?

Posted: 1/31/2006 1:24:20 AM EDT

[#21]

Butterface, oh Butterface
Your body did lie
It’s really messed up
How it got my hopes up so high
With that f*cked up face and those bloodshot eyes
Hold the bag steady
So you don't scare all the guys
Your body is banging, but your face makes me shout
Your front teeth are screaming “Let me the hell out”
With pimples galore and breath like acid
You look like something
That crawled out of Lake Placid
That’s it for now
I have only one thing to say
Keep that face covered
Until darkness strikes, at the end of the day.

Posted: 1/31/2006 2:36:08 AM EDT

[#22]

That has happended to me a few times.

I used to sit next to this girl in college that had an A+ body, unfortunately her face was enough to make you hurl. The worst was when she would wear bike shorts and a tank top. Such a waste.

Posted: 1/31/2006 3:50:05 AM EDT

[#23]

Don't tell me
what your name is
I want your body
not your ~~mind~~ face...

The The - Infected

Posted: 1/31/2006 4:01:56 AM EDT

[#24]

Go to bed at 2 with a 10.
Wake up at 10 with a 2.

Enough beer will make all your dreams come true.

Posted: 1/31/2006 4:13:41 AM EDT

[#25]

Quoted:
Fine from far but far from fine.

We say GFF FFG

"good from far.....far from good"

Is she a "moped"? You know fun to ride but you wouldn't want your friends to see you on one.

Bomber

Posted: 1/31/2006 4:18:02 AM EDT

[#26]

Beer helps!

Nine Coronas video and song sung to "My Sharona".

http://www.wimp.com/coronas/

Posted: 1/31/2006 4:21:13 AM EDT

[#27]

Yup, and to make matters worse, we have one at our office. Awesome body, killer arms and legs, works out all the time, but "a face that could stop a clock".

Posted: 1/31/2006 4:24:23 AM EDT

[#28]

All the time.

Posted: 1/31/2006 4:26:36 AM EDT

[#29]

Is that any worse than the one's you see at some high counter that make your eyes pop out because their head is so perfect and then you see them out from behind the counter and they weigh 300 lbs ???

rj

Posted: 1/31/2006 4:40:39 AM EDT

[#30]

lol yeah i've seen what appeared to be delicious from the rear and then I'm all like hey how are... YEARGH! OWAGUH! cause she turns out to be 60 something. woops.

Posted: 1/31/2006 5:22:24 AM EDT

[#31]

Quoted:

Don't tell me
what your name is
I want your body
not your ~~mind~~ face...

The The - Infected

hey, I thought I was the only person that was into old Matt?

Posted: 1/31/2006 5:28:04 AM EDT

[#32]

Fred Sanford used to call that, "Dreamboat body, shipwreck face."

Posted: 1/31/2006 5:34:20 AM EDT

[#33]

I don't go to the mall.

Posted: 1/31/2006 11:39:58 PM EDT

[#34]

Quoted:
Quoted:

Don't tell me
what your name is
I want your body
not your ~~mind~~ face...

The The - Infected

hey, I thought I was the only person that was into old Matt?

Some excellent tunes there. Not sure why they weren't more popular.

Posted: 2/2/2006 8:43:02 PM EDT

[#35]

Quoted:
"wicked hard-body"....did you grow up in the 80's?

Yes. How'd ya guess?

Posted: 2/2/2006 8:44:13 PM EDT

[#36]

Quoted:
i1.tinypic.com/mw63ww.jpg
Edited to make COC compatible

Posted: 2/2/2006 8:46:48 PM EDT

[#37]

Two paper bags... one for her, one for you in case her's falls off.

or

Wrap a flag around her head and do it for old glory!

Posted: 2/2/2006 8:49:14 PM EDT

[#38]

Quoted:
Fred Sanford used to call that, "Dreamboat body, shipwreck face."

He also said "You so ugly I could press your face into some dough and make some gorilla cookies"

Posted: 2/2/2006 8:50:56 PM EDT

[#39]

No.

I live in California where all the pretty girls from around the nation (and world) move to try to get into television.

Posted: 2/2/2006 9:23:53 PM EDT

[#40]

Paul, the thing is, some of those pretty girls are actually MEN!

CALIFORNIA GIRLS
--THE BEACH BOYS --

Well east coast girls are hip
I really dig those styles they wear
And the southern girls with the way they talk
They knock me out when I’m down there

The mid-west farmer’s daughters really make you feel alright
And the northern girls with the way they kiss
They keep their boyfriends warm at night

I wish they all could be california
I wish they all could be california
I wish they all could be california girls

The west coast has the sunshine
And the girls all get so tanned
I dig a french bikini on hawaii island
Dolls by a palm tree in the sand

I been all around this great big world
And I seen all kinds of girls
Yeah, but I couldn’t wait to get back in the states
Back to the cutest girls in the world

I wish they all could be california
I wish they all could be california
I wish they all could be california girls

I wish they all could be california
(girls, girls, girls yeah I dig the)
I wish they all could be california
(girls, girls, girls yeah I dig the)
I wish they all could be california
(girls, girls, girls yeah I dig the)
I wish they all could be california
(girls, girls, girls yeah I dig the)

Seriously, though, I thought they were called UMYUKS. When you're far away you say, mmmm. Then when you get close you go YUK! Hence, the name UMYUK.

Posted: 2/2/2006 10:00:53 PM EDT

[#41]

Quoted:
Two paper bags... one for her, one for you in case her's falls off.

or

Wrap a flag around her head and do it for old glory!

Or "I've got some cream that'll clear that right up".

Posted: 2/2/2006 10:01:25 PM EDT

[#42]

I knew a gal like this in college. She had a hot body and a face that looked like a shaved dog's ass. She used to wonder why guys would use her. I didn't have the heart to tell her the truth.

Posted: 2/2/2006 10:06:27 PM EDT

[#43]

Quoted:
..And on the eighth day, He created paper bags. And He saw that it was good.

that is so wrong!

Posted: 2/2/2006 10:19:54 PM EDT

[#44]

Do it doggy style. All you see is the back of her head.

Posted: 2/2/2006 10:28:15 PM EDT

[#45]

Quoted:
Do it doggy style. All you see is the back of her head.

+1-all you gotta do is turn her around

Posted: 2/3/2006 2:12:06 AM EDT

[#46]

a body to die for and a face to defend it, man thats why booze was invented, doesn't matter if a chicks 5' nothing peg legged looks like the michilen mans sister got sommer teeth and nappy hair, some drunk dude in a group of 5 would say "man, I'd tap that ass".

Posted: 2/3/2006 5:13:17 PM EDT

[#47]

Just today i was about to ask a girl at the mall where a store was located to run a service call,she turned around and had a face that would back up snot.