Chuck Norris is a real Christian-American badass.
Chuck Norris can and will recite Bible scriptures while baptising you in a urinal at a honkeytonk.
Chuck Norris sometimes drives a church bus on sunday mornings and always gets the right of way at four corner stops,always!!!
When Chuck Norris is asked to say a few words of inspiration from the pulpit everyone ducks down behind the pews because if Chuck Norris clears his throat before speaking the concussion of such could slay the entire congregation[ and I don't mean in the spiritual sense either].
Chuck Norris's facial impression has been seen by many on trees,whiskey bottles,eatible victoria's secret underdrawers and burnt grilled cheese sammiches all around the world.
Chuch Norris dosen't go around on visitation night anymore asking why church members have not been at church or prayer meetings, because this only decreases church membership and increases gridlock due to funeral processions.
Chuck Norris is the only male member left in the church choir and that is cool with the music director and totally cool with all the hotties in the alto and sapprano sections.
Chuck Norris will snap-punch and dragon-kick the devil's crusty ass into a new era of chicken-shit if Chuck Norris finds out he has been trying to use his evil powers of deception to stop people from buying exercise equipment he has promoted.
Chuck Norris had a tuesday night self-defense karate class for seniors in the church gymnasium.
Chuck Norris now on tuesday night has only physical therapy sessions for catastrophically impaired individuals covered under the silver care plan as a condition of his probation.
Chuck Norris is a real Christian-American badass.