Up to this point in my life, I have had a rough “go of it.”  I came from an abusive family, and ended up homeless at 17 when my mother kicked me out for refusing to let her slap and punch me.  

I ended up in Tucson at the UofA working at Residence Life making $3.30 an hour. There, I had a homosexual Hispanic boss who tried to molest me.

I had to drop out of school because I could get no financial aid.  This was due to the fact that my family had invested in Intel and became millionaires basically overnight. Thanks to Bill Clinton, their earnings were taken into account until I turned 23.

I joined the Army, and scored 92 on my ASVAB (sp?).  I got an Airborne contract.  While in basic, I developed a severe upper respiratory infection, and went on sick call.  They diagnosed me with Asthma, and sent me home (medical discharge).  I found out later that due to Bill Clinton cutbacks, a lot of people we sent home this way with either flat feet or asthma.

Later, I tried to get an LEO job, but I believe I failed the polygraph (I am not sure, they never told me).  The weird thing was that I was truthful…

I had incompetent bosses.  I had bosses that engaged in fraud and then tried to pin it on me.  

On and on it went.

One day I realized that I was living in the past.  I was bitter about my family upbringing, I was bitter about my discharge from the Army.  It seemed that everything I had tried to do ended in failure.

I realized that while my past was a disaster, my future was entirely up to me.  I decided to start living focusing on the future.  I stopped engaging in self destructive behaviors (nothing serious).

I went back to school, got school loans and ended up with both a B.A. and an M.B.A.  I set up boundaries for my parents, and our relationship is better than I ever thought possible. I met a wonderful woman and have been married to her for 8 great years (the only problem is that she wants sex every day).  We have found a great church, and are plugged into some of their programs.  I will be closing on a new house next week.  In the time it has taken them to build it, the value of the house has gone up about $65K.  I have a great job (Project Manager), and a competent boss who is mentoring me.  I have good challenges at work, and my decisions are supported.  I have lost 64 pounds in the last year.

To top it all off, I just found out that my wife is pregnant.

I am not sure that things could be going better.  I never ever thought it was possible to be this happy.

The only problem is that there is a very small voice in the back of my head that tells me that something bad is going to happen, that things are going too well… Am I a freak?

congrats!

enjoy the good times while it lasts--they rarely do

Bad things will happen… that is life. They WILL happen to you again.

You seem to be able to handle that so tell the little voice to fu*k off.

Yep.  Whining is fun, but it is always better to cowboy up.  

Thanks for sharing.

No, you aren't a freak.   I'm the same way.


For me, the other shoe just did drop.   My income got, uh, readjusted downward by about 40%, right when my wife went back to school for more education.     Apparantly I've been making too much money for the company, so I'm getting penalized.


EVERY time I get ahead, something hits.    Overall, it always seems to work out, and I progress forward despite the setbacks.

Sometimes, you just have to look at the long term.


BTW - who's the father?  

Let go of the past and enjoy what you have now.  Expect the worst... and it will find you.

Good job man.

Quoted: The only problem is that there is a very small voice in the back of my head that tells me that something bad is going to happen, that things are going too well… Am I a freak?

Get your ass over to the Survival Forum post haste!

Quoted: The only problem is that there is a very small voice in the back of my head that tells me that something bad is going to happen, that things are going too well… Am I a freak?

... Kill it now, I'm dead serious

... That shit is negativism that once bogged you down trying to sneak back in your mind

... You will be continued to dealt problems throughout the remainder of your life, but you now know how to address them, deal with and overcome adversity.

... Do not let self-doubt back in your life at all!

Quoted: I realized that while my past was a disaster, my future was entirely up to me.

Wise man.

I try to tell that to people all the time. Most would rather wallow in self-pity.

The only problem is that there is a very small voice in the back of my head that tells me that something bad is going to happen, that things are going too well… Am I a freak?

I was 13, oldest of 5, when my father died. I went out that morning to shovel snow, Cold but gorgeous blue sky. My Dad was ill. I remember thinking what bad could happen on a day like this when the neighbor went running across to my house. Went in and Dad was dead.

That has always stuck with me and whenever I feel like things are going great I hear that little voice in the back of my head. Just the way it is and it has gotten better after 33 years.

IOW, normal.

Sounds like you have done great, BTW. So have I.

I am not sure that things could be going better. I never ever thought it was possible to be this happy.

eat shit and die err, i mean, congratulations

Quoted: ... Kill it now, I'm dead serious ... That shit is negativism that once bogged you down trying to sneak back in your mind ... You will be continued to dealt problems throughout the remainder of your life, but you now know how to address them, deal with and overcome adversity. ... Do not let self-doubt back in your life at all!

+1

Bad things ARE going to happen. That's life.

But let them happen as they do. Do NOT bring them on yourself.

(1)  You have done a kick-ass job with what you had to work with.  You kept plugging away and are a testament to perseverence!

(2)  Since you mentioned having a church home, I'll be blunt about the "little voice".  It's the devil.  Fuck him.  he doesn't like people living comfortable lives because they kept their principles.  Your fears are irrational, and no rational argument is going to make them go away.  Talk to the man upstairs; He's the only one that can truly relieve those fears.

Sounds like the other shoe has dropped, and it is a good one.  Congratulations!  

I had a similar backround except I didn't get molested by my homohispanic boss, and I got a normal honorable ETS from the Army.  Sometimes the exact same feeling crops up.  It's based on logic.  Things are pretty good, and we all know that the only constant in life is change.

I think the answer is to be prepare for the inevitable bumps in the road, and KNOW that you can handle whatever life throws your way.

That little voice is your common sense telling you that a house does not rationally gain $65,000 in value while it is being built.  That is not real money so don't think of it as such.  Real estate WILL go down.  The only question is where, when and how much.  

Fear of success can hold you back as much as fear of failure.

I think it is a great success story. Instead of allowing your past to keep you down, you decided to free yourself from it and to make the best out of life.

Quoted: The only problem is that there is a very small voice in the back of my head that tells me that something bad is going to happen, that things are going too well… Am I a freak?

No, you are not a freak. You are probably just so used to things going badly that being happy might seem somewhat strange and unnatural to you. The important thing is to not allow it to drag you back into your past. Sometimes people start engaging in self-destructive behavior when have had a problematic past and are now "too happy," creating trouble where there should be none, because they cannot understand their happy reality.

The only problem is that there is a very small voice in the back of my head that tells me that something bad is going to happen, that things are going too well… Am I a freak?

No.

Wow, good life experience story. I'm glad you overcomed your adversities, life is what you make it.

… Am I a freak?

No.  You are a winner.  Keep up the good work and don't look back.

-White Horse

People who have never fallen on hard times really haven't experienced life.

You are most certainly not a freak. You are a survivor.

Good show. I say ole man, good show!

The little voice in the back of your head is your enemy.  If you listened to it, you would have never succeeded.  Tell it to get lost and proceed with life, it looks like you have a good future.  Make sure to not make the mistakes your parents did when the little one comes along.

Obviously perseverance pays.

You know what?  I'd take off the other shoe and walk in the sand for a bit.  Enjoy it while you can.  Hopefully you'll never need to put your shoes on again.