Has the Wife/Husband ever accused you of using too much TP. A real shitty subject! - Page 2

[ARCHIVED THREAD] - Has the Wife/Husband ever accused you of using too much TP. A real shitty subject! (Page 2 of 2)

Posted: 9/24/2005 4:21:20 AM EDT

[#1]

Quoted:
my wife goes through a 24 pack in 2 weeks.

i always told her she was full of shit, now i have the proof to go with it

My ex could & did go through a 24 pack in 4 freaking days! In toilet paper expendatures alone I saved enough to pay for my lawyer.

Posted: 9/24/2005 4:25:33 AM EDT

[#2]

Quoted:
Personally, I'm not keen on a hand covered in shit, or in residual skid marks in my drawers....so I mummify my mits with TP and wipe until I have achieved a lusterous glisten on my cheeks.
Sheep

+1

I've found as long as I wait long enough in any given thread somebody else will usually type out something I can +1 about.

Posted: 9/24/2005 4:52:40 AM EDT

[#3]

Quoted:
Quoted:
Tell your wife that you're going to start buying in bulk so she'll stop complaining.

While you're at it, show her this pic:

home.comcast.net/~cjan99999/Charmin.JPG

I asked my wife to "stock up", and that was what she brought home.

Are those single rolls or doubles?

ETA: Using Bounty for TP is HARD CORE.

A sheet of Bounty torn in half and soaked in warm water is great for the final couple of wipes. Makes the bunghole squeeky clean.

Posted: 9/24/2005 6:28:36 AM EDT

[#4]

I make baby Wipes by cutting a roll of Bounty in half and mixing it in a heated solution of Baby Oil and baby wash...Worked great for all 3 kids

Posted: 9/24/2005 7:53:16 AM EDT

[#5]

Quoted:
TO ALL THE GUYS WHO ARE ABOUT TO COMPLAIN THAT THEIR WIFE USES TOO MUCH TP:

Remember, we gotta use it for both numbers. There's nothing to shake.

That's what that panel in the crotch is for, to absorb any "moisture".

AB

Posted: 9/24/2005 7:57:47 AM EDT

[#6]

No, I have been accused of taking WAY too much time though. Wireless internet and ARFCOM are a great combo.....

Posted: 9/24/2005 8:48:33 AM EDT

[#7]

Quoted:
Quoted:
TO ALL THE GUYS WHO ARE ABOUT TO COMPLAIN THAT THEIR WIFE USES TOO MUCH TP:

Remember, we gotta use it for both numbers. There's nothing to shake.

That's what that panel in the crotch is for, to absorb any "moisture".

AB

Posted: 9/24/2005 8:59:27 AM EDT

[#8]

Quoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
TO ALL THE GUYS WHO ARE ABOUT TO COMPLAIN THAT THEIR WIFE USES TOO MUCH TP:

Remember, we gotta use it for both numbers. There's nothing to shake.

Yeah, but how much do you need? It seems to me that a few sheets properly folded.... pat dry... buff to a high luster... and you're done.

I had this one girlfriend once.. man, that woman would go through a roll of TP a day.

3-4 max. Unless, well....

Aight, I can get down with that. It's important to keep the pooty clean.

As long as someone's not regularly using football-sized wads of TP, then shine that baby to a high gloss.

Posted: 9/24/2005 9:04:00 AM EDT

[#9]

Quoted:
Quoted:
Bidet motherfucker, do you use it?

Yeah, everyone should have a water fountain in the bathroom. It's the civilized way.

[crocodile dundee] Oooooeeee! It's fer warshin' ya backside! [/crocodile dundee]

Posted: 9/24/2005 9:07:02 AM EDT

[#10]

Quoted:

Oh yeah! Sign me up!

I've found the new toilet for the future ~~Heilo~~ napalm Bathroom & Lounge.

Posted: 9/24/2005 9:08:20 AM EDT

[#11]

Quoted:
Why don't we have an ass like a cat? They don't have to wipe. Only humans need to wipe.

Yeah, damn that whole walking upright thing..

Posted: 9/24/2005 9:12:04 AM EDT

[#12]

Quoted:
Cats don't need to wipe because they lick their assholes clean. I don't think that would be an option, even if we could.

I just find it hard to believe that we're now in the 21st century and everyone still cleans themselves by pawing at their asses with wadded up paper. Of course, look at what TP costs at the store, and it's considered a 'staple.' I'm sure that we've come up with better methods, but Big TP has kept it all quiet.

We need to figure out exactly how the three seashells work, a la 'Demolition Man'.

John Spartan: [whispering to Lenina] Look, I don't know if you guys know itbut you're... you're out of toilet paper.
Alfredo Garcia: Did you say toilet paper?
Lenina Huxley: Oh. They used handfuls of wadded paper back in the 20th...
[Lenina, Alfredo, and Erwin all laugh]
John Spartan: I'm happy that you're happy, but the place where you're supposed to have the toilet paper, you've got this little shelf with three seashells on it.
Erwin: He doesn't know how to use the three seashells!
[Erwin continues to laugh, then calms down]
Erwin: I can see how that could be confusing.

Posted: 9/24/2005 9:14:25 AM EDT

[#13]

Holy shit! I've 6 replies in a row!

WTF is everyone?

Posted: 9/24/2005 9:15:46 AM EDT

[#14]

Quoted:
Holy shit! I've 6 replies in a row!

WTF is everyone?

I'm only here to break up the insanity.

Posted: 9/24/2005 9:17:40 AM EDT

[#15]

Quoted:
Quoted:
Holy shit! I've 6 replies in a row!

WTF is everyone?

I'm only here to break up the insanity.

Wasn't there photographic evidence of you using too much TP floating around the bowels of arfcom a while back???

Posted: 9/24/2005 9:22:20 AM EDT

[#16]

Quoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
Holy shit! I've 6 replies in a row!

WTF is everyone?

I'm only here to break up the insanity.

Wasn't there photographic evidence of you using too much TP floating around the bowels of arfcom a while back???

Maaaaaybe, but it wasn't about using too much TP.

Posted: 9/24/2005 9:23:43 AM EDT

[#17]

Quoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
Holy shit! I've 6 replies in a row!

WTF is everyone?

I'm only here to break up the insanity.

Wasn't there photographic evidence of you using too much TP floating around the bowels of arfcom a while back???

Maaaaaybe, but it wasn't about using too much TP.

skerb.org/files/sp1.gif

Posted: 9/24/2005 10:14:49 AM EDT

[#18]

Quoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
Holy shit! I've 6 replies in a row!

WTF is everyone?

I'm only here to break up the insanity.

Wasn't there photographic evidence of you using too much TP floating around the bowels of arfcom a while back???

Maaaaaybe, but it wasn't about using too much TP.

You know you've made it to the bigtime when you've got your own animated smiley!

Posted: 9/24/2005 10:19:14 AM EDT

[#19]

Quoted:
Tell your wife that you're going to start buying in bulk so she'll stop complaining.

No pun intended eh?

Posted: 9/24/2005 10:22:31 AM EDT

[#20]

This whole thread

Oh and wet wipes are the best!

Posted: 9/24/2005 10:26:00 AM EDT

[#21]

Quoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
Holy shit! I've 6 replies in a row!

WTF is everyone?

I'm only here to break up the insanity.

Wasn't there photographic evidence of you using too much TP floating around the bowels of arfcom a while back???

Maaaaaybe, but it wasn't about using too much TP.

skerb.org/files/sp1.gif

You know you've made it to the bigtime when you've got your own animated smiley!

I'd like to take credit, but NimmerMehr is the ~~culprit~~ artist.

Posted: 9/24/2005 10:27:24 AM EDT

[#22]

Quoted:
Heck, get one of the cheap handheld shower massagers from Walmart. One or two passes with TP to get most of it, put it on pulse and go through the car wash, and one more TP pass to dry.

I really don't think TP actually cleans you, it mostly dries it on.

If you got dog shit smeared in your hair, would you be happy to clean it with a paper towel?

Posted: 9/24/2005 10:35:36 AM EDT

[#23]

Quoted:
Maaaaaybe, but it wasn't about using too much TP.

skerb.org/files/sp1.gif]

Posted: 9/24/2005 12:44:25 PM EDT

[#24]

Quoted:
Quoted:
TO ALL THE GUYS WHO ARE ABOUT TO COMPLAIN THAT THEIR WIFE USES TOO MUCH TP:

Remember, we gotta use it for both numbers. There's nothing to shake.

That's what that panel in the crotch is for, to absorb any "moisture".

AB

DUDE...no. Would you really like to go down on a girl who used that method and have a facefull of pie that smells like urine? I didn't think so.

[ARCHIVED THREAD] - Has the Wife/Husband ever accused you of using too much TP. A real shitty subject! (Page 2 of 2)

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