User Panel
User Panel
User Panel
|
Posted: 8/31/2005 10:32:13 AM EDT
[#1]
If you really care about her, stay with her, but don't expect her to change.
|
|
|
|
Posted: 8/31/2005 10:33:13 AM EDT
[#2]
Buckle up, cowboy...she can't deal with it so you'll be dealing with it. Or maybe she'll just 'get better'. |
|
|
|
|
Posted: 8/31/2005 10:34:19 AM EDT
[#3]
Run. Once broke it can't be fixed. The cracks will always be there.
|
|
|
|
Posted: 8/31/2005 10:34:50 AM EDT
[#4]
Her moodswings and emotional reactions to the past might be related to her cycle. Hormones can make a woman do crazy things.
Having said that, RUN!!! It will not get better until after menopause. Hang out if you can wait that long. |
|
|
|
Posted: 8/31/2005 10:35:27 AM EDT
[#5]
I was dating a girl for a couple months when out of nowhere I find out she is/was anorexic and had been engaged until about 1 month before I started seeing her. This is a 20 year old mind you. Things didn't work out. Unless you REALLY care for her your best bet is just get out of her life and let her sort it all out.
|
|
|
|
Posted: 8/31/2005 10:35:31 AM EDT
[#6]
+1 Cracks kill. 
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: 8/31/2005 10:36:03 AM EDT
[#7]
heres some facts:
"most girls have had an eating disorder before." "A large percentage of girls have been molested before." Its a sad state of affairs that these things happen, and they happen alot. |
|
|
|
Posted: 8/31/2005 10:36:23 AM EDT
[#8]
If you care about her, and she sounds great to me, seek the help of a counselor.
Get her professional help, this is her way of asking for it. |
|
|
|
Posted: 8/31/2005 10:37:11 AM EDT
[#9]
Women with issues should wear warning signs.
|
|
|
|
Posted: 8/31/2005 10:38:41 AM EDT
[#10]
That would be redundent, since all women have issues. |
|
|
|
|
Posted: 8/31/2005 10:39:05 AM EDT
[#11]
it will start in about 2 days so that could be it. |
|
|
|
|
Posted: 8/31/2005 10:39:16 AM EDT
[#12]
Unfortunately true. I've known several women from my past who had similar experiences. |
|
|
|
|
Posted: 8/31/2005 10:40:30 AM EDT
[#13]
yeah i know its pretty amazing how much a sicko can fuck up their lives 
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: 8/31/2005 10:40:31 AM EDT
[#14]
If it becomes law, I'm investing in sign printing supplies. |
|
|
|
|
Posted: 8/31/2005 10:40:50 AM EDT
[#15]
+1 The gift that keeps on giving... |
|
|
|
|
Posted: 8/31/2005 10:41:47 AM EDT
[#16]
RUN
as said by the Offspring: I'm seeing this girl and she just might be out of her mind Well she's got baggage and it's all the emotional kind She talks about closure and that validation bit I don't mean to be insensitive, but I really hate that shit Oh man she's got issues And I'm gonna pay She thinks she's the victim Yeah Now I know she'll feel abandoned If I don't stay over late And I know she's afraid to commit But it's only our second date Oh man she's got issues And I'm gonna pay She thinks she's the victim But she takes it all out on me I don't know why you're messed up I don't know why your whole life is a chore Just do me a favor And check your baggage at the door Now she talks about her ex nonstop, but I don't mind But when she calls out his name in bed That's where I draw the line You told me a hundred times how your father left and he's gone But I wish you wouldn't call me daddy When we're gettin' it on Oh man she's got issues And I'm gonna pay She's playing the victim And taking it all out on me My god she's got issues And I'm gonna pay If you think I'm controlling Then why do you follow me around If you're not co-dependent Then why do you let others drag you down I don't know why you're messed up I don't know why your whole life is a chore Just do me a favor And check your baggage at the door |
|
|
|
Posted: 8/31/2005 10:41:48 AM EDT
[#17]
Eating disorders are indicative of severe problems. They rarely get better. I'd run like the wind.
|
|
|
|
Posted: 8/31/2005 10:42:16 AM EDT
[#18]
x2 |
|
|
|
|
Posted: 8/31/2005 10:42:45 AM EDT
[#19]
Truer words have never been spoken. A little therapy might help her, but don't ever expect all those issues to just dissapear. |
|
|
|
|
Posted: 8/31/2005 10:43:23 AM EDT
[#20]
They do. They're called boobs. If you see someone with boobs, it's an almost certain warning that they've got more issues than National Geographic. |
|
|
|
|
Posted: 8/31/2005 10:43:53 AM EDT
[#21]
She might be bi-polar. Good luck man.
|
|
|
|
Posted: 8/31/2005 10:43:57 AM EDT
[#22]
I have dated a couple of women who were freaky-deaky, no-holes-barred, anything goes sex monsters. But, they have f'ed up lives. Lotsa stuff in their past. (I think there is a definate link!)
Anyway, the relationships went sour and ended badly. I have since married a respectable woman. What I don't get physically is more than made up for by knowing she won't go bonkers or stab me in the back. Now that you know where I'm coming from, I guess I would say have fun. Go shooting, driving, whatever you do. But don't take it too seriously. I don't believe in love conquers all, relationships are a choice. Choose someone sane. |
|
|
|
Posted: 8/31/2005 10:44:50 AM EDT
[#23]
Be a nice sweet loving caring guy and she will see that your not any of the guys from her past and things will stay great. Fuck up one time and your the guy that molested her, you called her fat, and poked her in the butt without so much as a kiss on the back of the neck or KY and you'll pay, dear God almighty you will pay. I hate to say this but it's true. All women (and most men) have issues. Some women get to be more caring and very sweet when they go through some things. Stick around and you'll be grateful, especially if she gets help to get past things.
|
|
|
|
Posted: 8/31/2005 10:44:54 AM EDT
[#24]
I didn't want to get wrapped up in any mushy nonsense so I didn't read your post or the follow-up responses. The answer is "dump her".
If you feel concerned enough to post/ask the question then you know in your heart mind the correct response. Then again, just like the "My GF is interested in a bi-threesome" question from a month ago, be a man, hit it. Just don't count on any future with her. Have fun now. |
|
|
|
Posted: 8/31/2005 10:45:11 AM EDT
[#25]
Have her go see a shrink for a while.
I knew a girl like that when I was younger. She started to see a shrink when she was 17 and I met her when she was 23 and she was still seeing the shrink. She was pretty normal and she was working out her issues but it is a long process. |
|
|
|
Posted: 8/31/2005 10:46:37 AM EDT
[#26]
If you care about her like you say, reassure her that she doesn't have to deal with it alone.
Be there for her, let her vent (sometimes it's good just to let things out), and support her in any counseling efforts. The "cut & run" folks tend to be self centered and have little hope of a good relationship. |
|
|
|
Posted: 8/31/2005 10:47:39 AM EDT
[#27]
|
|
|
|
Posted: 8/31/2005 10:49:10 AM EDT
[#28]
I was with a girl who had been molested as a kid. Like you, i didn`t learn about it until she started having problems and acting out. I already cared for her deeply. It would come and go, and most of it was good, but when it was bad it was awful. She would become self destructive, and very unpleasant to be around. I talked her into seeing a therapist, and was she started on prozac which made her not care about her problems so much, but she also didn`t care about anything else much either.
We were off and on for about 5 years, and i finally got sick of trying to save/help her and it ended ugly. I havn`t spoken to her in 6 years. She was drop dead gorgeous, and very smart. She could have had and done anything she wanted. She is now married to a local radio DJ, covered in tattoos and piercings and on drugs. I can`t tell you what to do, but after her, i can tell you i try and find out those sorts of things right away and avoid those women with that sort of past trauma and problems like the plague. |
|
|
|
Posted: 8/31/2005 10:50:16 AM EDT
[#29]
Wow I think you hit the nail on the head. |
|
|
|
|
Posted: 8/31/2005 10:52:08 AM EDT
[#30]
Like my buddy always says.
"There all psycho whores!" I agree but still have high hopes to find one that aint someday. |
|
|
|
Posted: 8/31/2005 10:52:20 AM EDT
[#31]
Keep a log. That will tell the tale. I've done it and it works! |
||
|
|
|
Posted: 8/31/2005 10:55:22 AM EDT
[#32]
really same behavior right before and during? The part that i find weird is how can hate you yet want to fuck your brains out right before they start
|
|||
|
|
|
Posted: 8/31/2005 10:55:51 AM EDT
[#33]
Break up with her and IM me her phone number
Sorry bud someone had to say it 
|
|
|
|
Posted: 8/31/2005 10:56:21 AM EDT
[#34]
+1 It all depends on how much you care and what you expect out of the situation. Best of luck with your decision. |
|
|
|
|
Posted: 8/31/2005 10:57:49 AM EDT
[#35]
I thought you were going to tell me something scary!
 What you describe isn't that scary. Obviously I can't diagnose your relationship for you, nor diagnose your girl friend, but I've lived through some strange and pretty serious shit with women and I've learned things. You probably will want to give her some slack and talk things through. This is probably fine, but keep these things in the back of your mind. Her mood swings might be just because she's a woman, OR they might indicate something very serious such as bi-polar disorder. Be aware that your girlfriend's issues might be relatively minor, or they might be extremely serious; serious enough to make it impossible for you to ever form a permanent mature, constructive relationship with her. Good luck! |
|
|
|
Posted: 8/31/2005 11:04:35 AM EDT
[#36]
Q, you deserve a Nobel Prize for.......... something. I don't think we would have found this at the Oprah Winfrey Book of the Month club. 
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: 8/31/2005 11:05:48 AM EDT
[#37]
Just understand that there is no cure for psychiatric disorders, only "treatments" she will NEVER get better. If she needs meds to be "normal", she will always need them. And in my experience she will not stay on her meds, most people that need them don't.
make intelligent choices. |
|
|
|
Posted: 8/31/2005 11:06:15 AM EDT
[#38]
+1 |
|
|
|
|
Posted: 8/31/2005 11:08:13 AM EDT
[#39]
How old is she?- over 30 and you need to exit the moving vehicle.
Does she live with family? - if so then you need to consider she could still be living in the toxic stew she grew up in. Do you love this woman? - pure and simple. This is a yes or no answer, provisos are bullshit. Eating disorders are treatable. Don't know squat about sexual abuse, but I would hazard a guess that it is much more difficult to treat and will impact your relationship 10X worse than an eating disorder. Be honest about your own limits. Can you handle some jealous behavior on her part? Some trust issues? Hope it works out for the best. |
|
|
|
Posted: 8/31/2005 11:13:06 AM EDT
[#40]
[cough] true [/cough] |
||
|
|
|
Posted: 8/31/2005 11:18:31 AM EDT
[#41]
Jennifer Wilbanks?
|
|
|
|
Posted: 8/31/2005 11:20:01 AM EDT
[#42]
OK.
If your already attached ,it's to freaken late. If your not attached ,GET OUT ! No matter how much you care ,no matter how strong you think you are or how smart you are ,YOU can not help her threw it. When it's over ,you'll feel like what happened to her happened to you, and on top of that ,you'll lose her in a way that's similar to having someone you love die. Then you'll watch someone you love become worthless garbage. She'll turn into a used and abused drug addicted whore . You'll suffer along for the ride ,every step. WORSE than watching them die. YOU can NOT beat the drugs as they consume her. If you think your strong enough ,go back and read that last part again, at least 10 times ! If you are already in to deep,do NOT try to help her yourself. Take her to a shrink. Not because there ideas are so "great" ,but because they can remain detached and write out prescriptions. If you must care ,get between her and drugs any way you can. Prescription drugs can really help smooth out her mood swings,and help prevent her from seeking out drugs for an escape. I don't wish to bore every one here with my story,or think to much about days past. Suffice it to say,I've been there,and I gave up future to try and save hers. In the end ,she didn't want saved ,she wanted to destroy herself. I know people that the meds have helped out,keep that in mind. Oh,whatever you do ,keep you guns locked up ! |
|
|
|
Posted: 8/31/2005 11:20:21 AM EDT
[#43]
Been married twice and my wife is a therapist. My wisdom comes with pain.... |
||
|
|
|
Posted: 8/31/2005 11:20:47 AM EDT
[#44]
Normal women are totally nuts and can barely be tolerated, if you are involved with one that has issues on top of being totally nuts, then Run Forest Run.
|
|
|
|
Posted: 8/31/2005 11:27:03 AM EDT
[#45]
Since nobody else has asked; Is she pregnant? Do you know for sure?
|
|
|
|
Posted: 8/31/2005 11:27:32 AM EDT
[#46]
I would recommend reading Dr. Laura's book 10 stupid things women do to screw up their lives and 10 stupid things men do to screw up their lives. Probably ought to read the man's book first to protect you for what's to come with the woman's book.
Now I don't know you're g/f but chances are she can't handle Dr.Laura's blunt reality. If so try to soften it for her some what. I think she speaks the truth but she doesn't pull any punches. Coming from my own personal experiences here the fact is there are just some things you can't change. If you dwell on them they won't get better. Your g/f has to be able to take responsibility for what's happened to her [meaning accept that it happened and protect herself from further abuse] and she has to get over them. Move on. If she can't do that [on her own] then my advice to you is to RUN FORREST RUN. I'm the most compassionate person you'll find but there are some problems that you just have to be able to deal with on your own. Read Dr.Laura though. Patty *ETA* If you call DrLaura and you're shacked up with the g/f May God have mercy on you as Dr.Laura won't! |
|
|
|
Posted: 8/31/2005 11:37:05 AM EDT
[#47]
no she is 20, doesn't live with family they live very far away, yes... |
|
|
|
|
Posted: 8/31/2005 11:51:52 AM EDT
[#48]
She's broken. Return her for one that isn't. Seriously.
Nothing but trouble, and not worth it IMHO. Trust me on this. |
|
|
|
Posted: 8/31/2005 11:53:03 AM EDT
[#49]
Well put. +1. |
|
|
|
|
Posted: 8/31/2005 11:56:29 AM EDT
[#50]
Ok thanks for the advice guys, I guess i thought it might be a chance to fix things Recently I have dated a few girls before finding this one and i guess i just thought i had found a good one.Damn it can be crazy finding a nice woman, either you have nothing in common or they are crazy or you fight its tough out there! |
|
|
|
AR15.COM is the world's largest firearm community and is a gathering place for firearm enthusiasts of all types.
From hunters and military members, to competition shooters and general firearm enthusiasts, we welcome anyone who values and respects the way of the firearm.
Subscribe to our monthly Newsletter to receive firearm news, product discounts from your favorite Industry Partners, and more.
Copyright © 1996-2024 AR15.COM LLC. All Rights Reserved.
Any use of this content without express written consent is prohibited.
AR15.Com reserves the right to overwrite or replace any affiliate, commercial, or monetizable links, posted by users, with our own.
Then she tells me that at a very young age a relative did some things to her and she cant stop thinking about it lately. She says that she is fine but i know that she has changed recently and these emotions are coming back out.